All Comments on 'The Third Thumb'

The story developed nicely, and it was well-paced (I even ignored oddities like his having girlfriends who "eased" his tension whilst still remaining a virgin), but the dialogue - especially hers - felt too artificial. Almost every story here requires some suspension of disbelief, but the protagonists came over like they were negotiating a contract rather than trying to get into each other's pants. Maybe you could try fewer spoken words and allow your characters to have an inner dialogue at certain points, where a more formal tone might be more appropriate?

your writings is good sexual reading.how about finishing the story of laura.

...the dialogue was positively abominable. I'm sorry if that seems harsh, but it seems like two cyborgs are talking to each other whenever they open their mouths. Re-read the dialogue and ask yourself this question: To people (especially siblings) talk to each other even REMOTELY like that? The answer is a resounding no. Dialogue between close individuals is meant to be quick and casual, not longwinded, aristocratic, and speech-like.

The sex was nice, and the story was solid, but the dialogue was extremely distracting.

In contrary of what other commenters said, I just loved the way the story was written. Ofcourse it doesn't souns natural when to lovers talk to each other like that, but the whole story is written in old-style English, so why not the dialogues. To me it completes the work of art. Besides that it's somewhat funny.

I enjoyed your story and couldn't get myself to stop reading.

Carry on!

excellent story bro. its really really really good.

This well-written story illustrates what can happen when a therapeutic massage morphs into a degree of sensuality. When I massaged friends years ago, my hands would occasionally "accidentally" slide closer to erogenous areas. If the friends signified their pleasure with sighs, moans or other encouragement, the massage would become increasingly sensuous. I continued this practice when I became a certified massage therapist, gaining much repeat business when a client received his or her satisfying sexual release. I'm retired now, but I still give sensuous massages to all who ask. I no longer charge for the sessions, satisfied to have many body types on whom to continue perfecting my erotic massage techniques. Author syrensong has written an arousing story here, marred only by the stilted dialogue. I look forward to reading more massage pieces submitted by this Literotica contributor.

totally unrealistic no way would any guy that was teased as much as you said he was would ever stick around and would never help her or have sex with her keep it realistic and believable please this is not the twilight zone

i feel sorry for you. obviously haven't loved. matt's reaction real and true, especially in re siblings

if you are treated like shit by someone especially family you ignore and avoid them at all costs you sure don't help or fuck them.

Page 1 "but I now had my own girl friends and was able to get my own relief elsewhere."

Page 2 "She didn't know I was still a virgin and I had longed for this first experience of a woman's body."

These two lines contradict eachother

Nobody talks like that

I like the story a lot. AAAAA++++

one star for the lie of omission in the tags