All Comments on 'The Unwanted Swap Ch. 02'

by Cagivagurl

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  • 410 Comments
Legio_Patria_NostraLegio_Patria_Nostraalmost 3 years ago

Exceptional storytelling! This story had more curves than a Bolivian Andes highway and more twice as many bumps and potholes! However, your fine writing negotiated them with ease. Moreover, your characters were eminently believable and definitely stayed 'in character'. Eddie was a bit of an intractable jerk, Rose was a hothead, Claire was a Gabor-sister clone and Tony was a Bond Villain on mood-altering drugs. In a word, they were HUMAN!

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Good fiction lives on conflict and how that conflict flows and creates the plotline! This work is demonstrably head-and-shoulders above the usual LW offering!

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Ignore the BTB Cabal and ANON Army, whose only expectation of "fine literature" is zero-tolerance of any human frailty. Keep writing JUST LIKE THIS!!!

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Thanks! 5/5+++++!!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Too much suspension needed, none of the character are believable.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

I couldn’t even read this after Rose was brought for a tour of the cottage. The guy is a total dumbass. He should have divorced Rose before buying the cottage. Rose really didn’t love and sure as hell didn’t respect him.

As for Claire, she is a meddling slut. He should have followed his first instinct and kept clear of her.

Only likable characters are the old farm couple.

PowersworderPowersworderalmost 3 years ago

The big problem with this story is that Claire caused just as much damage to Rose and Eddie's marriage, but never gets called out for it. When Eddie had concerns about Tony trying to seduce his wife, Claire was there every step of the way, constantly undermining him and filling Rose's head with bullshit about how incredible swinging was.

Claire's interference then led to Rose having an affair with Felix... which should have been the trigger for divorce, except Eddie seemed to be too spineless to end their farcical marriage. Then when Eddie started dating Claire, she forced him to come out on dates with Rose and all the men she tried to set her up with. The whole thing had a disgusting cuckie vibe to it.

The first chapter was okay, but this second one was a real anticlimax. Eddie should have just walked away from the old swinging slut, and his naive bitch of a wife. It should have ended with him settling down with a younger woman and starting a family without all the traumatic baggage in his toxic relationship with Rose.

Mac_LapuMac_Lapualmost 3 years ago

I think this, in my opinion, would have been a lovely story with a lot of emotional drama, some tragic twists within and yet a happy ending altogether. If only I had the patience to read all the pages, starting from chapter one where I finished only two pages and most of the last page. With this chapter I managed to read the first four pages then jumped to the last page. I can say that the author was very consistent, the sequel truly feels like the continuation of the first one. But with all that I do think this was well written.

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Still I wish I had the patience to read it. Edwin was flipflopping on his love to both women, but I do like his stance on a man's role to earn honest money not rely on other's goodness or charity. If only he didn't gravitate to Claire knowing how Claire was (let me whisper it...a CUM DUMP) the reconciliation would have been a bit less thornier and more easy with Rose who didn't have any physical sex with Tony. But Edwin let Claire in and finally his resolve just crumbled one day in the shower. THAT made things complicated (and made the story longer). At least at the end, Claire showed her true self (let me whisper it -- A CUM DUMP slut) who seemingly cheated on Edwin with someone else who resembled Tony, and happily Edwin and Rose got back together. I can't decide on giving this a 3 or grudging 4. Maybe one day I will read Chapters 1 and 2 all the way through the pages. Maybe.

GutsandgloryGutsandgloryalmost 3 years ago

Haven’t read this yet, but judging by the score he RAAC or ended up with Claire.

Once has lied constantly, the other one enabled and encouraged the behaviour.

Too bad, I was looking forward to the chapter 2 and putting the lot of them in their place.

kencorokencoroalmost 3 years ago

Nothing interesting. Just pages after pages of cuckold acceptance debate with those who are against never given a voice. This is like those over-artistic, melodramatic movies that tries to win Oscars but with very small viewers.

