The Unspoken Society Pt. 07: Fifth Base

We took a long walk, did some weight work in the gym, and spent most of Saturday together. I knew Traci had a girls night planned for Saturday night, so I spent some time hanging out with my roommate and some other friends. I called her Sunday, but otherwise gave her some time to herself. I spend most of the day studying.

Monica met with me Monday for a run. As we were cooling down, she gave me a debrief.

"You went above and beyond with your girlfriend Friday. She went on and on about how good your cock felt in her tight little ass. She came hard every time. She also said that you unleashed a demon inside her. She gave you everything she had."

"It sure felt like it. She regressed to an animal."

"Justin, you took her to a version of subspace, and you did it without the usual trappings of a power play scenario. No restraints, no pain, no extreme situations. When you got her there, you kept going, stripped her down, and essentially deconstructed her."

"You did all this by your crazy evolved sense of empathy. You could feel her reactions, and you took her beyond what she knows herself. In other words, you were fucking with her mind more than her body. I know I told you to fuck with her mind, but I didn't realize how far you can go. When she came, and she was half-crying, that was a sign that she was confronting parts of her infantile self. She didn't know how to act. She doesn't have any experience. So her reactions were infantile also."

"Justin, I don't know how to say this, but don't deconstruct the club girls. Keep it like you did with Brianna or Sophia: sweet, caring, erotic, fun. Use your empathy to melt them down sexually, but don't fuck with their minds like you did with Traci. We don't have the mental health services to care for everyone here."

"Monica, is Traci okay? Did I hurt her?"

"Yes, she's okay. And it's not a question of hurt. Justin, subspace is an alternate state of mind driven by an extreme submissive dynamic. Among other things, it pushes someone to confront who they really are. They give up all control and must accept some intense truths about themselves. Traci had to confront the truth that deep, deep down, where she never goes herself, she is a dirty little butt slut, built to be used. It wasn't play acting. It's who she is. It is her purpose, at least sexually. So you wake up this aspect of her personality, and you bring it into the light. And she exults in expressing who she really is, but she doesn't know how to handle it. You performed some excellent aftercare, but your girlfriend is a bit traumatized. She knows you accept and cherish her, but does she accept and cherish herself? She's walking around a bit shell-shocked to find she carries this buried, mortifying aspect of herself. A sensible, confident, successful woman learns that deep inside, she is a dirty, slutty, vessel for pleasure. How does she reconcile that?"

"Samantha and I are going to spend some time with your girlfriend. She would come to terms with herself with your support, but we can make it faster. We're going to share some things about ourselves and how we integrated them into our personality. Justin, I learned some of these deep truths about myself in the dungeon. The trappings of the dungeon provide an environment where extreme situations are the norm. It gave me permission to be a dirty slut and drop into a subspace mentality. On the other hand, you took Traci to an extreme place in her own bedroom, with no dominance props or other signals. She can't tell herself a story that she was responding to a BDSM situation, even though that's what happened. We'll walk her through it."

"Justin, I'm not criticizing you. You have a power, and I'm telling you to use it wisely. Do you remember our first night together? It went way deeper than I intended. I became your wicked stepmother that night, and I had to confront that I ensnare people at an infantile level. And you just kept encouraging me to go deeper and deeper, feeling out my desires and bringing them to the surface. Remember us looking into each other's eyes? You saw way deep into mine, including some dark parts. I fell in love with you that night, Justin, and I certainly didn't intend that. I went in thinking I was going to get my rocks off and show you a great time after lusting for so long. Boy was I naive."

"So what do I do with you? There is kind of a club within the club. It's the people who respond at this psychological level and share deeply. They've learned to integrate what they find out about themselves. You could see it with Samantha. She is a dirty little butt slut, and she embraces it. And she definitely recognized the kindred spirit in your girlfriend. But you brought it to the surface. Traci has to get comfortable confronting these things about herself. When she does, watch out. She will be even more confident and desirable."

