The Unwelcome Wedding Guest

"Why yes, yes I would," Randy confessed. "I like a woman who is open about that sort of thing, since everyone assumes men do it every day."

"Well, you do, don't you?" Audra teased.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Randy chuckled. "Now it's my turn to say it!"

"Why yes, I would too." Audra knew she had him hooked now. "I do need to know if you can keep up with me, after all."

"Want to find out?"

"Maybe on the next call," Audra said. "I mean, this is only our first call. But I'll tell you what, my roommate's wedding is in just a few weeks, and I do need a date..."

"I'd be honored."

"I didn't say I'd take you yet! But I'm considering it. I've liked this conversation. Of course, we should probably meet in person first."

"Not just yet, though."

"Who are you to say that?" Audra demanded.

"I'm the guy who's pretty sure you'd have said it if I didn't say it first," Randy laughed.

"I would have, but that's my prerogative as a woman!"

"You're funny, Audra. I like that."

"I'm not joking," Audra said. "But thanks. Shall we call it a night?"

"Is it too soon if I call you Tuesday?"

"Perfect, Randy. Call me Tuesday. Good night."

"Night!"

Audra tossed the phone aside and pulled her shorts and panties off. Notwithstanding the sour turn the call had taken at the end, she was still wet and dying to do something about it. Before reaching for her vibrator, she lay back down and resumed rubbing her freshly waxed vulva with her left hand. Once again she tried to imagine it was Randy's fingers instead of her own, but once again it was Nick she envisioned lying beside her, smiling adoringly at her, caressing her womanhood at last. Just as she'd fantasized so many times way back when.

Was he looking above or below? Audra guessed below, and she guessed Janice was like Betty, letting her snatch grow wild. If only Nick could see her now instead!

Maybe, after she and Randy stole the show at the wedding, he would.

With that settled, Audra was free to imagine Nick's gentle hands all over her body, the shy grin that had melted her heart all those years ago once again gazing upon her, drinking in his admiration for her body as he caressed it...

Audra knew just the spot under the bed, and in one graceful reach below she had her vibrator at the ready and just as turned on as she was. She knew just the spot, of course, and she laughed as she wondered how Janice or especially Betty could hope to find their own with all that hair, never mind Rob or Nick finding it! Nick would have no trouble finding hers, and she would let him know in no uncertain terms, she realized as a delicious involuntary moan escaped with her first long, luscious rub with the toy.

Was it Nick's fingers? His mouth? His dick? All three in turn! Audra rubbed harder and closed her eyes tightly, and there he was kissing her all over her breasts and neck as she wriggled in joy at his every stroke down below, which grew in intensity as she rubbed harder and faster.

"Onnnhhhhhhhhhgodddddd!" Audra came so hard she was terrified for a moment that she must have been heard outside the open window. Just as quickly she decided she didn't care, it was worth it, and she didn't even turn the vibrator off as it lay buzzing beside her. She took a long minute to savor the pleasure even as it receded and the room came back into focus, before turning it off. Only then, in the silence that finally prevailed in her room, did she realize Betty or Janice was home. Obviously not both, since no one was taking, but there was definitely sound out in the kitchen or the living room, some inarticulate yet certain proof that someone was out there.

Whichever of them it was, she must have heard her orgasm, Audra realized. Her own fault for not turning the radio on like she usually did, but there was nothing she could do about it now. She reminded herself not to be ashamed, it wasn't like they weren't both having plenty of sex these days. Audra even supposed she ought to let Janice enjoy it while it lasted.

But she was glad she had no reason to leave the room for the moment!

Come Tuesday evening, Randy was fashionably late with his call and Audra wasn't happy about it. "Don't guys know only we're allowed to lie about if we'll call?" she asked no one in particular as she returned from the kitchen with a second glass of chardonnay.

Janice laughed from the corner, where she was surrounded by piles of winter clothes that she was in the process of folding and putting in a box.

"I'm not joking!" Audra whined, flopping back down on the couch.

"I know you're not," Janice said. "That's what's so funny."

"Yeah, right. Why are you bothering with your winter clothes in the middle of summer anyway? Haven't you got someplace to go with Nick?"

"On a weeknight? We both work early, Audj, you know that."

"There must be something better to do than clean out your closet, though."

"There is, but then I'd have to clean out the closet later, wouldn't I?"

