All Comments on 'The Third Swing at Bat'

Thanks for contributing to Legends' Day and for posting another story so soon. I hope some of the other writers post more stories, too.

Came across as a total cunt and the Jeanette character was totally unbelievable.

3* for the quality of writing but the story was shit.

I'm envious. The author all but apologized for sharing a tale that he has some fundamental qualms about yet this flowed in fine style overall . The narrator is a laconic, sweet shmuck who gets played to some degree by every woman ( including his daughter ) in this story, yet doesn't hold grudges and is far shrewder in his business dealings. Nathan is generous , avoids drama and deserved the happy ending he eventually got.

The women that use and evict him, do get a short term return, but as time passes realize they've ultimately punished themselves by throwing away a keeper. His void mandates a rueful touché/ mea culpa usually sooner then later.

Mainefiddleheads charmed me with this choice of an easy going fella , as main character, who gets progressively more proficient with each significant other at reacting to their onslaughts until finally he finally finds Jeanette who reveals herself as woman who knows value of a win-win relationship. I thank him for sharing.

you are supposed to go back to the bench. TK U MLJ LV NV

You are hands down one of the very best story tellers on Literotica, and beyond. Thanks for sharing.

Another good story. The only thing that got in the way was the scheming to break up the marriage in the first place. It was a little over the top. Better was the scheming to break up him and Jeanette. That was more realistic. What was best was exposing how relationships are so fragile when people do not have the courage to be 100% honest and put their ego's out there.

I lked this one better than the last one...Maybe because it had no politics...It's a good story, @Mainefiddleheads style, and that says it all...4*

I enjoyed the story. Good pacing, nice uncertainty about the outcome, not too much BTB, realization that relationships don't end with a final decree.

If this didn't have your name on it , I would have never guessed that this was by you . I suppose that can be a good thing , stretching your literary wings .

Nathan seemed to have had a voodoo doll of himself , and someone was putting the pins to him often . But , sometimes life is exactly that way . That rat bastard that put the screws ( pun intended ) to his marriage to Janet , really was a bastard . You really made me feel something there , that's great writing .

His second marriage probably was doomed from the start , those rebounds seldom end well.

Nice touch with his understanding that he had been played , very nuanced , very well done.

Overall it was a really great tale , but I do miss those wonderful geographic stories that you simply excel at . Still though ,

5 *'s

# 5 Your going to make all those gay cuck writers jealous

Convoluted, but never implausible to the point of disbelief.

Not in my world. You see, in every state in the union, a fraudulently hidden claim can be used to reopen a probate. Ole jim may find forgiveness in the arms of Jesus, but I ain't Him. The lawsuit, well, a decade of interest, emotional distress, the money I lost in the divorce, it cost his estate 6 million dollars. His family was destroyed. As far as I was concerned he was no better than a gangster who gave money to his family and the government came and got it all back. He killed my life for a piece of my wife's pussy. The jury found in my favor. The conditions of his family never was allowed before the jury, it was not relevant. The wife was young and could marry again.

Your writing is very talented and has great potential, but you should consider making a few changes. Too often your plot hinges on a failure of communication, either miscommunication or total lack of. Yes, I know in real life this happens all the time, but it is a trait of stupid or fearful or dishonest people. You can't construct intelligent or virtuous characters and then have them miscommunicate like dishonest dumb shits without making the story feel contrived and fake.

Michelle never tells him about calling out Janet's name, never tells him that she thinks he still loves Janet, never tells him she thinks their marriage is a mistake. But after exhibiting all that reticence and reluctance to broach this crack in their relationship, she has no trouble kicking his ass out in the most vindictive and cruel way possible, without a word of explanation?

And Janet, is getting hit on by one of the guys from her husband's work, for months, but never tells her husband, but she knows the guy wants to fuck her, so she knows the guy is a complete slime ball, so she then believes her husband just became blind drunk and fucked another woman, because the slime ball tells her, and lets her into the room to discover them, and after ditching the husband without a word, she apparently now has feelings for the slime ball and fucks him for months, never suspecting they have been set up. Or she was just a whore all along?

