All Comments on 'The TV Star'

this is loving wives, but the comments can be brutal

I always recommend authors let readers know what kind of LW tale they are going to get, some like cucks, some dont - ALL hate being told they are getting one kind of story to wind up with another

Get an editor, your brain will see what you meant to say while an objective observer will have a more jaundiced view as see things you cant or wont

As for this story, the narritve was rushed in a few areas, especially at the end - not too rushed, and that can be better than drawing it out to far, but on burns people like the pain to be drawn out so they can savor it longer

but I didnt see any glaring gramatical or spelling erros that knocked me out of the story

But, I looked at all of the available categories and none really fit. I would use cheating wife but that is not a choice. Before I wrote a word I had read many "Loving wives" stories any many didn't meet my expectation of a loving wife but maybe that author had the same dilemma as me, oh well.

I still hope you enjoyed the read and thanks for sharing.

fritz51

Yes this is definitely LW material, and yes we are a tough commentariat. :-)

For a wife to be so cruel, selfish, and immoral, reflects serious emotional and psychological dysfunction. Which begs the question, how could an in touch discerning husband not realize he was married to such a bitch, or that his wife had so seriously changed in character and values? It requires the marriage to have been very distant, tepid, and out of touch. Or, as indicated, the husband let the marriage deteriorate without confronting the wife until it was too late. Why would a man endure this level of contempt and disregard for so long before asserting his thoughts and observations?

It is a good plot and good characters. I just wish you had explored the wife's mental problems that led her to such betrayal and stupidity. She had to know fucking a coworker would get known eventually. And what was her response to her failed marriage and career? What did her life become after the fall?

So it was a good story, just not enough of it. That's a good thing, the audience wanting more. Thanks for the effort.

Your writing was better here than in your next two stories.

Again on dialog. You did better here than in the later stories by using a colon after the speaker, but that's still not the proper way to show the attribution of dialog.

As to category, yes, LW is tough, but it IS the proper place for a story about a cheating wife.

Just a side note on the whole BJ thing. While it is quite true that no one has to do something that she doesn't want to do, but there are a few other things going on here:

1) She never USED to object to giving him BJ's.

2) She doesn't mind giving OTHER guys BJ's!

3) He's taking care of HER satisfaction. Maybe he enjoys it, maybe he doesn't, but he does it, Fair play says that she should at least make an effort for him, or at least talk about it.

But hilarious. Enjoyed it. Keep writing

Touche, it was fun and I liked it a lot, I think the category is fine

... so I won't rehash those. This one does go on my list of tales where I want there to be more of the wife's side of the story.

I liked it but it finished too soon. Why no actual confrontation between them? Did she stay with her lover, was there any remorse? 4 stars

Needed a confrontation and her thoughts about how it all went wrong. Felt rushed at the end.

Shame, was enjoying it.

A good revenge story, but it is cut to short, it needs a couple more pages.

Gras is French for Fat (e.g. Fat Tuesday is Mardi Gras).

(Sorry, third time I saw it in Literotica.com/Loving Wives today. )

Very good first story. I accidentally hit 3 stars. Meant 5 stars!!!

Unnecessarily cut too short! Unfinished but a good story.

Pull it. Re-write in full to include in depth dialog. Needs history also.

Good story but spoilt by the random changes in tense! Seen this in several stories.

Would have been a 5 but the end with Sharon fucked it up....desperate man....clearly a character of a man who has cheated on a spouse....no different from hiswife

Good story but it seemed very rushed. Might have been better with a little more content between the major events but still avery good BTB story.

I enjoyed your story could have been fleshed out a little more

Would have been better with more conversation.

It read like a third party report.

You have written better ones

Whites and fame are an explosive mixture. Like most women she is a useless bag of skin. Without a man she is an empty cunt

3 stars - just a standard, by the numbers, BTB story.

Too short of an ending, incomplete story.

That was my first story... how about a little slack guys?

1st story? Better than I've read from a bunch of other -um- more established authors. Better writing, story concept. I've also read a few of your other outstanding works. Even if this wasn't your 1st, I'd still go with the 4 stars. Bob

Love your shit. Don't listen to the nay-sayers. The Bear approves. 5 stars. Keep on keeping on.

The BEAR

Autor, no tomes en cuenta al grupo de haters pene flácido lleno de inseguridad que critican

Sigue a tu gusto, sigue creativo.

I enjoyed this story. But it basically uncovers a cancer, that is eating away at our society. The Woman’s movement has went too far. Mother nature gave women estrogen, and men testosterone. This was do they would each be able to fill roles is society, and complement each other. However, in the quest to be “ equal” the woman’s movement has emasculated men. Go on tic tok, or reddit ( Am I ugly) and it is loaded with 18-25 year old women, who don’t understand why they can’t get a man to commit to a relationship or marriage. Women 40 of over, if divorced, have pretty much given up on getting married again. Back in 1945, because of ww2 there was a shortage of men around the world. Women understood that, and snatched one up as soon as possible, and married him. Today’s young man has been witness to a couple things. His uncles and maybe father, have been taken to the cleaners in a divorce. Even when the woman was the one cheating. The other thing is, men have pride, and an ego. It’s what allows them to work 40 plus years and damage their health, to support a family. Since it is been made abundantly clear to them that women don’t need them, they stop trying to make something out of themselves. Live in your parents basement, and just use women for sex. Yes ladies, the woman’s movement ruined things for you. Now, you can even go into the military, and be killed in combat. Your knight in shining armor, is no longer coming for you. You cut his dick off.....5 stars.

Sadly you failed to include the story of Claire's melt down. She truly evil and it would be gratifying to witness her destruction. The sexual stuff at the end was unnecessary and a major detracting from what was otherwise a good plot. Well, like you said, it's your story. That said your stories will just as well stay on your hard drive if readers won't view it.

My point is that you need to write tge best story you can then, if the material is not liked they can't say it wasn't well written.

To anonymous 19 days ago.

Thank you for a cogent, succinct an dead on analysis.

If I may let me add this. The number of men graduating from high school is accelerating. Currently 70% of male college students quir or flunk out. There is a truly dangerous, as in existential threat to this country's security, because men are not chosing to serve and many of the ones that do would not, even 5

.years ago, been acceptable due lack of academic abilty; the Navy had to lower their standards! Women, overwhelmingly, are totally incompetent to be in combat. Potted against male combat troopers they'll anialated in hours. Men will no longer join Law Enforcement. [San Francisco currently has around 509 officers; 10 years ago it was 1110.] Just who are the women going to call when the criminals know they face no opposition? And, increasingly, a slow but actual trend, men are refusing to help women in distress.

Next, because of the lack of higher education, degraded earning potential, women won't want to pair up. For women this men's there will never be a man for them that they find acceptable. These 18-25 year old female children have swallowed the progressive coolaid and with it, signed their own death warrant. There will be no families. What kids there are will become rapidly dysfunctional. My personal assessment is that this country will cease to exist in less than 20 years. I suspect Mexico may invade bur more likely it will be the Chinese.

So, if we are destroyed, tge Progressives and Feminists will be at the epicenter of our demise.

.

bring on sharon

4/5

I would give you a 5 if you included a final confirmation between Claire and Mark.

The end seemed rushed.

Yes, the rabid/toxic (read "toxic") portion of the feminist movement has kicked chivalrous feelings and actions into the grave never to be revived.

You're on your own ladies!