"I don't see why," Audra said. "It's not like anyone else is going to see it. Wait a minute, you're making room for Nick to move in, aren't you? That's why you're cleaning everything up in there?"

"No, I'm not," Janice said. "Actually, he's taking over Rob's apartment when he and Betty get their own place, and I'll probably be staying there quite a bit, but I'm not moving in with him. It's only been a few weeks, you know!"

"Sure feels longer than that, you've been bringing him over here," Audra grumbled. "And speaking of which, we need to talk about that. Once Betty moves out, we need to talk about ground rules in here. Starting with when we can and can't have boyfriends over."

"Whatever you want, Audra," Janice said, not looking up from the sweater she was folding.

"I doubt if you'll say that when you hear my whole list," Audra said. "But first, we've also got to talk about a new roommate. I don't want you letting anyone else move in without me giving the OK first, understood?"

"I won't invite anyone without your permission."

"I should hope not, Jan. I know we're too busy worrying about the wedding now, but once that's out of the way I want --"

At last, Audra's phone rang.

"Saved by the bell!" Audra proclaimed, standing up and grabbing up the phone. "Hello?"

"You got that right," Janice muttered under her breath as Audra picked up her wine glass in her other hand and shuffled off to her bedroom.

This time, Audra did remember to turn her radio on. She also locked her door and took her shorts and panties off, just in case the conversation turned hot. It didn't, but Randy's buttery voice soon had her in a mood to play again just the same. Once again she also found herself imagining it was Nick, but knowing she could settle for Randy, at least as far as the wedding was concerned. She just hoped the poor guy didn't fall too hard for her, but she could worry about that after knocking everyone dead at the wedding.

Randy was answering some routine question she'd tossed off about his family background when Audra heard the outside door shut. It was either Betty coming home or Janice leaving, and judging from the blissful quiet out in the living room, she guessed it must be the latter. "Thank God." She caught herself a moment too late, having said it out loud.

"Thank God for what?" Randy asked.

"My roommate just left. For the whole night, I hope. But at least I'm on my own for the moment."

"Ah, wonderful," Randy said. "So now you're free to prance around the apartment naked and tell me all about it."

"Dream on!" Audra laughed. But she did take the opportunity to go to town on her clit with her free hand. If only Randy knew!

Jeremy was on the phone when Janice arrived at his door with her boxes. Opening the door, he waved hello and gestured her in. Janice had only been able to squirrel away so much in her car without Audra noticing, but it was enough for a few trips up and down the stairs. When she'd completed the last trip, Jeremy was still on the phone. Janice gave some thought to unpacking the boxes, but none of it was anything she would need anytime soon.

She had just about decided to wave goodbye without a word to Jeremy when she finally overheard him saying, "Well, good night, then. Yes, of course we can. See you then."

Janice lingered just inside the door, hearing Jeremy's footsteps in the hallway. "Hot date?" she teased.

"I'm taken, you know that!" Jeremy snickered. Then he gave her a sympathetic look. "You know, if you want ro start sleeping here..."

"That's tempting!" Janice said. "Thanks. But I don't want Audra to be suspicious."

"You think she is?"

"No. Just tonight she started lecturing me about not looking for a new roommate until she says so. Careful what you wish for, huh?"

"Can't wait to hear how she reacts. Everyone's fault but her own, no doubt."

"And her mother's."

"God, her mother sounds like a real piece of work!" Jeremy laughed.

"Oh, but there is good news from Audra," Janice said. "She thinks she's found a guy she might let take her to the wedding."

"Might," Jeremy repeated.

"That's right, might." Now they were both laughing. "I don't know about you, but I can't wait to meet this guy!"

"If she lets him take her, you mean."

"It'd be a real shame if she didn't, wouldn't it?"

"I don't suppose she's had any doubts about what he wants?" Jeremy asked.

"There's no way that's even occurred to her!" Janice acknowledged.

The weekend before the wedding kicked off with Audra announcing she was getting her hair done. "I'm meeting my mother for a late lunch after that, so I'll be gone most of the day," she told Betty and Janice over breakfast. "But I'm going to ask that you don't have Rob and Nick over, all right? I apologized, but it still wasn't very comfortable for me."

"Well, you know how much they both love you, don't you?" Betty pointed out. "But yeah, we'll see if we can hold them back from invading your space."

