All Comments on 'The Warlock Pt. 12'

I really love the story line. Just to bad we have to wait so long for so little.

Yeah, grammar needs a good proofreader

Good work, keep ti going

JC

You end it with him creating his own realm? Dammit, i hope the next chapter comes quick or i may wear a hole in my floors with all the impatient tapping i will be doing.

Hi you're awesome just wish your awesomeness didn't take so long

I'm sitting here giddy about what he just did, he pulled so much power he grew big enough that a DRAGON the size of a JET ended up the size of a HOUSE CAT to him. How awesome is that? And for his final trick of the chapter he decided to LITERALLY play god, I wholeheartedly love this guy. He's arrogant but knows there are other things more powerful than him, he's manipulative but considerate of those he respects or loves. Balance is a perfect descriptor.

My editor has been extremely busy so I put this up before he could get back to me. I now realize Just how much better he makes my stuff. I will repost the edited version when I get it.

you are posting more of this story. I really enjoy it. Thank you for your time and for posting the results here for my enjoyment!

Certainly wasn't expecting that scenario. Though I do wonder what is stopping anything from invading his realm. I get that his is godlike in his own created realm but what keeps him or sustains him that way? Just a few wonderings.

Great chapter looking forward to the next and Martin's decision. Keep up the good work. And I can understand being impatient waiting for something. But thanks for giving us the sneak peek.

David

Here. Take it. ~Charitas

RRROOOOOAAAAARRRR!!!!!! ~Rage

Nope, get out of here. ~P.M.P.G. aka Pimp Girl

Moar plez ~jpz007ahren

PS Thanks Ahazura

That he is a good person after all! Glad this is still going, I found this a few months ago and just found it again.

Just a thought I had, the Arcane Council seems to have a representative of every kind of magic, so what about Necromancers? It's been said some people want to make Necromancy illegal but the Council accepted Chloe. I could definitely see Martin playing hardball, forcing them to either declare Necromancy illegal (provoking him, Chloe and Gwydion) or give her fair representation on the council. And since Chloe is the only Necro around that means she gets a seat of her own. That would definitely stick it to certain people while increasing his influence

I love protagonists like this, that allow for more "creative" problem solving. Keep up the good work :)

I just found this story. Having read it all over two days I have to say it is Awesome. Ahazura it's amazing the the amount skill you have gained while writing this story is awesome. Thanks for the story. Mechmanas@Aol.com

When this story began, Martin was a dangerously powerful warlock. But his power came from preparedness and intelligence. He was meticulous in researching his potential opponents, creating for himself a safe haven, picking his fights. These things made him an interesting character.

By now, all that is gone. The one quality that made him relatable - being a smart S.O.B. on top of being a supernatural spellslinger - is almost pointless by now. Instead, he's handed more power just as the story demands, just at the time he needs it. Half the things he's done have happened through no effort of himself, but because the powers that be decreed them to be just so.

This is prime, undiluted author intervention, and it takes away all credibility the story has. By now, I have no idea what might happen next, and not in the good, I-want-to-know-what-happens-next cliffhangery kind of way. Instead, I have no idea what happens next and I no longer care about it, because my guesses for what happens next, as based on the rules and constraints of your story-universe shown so far, are wholly pointless; after all, the rules may change at any time.

I have seen the deus ex machina; and it has taken away all the wonder and surprise.

The commenter has a point about Martin becoming too powerful. With the creation of a pocket dimension, he should seriously get powered down. In D&D, you typically burn XP when creating permanent stuff. Power needs to be there, but cleverness and wit make a better weapon than brute strength. I would not change this chapter, but a major power down needs to happen. Also, Cleo has become too powerful. When titans walk around, it get boring quickly. Please do not pull a comic book, and make something more powerful to challenge him/them. I swing would destroy existence.

