All Comments on 'The Warlock Pt. 04'

Great storyline, but there isn't much substance here. You tell us things, like 'she changed her armor into the sexiest lingerie', but you don't show us. You told us the su cubes has Top Warlock Level capabilities, but you didn't explain why he could just see this. We don't really get any imagery from you telling us, and it detracts from your writing. Besides that, you have a great story, and I hope you keep writing.

so in short time , welcome to the revolution ...

Good story but,the chapters are way too short.We'll be here forever reading this story.Is there a reason for posting in bits and pieces?

Thank you for sharing

Silly fun with a powerful, yet feckless hero.

I'm convinced.

Would prefer it to be a bit longer. This ended just as I was settling in.

I also think that each character is well thought out and distinct. Well done.

Man finding good stories is hard but finding good stories that have a badasss character and are just enough funny is a pain in the ass so by my book this story is fucking awesome keep up the good work

First thanks for reading. I really enjoy this character and writing him is a blast. Feel free to comment, I read them all.

As for the length. I have the story plotted out and in my head there are scenes that link together to tell the story. I write out a scene, attempt to edit and proofread, then post. I can wait until I have two or three scenes written to make each entry longer however it would be longer between posts.I would hate to get distracted and then go two or three months without posting. Especially since my real world job can get hectic really quick. Also I am trying to figure out how Literotica posts these stories since part two was up barely 24 hours after I submitted but part four took almost 4 full days.

I am not sure if this makes sense or not. Just throwing out my reason for the length. I will try to get a bit more meat per post.

Again, thanks for reading, commenting and voting.

Ahaz

Am enjoying story very much.

Great story and u r updating regularly wat more do we need. Thanks a lot

Question, do you use a word document?

How long is 1 lit page compared to word?

JC

I write in google docs and download the .dicx format, 8 pages of .docx is one page on literotica. not sure if that helps or not but that seems to be how it works for me

-ahaz

Aside from just a few small inaccurate representations of magical classifications. It shouldn't be called the "Mage's Circle" if warlocks are part of it. The word "mage" comes from Magi (Latin plural of magus) which is like the Middle Eastern word for "wizard." The three "wise men" in the bible that when to visit Jesus when he was born were called "magi." The word "wizard" comes from the word "wysard" which means "wise one." So yeah they are basically the same thing. Both very different from a warlock, and use a very different kind of "magic" from a warlock. Again very different, they don't use the same kind of "magic". A wizard's "magic" is based purely on science. Also calling a spell "mage sight" is inaccurate if a warlock is using it. XD But still nice story well written. I would like to see a little more detail in things. Some of the stuff you just kind of passed over without giving us much information on. Like the Anonymous comment before mine said, it lacks substance. Give us a little more detail to paint a picture.

Interesting plot; great dialogue; good world building.

The only complaint I might have is that the story moves pretty quick. The quickness does add a little layer of corniness (I guess it applies more to the relationship and feelings between Martin and his succubus). However, I've gotten used to this, and actually enjoy it more how it is now.

Thanks for posting!!

Great flow, interesting story, & most important, you keep on writing! Nothing is more irritating than an unfinished story. Thanks for your work, it is appreciated!

I don't see mention of an editor at the top of this chapter, so I assume you lost touch with him/her or something. And not to be mean, but it shows. The punctuation in this chapter is horrible. Most everything else is fine, though. Don't feel badly; punctuation and homophones are the two things that everyone seems to get wrong.

Story's still rocking hard, though. ;)

Guy reminds me of Ash (Bruce Campbell) from Evil Dead! Loving it!!!

Hail to the king, baby!!!

CK

Huh, cool.

The emotionally inept angle could be good, and a thousand brownie points for the Star Wars reference. I'm sad to say I didn't catch it until you mentioned it. :,-[

So the warlock badass who is slayer of all is now a 11 yo girl. Playing with dolls decking them out in all the latest trends and artefacts, then dressing them up to be the dream Warlock Barbie fuck toy dream girlfriend.

This story is so good. Demon enforcer on one side and a demon angel on the other. They say the secret to a satisfying life is finding a balance.