Then again, I'm just here casually. They should have put the story tags on the first page so I could avoid it.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

In the end, he was still manipulated by the women.

stev2244stev2244almost 3 years ago

Simply outstanding.

afanoffanlitafanoffanlitalmost 3 years ago

Why do I waste time on your stories?? ….I don’t know any men who are as stupid and completely inconsistent as you write them. It must be a cultural thing and the men in your environment as really conflicted beta-males. What a bullshit story….never again do I gamble on your stories.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Eddie is the biggest dick going - why would any woman want to be with him. It's crazy. It's all about him. Marriage is a partnership and he certainly doesn't know how to embrace that.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

This was a satisfying conclusion. I kept expecting to see a reveal that Rose and Tony had fucked, and am relieved that never happened.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

At the end of part 1 I was convinced I wouldn't want to read part 2 not liking the direction it appeared to be going. I did however read part 2, and I loved it. Ignore the naysayers.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

I agree with poster Powersworder. The second chapter was a real let down and missed the mark of power of chapter one. I found I was soon skipping many paragraphs hoping for some kind of comeuppance or resolution rather than the main male being wimpy and emasculated.

Chapter one 5. Chapter 2 🥴fail eeeecccchhhh😤

blackrandl1958blackrandl1958almost 3 years ago

Epic story, Cagivagurl. This is one of the best LW stories ever written and deserves a place at the top. This was a sick nasty conclusion to a great tale. Thank you very much for posting. As for all the attention-span challenged persons who left nasty trolly comments on the first chapter, yet came back for chapter two, and left nasty trolly comments, umm, what were you thinking? Oh... Randi.

MattblackUKMattblackUKalmost 3 years ago

Well worth the wait! It was an emotionally charged story. 5* story which ended up being a sort of screwball romance.

Glad Tony got run off!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

So..... damned long. Tried to finish it but just couldn't. Besides it was obvious where it was going to end up, even from part 1. RAAC is primarily a female fantasy. A particularly boring one too.

francemanfrancemanalmost 3 years ago

wow !! superb second part !! 5⭐

I loved. Well done.

In this part, there is a lot of love, respect, understanding, acceptance that was lacking in the first one.

You have been particularly successful with your two female characters, Claire and Rose.

Very endearing and loving.

In the end, you produced a very, very beautiful story that will be widely used.

Thanks for sharing your talent.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Bloody good story, cheers.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Good story, well written, but a contrived and cliche ending that a reader could see coming from early on. I have read many of your stories recently and it is the same issue good plot, solid writing but weak and often rushed endings. Improve that, and a we bit better editing and you will move up to one of the better authors on this site. Well done and respect.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

An interesting story, but what could have been told in one chapter of about 4 or 5 pages was dragged out to 23 pages. I will never understand writers who drag a story out with unneeded verbiage. Be more like Hemingway .. never use 2 words when 1 will do. Don't be like Tolstoy .. never using 1 word when it can be stretched out to 10. Getting through this was becoming work rather than pleasure, so I skimmed most of the middle.

dc6370dc6370almost 3 years ago

Excellent story! Powersworder and his allies are only happy with BTB stories. I think the story flowed just as it should have. This isn't a RAAC, it's a story about people making mistakes, then in time able to forgive and start over. Don't like it? Then write your own.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

This part also very well written.

With that said, I wasn’t a fan of the extended ménage a trois, but that was, I suppose a matter of personal preference or taste (although it was difficult to square with Eddie’s earlier views).

I was more disappointed by the ending. Eddie was still feeling his way back to a relationship with Rose. Pages and pages of uncertainly, pain and struggle, and the everything comes together for our hero in a flash: wealth, home, wife, dream job, restored friendship (and no more) with Claire? It was not clear to me that Rose ever fully recognized or acknowledge how serious were her emotional affair and disrespect. After all the careful treatment of his uncertainty and pain, he suddenly commits to Rose and children because … Gordy gets him drunk? That’s how he finally “gets over it? He needed a better reason after all his trauma and, as a reader, I did, too.

BarryJames1952BarryJames1952almost 3 years ago

Unlike anonymous assholes, I read and cherished every word before assigning 5 stars. Thank you for putting in the time required to craft this wonderful story. And don’t worry about small minded people who can’t stick to anything greater than a page long. This was perfect.

Huedogg2Huedogg2almost 3 years ago

Story of a WACC and 2 over used whores. I can tell it was written by a woman but it’s extremely well written. Gave it 4 even with all the manipulation that Claire and Rose perpetrated.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago
Outstanding

Outstanding, brilliant. Can't say more.