Good story

Read it all over a day or two

Lots of further potential for continuance or a whole volume 2

djb

Don't change anything. Your story is a refreshing change to what the others are referring to. Keep up the good work

I can't wait for the next chapter. It's the same each time. I will read the chapter, then wish for more of Martins exploits. I guess it's true what they say about always leaving them wanting.

You make a magic system, make its warts and lumps just as visible as its strengths and wonders, set up a loophole I never saw coming, & launch it out of the park - awesome job!

Look forward to reading more, as you get time

This was well written, I love the series, and the twist at the end was something I didn't see coming, yet it feels natural. Great writing there.

...the pacing feels a bit rushed, however. We skipped over from the first meeting to the battle, but the main character didn't follow up on his usual erotic dallies. For example, dealing with his frustrations with Xath by engaging his bedfellows... he is on a quasi-honeymoon, after all, as he mentioned.

Not really a problem for me, as the whole thing was enjoyable and deeply uplifting, but on looking back at the rest of the series, it seems the pace (with the more recent chapters) is getting faster but also it moves away from the balance between erotic scenes and action scenes.

So just though I'd mention it... this is lit-erotica, after all ;)

but other than going by to fast, it was a very fun read!

Jason

I was hoping for the fight sequence to be a little longer, but it was good. I like the Balance Plane twist too. If I were him I'd make my own utopia and send agents of some sort. If the Higher Planes have Angels and the Lower Planes have Demons then it's reasonable to suspect that creatures he created as a Above-Gods-Creator would be able to teleport to Earth.

I eagerly look forward to seeing what happens.

-V

I've read this chapter a few time waiting for your new chapter to come out. It is a good story. Good character building, good action, detail to a world new to us, and of course good eroticism. Just wanted to say thank you and to keep up the good work.

seven demi planes to go along with the power of order?

I can't what to see what happens next! Keep up the good work!

Argh... Walls of Text!

At some point during the negotiations, it was mentioned that the Dragon princess would become his wife as a part of the payment, right? what if the true aim of the dragons is to create a family bond with Martin, with hopes of using said bond to resort to his powers whenever they feel like it? Obviously, for this plan to work, Damion must have been a voluntary sacrificial puppet all along...

I'm hooked on this series.

Don't listen to the doubters...you owe no one a single thing

I read the first two parts and got sidetrack by life. I finally got back to it and I still like it. It's a great story. I hope it isn't over or that this is the end.

this series is one of the best i have found and it is the first one that i wall actually follow

keep up the good work man

Please, please please continue the series. What's happening with the dragons? Or the Blessing?

More please. And when are we going to see this as a complete novel or series of novels? Excellent.

I can't wait for the next chapters thank you for the great read amazing flow and writing-

Would like to see more of this story. Please come back and finish.

can you continue with a next chapter, it is more interesting with him more than a god to return to earth, how about for Chloe, with over protective god daddy warlock

I've just read the whole story in one sitting. I'm hooked and also gutted to see you aren't updating anymore.

Would love to see how it ends.

Looks like a long long pause, to think. Or ended on a thinking note?

Part 12, in a 12 part series. Im thinking Ahazura is done with this story my friends.Unfortunate, but, welcome to the reality of life.

Hate to burst your bubble, Anon, but Ahaz contacted me the other day about new chapters. No ETA, but Chapter 13 confirmed! <3

I have really enjoyed your series and hope to one day see its end. Well done and best of luck!

I want to thank you for writing this series it is fun to read and makes one think. I can't wait to read more

if you think the solipsistic stuff at the end of this one is the signal the story is over - Charity is, among other things, self sacrifice for a goal other than self.... if the guardian of that plane is to be believed.

Drags him out of his trap despite himself - not sure how the author would do it though - it would be best done in my mind via self awareness, but he may set the protagonist up to be saved by the girls. Self awareness is clearly not the protagonist's strong suit.

Either way works - looking forward to more.