"I will probably steer you to some of these women who want that type of journey, but I need to think about how to mature you into your full powers. You have a native empathy that takes a smart woman's intelligence and plays it against herself. Your power needs some polishing so you know when to ease off for the night. I'm going to start with myself, because my pussy was dripping listening to your poor, innocent girlfriend tell her story of abject submission and sexual discovery. And now that you've started fucking with Traci's mind, don't you dare stop. She is hooked, baby. Your poor girlfriend wants more. Not all the time, but she definitely responds to being your submissive. You know what I'm talking about, right?"

"Yeah. Traci goes to the third person when she is getting submissive. She's either a little girl, or she acts like a friend to herself."

"She needs a way to distance her submissive side from the sensible, studious woman that she's known her entire life."

"When she's in the third person, she always calls herself a little slut."

"She's exploring that side of herself. She's trying to channel that so she can learn how to live with it. She's also giving you some major hints. What are you going to do with your submissive slut of a girlfriend?"

"I don't really know. I'm still learning how to deal with that. I do know I'll cherish her above all else."

"I'd expect nothing less from you, Justin, and of course you should cherish Traci. But you know me. I'm not going to let you disappoint your girlfriend. Of course good Doms cherish their subs. But they need to cherish them enough to give them what they really need. Traci has stepped out and told you what she wants. She wants to be your dirty little butt slut. She needs you to guide her through that and take what you want from her. She wants to be used for your pleasure. She already knows you will take care of her. Be a man, Justin. You've got a personal slut who will give you every dirty, twisted fantasy you've ever had. Have you ever seen Traci even hesitate to do anything you wanted? She's throwing down the gauntlet and waiting to see what you do with it. Damn, boyfriend, take advantage of that, and live up to her expectations."

I laughed. "Message received, Monica."

"And we've already discussed that Traci will be a superstar in the club. Yes, she is a submissive slut, but you know how it works. The sub always tells the Dom the broad outlines of what they want. The Dom gets to pick the details, but they are always in service of what the sub wants and needs. At a primal level, Traci understands this, and she knows how to work you into that dynamic. And she is going to be a fearsome Dom of her own, who completely understands her subs, who has her own empathy to get inside their head, and who has an intelligent, wicked, twisted mind to devise the exact scenario to bring that out. She's coming for us, Justin. You know that, right?"

"And she's going to want payback for the two of us corrupting her."

Monica laughed. "You're learning, boyfriend. Making a good girl face the fact that she's a dirty slut? And she's smart? The payback is going to be legendary."

We both laughed.

"I'm sorry this came off as a lecture, but I needed to talk to you and help you see what you unleashed in your girlfriend. I expect it will come up the next time you meet."

"Thanks for the warning, Monica."

She laughed. "It won't be that bad. Your girlfriend is so adorably grateful for how she lost her back door cherry. She loved it, Justin. You'll find out how much in time. Remember, she had a fantasy about this, and you brought it true in the most complete way possible. She was gushing about how it didn't hurt at all, but she felt totally impaled on your cock, ravished beyond imagination, and out of her mind with lust. She's a bit embarrassed by how crazy she got, but she wouldn't give the experience back for anything. Your girlfriend is never going back, Justin. Her poor, innocent, tight, little ass is yours anytime you want it. And if you don't ask for it enough, she will."

I laughed. "I guess I should count myself lucky for that offer. I'll work to take care of my girlfriend."

"Of course you will. A little extended aftercare is nothing to get a goddess like Traci squirming and moaning with your cock in her tush. And any other depraved fantasies you have in there."

Monica saw me off. I saw Traci the next afternoon for a walk.

"Hey, boyfriend. I heard that your mentor had a long discussion with you about me."

"She did. She's trying to make sure I measure up to my girlfriend."

Traci laughed. "Maybe measure down is a better way to put it."

I laughed also, but my heart wanted to say more.

"Traci, I apologize for going deep so fast, but I feel compelled to say this. You shared your authentic self. You trusted me to take you on a journey, but you also fully committed to the experience. You opened yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually. We both discovered things at a powerful level. If that is measuring down, I don't want to know what up is."