Engrossed from page 1 chapter 1. And that's from someone with a loathing to read beyond 4 pages normally.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Rose says Edie, I love you, I know that I have made some mistakes like force you into a swingers club but we all made mistakes!

Run Edie Runaway from Rose as fast as you can!

mordbrandmordbrandalmost 3 years ago

A typical Cavi tale. I'm not kidding, skim her other works and you will see that the characters in this match the majority of her others in the way they act. It's a well written story, but it is simply infuriating if you are a person who could never see yourself as the wishy-washy bitch that all of her male characters turn out to be. As such, and due to the raac, one star for this and ch 1.

DesusDesusalmost 3 years ago

This was a wonderful story from start to finish! Thank you for posting!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

This plot is much like the author's previous plots, and this denouement was telegraphed at the end of the first part. Why would an author think that it's plausible that all the fucking around in this part somehow changes everything. In real life Rose would not receive a "character" transplant, as she does in this part. She would still be in her core the loathsome, dishonest, manipulative bitch she was before. If the MC were written as a low IQ dolt who uses his dick for a compass, it might be plausible that he'd buy Rose's and Claire's bullshit, but that would be a very different story. As it is, he's written as reasonably thoughtful and intelligent, so it is simply absurd to think he's going to "jump out of the frying pan into the fire" by by staying with Rose and letting the lying slut gain massive power over him by allowing her to be the mother of HIS children.

The "day trading" trope is ridiculous. If you aren't part of an organization like Goldman Sachs, the only likely way to make money relating to day trading is to offer courses teaching people how to day trade. The markets now are heavily rigged, and if you aren't getting inside information, good luck.

As a story, this is far too Oprah-like, which accounts for it's unnecessary length, had a plot that was too predictable, and had characters whose behavior and development was implausibly inconsistent and unrealistic. This will score well because the prose flows nicely, but the plot is substandard.

McDingelMcDingelalmost 3 years ago

Thank you for writing a very captivating story. I am starting to enjoy reading your stories. 5 stars.

secretsalsecretsalalmost 3 years ago

It's quite depressing, really. Guy is involved with two women who seem to have only the faintest respect for him. They kowtow a bit when they go too far and he gets pissed, then it's back to trying to lead him around by the nose. Writing is clearly good, but the resolution seems quite ordinary, which meant I couldn't enjoy this as much as the first part.

lujon2019lujon2019almost 3 years ago

End of Ch1

pg 1

How does someone in an open relationship with permission to fuck who ever when ever cheat? why do you refuse to give any details?

/

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Pg2

"Actually, I quit. Did Claire not tell you? Once I found out what sort of man he really was, I could no longer work with him."

As I recall I told you thousands of times exactly what kind of man he was, also didnt you condemn me for months for giving up such a high paying job over ethical concernes?

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"Eddie, she still loves you."

loves him so much she fucks other men

/

Pg3

Rose was like a dog with a bone. "If you decide to live together, it makes sense it would be at your place, I mean it is a mansion."

So - the guy pissed enough to leave his wife over an emotional affair and lying is going to have a long term live in relationship with a women who had sex with hundreds of men over the course of her marriage? He is really that stupid?

/

She croaked in a barely audible whisper, "You did it to me."

No, she did that to him

/

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pg4

Tony, though, cut my heart out He lied, he cheated, he deceived me.

HOW? how does a man with permission to fuck whomever when ever while in an open marriage CHEAT?

/

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pg8

I (Claire) am not the sort of person to have an affair

says the women how fucked over 100 men while married to her husband

/

"Eddie, I never broke one single promise to you."

"Yeah, what about Felix the wonderful?"

"We were broken up. You ran off and left me, and you slept with other women; you told me so."

I'll have to re read ch1 but I dont recall that

/

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Such a shame, if he was going to wind up a cuck in the end, at least he could have wound up a filthy rich cuck with two cheating whores rather than just the one

JackallsJackallsalmost 3 years ago

I started at page 9. Although you write well, it is tooo predictable and way too looooooooooooong. That makes it boring.

SimepopSimepopalmost 3 years ago

Cavilagurl, this was actually a great I believe. Maybe belongs in Romance, but consistent throughout. Rose finally, I thought, got it, as to how she was disrespecting MC, n I could a reconciliation would work. Thanks, keep up the good work.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

A spectacularly conceived and brilliantly executed storyline.

