The Taming of a Vixen Ch. 17-18

Chapter Seventeen

"Right now?" Fear crept into her voice.

"I can't not tell you, Alyssa," he said gently. "It's the reason we fought, the reason you fell down the stairs. But I need your promise..."

"What?" she asked, reaching out for his hand, knowing in her heart that she didn't want to hear his words. The fight had to have been terrible for her to have run from him the way they said she did. It had to be something utterly horrible. She wasn't sure she really wanted to know.

"You must promise that you won't run this time. If you can't stand seeing me, I'll leave. But I will not risk you or our baby being hurt." He tipped her chin up, seeing the fear in her eyes and knowing they echoed his own. "Promise me, love?"

"I...I promise, but - God, Jason, must we do it now?" The fear was overwhelming. She had never seen him show this kind of emotion.

"I've lived in fear since you woke that you'd wake or turn your head and I would see that same look of hatred you had the day you ran out of here. I can't live with that fear any longer, Alyssa, not after tonight. I love you with everything I am, I will love you like this the rest of my life. I don't think I'm capable of not loving you." He leaned down, kissing her lips gently, feeling her hands coming up and cupping his head, holding him there. He gladly complied, finally ending the kiss with a sigh.

He tilted his head, looking at her as if he were memorizing the way she looked; the curve of her chin, the hollow of her cheek, the way her fiery curls framed her beautiful face. And then he sighed again, sitting up with his back to her.

"Do you remember the day we met, out in the park?" He laughed, sort of a hollow chuckle. "I'll never forget it. You were beautiful on that damned horse. And I thought you'd lost control. I risked my damn neck chasing you down, only to end up getting bitten."

"What does that have to do with the fight, Jason?" she asked, her hand reaching out and touching his back, letting her fingers rest against his skin, needing some connection to him.

"You'll see, love, give me a moment. My mother had sent round a note, asking me to meet her at a gala later that week, Lady M's Gala. I saw you there, dressed in a gown of silver. You were exquisite, like a Goddess rising from the mist. And I couldn't even get close to you. Your admirers were swarmed that tightly around you. I saw one of them get fresh and lost my temper. Teddy was laughing at me, which made matters worse, and I couldn't stop thinking about you. I've never had that problem before."

He turned his head, looking down at her. "I've never thought about a woman more in my life. You sneak your way in, no matter what is on my mind. Teddy has even come close to beating me in the ring due to thoughts of you, love."

Alyssa sat up, her hand holding the sheet to her breasts. She brought her knees in, resting her arm across them. "A fact he no doubt rubbed in your face," she said, smiling at him.

"Of course. As I do him when he goes all fuzzy eyed over Cat," he answered, kissing her gently. He sighed, taking a deep breath and letting it out in another sigh. "Do you remember the gardens at Lady M's, Alyssa?"

"Yes. I snuck out. I was overly warm and Lady M's punch was ghastly. I walked in the garden and then I...I met Jamie." She looked up at him, her face suddenly pale.

"You met me, love. It was me in the garden and that rescued you from the highwaymen. It was me that snuck into your room and made love to you. I was the reason you fell down the stairs. You found that damnable mask and ran from me." His hand raised to her cheek, lingered just a breath from touching it before falling to the sheet. "I'd like to tell you why, if you will listen."

Alyssa felt her head spin and her stomach flip as she thought of the things she'd said, the things she'd done and worse, those that he'd said and done. There was a roaring in her ears and she stared at him, unable to control her thoughts.

Finally she nodded, feeling as if her world had been torn apart.

"When I met you in the garden, it was a lark. I got to kiss the girl I couldn't get out of my mind, a girl who thought that the real me was an absolute beast at best. I wanted to see if I could change your mind, make you think about me the way I couldn't stop thinking about you. So I kissed you." He stopped talking, looking down at his hands.

She was just about to speak when he started speaking again, closing his eyes, his head up, a look of pain on his handsome face.

"I can remember everything of that evening, the soft sound of the music in the background, the scent of your perfume mixing with the spring flowers, the way you felt in my arms. I can even remember the soft sigh you made when my lips touched yours the first time. It was enchanted, a magical moment out of time. It was when I knew without a doubt that I had to have you in my life. But I was stupid, I was arrogant and told myself I didn't want to marry, not even you."