Do I really need to point out you did exactly the same thing with his relationship with Jeanette? After the garden party Jeanette never sits down to discuss where they are and what his relationship with Janet is, she just bugs out and starts fucking some other guy. Until they suddenly meet again and then, after all the pain and regret, they now, finally, have the communication that somehow escaped them before, when it was ripe and most appropriate. And of course they both loved each other maturely and intelligently but never said they loved each other. I mean, that would have ruined the whole story, right? Can't let these intelligent mature characters act like adults and fuck up the whole plot. No, you did that all on your own.

You generate this frustration because you are a very talented and imaginative writer, but you consistently fall back of lazy plot devices to make the story work. You can do much better, and I am hoping you will.

Thanks for the effort. I hope you will continue.

Re: His first marriage – Even if he DID cheat, and that’s apparently open to question, why should she get BOTH houses?

Why did Caroline need a new job?

I’m sorry, I guess I would do it for Rose, but since HE’S over the divorce, why should he give a shit about helping her out with her guilt?

"Of course not, sweetie” – Bad typo! He IS going to her graduation, no “not!”

"Is there anything I can do to make things, anything right between us?" – No, things are NEVER going to be right! We can get along for the sake of Rose and any grand kids, but that’s it.

“Michelle knew the history and perhaps that explained the condescending sneer” – She knew the history and had a CONDESCENDING sneer? It should have been an embarrassed look.

No matter how much truth there was in what Michelle said, as she herself said she should have just done an amicable divorce, or better yet, get him some counseling! There’s been no indication that he’s cried out Janet’s name when he sleeps with Jeanette.

Thank GOD you didn't put him back with Janet! She's got a lot of nerve being mad at him, since she played him!

Excellent story! Certainly highlighted some of pit falls of letting anger and pain of betrayal destroy all communication. Also as stated in earlier comments this was a bit different than most of your previous stories and to be honest I kinda missed your exceptional ability to draw the reader into the physical settings​ of your stories.

Regardless, great story! Thank you for the wonderful read!

Killian

...slow to the punch, but he did get it right in the end.

It was enjoyable as much for the likeable characters as for their mutual storylines.

Thank you.

Once again an excellent tale! I enjoy your characters, they seem to think like I do, or rather react I imagine I would react in similiar circumstances. That said, the one comment about this story is you mention Solomon having help from another guy, in setting him up. This character seems like the kind of guy who would look that guy up and, if not upset his applecart, at least warp the wheels some to make it harder to push around!

Really enjoyed this, 5*.

Helped pass the working day nicely!

The story is good with some warning about what knee jerk angry reactions can do. I liked the characters and the first person view. 5*

Convoluted as hell. This guy was tough! He went through some stuff and came through smelling like a rose. Sweet!

Good tale ... but do u know how often i intermixed janet and jeanette??? Not helpful

Many thanks.

Another dramatic illustration of one of Life's eternal verities:

'If in doubt choose the one who owns a bar'.

It was a winding path to the end. I admit that I felt a lot of sympathy for Janet but it was a case if her floating on the breeze whereas Jeanette was solider.

Best story I have read here for quite a while! I liked the characters and the plot line.

Well done!!

Why in the world would you name two characters in similar situation with such similar names? It leads to great distraction and greatly contributes to confusion and detracts from the real story. anonjerry

There wasn't enough sex to be honest

1. It is hard to arrange two people getting wasted and putting them in the same room at a party without anyone figuring out what you are doing.

2. You have to be an alcoholic or drugged to be so blind drunk that you don't know what is happening, where you are, who you are with, and whether or not you had sex with them. It would not be an aberration - it would be a recurring behavior.

3. If it was a one time fuck up in the way it was described - would a wife with a child really divorce her husband? She might if she already wanted out of the marriage - if not she'd have to weigh the rest of the marriage - her husbands presence in her daughters life against a one time act of stupidity.

4. Years later, after she'd taken her vengeance - would she really want to get back with him?

more betrayal and more burning is my preference, but this held my interest to the end. he certainly knows how to pick em!

Find a certain grave and leave a liquid deposit. *****

In the story mf explains that he and the woman were drugged.

I like mf's writing but this story has a problems. I could see Michelle angry at him using Janet's name, but she doesn't confront him? Tell him why she is mad? Janet likewise believes a sleaze who she knows is a pussy hound, doesn't wonder about the situation at hand then bangs him? Women can do a lot of stupid things, I have seen a lot, but neither of these makes sense, they act totally off the deep end.It looks to me both of them were subconsciously looking for a way out of the marriage or something.If I was the protagonist I would see a shrink, he seems to have a tendency towards marrying psychos, Gibbs on NCIS has better luck.