Hiram325Hiram325almost 3 years ago

Really, a very good story, well told. Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago
Very good . . .

except for the threesome. Just not my thing, and I almost stopped reading. Glad I didn’t.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Incredible story. Especially coming from someone whose first story I read and swore I'd never read another. You've come a long way. 5* on both chapters.

I was struck by the irony of a reader that must have read all 80,000+ words and could only come up with "Absolute Trash." You have to wonder what kept him reading?

WhoGivesAShitWhoGivesAShitalmost 3 years ago

A fitting end. Fantastic writing.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Just a couple of things. 1 the ending seemed rushed. 2 the "overuse" of writhe/writhing.

Demosthenes384bcDemosthenes384bcalmost 3 years ago

Some of the readers are just idiots, plain and simple. I would have to agree with some general comments that your characterization of the kind of man Edwin represented early in the tale was contrary to his actions as the story progressed. I understood where you're leading us and why, but still could have been written differently without breaking the continuity. (Probably my biggest problem was Claire and Rose in a loving/romantic relationship while Claire was with Eddie.) All that said, you continue to set a high bar for quality writing in this genre and I wouldn't have you shave a single paragraph from the length of the tale. Extremely well done! 5*

DarthanDarthanalmost 3 years ago
Loved it

Great story loved it.

tizwickytizwickyalmost 3 years ago

I loved it 5 stars!

FireFox59FireFox59almost 3 years ago

Good Chapter 2 but it didn't have near the suspense, turmoil, and excitement as Chapter 1. Just sort of plugged along until the reconciliation.

Harryin VAHarryin VAalmost 3 years ago

9 PAGES OF SHIT AND CRAP....it speaks volumes that a moron like Legio_Patria_Nostra thinks this is a good story. That guy has a screw loose

As for the story itself is office specializes in developing and growing husbands and male character that or extremely Emotionally and Psychologically but also intellectually stupid..

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As others have pointed out Claire paid absolutely no price for her constant interference In the main character's marriage with rose. There are other problems with this story which absolutely ruin it. It's slow it's boring it's ridiculous

ThorlolThorlolalmost 3 years ago

Story was alright but certainly not 5 stars. You again did what you are doing in most of your other stories. The female cast completly ignores or disregards what the male cast is saying or is trying to imply that the emotion they are going through are not real or worthy of consideration. Everytime Eddi brought the subject of Rose and Tonys relationship up when he talked with Claire she always responded with "Edwin, Tony and I have a totally open and honest relationship. He told me that Rose was going with him. He doesn't have to lie to me. If he wanted to have sex with her, I would be fine with it. Whether you believe me or not is unimportant to me. I may be many things, but I am not a liar." This happend so manyyyy times and always it was about Claire not having a problem with it even though it was Eddi who actually would have a problem with it because he wasnt so hot about Rose cheating on him. That was a total disregard of his emotions and deflected the core problem. I was so very hopeful for this one to be better than the others but in the end it followed the pattern than your other stories. It would be really nice if you published someday a story where the female cast actually takes the male cast serious. For example, your other storys 'Jealousy' and 'Summer a marriage in trouble' for example follow the same pattern. To finish my little rant, you are a damn good writer and most of the time you capture the emotions very well in your storys but then the qualitiy takes a drop (in my opionion) when they become onesided and ignorant.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Absolutely loved this story! I usually don’t leave comments but had to commend story. Cagivagurl, you are a writer. I came away from this like I knew Eddie and Rose and especially Claire. Awesome job. You should be proud. Also well done dialogue.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Interesting story with some engaging , if unlikable, characters. He really was an indecisive ass. I was sorry about the reconciliation, Rose could have done so much better for herself than 're-marry' such an insecure idiot.

historyandherstoryhistoryandherstoryalmost 3 years ago

We absolutely loved it. Well written and absorbing. One of the best stories we have read on Literotica, more please. Five stars are too few but all we can give, so we have.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Shame it started of good but lost its way and ended being a story of basically nothing

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

It is a STORY written by a INDIVIDUAL who has all the RIGHTS to put down on paper,what he brings from his, obviously talented mind, to entertain us for NO FINANCIAL GAIN. Thank you for your excellent story!!

john_sixfooterjohn_sixfooteralmost 3 years ago
Excellent!