"Then Cat called for you and you left me. I couldn't go back into that ball and watch as those men held you as I wished to, or danced with you when I wanted to be the only man in your life. I left. I went home and changed and then went for a ride in the moonlight to think." He laughed ruefully. "I mostly thought of how you'd felt against me, wondering how I would ever find a way to get you there again."

"I heard your voice through the mist. At first I thought I was just hearing things, my mind playing cruel tricks. Then I heard you again, loud and angry, telling the highwaymen off. I knew you'd rile them, love. And I knew you'd find your way into disaster. So I grabbed a mask from a dead man, hid my horse and became Jamie, your rescuer."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Alyssa managed to say. "Why did you let me believe that I had slept with another man? Why didn't you tell me when I told you I was pregnant?"

"And what would you have done if I'd whipped off my mask and showed you my true identity? Had a good laugh and welcomed me with open arms? I was terrified that you'd leave me, especially after finding out about the baby."

He turned and faced her. "I was a coward. I took the easy way out of a situation where I should have stepped forward and been a man. But I was so frozen in fear by the thought of you leaving me, I couldn't do it. I tried, you don't know how many times I opened my mouth to tell you - only to back out at the last moment, too afraid, too much of a coward."

He took her hand in his, not letting go when she tried to pull away. "I love you, I love our baby and the life that we both want to live together. But I could no longer live with myself and the lies. I was jealous of myself, can you believe that? I was jealous because Jamie had your love. I wanted your love. And when I came to you before our wedding, I didn't know what to do. You told me, so gallantly, so selflessly, about your affair, and about the baby.

And I opened my mouth to tell you the truth and it wouldn't come out. I kept thinking that you didn't need to know, you could fall in love with me and we would forget about that time."

"But I kept the mask. I think I did it on purpose. I wanted you to know, Alyssa. God, I wanted the lies to end. I wanted to be able to look at you and be with you and not have those secrets hanging over my head any longer."

"You found it and you ran. You wouldn't even let me talk to you. You'd just told me you love me. Me...Jason. Not Jamie. And then you found the mask and your eyes turned dark as if everything that was light had been extinguished all at once. You were leaving to go to your father's. You ran out and I was getting ready to come after you when I heard you scream. I got to the stairs, and there you were, down at the bottom, splayed like a discarded doll."

Alyssa grew still as she watched him. His eyes were dark and wet with emotion, his face rigid with pain as he relived that moment. A tear swept down his cheek to drip unnoticed to the sheet, another one quickly following.

He didn't try to hide them. He didn't try to hold them in check. He was letting her see every emotion he felt now.

She felt a little thrill go through her. It had been him in the barn. Jason had taken her virginity, not some faceless man. No, it was her husband who had stood up to those highwaymen, risking his life to save hers, making her a woman in the most wonderful of ways. He'd been the one to sneak to her room, to steal her heart in the dark of the night.

Looking at him now, she wondered how she had ever been fooled. He had the same strong jaw, the same dark hair. His voice, though Jamie spoke mostly in hushed tones, was the same. And his kisses, how could she ever not have known those kisses?

She pushed the covers aside, rising from the bed to go over to the table and pick up the glass of water left there for her. Sipping it, she stared into the fire, feeling his seed slipping down her thighs.

Jason watched her, glad when she reached for the water and not for a gown. He worried that in her rage she would forget her promise and try to rush out once more. Only...she didn't seem angry so much as thoughtful. In that moment, he found hope.

"You lied to me," she said softly.

"Yes, I did."

"You played me false and let me think that I loved two men."

"Yes, I did."

"And you did it all because you feared losing me? Why does that make sense?" She set down the glass and turned back towards the bed.

He shrugged his shoulders, pushing his hair back from his face with one hand.

For a moment, she stood there, taking in the image of the man she'd wed.

He was so incredibly handsome, a rugged face and strong body that took away her breath, but his eyes showed an intelligence and a softness when they looked upon her. And love, how could she forget the love he felt for her? He'd been punished. She could still see the dark shadows from the lack of sleep and he still had the hollow look from going without food while she was unconscious. Yes, he'd been punished. But was it enough?