"Did I mention I'll miss your sarcasm?" Audra asked without looking up from her phone.

"Nope."

"Exactly." She set the phone down and got up. "Oh, by the way, I've decided to let Randy take me to the wedding."

"Have you met him in person yet?" Janice couldn't resist.

"I'm meeting him for dinner on Wednesday. Just in case it turns out that picture wasn't really him, or in case he's put on a lot of weight since it was taken, or something."

"That's only three days to the wedding," Betty reminded her.

"So I'll go stag," Audra said with a shrug. "Trust me, with my dress, I won't be hurting for dance partners."

Betty and Janice exchanged a wordless look that was half exasperation and half bemusement.

As soon as the door had shut behind Audra, Janice said, "You think the guys would be willing to help move my furniture?"

"Can we even rent a truck on such short notice?" Betty asked.

"You call Rob, I'll call U-Haul," Janice said.

Hours later, Jeremy and his boyfriend, Sean, served a round of iced tea to the four of them after they'd deposited Janice's bureau, desk and bed frame in her new room. "Aren't you worried about Audra noticing your room is empty?" Sean asked.

"Already thought of that," Janice said. "I've been closing my door all the time for a few weeks now, even when I'm home."

"We both have," Betty added. "I'm pretty sure she went snooping in my room, that's how she found out where I was getting my wedding dress."

"Wait a minute," Jeremy said. "She knows you are getting a dress?"

"Well, she knows I shopped for one," Betty said with a knowing twinkle in her eye.

"Yeah, we know that's a weak point in the plan," Janice admitted. "But Nick and Rob's sister is going to help with that."

"I really ought to thank her for that," Betty said for what felt like the hundredth time.

"She'll probably be at our brunch tomorrow," Rob said. "By the way, Jeremy, Sean, if you'd like to come to that?"

"Thanks, but we've got a hot date," Jeremy said rather grandly, taking Sean's hand in his. "A real one," he added in a deadpan tone that made them all laugh.

Audra didn't care for the Wheaton Ladies' Club, the last all-female club in town. She was often quite sure she was the only person under 50 in the chintz-lined room, which always felt like a step back in time to some indeterminate year long before she was born, or maybe even before her mother was born. But she certainly couldn't complain about the pull Mom had there. As Audra breezed into the feminine sanctuary fresh from the hairdresser, she didn't even have to ask the maître d' (who greeted her by name as usual). Of course Mom had staked her claim to their table by the French windows overlooking the croquet field, and of course the other ladies had let her have it.

There she was, regal as ever in her lavender Chanel suit, her graying hair looking just as freshly sculpted as Audra's own and the first two glasses of champagne bubbling enticingly on the spotless tablecloth. "Air kisses only, dear," she said with a crisp smile as Audra approached. "I've got an event at three o'clock and I don't want to have to redo my makeup. And you ought to retire that skirt, you know."

"I'd like to retire all my skirts." Audra saw no point in reminding her mother what a tomboy she'd always been. "But then where would we lunch?"

"Not here," Mom admitted after a dainty sip of the bubbles. "But there's your trouble, dear. Do you think you'd be in this spot of yours if you dressed with more style?"

"I'm not in any spot," Audra proclaimed. "This Randy guy I told you about is going to help me make my entrance at the wedding, and when Nick sees me..."

"Audra, dear, you ought to grow up! Don't you remember the trouble Nick got you in back in high school?"

"No one will let me forget it lately. I've told them all my side of the story, too, and I even apologized to Nick. But look, Mom, if you had a failure like that in your past -"

"I wouldn't have one in the first place," her mother interrupted. "You know why? I'd have played my cards right! I'd have seen to it that the boys beat Nick up somewhere else, so my fingerprints wouldn't be all over the scene! Then I'd have made my Florence Nightingale entrance and he'd have seen me as a hero, and I'd have him eating out of my hand forever after." She paused for a longer sip and went on. "Of course, that utterly strange family of his...it's no wonder. I don't know what you see in him, Audra."

"Neither do I, really," Audra admitted. "But look, I've been talking to Randy on the phone and exchanging messages with him before that, and really trying to work up some feelings for him, but every time I do I end up thinking of Nick. He was such a sweet kid even back when boys were icky, and he's grown up so well! And you never forget your first crush."