Everything was 5⭐️s.

That said, the ending was rushed, very rushed.

You foreshadowed the conclusion, repeatedly. Claire's character suffered. Rose looked overtly manipulative.

Not for nothing, the women were the most beautiful or sexiest? It gets tiresome...

Excellent story. Well written, well organized, well fleshed out characters. Well done!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Very real story written with enough style to keep a quality equal to published novels.

GamblnluckGamblnluckalmost 3 years ago

An excellent story. I read both chapters today. Each of the characters were very well developed. I did not like some of their actions and attitudes at times, but that is how any god story goes. 5 stars

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Randi....God's gift to LW in her own mind. One of the greatest stories ever in LW. Get real or are you have some sort of broke down?? This isn't in the top 100.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Nice story overall. I agree with a few comments about length and rushed ending. I felt early on some repetitive issues with his wife before it broke was a couple too many...then with Claire he is wary of the issue when overseas but it’s almost glossed over. As sensitive to the issues and holding back from Rose I felt he would be more compelled to be more responsive and agitated with Claire. That could have been explored. However, I also agree that missing that got the story to a conclusion that seemed targeted as this second part started,

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

As strong and captivating the first chapter was the second chapter was diametrically the opposite. Weak condescending manipulative. The poster child of RAAC

Dittybopper6989Dittybopper6989almost 3 years ago

Really enjoyed the first part but this lacked luster. Knew where it was going and wasted too many lines on the house. Got totally boring.

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xalmost 3 years ago

"Why didn't I take that opportunity? God knows I wanted to." - Because you're not a cheater.

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"Busy with work and everything," but she quit?

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Why are they glaring at him? He said nothing wrong.

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"If you decide to live together, it makes sense it would be at your place, I mean it is a mansion." - Why? Maybe Eddie likes his place, he built it the way he wanted it, why would he want to move into Tony's house?

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"You did it to me." - No, Rose, you did it to yourself.

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I don't like Eddie blaming himself. He didn't put them into this situation.

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"No, If this a penance, then we must both do it together." - Why? He's done nothing to do penance for.

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"I'm trying to be supportive, a good friend, but right at this moment, I can't." - Which is why she should stay away.

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"Eddie, this house is mine. I found it. It was me that did all the negotiating, I paid for it. This is the one fabulous thing that emerged from the disaster of my marriage. I love this house." - Eddie feels the same way about his house. How can they ever live together?

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"It's hard enough to get through one breakup, let alone two." - It's not a breakup if he's just leaving for a project.

/

"If it had been Rose out with him, I think I would have been angrier." - That doesn't make sense to me. Rose is his ex, Claire is girlfriend, he should be LESS angry if it was Rose.

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"Eddie, it's not fair putting me in the middle. I'm sorry, just talk to her." - Huh? She IS in the middle, literally!

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"Eddie, I feel a little disappointed that you would think that of me. I find it quite offensive, actually." - Given how Rose is acting, he's being quite reasonable.

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Heh, I was going to say the same thing that he did about Rose. SHE was the one that put the seed of worry into his head.

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I wouldn't stay friends with Claire. She starts a relationship with him, drags Rose into it, at a minimum wasn't COMPLETELY honest about Howard, I think Rose's attitude was testimony to that, then puts him on the spot while he's out of the country. On the plus side, he doesn't have to worry about which house now!

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It's his account, I don't understand why he should be locked out. It's not like he's going to make any changes, but he shouldn't be barred either. And while she was joking(?), what assurance does he have that she WON'T keep the money from him? Unlike a professional broker, there are no signed agreements between them.

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Excellent story, but I was personally rooting for him and Claire, or the threesome, certainly not taking Rose back. Maybe if she moved out, and they had a normal courtship, maybe then.

Hooked1957Hooked1957almost 3 years ago

Another fabulous read! Thanks for sharing. This story is your best work, in my opinion.

5 big stars.