Traci stopped and looked at me. "Damn it, Justin, you make it so hard! You fuck my ass into next week, you torture my nipples so right, and you turn me into a fucking whore! And then you make it into some sort of spiritual experience."

"Whores don't enjoy it, Traci. And baby, you were enjoying it."

Traci threw a punch into my arm, and it hurt.

"Damn you! I know I enjoyed it, you fucking moron! And I'm mad at myself for getting mad. Aargh!"

I wisely shut my mouth this time. But something Monica said rang true. She's confronting parts of her infantile self. She doesn't know how to act.

"Why couldn't I have a normal boyfriend? Some nice dates. Some nice sex. Everyone is happy. But no, I have to get the deep, dark version. Incredible dates, incredible sex, and the dark side of confronting who I really am. I'm scared of that girl. Why couldn't she stay locked up in dreamland? She's a fucking mess."

"She's part of why I love you."

"So you want a whore for a mate? Someone you can order around?"

"Traci, does it feel like I'm ordering you around right now?"

That caught her up short. She got a sheepish look.

"I guess I have been leading this conversation, haven't I?"

I kept silent.

"I lead a lot of things, don't I?"

"Traci, we wouldn't be in a relationship if you didn't."

"You want everything, don't you? A leader, a follower, a partner."

"I do now. You've taught me that it's all possible. And yes, that same leader, follower, and partner keeps a dirty little girl hidden inside. So she's not a normal girlfriend. She's way beyond that. And when she embraces all those parts of herself, I'll have to work hard to measure up."

"What went on in your mind that afternoon?"

"When you told me to make you my bad girl, I short-circuited. You had always said good girl in our previous Daddy/little-girl role play, so this was different. So I pushed you to the dark side. I know you pretty well, and I can feel when things sync with you. So I used that knowledge to latch onto your dark side and blow it open. Baby, you were an open book. But it kept going. You went way deep, and I pushed deeper. You know what happened. Monica calls it subspace. You went to a different mentality where your inner dirty girl got a chance to break out of her prison. And she took full advantage. As we've both said to each other, I'm not afraid of who you are. And yes, at some level I want a depraved little slut that does anything I say. I've told you that before. So I was all in. I still am."

"The real question is how you are taking this. Monica says when you embrace all the aspects of your personality, that's when you discover your full powers. And you're a smart girl, Traci. You'll get there. And I'm going to have to work to keep up when you do."

Traci spoke up. "The good news is that you've got some time. I'm not yet embracing the dirty little butt slut that's apparently been locked up in my mind for years. That little bitch scares the hell out of me."

"I agree that she's not for polite company. At least not at full strength. But she's a part of why you sparkle, Traci. There's an echo of her in your playfulness and joy of living. I think that's what Monica is saying. And that's what's always attracted me to you."

"So what's your deep, dark secret, Justin? I've got the inner slut that apparently you can't live without. What do you have in there?"

"We'll have to work on that, Traci. In your case, you gave me lots of hints with the little girl role play. And we both like the poor, innocent girlfriend banter. What hints have I been giving you? What causes you to take charge?"

"You call me your goddess sometimes. And you have a bunch of kinky fantasies locked up in there. You like me to drag them out of you, or give you my blessing. Wait. You worship me, don't you? The mysterious feminine deity that you never truly understand. You just appreciate when she blesses you with her presence and her gifts."

I got quiet. Traci was hitting pretty close to home.

"Okay, boyfriend. We won't go further down that path today. The other path is what do I see in you? What makes you sparkle in my eyes?"

Traci started walking again, thinking out loud.

"Smart, successful, athletic, a gentleman, good in the sack. Those are the basics. But what's the spark? Dating you has been an adventure, and I love it. You have great ideas for dates and ways to get us in trouble. That's the socially acceptable echo of something darker. Hmmm. I know you're a kinky little thing."

She looked up and her eyes flashed.