"I should leave you." she said, putting her knee upon the bed and pulling herself up on the tall mattress, "You know I could. My father would take me back in an instant."

"You could, but I'd be there everyday, Alyssa. I'd make fuzzy eyes at you and fill your room with flowers and anything else I could think of to make you think of me."

She settled back against the head board, pulling the covers to her waist, cupping her chin in her hand. "That would almost make it worthwhile, seeing what gifts you could come up with that you think would woo away my anger."

"We could make it easier and I could just give them to you here?" he offered tentatively.

"We could. It would save me from having to pack. Of course I'd have to do the whole thing all over again when I finally realized that I can't do without you. So much trouble for a few lies," she mused, tapping her finger upon her lips.

"Yes, so much trouble when you could stay here and make me regret those lies the rest of my life. Wouldn't that be better love?"

"Oh, does that mean special treatment?" she asked archly. "It had better be worthwhile, love. I mean, all those lies."

He pulled the covers away and knelt at her feet, kissing her toes. She shrieked with laughter as he took her feet in his hands. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said, dropping kisses over her tiny feet. "Forgive me and I'll worship the ground you walk on."

He peeked up at her through his dark lashes, seeing her smile and feeling his heart beat quicken. Was he forgiven? Was she really going to be this lenient on him?

"Come here," she said, holding out her arms.

He went joyfully, holding her so close that for a moment she forgot how to breathe. But she didn't care. When he finally loosened his hold, he stared into her eyes. "You forgive me?" he asked hopefully.

"What happened to the mask?" she asked him instead of answering.

His eyes clouded. "I burned it that night. I found it where you had dropped it and threw it into the flames. I couldn't stand to see it anymore."

"Too bad," she said with a loud sigh. He stared at her in confusion.

"What?! I would have thought you'd never want to see it again."

Her smile was swift and irresistible. "Well, you know, there was something really exhilarating about those midnight visits from the handsome masked stranger."

"You're incorrigible," he stated, though he couldn't keep the smile from his face either. "Besides, you're a happily married woman now, and you're going to be a mother soon. You'll have to be circumspect and ladylike, and only have relations with your husband once a month, and then with the candles blown out and under the covers."

"If that is your wish, my husband," Alyssa said, shrieking again when he hauled her up and pushed her down on the bed, vaulting over her to hold her down.

"My wish is for you to love me for the rest of your life. To be with me and never leave me, ever. You aren't even allowed to die, not until the very moment that I do so we may be buried together." Jason growled the words, his face rubbing against the skin of her neck and shoulders, tickling her with his breath.

She giggled, making him look up at her in delight. "I never thought to hear you sound so happy again, my love."

"Well, as long as there are no other secrets that I need to know...there aren't any, are there?" she asked, a frown upon her face.

"No my love, I'm secret-free and all yours."

* * *

In another bedchamber, not far across town from where the lovers lay entwined and happy, all doubts laid to rest, a woman plotted. She stared at the small bulge that caused the sheet to bump above her stomach with hatred.

It had taken all she had to have the herbs mixed to counteract the effects of the birth control she used. The apothecary she'd gone to had been adamant; these herbs would be effective but mixed with the others she had taken, they could cause her health problems. Female problems, he'd said, stressing the word female.

She'd taken them anyway. She was determined to win Jason back to her side despite the insipid debutante besotting him. And then she'd fucked Johnny, the young stud Jason had interrupted. She'd fucked him until she was sore and her muscles screamed for rest.

But it worked. She was pregnant and Jason would come back to her now, despite his wife. He would leave her, his wife, get a divorce. It wasn't done often but it had happened and only took a decree from the church to get it done. Jason was rich, he could pull strings if need be.

Then Abigail would take her rightful place as his wife; she would give birth to their son and his heir. Her place in society would be cemented. She smiled, trailing her hand over the hated child that she'd fought so hard to conceive.

"Soon, my son," she whispered as she felt the baby move. "You'll be born and I shall find a wet nurse and a nanny. Your father will be with us, he'll be with me. I know he will, as soon as he is made to see the truth." An evil, half-crazed expression touched her eyes and she laughed. The bed moved beside her and her current lovers arms reached for her.