Hooked

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Stoped reading when you put your gay stuff in .Your hate for men is so huge it shows in your stories how sad

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Your stories are the same story every time. Indecisive wimps of men ignored by, in your eyes, heroic women challenging life. No wonder Randi defends you. Her stories are basically the same every time as well.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

This is a very well written story about several immature, self-centered charactersThe repetitive melodram i expertly presented but becomes tedious by the time Eddie and Claire become a couple. The emergence of that relationship strains believability unless the story is actually set in Peyton Place.

xMulexMulealmost 3 years ago

First chapter was great, well written, building the tension between Rose and Eddie leading to...

anticlimactic 2nd chapter. I'm not against reconciliation but there seemed no compelling reason for them to get back together. And with the ménage à trois I wonder if Rose is over an open marriage. And has Eddie modified his stance?

dunmovynivdunmovynivalmost 3 years ago

The male hero can’t stand the thought of his wife with another man, but women are okay?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Ended the way I hoped it would. I loved this one and it was a roller-coaster of a ride.

HTW2HTW2almost 3 years ago
That’s it? Talk about ending with a whimper.

Needs more.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Very good enjoyable story with well developed if flawed characters.

As with most of your stories the females are more real and you obviously like them more than the males. Eddie as with most of your protagonists is an unlikeable wingy insecure narrow minded git that you don’t ever explain why the women are attracted to him.

The break up between Claire and Tony was never explained in Chapter 2. It did not fit with their open marriage in chapter 1.

jakie1jakie1almost 3 years ago

Thank You! A very well told and interesting story! Please keep up the good work, looking forward to your next one!

ScoratScoratalmost 3 years ago

Well THAT was a letdown. Page after page, back and forth. Eddie and Claire. Eddie an Rose. I’ll give you the money. No I will give you the money. Then the threesome and I am out of here. After a point who really cares if he picks Claire or Rose in the end? Or if he even goes to Abu Dhabi? Enough already. And threesomes have got to be the stupidest most boring plot development in porn. They are like an asshole. Everybody has one.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Looking at the scoring I am again reminded that in LW if you write fluent prose readers seem to miss the fact that the plot is absurd and filled with boring melodrama. This author should be able to do better.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Thanks for the effort. There was a lot of it.

I never did get why Rose went stupid, except that she married stupid. Why would you marry a person who travels that much unless you are in agreement with it? And how come Tony was fucking around all this time with any woman who was willing, but he supposedly never fucked Rose? If the dumb shit believes that then he should just skip the DNA test of Rose's children and suck it up; he gets what he deserves.

An OK story that under performs based on its length and complexity. Hope it was worth it.

Schwanze1Schwanze1almost 3 years ago

Good story but I’d have steered clear of both of them.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Much as I hate the whole forgiveness and give a cheater another chance to hurt you angle you write a story just too dam good to slam. 5/5 Don't have to like a story to appreciate brilliant writing.

laptopwriterlaptopwriteralmost 3 years ago

Wow! A rollercoaster of emotions and feelings. Love, hate, jealousy, suspicion. A true portrayal of life. We all deal with fear and indecision when it comes to love. When it comes to forgiving a loved one for hurting us, we can walk the fence without knowing ourselves, which way we will fall. In the end, all's well that ends well. 5 stars for an epic love story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Well done! The characters were well-developed, the turmoil realistic, and the tension/resolution satisfying.

PdgriggsPdgriggsalmost 3 years ago

Completely loved the story. Wonderfully written and presented. Am so very happy you posted the story in successive days. I lost it yesterday when part 1 ended. All good though, the whole story was fantastic. 5 Stars my friend.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Abundances Hypocrisy from Eddie . He wanted Rose to be pure for him but he poked Claire regularly. Just cannot reconciled that the writer created Eddie as upright and proper in the first part of the story yet become an adulterer with Claire, another man's wife. Well written though.

iameaseliameaselalmost 3 years ago

gain very well written, still kind of dragged along at times.

I do agree with Thorlol. Work around those actual issues and you'd be one of the best in many respects.

WetheNorthWetheNorthalmost 3 years ago
Eddie was an idiot

I do not like stories about idiots.

Still you got 4 stars

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

I have read many stories here, and I would have to say this has been my favorite one. I been reading some of the comments others have made, and I find it funny how very differently, humans think. Honestly great story! 5/5

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

I've read most of your stories and I really liked this one. The first part was very good, this second part not bad, but more formulaic and anticlimactic. Not one character grew or learned anything from part 1, and that's disappointing.