. . . your stuff. 5*

The flaw is that he WAS still in love with Janet. Everyone knew it and saw it. He was just stubborn ending up with Jeanette. To bad.

Once burned, twice shy! Twice burned, still smoldering! Maybe a third time's the charm.

Good story.

Boyd Percy

The author has a beguiling way about his story telling. Always a nice flow and not too edgy, etc. A quick crit would be his stretching to the point of humor on his protag's sex verbiage - dropping loads in her juicy box, etc. I had to laugh. This guy is straight up hard working, rather urbane but still a regular type of guy and his sexicon is like jazz riffing for pussy. Funny.

Overall problem is both first and second wives don't really ever quite come off the page like you want them. I read a nice little cheat story last night and I could smell her and see her and you know what. Now that's talent. That's what I need for these characters. It's why reading stangstar's stupid bitches is such a drag most every single time.

Anyway, it would have been nice to get more palpable women. Jeannette definitely has some depth, though, even if she was mainly a cockhound.

But why the james bond premise with the setup and the doping and...? Everytime these doping plots come up it seems like an easy way out.

My two cents, but Maine is always a good read. Thank you.

He still loved his first wife. But to spit her for leaving him, he will marry another?

That won't last long.

Give you five stars. But could only go for four. I sort of regret that I didn't go ahead with five. Thanks for the story.

The story flowed so well, characters were neat, I have no criticism. Just plain good story. I agree, generally no point in getting upset by old news. Enjoy the present, plan for a good future, which he did.

Chilley

what I'm about to say--I enjoyed the story, especially the pacing--it was excellent.

Great story. Dust off some more. Thanks.

What a fun story and very well told. Keep finding more.

In your preface, you compared yourself unfavorably to other literary lights here at LW. You need not do so; your work is at the top in any measure. I always enjoy finding that you have written a new piece. I've not been disappointed yet. One last issue: can someone please remove the 'kick me' sign from Nathan's back?

A great read. Got any others with dust on them? 5* read

Didn't like the women characters.

They were all basically stupid sluts.

Janet falls hook line and sinker for a jackass plot and ruins her marriage to be the idiot's whore, Michelle is simply a conniving whore and Jeannette leaves the man she loves and immediately starts fucking another man for two weeks, who was he? Who cares. He had a penis and that was all she apparently needed.

Not really charmed by this romance of disgusting sluts.

Well written and entertaining as usual.

How is it RAAC? He didn't go back to EITHER of his ex-wives. He may have toyed with the idea of reconciling with the first wife, but didn't.

maybe you were confused, as some of us were, by Janet/Jeanette?

Good point! She never wonders why the pussy-hound has a key-card for the room?

I've commented in many stories, those most with less "evidence" than here ("Pictures Never Lie: A Love Story" by dtiverson comes to mind), why are wives so quick to believe the guy that obviously wants to fuck them? It NEVER occurs to them that he might have an ulterior motive?

....who was a serial cheating skank, I loved the rest of the characters in this story, and the story as a whole. I would have liked more comeuppance for the miscreants who set up the destruction of a marriage so one of them could get into Janet's panties. Death by pancreatic cancer just seems too kind, IMHO. Plus, there was at least one other person involved who clearly was attending the company party.

I also want to commend you on your writing on this one. Except for a few oopsies, which others have pointed out, it read very well. I love some of your phrasing -- which is always good, but I especially enjoyed: "my own season of marriage" and "I'd be her property later but for now I held her deed."

The "Both of them set the bridge on fire." line reminded me of the eponymous RichardGerald story, which is a fine read for anyone who likes a good revenge yarn.

I'm just getting started in reading your body of work, and I've enjoyed everything I've tried so far. Thanks for writing and sharing here. I'm definitely getting my money's worth, no need to send me a refund! ;-)

Thank you for a the interesting, complex story.

Interesting plot, a man who is very good at business. Just muddling through his social life.

Complex as he has three women he loves enough to marry and several sexual liaisons with others over eight to ten years.