"Deep down, you're a wicked little boy, aren't you? And you try to hide it, because you don't want to scare off the ladies with your depraved fantasies. But sometimes women can open you up and give you permission to let go. Baby, I adored seeing you with Brianna. Sure, you were a man who wanted to fuck a hot chick tied up for him, but I saw beyond that. You wanted to make her day in front of your girlfriend. You wanted to admit that you crushed on other girls, but you were scared of what I would do. You wanted to perform for everyone there, but you needed someone to make it okay. So I did, and you sent Brianna into orbit. You could have just fucked her, but you worshipped her. It wasn't just what you said to her. We could all feel it. And cute little crush Brianna felt it like a tidal wave. I fell deeper for you when I saw that. I realized you worshiped me all the time."

She waited for me to say something. I didn't know what to say. She saw that, and suddenly she smiled.

"It's okay, Justin. I love all of you too. I'll use these discoveries well. Although I must confess that I wanted some leverage over you after you released the wanton slut locked up in my psyche."

"Monica says you're going to make us pay for that."

"The vengeance of a goddess is terrible to behold, mortal."

"I know. Just be merciful."

Traci laughed. "I know it's petty, but I feel better knowing that you have some dark secrets I can hold over you. I'm not alone."

I put my arm around her and pulled her close. "You are definitely not alone. We are learning a lot about each other, fast. We've got Monica and Eric putting us on the accelerated track. Are things happening too fast?"

"No!" Traci surprised me with her conviction. "Justin, I didn't tell you the full story about our second date. You heard that I played with myself for a long while afterward. I didn't tell you what I fantasized about. In one of several masturbation positions, I was on my tummy with my hand between my legs—one of my favorites. And I fantasized you were deep in my ass. I came hard, baby. I resolved that I would get you to do that in real life. But you took it so slow. I'm not complaining—I loved how we've been discovering each other. Monica and the club have sped that up a bit, but I love the discoveries."

"Justin, you're going to have to put up with your mysterious goddess of a girlfriend. I know I can be hard to understand sometimes. I tell you I fantasized about you in my ass and then I punch you when you point out I enjoyed it. I'm discovering myself, Justin, and sometimes those discoveries are a little scary. And I take it out on the man who led me down the path. But don't stop being who you are. I know I play the studious girlfriend and the slutty little girl at the same time. You just have to deal with it and be a man about it. I don't think you're going to suffer too much."

I laughed. "Occasional sore arms are a small price to pay to get you writhing and moaning under me."

"Very funny. I think the price will be higher than a sore arm. I don't let go of my good girl side so easily."

"Whatever it is, it will be worth it."

"Damn straight, boyfriend."

We walked on. Traci had a smile on her face.

"And Justin?"

"Yes?"

"I remember everything you said that afternoon."

"Hmmm, noted." I had said a lot of crazy and kinky things. I was pretty sure this was Traci's way of saying she heard them and was open to them, but she wasn't saying so directly. Of course not. She needed me to have my dark lusts. She needed me to be a man about it.

"Noted?"

"Yes, Traci, noted. I'm glad you remember what I said to you."

Traci bumped her hips into mine and walked for a long time without a word. That was all the answer I was going to get. I got a painful erection in my pants. She's going to throw the gauntlet down, I remember my mentor predicting. I planned to use and abuse my girlfriend with some pretty depraved lusts. She was challenging me to follow through.

Yes, Traci kept me on my toes. She set a high bar, but boy, was she worth it.

*******

I wrote this story to explore what it might look like if such a club existed. Given the swinging lifestyle out there, I do think there's a set of college students who would thrive in this environment if given the chance. I think they would be self-confident, successful students who could see life at several layers, including fun, sexy, friends as well as a deep primary relationship where they cared enough to let go of possessiveness. How might a couple evolve in such a setting? How would their relationship change?

How did this story make you feel? What do you think? Please vote and leave a comment, either in the comments section or through feedback. I carefully read them all. They mean a lot and motivate more writing!