Rose shoved her husband aside and spent all her time and attention on a guy her husband thought was slimy. She didn't care what her husband thought, constantly belittling his opinions, denied there was a problem (except with Eddie's opinions), and ceaselessly sought permission to sleep with Tony. It apparently didn't register with her that spending all your time with a man she idolized could be a problem.

Claire also denied there was a problem, whined about Eddie's stubbornness against opening his marriage so Rose could sleep with Tony, whined about Eddie not taking a job with Tony's friends (friends that also wanted to sleep with his wife), and blamed Eddie for the problems with his marriage and for making Rose unhappy. It was a constant full-court press to try and make Eddie give permission for his wife to sleep around. I never figured out why.

In part 2, Claire, learning nothing from what Rose did, spent all her free time with a handsome man she idolized, eventually breaking it off with Eddie.

Rose, in part 2, still has no respect for her husband, although claiming she really wants to get back together. She calls him stupid, an idiot, and a dummy. Sorry, but words have meaning and the way she expresses displeasure when Eddie doesn't agree with her plans, proves she considers herself superior. You don't talk that way to someone you're trying to impress, certainly not to someone you love.

In a story like this, the author spent time detailing the problems in Eddie's marriage, and all those problems - ALL of them - stemmed from Rose's sexual and emotional infatuation with another man. As far as I can tell, Eddie's only problem - and it's a BIG problem - is his inability to stand up for himself. He's led by the nose by every female in this story, against his will, they make him do what they want until he's finally had enough and puts his foot down.

By then, of course, it's always too late. Too much anger has been generated, too much resentment is present in everyone concerned. Eddie proved to be correct; Tony was indeed slimy, but the women neither apologized or changed the way they treated Eddie.

The author, in building a case against the wife, now has to redeem her to us, the readers. It's not an easy task, after spending so much showing the wife's faults, to reverse the opinion of everyone reading the story. And in this story, my opinion of Rose never changed. She never changed. She's still selfish and talks down to her husband, so I have no use for the reconciliation.

Although a gifted writer, this author writes the husbands as fairly spineless. Women dump on him, push him around, continually making him do things against his will, but he keeps coming back for more. The men are similar in practically every story I've read penned by this author. There aren't any "take charge" men in her stories, unless it's a bad guy tormenting the husband.

I congratulate Cagivagurl for a well-written and intriguing Part 1. Part 2 fell short, but was still entertaining. The ending was well telegraphed so no surprises there. It was disappointing to see Eddie go back to a woman who tolerates him, rather than finding a woman who truly loves him and will fight for him and their marriage.

Still a good story. I wasn't really looking for a BTB, I just wanted to see Eddie find someone who would proven correct, shame brought upon those who treated him so badly, and he'd find a woman that treats him as an equal. I hope Cagivagurl matures in her writing. It would be very exciting to see main characters that are strong.

A four seems too low, so I'm giving you 5 stars on this... but just barely. LOL.

WargamerWargameralmost 3 years ago

Eddie is a thick head, a total loser in many ways.

That said he ended up back with Rose, he was always going to.

First thing he has to do, is to stop the sexual relationship between His wife and Clair. No more sharing, he is her love, she is his. If they want to survive they have to be exclusive to each other. It is a must. You never mentioned that Rose and Clair had stopped sleeping together. I can only assume they are still having a loving relationship, more than friends.

If so it must stop, otherwise they will eventually split up.

What a shame you never told us what happened the girls sexual relationship. We needed to know to find closure in the story. Because of that 4/5

WestcamWestcamalmost 3 years ago

What a beautifully crafted story. While the eventual outcome was almost predictable, the journey still left enough doubt to make it a thoroughly entertaining read. Thank you!

lovemesomephillylovemesomephillyalmost 3 years ago

Funny in the first "chapter" I didn't like Rose and Claire. In this one I didn't like Eddie, one bit. Story dragged as well. Wasn't bad, wasn't great.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Way too long but that's expected from this author. I swear I was going to shoot myself if I read the line about one of the women giving him the money to finish his house. That repeated about 50 times. In the end the women got everything they wanted. Rose got to screw around with other men, have a lesbian relationship with Claire and a three way with Claire and Eddie and move into Eddie's house and finish it the way she wanted to. AND she stayed married. Claire got to continue shagging other people (men and women), dumped Tony when she got tired of sharing him (did you really expect us to believe she doesn't know what kind of man Tony was???) and she finally got to enjoy shagging Eddie like she wanted to in the very beginning. I give her high scores for being the master manipulator of them all. Poor Eddie just got drug along for the ride, always complaining but always giving in to the women. I really wanted to like this tome but by the end all of them had turned into pathetic whiny characters that only a mother could love. And England once ruled the seas....... Small wonder that they needed the Americans to save their asses in the war. UGH!