Yet Mainefiddleheads something was missing from your story. I felt no connection, no emotions. I'll be in Charleston this summer, so I look forward to the places you described in this story. Oh😖, you didn't have any this time. The whole story was inside, except for his quick walk to a pub, restaurant, backyard....

I know I touched a raw nerve with some of my earlier comments in your first few stories. I don't want that to occur here. But I believe you had a good instinct originally about this particular story. It wasn't upto your usual quality.

Gave you 3*s.

Thank you for the effort.

AMerryman

and you're out. Whatever that means.

Five stars. Excellent storyline. Thanks for the offering.

Jeanette was pretty retarded, it was a mistake getting back with, he only fucked Janet once, quickly realising his mistake, he should have had some harsh words with Rose for that.

Jeanette dropped him almost like Michelle did and spent two weeks fucking up a storm, not to mention what other partners she had afterwards, I wouldn't want to get back with that.

Or perhaps it's more accurate to say that she acted just like Janet? Not talking, just ending things, though all three women could be described as turning a misunderstanding into misery.

He should stop sticking his dick in crazy.

No, not highly erotic but an interesting and insightful story. Thank you!

reading the last sentence. That last paragraph ties the whole thing together very nicely.

Very well done and enjoyed the time it took to read it. Thank you!

Reading your story, I'd have to conclude that there is only one brain divided among all the women in the world. The one overriding principle in this single hive mind is to never talk about any concerns having to do with a relationship with the person who they have the relationship with. Never seek the truth or common understanding. And always believe what anyone else says without asking the truth from the husband, never giving them the chance to face the accusations. Hell, the legal system of the USA says you have the right to face your accuser.

Excellent work. Well developed characters and you got into the head of several of them.

excellent story!!! lots of depth and tightly written

I'm sorry, I don't want to seem like a prick here, but by her own admission his daughter hasn't been around as much as she should have, and when she DOES come by it's to relay a message from the first wife who wouldn't even speak to him at their daughter's graduation.

"She did tell me later that she didn't think we had sex that night but couldn't say for certain" - That shouldn't be THAT hard to tell. Even without a medical exam to tell if she had been penetrated, wouldn't his cock have her vaginal juices on it?

I repeat an earlier comment: The guy that she KNOWS wants to get into her pants just happens to have a key card to the room her husband is "cheating" in, and she's not suspicious?

While at the company party James and his friend set Nathan and Mrs. Lucas up! Obviously James' friend works with him at Nathan's company since the friend was at the party. How come Smart Nathan didn't go nuclear on James' friend who helped set him up. Nathan would have known who that friend was. Also James being all "reborn Christian" would have mentioned the friends name in his letter to Nathan. James would have asked Nathan to forgive the friend as well. But knowing Nathan's character he would have nailed the guy to a cross for what they did to his marriage. What's wrong as an author you don't want anyone to have some revenge?

the mind games not the reality, TK U MLJ LV NV

In book form this could have been one helluva story. But condensed like this, it was too convoluted. I like some of your stories, but not this one. I hope for better results in the next story of yours that I choose to read.

As a serious reader of the LW category here, I try to stay with the top 20% and even at that, wade through a lot of drivel. Strong plots and good dialogue like THIS are the reward. Thanks for the offering.

what the hell is that... u sure like using. it enjoyed the story

JUST STARTED READING YOUR STORIES, GREAT STUFF, I THINK EVERYTHING WORKED OUT ABOUT PERFECT WITH THIS , IF HE HAD GOT BACK WITH THE X IT WOULD BE THROUGH GUILT ON HER BEHALF AND NOTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN QUITE TICKETY BOO , PAST IS PAST AND GOING BACK NEVER WORKS - I KNOW THROUGH PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, WHY PEOPLE FAIL TO TALK AT THE RIGHT TIME - FUCK ONLY KNOWS , JUST 5*****.

By the end of the story, everything and everyone is so broken, it's like they each took turns in a septic tank. Mostly, I am a bit baffled about the daughter's involvement, and while there was an effort to test Jeanne past mere sexual compatibility, which is like spotting a 65 gram gold nugget in your closed coy pond,

I just didn't find the reconnection plausible after her long campaign of trying to convince him he's still in love with Janet, which is destructive confusing unloving and hurtful, plus the breaking up and seeing others, which is all the same again.

