All Comments on 'The Term Paper Ch. 04'

Keep going.

This is a smoking hot story. For a new author, you have a great storyline that has the promise of many chapters. I liked the way you set the stage finding out about the mothers fantasties, then introduced Emily.

Although you might want to consider using an editor though and you had one main flaw to the story. You cast Emily as a down and out student, which if was the case she wouldn't normally have a passport readily accessible which would be needed for a trip out of the US. Not being too critical about it though. Just thought you might want to think about stuff like that moving forward. Overall a great story with a lot of potential to develop each charactor and their relationships to each other. Keep up the good work :-)

I have been enjoying your chapters today.

How many chapter do this story consist of?

Keep going

You just effed up the whole dynamic of this story, which I was truly enjoying!

WHY must nearly every author think it's so appealing to everyone that others always need to be added?! Thought he was so into momma! Jeeez! Where the eff did that dopey chick come from ANYway!?! Absolutely detest her personality!! Too pushy and intrusive! I commend your writing style however. I'm out!

Ciao

I have seen negative feedback about spelling, but I think they meant grammar. The Spell-checker will not correct your use of the wrong word if it is spelled correctly, example "aloud" when it should be "allowed". That is something you need an editor's eyeballs to catch, or re-read it yourself a couple of days after writing it, when your passion for writing has cooled.

As for Emily and her possible financial difficulties, you could certainly do with more lead in to introducing such a character to the mix. The post-911 security complaints (Emily's passport) could be effectively handled by dating your story pre-911. It is fiction, after all. And they are quite French in Quebec, I understand. Possibly even to the point of having nudist resorts. Canada is more easily traveled to than Europe, especially on short notice. It does stretch belief that international air flight could be arranged just before takeoff.

However, this is a very good story line so far, and I have enjoyed it. I look forward to your continuation.

I agree that you should wait a day or two to read what you wrote so you could more easily spot the grammatical and spelling errors. HOWEVER. I see nothing wrong with introducing Emily into the story, especially if it doesn't interfere with the Mother/son relationship, or they become a family triad. Who knows, maybe Mom wants grandkids somewhere down the road but doesn't want to get pregnant. By introducing Emily, then it gives Mom another partner to play with as well. So if you are out, then so be it. Plenty of us left to read on as the story progresses.

Not sure why 9-11 was brought up. It is an easy assumption for the purposes of the story to think that everyone has an up to date passport and is not on the "No Fly List". We go to Hedonism in Jamaica every Halloween. We just assume that everyone on the plane has a passport, otherwise airport security would not have let Emily on the plane.

This chapter could definitely use some more proofreading, I noticed a lot of typos, mostly in the form of homophones.

I've never seen such terrible use of the english language. Get someone to edit or correct your writing.

You sure wasted your time taking english in school. I wonder how or if you graduated.

I can't even finish this chapter because you added another heroine..

were instead of we're, viral instead of virile, theology instead of philosophy, and how the hell did Emily got on an international flight with just a few minutes notice? Get an editor, instead of just running it through Spell-Checker, you spelled all the wrong words correctly, but they're still the wrong words. 2/5

Fun mate if your going to mention an airliner by fucking model number then get your shit right. A MD11 or McDonald Douglas 11 is not a wide body you dick as it’s single isle. On top of that it seats 5 across with seat C being the isle. So 2 seats one side and 3 the other. A wide body has at least 2 isles and even then some aren’t really considered wide bodies. Also an MD11 is a tiny regional airliner at 100 or way less seats and that all cattle class as well. It’s even way way smaller than a B737 the MOST POPULAR airliner ever as more of those have been built than any other.

The fuel. So a MD11 is a high bypass ratio turbofan and is fueled by JetA, just filtered very well kerosene with some antifreeze in it to stop the dissolved water freezing at -46 deg C at cruise altitude. If you had a open bucket of Jet A1 and an open bucket of normal car petrol or gasoline in US and threw a lit match into each one the JetA1 would put the match out while the petrol would WOOF with a big fireball and burn like a mother fucker. Kero/JetA1 has to be spread thin or sprayed into ting droplets and then heated to quite hot to burn a match won’t cut it nor will a lighter or those jet lighters a blow torch would work great.

All that metal and shit in the wings and plane? Not fucking likely. An aircraft is 95% aluminium or duralumin an aluminium that has an aluminium oxide coating on it that stops corrosion in the air. If scratched the bare duralumin forms a new oxide layer in minutes. So parts not aluminium are titanium and stainless steel but that’s hardly anything as WEIGHT SAVING IS ABSOLUTELY KING.

