The Three B's: Just Another...

"What are you going to do now?"

"My boss has already got the paperwork ready. I'm going to add a restraining order based on the way Mike was coming at me for my phone. He will be served tomorrow. What are you going to do?"

"Same thing. Find an attorney and get rid of her ass."

"Why not use mine? The paperwork is already done and all Fred would have to do is put Barb's name in place of Mike's, and your name in place of mine."

That is just what I did. We picked up my car and I followed Bev to where she worked, met with Fred, wrote him a check and then went home to do what I'd told Barb I was going to do. While I waited on the locksmith I'd called, I bagged up everything of Barb's I could find and put it out on the driveway. When I got home from work on Wednesday, Barb's stuff was gone. Barb called me several times over the next week or so, but I never took her calls. She was served at work, but never hired an attorney. She simply signed the paperwork, sent it back and six months later, I was a free man.

For about nine months.

That was how long it took for Bev's divorce to become final. Hers took longer than mine because Mike fought it. He wasn't trying to stop it, but he fought over the asset split and alimony and that dragged things out. During that period, Bev and I got together a lot to cry on each other's shoulders and over time, things slowly morphed into a relationship.

One night while having dinner at Tricocci's, Bev said, "The worst part of all this for me is the absence of a sex life. I'm so horny that I'm thinking of going out this Friday and Saturday and trying to hook up with someone."

"You don't want to do that. A random hook up can lead to some pretty bad things. Haven't you ever heard the saying that when you have sex with someone you are having sex with every person that someone has ever had sex with?"

"I've never heard that. What does it mean?"

"Say that A had sex with B, C and D. C had gonorrhea and gave it to A. A, in turn passed it on to B and D. D, in turn gave it to E, F, and G. You go out Friday night and go into a place where E, F, and G are looking for some action and you hook up with one of them. Get the picture?"

"Vividly. So I have to make sure that I'm bumping uglies with someone I know is safe. The problem with that is that the only one I know who is probably safe is you."

And that, dear reader, is what eventually led to Bev becoming my wife.

Barb, Mike and Ted? Barb moved in with Ted, and two months later Mike moved in with them. Two months after that something happened to cause Ted to beat the fuck out of Mike. He beat Mike so badly that Mike spent three days in the hospital. A week after Mike got out of the hospital, Ted answered a knock on his door and found Mike there with a gun in his hand. Mike fired five shots into Ted, who was dead when he hit the floor. The fifth shot missed Mike and hit Barb. Unfortunately for Mike, the man who lived in the next apartment was a cop and he happened to be off duty. He heard the shots, grabbed his gun, called 911 and hurried out into the hallway. Mike saw him come out of his apartment and turned toward the man.

Bad move on his part.

The cop saw Mike turning toward him with the gun still held in the position it was in when he shot Ted and the cop thought that Mike was turning to shoot him, so he put two in Mike's chest and one right between Mike's eyes. The cop checked Mike and Ted, and both were obviously dead. Barb was still alive, but died on the way to the hospital.

In a way, she is still with us. True, she had hurt us both, but she had been a big part of both of our lives. While we were pissed at her, we hadn't wanted to see her dead. In a move that surprised a lot of people, we named our first daughter Barbara.