Nothing to write home about.

yes. Love the ending.

Michelle was a bitch, Jeanette incredibly stupid (and a slut), but Janet took the cake:

"You remember James Solomon? He used to come by the house a good bit when you guys were working a tight schedule. What you didn't know is he used to come around a lot when you were on the road with clients. I knew he was sniffing for pussy but he always struck out."

So Janet constantly led this James prick on, knowing he wanted to fuck her. Then after months of her teasing this asshole, he decides to blow up their marriage so he could finally get some pussy. Janet refused to give Nathan any chance to explain that he never actually had sex, she fucks the guy she's been flirting with, then rapes her husband in the divorce.

Janet never told Nathan about James constantly hitting on her, because she knew she was behaving totally inappropriately. A single guy doesn't spend months sniffing around someone else's wife if she shuts him down and refuses to even let him in the house. If Janet hadn't been flirting with James Solomon in the first place, NONE of the shit that destroyed their marriage would have happened!

Janet was directly responsible for totally fucking Nathan's life up and he basically just shrugs when she finally tells him the truth?!

As usual, a great job of storytelling and writing. I've always enjoyed your stories and this was no exception.

Thanks for all the free entertainment you've provided over the years. I hope to see many, many more. Great stuff. 5 stars, of course.

THANK YOU

you made a male character that actually is capable of higher cognitive thoughts!

a lot of people complain about the cliche of the 'martian slut ray' for women, but NO ONE mentions the sad sack male protagonist....having literally everyone decide for him...how he feels...what he feels...why he feels it.

this might be one of the rarest stories here. they all told him , 'you love janet' and he's like, 'naahhh'. that's more amazing than you may realize. and it was a good story to boot. it's hard to love a woman that did what she did to him. he never got closure, so it made sense to me his nightmares would involve her name in his sleep. it amazes me his ex wife thought a trip down nostalgia lane and a fuck would make years of punishing him over-the-top go away though. and add to that, he was set up. she should have felt pretty rotten before that revelation. she involved her kid. you dont do that unless the ex was toxic, and he wasn't. she should have done joint-custody arrangements...she was selfish in her revenge. if she had to ruin her daughter's childhood a bit, so be it. that's pretty bad, even if he had a drunken hook-up.

... rather than LW. Neither wife fucked around until divorce papers were served. One was divoring him under the (mistaken) impression he cheated first. Another because she finally realized he still loved his first wife. So now he was finding his third “true love”.

Loved the story though.

5-stars

5* from me.

Liked it the first time. Liked it a even more the second. Nuanced characters, especially considering the quick sketch rendering required for such a short piece. Even Michelle is ultimately sympathetic, although I might be tempted to drop the sym prefix. Thanks once again.

Well, I just finished a good story - ‘Ghost in the Wind’ - by Just Words, that takes place between Raleigh, NC and Portland ME. Of course it piqued my appetite for an MFH story, and ‘The Third Swing’ is one of my favorites. So, once again, thanks much.

veery well written and I hated it right up to the ending..

Jeaneatte is a cheating whore like all the others

I'd have told her to keep walking ans then black listed the bitch of a daughter and never spoken to her again

Unfortunately your LW stories have become pretty predictable. You use the same basic storyline making the reader think they are reading a reconciliation story that doesn't play out that way at the end. I've been through quite a few of your LW stories and the storyline is pretty much the same. Man has a bad divorce, finds some FWB, ex-wife appears to want to get back after divorce, man doesn't and marries FWB partner. Your LW stories followed this theme pretty much in all your stories I've read. It's said that everyone has a story in them and you've done this theme to death.

You are a good writer but you really need another storyline for your LW stories.

mfh, this is a great story. I did not expect to see the ending that way. 5....

A good story well told. Thank you.

LWlurker

Outstanding story... Wasn't expecting the ending... 5 Stars... Very well written...

Read again:

I can think of some very good authors on here who write stories about men who were obviously stupid about who they married and or turn themselves into pussies for a reconciliation, who should use this story as a learning tool.

Thank god. I thought you were going to get him back together with Janet.

1 star - who reads comments anyway?

I'm ok with this ending, however, in this circumstances I would also accept going back to Janet

All them three are all the same. They see or imagine a relationship problem, don't talk about it and silently leave. The new marriage will last until the first misunderstanding.