"Quit talking to that lump of yours and come here and suck my cock, woman. Put that mouth to the use it was made for."

Abigail complied, gladly, feeling heat flood her thighs, mixing with the spendings of earlier that now dried there. Her lips parted as his hand held her head, guiding her to his soft cock. She suckled the small member in, feeling him start to harden between her lips. In her mind, this thin, weak cock became thick and full, hard as steel. Her eyes looked up, staring over the slight paunch of her lover and into his dumpy face and dull brown eyes.

But it wasn't him she was seeing. No, she saw blue eyes staring down at her with love, a chest that was muscled and wide, a stomach that was hard and taut. She saw Jason.

The hand in her hair pushing her roughly down became that of her love's, tenderly cherishing her as he guided her into the motion he enjoyed. The voice that gruffly ordered her to "suck it, whore," became rough and husky, begging for her love.

When he came in her mouth, she swallowed it gladly, for she knew he would see to her pleasure. But when the man she was with rolled over, patting her cheek before starting to snore again, it burst through the thin layer of her dreams and Abigail was appalled.

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, her body still lying where he'd pushed her when she'd finished him off. With a scream of hatred, she jumped on the man, punching and hitting, scratching at him until he threw her back, knocking her from the bed.

"Get out!" she screeched loudly, hating him and herself. "Get out of my house!"

"I will!" he shouted back, grabbing for his clothes even as he tried to dab at the blood streaming down his chest from her claws. "You crazy cunt, I'm bleeding!"

Abigail went after him again, murder gleaming in her wild blue eyes. Her hands were raised, her fingers curved like the talons of an eagle. She rushed at him, naked.

He turned, striking her with his palm, knocking her to the floor. "Stay there!" he shouted, trying to pull his pants on his legs.

But Abigail was beyond hearing or recognizing any form of logic. She rose, her arms flailing as she tried to get to the man who had ruined her dreams.

With a shouted oath, the man turned and hit her again, this time with his fist against her jaw. She went down hard and he kicked at her, his foot connecting roughly with her back. "You're crazy!" he shouted. "You're a lunatic."

He hurried out of the room, not even looking back at the sobbing woman crumpled on the floor.

Chapter Eighteen

The invitation was unassumingly plain, addressed simply to Her Grace, the Duchess of Clarington. Alyssa picked it up along with the other invitations that had come with it and placed them upon her desk before going back to ring for tea to be served.

As she went to sit down at the desk, the baby moved, a fluttering little kick that, while becoming more commonplace, still thrilled her. Every move, every kick meant that there was a little life inside of her. Which was getting noticeable, she thought, running her hands over her bulging tummy and looking at herself in the mirror over the fireplace.

"You look beautiful," a deep voice said.

"You're biased," she answered, smiling but not turning around.

"Damn right I am." His arms came around pulled her to him, his hands stroking over her stomach, gently caressing the burgeoning life. "But that doesn't change the truth. You are beautiful. How are my two favorite people?" he asked, bending to plant a kiss on the line of her neck.

"Wonderful," she said, turning to throw her arms around him. She went to kiss him, only to stop, horrified, for his eye and the skin around it were bright red and swollen. "Jason, what happened to you?"

He ducked his head, trying to pull away from her hands but she held him while she poked and prodded at the bruised flesh. "Teddy got in a lucky shot," he admitted grumpily, flinching when her fingers found a particularly painful spot and pressed. "Ouch! Stop it, Alyssa," he grabbed her hands.

"You deserve it. When are you two boys going to behave like grown ups?" she asked, going to the door to have the footman run to the kitchen for a cold compress.

"He started it," Jason said, only partially teasing.

"See what I mean? Children!" she said, shaking her head sadly.

"Well, it's actually your fault."

"My fault? You and Teddy get into a square ring, which is just strange all in itself, and pummel each other and it's my fault? How can it be my fault?"

"Teddy was telling me something that Cat told him and I didn't believe it of you, so I went to take him to task for his tale. But then something he said rang a bell for me, and as I was trying to determine if he was being truthful or not, this happened." He lifted his hand to his cheek, going to sit down on the sofa and wiggling his fingers for her to approach.