BuckeyebobBuckeyebobalmost 3 years ago
An excellent story

Well written. Great characters well developed. So happy you wrote this.

vhasstvhasstalmost 3 years ago

Part 2 not so much drops a stich but pulls the entire hem out and rips the fabric. Part 1 created such interesting characters, part two confounds those characters and badly injured their credibility. It feels rushed, ill considered and even struggles to be average. A lot of ground is skipped seemingly just in the interest of getting it finished. Rose had a sexual relationship with a third party, no mention of STD tests before two people jump in bed with her. Claire, a betrayed woman, pushed Eddie to go on his work trip, then starts (at least) an emotional affair with someone she has direct influence over their further employment and only then thinks of giving Eddie what amounts to an ultimatum which could only ever have one outcome.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

I love how these dip shits who have not written a story can criticize and call it an author on a fictional character that doesn't exist. The author owns the story and I'm sure does not need advise on how the story should go..I give this a 5 because the author did give us a well written story with the characters feelings very pointed...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

It seems to me Cagivagurl mostly writes stories where the man is weak or gets fucked over. I gave Chpt1 a 5*. It may have been somewhat repetitive with the back and forth arguments but it was entertaining.

Chpt2 was too long with nothing of new substance. And then throwing in the betrayal of Claire with Howard made this story a 1* in my opinion. It became a normal fuck over the man Cagivagurl story.

patilliepatilliealmost 3 years ago

sorry to say this lost my interest in this installment. Just ground on without the drama or intrigue of the first installment. Once the threesome was established, a lot of wind was taken out of the sails of the story. I didnt finish the last 3 pages, just skimmed them, to see the inevitable result.

mattenwmattenwalmost 3 years ago

Ha ha ha, 23 pages for a cheap cuckold story? You can turn it around as you want, in the end it’s just a cheap cuckold story.

mattenwmattenwalmost 3 years ago

Another one for the worthy "Legio_Patria_Nostra". Dear co-user of Lit. It is a very special need for me to tell you how much I value your contributions. Just a little note to help you understand. I'm here to read good sex stories. The funnier the plot and the more confused, the better. I am by no means interested in whether grammar, punctuation or spelling is always correct. For me, the content is more important. If an author publishes here to improve himself as an author or to make a name for himself, I think he is in the wrong place. There are starter forums on the net that are only there for that. And in order as a reader, completely suggestive, to decide whether I like something or not, I don't need a study of literature, just my personal taste is enough. All other stupid sayings about learning to be an author and getting better are what they express: stupid talk! Or are you interested in whether a porn actress expresses her aaaahhh or oooohhhh I am coming more melodic or not?

However, if you feel like a sponsor of new authors, I would make it public in your place so that we know when the "boss" speaks and when only the normal reader "Legio_Patria_Nostra" speaks!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Brilliant achievement. I didn't like Eddie very much in chapter 1, though I sympathised with his predicament. He grows -- or at least he grows on me. Two questions: (1) Does Eddie realize the irony after the threesome, when Claire reads him a lesson on the possibility of loving a person and having sex with someone else? (2) Are Rose and Claire still intimate at the end of the story?

Thanks for an excellent tale!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

It is impossible to believe that Tony didn't fuck Rose during the tour...

KalimaxosKalimaxosalmost 3 years ago
It got old

It's dragging out and I'm tired of his fake moralizing. he is so typical of guys who will fuck other women, but get upset if their wife even thinks about it.

I would finish it if it was not long and drawn out. A lot of it is repetitive.

BaggyUKBaggyUKalmost 3 years ago

Laptopwriter said it all really. The volume and mix of emotions in the comments means you're taken really seriously here, deservedly so. Thank you 5*....oops...ta very much!

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