"I certainly don't remember mine," Mom said. "But I've been playing this game a lot longer than you have. Oh, don't look at me like that, dear. I criticize because I love you, Audra, and I want you to learn to control the men in your life as well as I do. Frankly, you've still got a lot of work to do in that department. Now tell me, this Randy fellow?"

"He's cute, or at least the one picture of him I've seen is. Almost too cute to be straight, really."

"But your heart is set on Nick. Or at least on wresting him away from that fat slob Janice."

"Right, I guess," Audra said sadly. "I mean, I don't want to hurt Janice, as long as we're still living together..."

"Do you want that arrangement to continue? I think you'd be better off without her, dear."

"Yeah, but I already need to find one new roommate. Forget about finding two at once in this market!"

"That would be a nightmare," Mom conceded. "But can you even imagine the atmosphere at home once you've won Nick over?"

"She doesn't need to know, Mom."

For once, Audra impressed her mother. "My, I taught you better than I thought I did." She sighed and picked up her glass again. "Well, Audra, I don't see what you want with that silly boy. But yes, it sounds like you've got a pretty good plan. So you'll make a splash at the wedding with beautiful Randy and that will convince Nick to forgive you and fall for you. I like it! But we're talking the grandmother of all upstage-the-bride dresses. Luckily, I've got just the number. Let's go by my place before that event."

"I do feel bad about using Randy. I mean, I don't feel anything for him, but he does seem like a really nice guy."

"Don't ever feel guilty for a man, Audra. You know what they think with, and it doesn't sound like you want his anywhere near you even if you didn't ditch him."

"Yeah, you're right. As usual."

"Yes, dear, I am.

That night found Betty staying at Rob's apartment again. "Just how late before the wedding can we go where I can still see you?" he asked as they retired to the bedroom after watching a movie on TV.

"Ever!" Betty lit a stick of incense on his dresser and turned the lights off, while Rob pulled the curtains back to let in the moonlight. "I looked it up. That comes from the days of arranged marriages, when you'd literally never meet your husband before the wedding."

"Gross," Rob said. "You sure you want any part in a tradition like that?"

"No, I'm not," Betty admitted through the cloth of her shirt as she pulled it off. "But I could get used to a tradition of what you did at the lake." She turned her back and waited for Rob to unhook her bra.

"As could I," Rob said, and dutifully he set her breasts free. "Speaking of which, I hope Nick and I didn't overstep any bounds, you know?"

"Has Janice complained about that?" Betty asked. "She hasn't said anything to me about that day, and I loved it." She pushed her shorts and panties down, and stepped boldly into the glow of the open window as if inviting some lucky guy in the street to have a look.

"No, or at least she hasn't told me anything," Rob said. Also nude by then, he slid his arms around her from behind and cupped her breasts in his hands to her joy. "Neither has Nick, but I saw the way he looked at your bush. I think he really wanted to touch it."

"All he had to do was ask," Betty said between appreciative sighs as he rubbed her nipples to a wonderful distraction. "I mean, if you didn't mind, neither did I, just that once anyway."

"It's your pussy, dear." He chuckled, and Betty began to wish he would move at least one hand downward, for the talk of playing with it had her wanting just that rather badly. But for the moment he kept his hands on her breasts. "I love that you're that open to sharing, though, after what you told us about being..."

"Ashamed of myself for being hairy?"

"I didn't want to say it, but yeah."

"Thanks, but it's true," Betty said. "I guess that's why I've gone to the other extreme, you know? Now that I've learned to love my body, I kind of like showing it off."

"Kind of?" Rob laughed. "Here we are naked in the window!"

"Yes, and I think you like it just as much as I do!" She turned sideways and pulled Rob around as well, so now they were both in profile in the moonlight. "You and your nudist family, I mean!"

"Yes, and welcome to the family!"

At last Rob did reach down, and Betty enjoyed a delicious jolt at his first caresses on her vulva. "Ohhhhh..." She squeezed his arm with one hand and his penis with the other, and felt her hunger growing by the second as he ran his fingers through her bush. To think she'd ever found that something to be ashamed of! But all that seemed like ancient history as she felt his two fingers pushing gently inside her. She threw her head back and was once again amazed at the involuntary noises she was capable of making at a moment like this. "Oh, give it to me, Rob!"