He really picks the dumb silent type of woman. Three women who all leave him and refuse to communicate, feels like he will be three times the loser soon.

I would have gotten back together with Janet, especially after the comments made by his second wife. That said, I certainly buy how you managed the twist toward the end. I really enjoy your writing style that keeps the storyline relevant and characters that could be someone I know, or am. 5*

VERY FINE WRITING. It's mostly wasted on this audience.

I like how Janet won't forgive till she receives the letter. So she okay to cheat with the guy who set up her husband. What if her husband was still alive would she forgive? I doubt it Janet got what she deserved lost love and regret.

This. Had acted was written very realistically, lots of confusion and thoughts about exes, and life. It’s never an easy decision to make big changes. I’m glad he was true to himself and didn’t get caught up in nostalgia

I can tell who is an Old Timer on LW when they delve into that cliché

A sad story. I suppose that I would have liked to see Nathan and Janet get back together - especially after what Michelle had told him. James was the manipulator and liar who did so, so much damage. He destroyed the marriage for a few weeks of the ripples echoed down the years, but maybe Janet should have been more ready to discuss it with Nathan as she knew the sort of person James was. I think that her refusal to forgive, even with Carl's prompting, was sad. She didn't even wonder if it was a drunken one-nighter (more ripples from James). You can tell I think it's a good story as I am treating the characters like real people. It's all believable, not necessarily probable, but believable. In the end, I'm not sure that Nathan and Jeanette will last - especially if he still says "Janet" name in his sleep.

Too bad. I think it more sense for Nathan and Janet to get back together. The young bubbly Jeanette seemed like a FWB distraction. There was deep emotions there with Janet and Nathan. They should have gotten to have another chance. I didn't the scheming. That wasn't that well presented assuming that is what the author wanted the MC to deduce. Well interesting anyways to see a story where the wife is Old Testament and fucks up with no forgiveness until too late. Usually it is a husband when that wife cheats.

I am surprised that so many commenters happily burn Janet for having a revenge fling AFTER she served the MC with divorce papers. A lot of LW stories have the husband do something similar. Sometimes serving and running away in silence.

Great story. Almost to the end I thought he will be back with his first wife and hated the idea.

Thank you for the nice surprise.

5 stars

First of all, thank you for not making this a RAAC garbage it was tricking us into believing it would be.

Second great story. Nice BTB on #2, and my only complaint is lack of BTB on #1. She had an emotional affair with the guy, even if she's puffed up about not fucking him physically, and DIRECTLY as a result of her encouraging him, ruined the life of the protagonist. If she ended up dead or in mental ward permanently, wouldn't sadden me at all. And the daughter is an ass too :(

4.5 stars for the issues above, but the decent writing, happy end and the BTB on #2 makes me round it up to 5 stars.

@Syzyguy and anon - you are 100% wrong. It wasn't the case of evil James destroying a solid marriage and a loving and devoted ex wife deserving a second chance. Janet had an emotional affair with James, with open eyes and full intent, and THAT encouraged him to destroy Nathan's marriage and life. Then, she fucked him over in the divorce, including losing almost all access to his child. So Janet deserves zero second chances.

A good story with a nice interplay of characters being human and doing what ever it takes to try and get their own way regardless of the cost to others.

Considering the way Janet was portrayed as an uncompromising bitch who would not listen to her husband, I am glad it didn't end up as a pathetic RAAC story. The villainess had been too successfully painted as the bad nasty bitch, and a bit of sympathy from the reader coz she ended up in the nut hut didn't change or atone for the damage she had done to an innocent man.

1 starred the story without even reading it. Why? Because of your entitlement in the intro. You come off as so full of yourself it's surprising shit doesn't ooze out of every nook and cranny. And yes, that does imply that since shit is supposed to be oozing out and since you are full of yourself, you are shit. Not the shit, just shit. Festering, rotting, stinking shit. The kind even worms won't touch because it's just so toxic.

One worm was saying to another "They've just arrested Dave for attempted vermicide. They caught him trying to push someone towards a pile of demander."

Yes. It's stupid and tasteless but it's what you deserve.

But hey, to quote you, if you paid too much for this response let me know so i can give you a refund post haste.