The MD11 was a death trap to start out and the movie where the pilot on cocain flys it upside down to save it well that’s a MD11, sort of. MD11’s aren’t around anymore as they aged out and McDonnel Douglas went broke and Boeing bought them out. Boeing scrapped the entire company except the MD11 and Boeing makes and still sells it today as the Boeing 717 or B717.

I’ve been flying aircraft for 29 years and my current company operates Boeing 717 aircraft under contract and I fly other aircraft. So seeing this crap in your story when there was absolutely no need pisses me off. Why did you have to name the aircraft type? Why tell us how every country on earth thinks it’s ok to fly around as a bomb with such dangerous fuel? It shows that your lazy and I noticed that glaring mistake as it’s my thing but have others noticed other mistakes that I didn’t? If using real life facts the. Get it right or leave it out.

1 Star now and I’m pissed you ruined a story I was enjoying.

THERE ARE A LOT OF NONSENSES AND MISTAKES in the comment below about the MD 11 airplane!First of all,IT'S DEFINITELY NOT TRUE that "a McDonald Douglas 11 is not a wide body as it’s single isle" or that "an MD11 is a tiny regional airliner at 100 or way less seats and that all cattle class as well"!These are NONSENSES!On the contrary,AN MD 11 IS A WIDE BODY JET AIRLINER and IT HAS 2 AISLES(that's THE CORRECT spelling!),with 3 seats in the middle and 2 seats on each side of the plane!Also,an MD 11 IS A LARGE AIRLINER WITH A CAPACITY RANGING BETWEEN 298 AND 410 SEATS and HAVING ALL 3 CLASSES in some variants!So,the MD 11 IT'S NOT AT ALL "way way smaller than a B737",but MUCH MORE LARGER!And the B737 IT'S NOT " the MOST POPULAR airliner ever" because even if it is the most widespread passenger plane,THAT DOESN'T MEAN AT ALL that it is the most popular!THE MOST POPULAR AIRLINER IS THE AIRBUS A320!

Regarding the fuel,JetA and JetA1 ARE NOT THE SAME THING!THEY ARE TWO DIFFRENT TYPES OF FUEL and the primary difference between them is the lower freezing point of JetA1:JetA freezes at - 40 degrees C and JetA1 freezes at - 47(NOT - 46!) degrees C!

Then,aluminium,which is the main material in building of an aircraft,IS ALSO A METAL!So,"all that metal in the wings and plane" IT'S NO "SHIT" AT ALL,but THE VERY TRUE!And an aircraft IS NOT " 95% aluminium",but ONLY UP TO 80% ALUMINIUM!

And the MD 11 WAS DEFINITELY NOT "a death trap to start out"!THAT'S JUST BULLSHIT!Indeed,it had quite some flaws in its performance,but IT WASN'T ANY "death trap"!Also,Boeing DOESN'T MAKE AND SELL MD 11 "today",as Boeing 717!THAT'S ANOTHER CRAP!Boeing 717 IS THE MD(or McDonnell Douglas) 95,NOT THE MD 11!And IT'S ALSO NOT TRUE that "MD 11’s aren’t around anymore"!On the contrary,THE MD 11'S ARE VERY MUCH AROUND,but AS CARGO AIRCRAFT because they aren't used as passenger planes anymore!THERE ARE 121 MD 11'S IN COMMERCIAL SERVICE today!

So,IT'S VERY OBVIOUS that the IDIOT who wrote SUCH MISTAKES AND NONSENSES about the MD 11,IS DEFINITELY NOT AN AIRLINE PILOT because A REAL AIRLINE PILOT WOULD KNOW HIS JOB and HE WOULDN'T TELL SUCH ABERRATIONS ABOUT A PLANE!It's true that the author of this story DID MADE SOME MISTAKES when writing about airplanes,as telling that "every country on earth thinks it’s ok to fly around as a bomb with dangerous fuel",but THAT CERTAINLY DOESN'T MEAN THAT SOME MORON can come here and write ALL SORT OF RUBBISH about airplanes,pretending to be an airline pilot!GET LOST,YOU DICKHEAD,and STOP WAISTING OUR TIME with such IDIOTIC SHIT!

I loved the story unti sick fucks getting sloppy seconds,cant anybody write something that doesnt include sharing and sloppy seconds! Definitely was a good plot but you had to ruin it!

Did the mother set him up knowing this tart wanted him?