Green-something

"Balance" is going to be tough in this context - he is going to find the arguments to go or to stay are... balanced. In fact, everything is going to be "balanced" and so any reasoned decision is going to be impossible to get to.

So unreasoned decisions will rule this problem. Get the girls in, definitely. Speaking of which - "Sophia" is Wisdom, Sandra or (Xandra) is short of Alexandra, and so Defender, Protector of Mankind. Think this kind of thing is accidental?

Lastly - we are in the unfortunate position of arguing over the implications of uncontrolled hubris, arrogance, and ignorance. The main character could be seen as a argument for inner virtue in the face of the above. Nah - sometimes an asshole is just an asshole. The "mess over everyone but immediate family and friends" motif is something that everyone, outside of immediate family and friends, should get behind obliterating. Just sayin'.

Green-something

Still 5*, but I am seriously pissed!!! INCOMPLETE!!!!!!!!@#%&$#@(&)%$#$%&$ aaarrrrggghhh!!!!!!! Incredible story, but not finished😢!!! Please finish this.

I want to mark it on my calendar and have Siri remind me

Any update on this story? I'm really hoping there's more of this coming

I just read this series again. I would love more chapters. Keep up the writing AHZ.

It's coming up on 3 years without an advance in the story, not to mention the side story of Xandra & Sophia bonding. We know you (Ahazura) are alive and productive. We just need to get your deep thinking going again.

@green117 -- You've got it right. He painted himself into a corner, and you've given him the "out". Rational decisions are impossible. Only the inner core personality and moral prejudices will shape actions in any continuation.

@Ahazura -- Time for your warlock to meet God, aka All That Is, the identity who contains all the planes and poles, and has created (or revealed) the heretofore unknown Balanced Plane. It must connected to (reachable from) everything else using differing gradients which all balance out at their "Balance" intersection.

You have the freedom to make any arbitrary decision about how the warlock will interact with all your other characters. Logically speaking, Martin can leave Balance in any direction as all roads cross at the balancing point. You haven't constrained him; you've given him freedom!

So pick a way for things to turn out and get Martin going. Create anything you need to offset anything you want Martin to do; his actions can always be balanced out by new characters and/or backstory as needed.

(Balance can aid Lanyard and Keychain if you need to quickly wrap up the long time story arm. Martin can retire as a capricious unpredictable entity who creates interesting times for those important to him, or any who attract his attention.)

And if you want another view, consider Justice -- defined as "the solution which gives the best result for everyone". It's the best balance of the good and bad aspects of a situation (or consequences), something you've made Martin's exclusive domain.

One star for incomplete.

So no probs leave the story line there. However you should have finished off the fight scene and the fallout on earth with the girls and such.

This entire story seems crap now that you’ve stopped writing chapters. It’s all I killed that I beat this I’m better than everyone, get a girl get another girl, win a dragon princess, get a daughter, get get get get get.

However this is all for naught as it goes nowhere. It’s the equivalent of winning 12 billion dollars and dying alone in a tent that you stole and living on rats behind a 7-11, the 12 billion dollars was worthless when you died as you hadn’t ever used it.

3 years so never coming back, so just fuck right off then and keep on walking.

I've read this a few times; hoping to see a new chapter sometime, but I do get how life can go sometimes.

Sorry to see some sour grapes in the comments; when people assume a free service should continue for their own convenience. That said, a bio update every now and then would probably help calm the more volatile souls, and the rest of us would appreciate it too.

Ahaz is a wordsmith, don't bitch and moan if you don't agree with his choices. They are his, not yours. Go write a story. This is not some shitty movie where they spoon feed you pap, use your imagination, fill in the rest of the story with your own storyline.

Or you can offer to sacrifice a few virgins for him to add a sequel.

Ignore the Jackspeed4u troll he has mental stability issues and a frightful entitlement complex ... I for one thoroughly enjoyed your submissions, an entertaining tale that leaves the reader wanting more. Well done, I found the pace of the story just right and the characters interesting. Martin for some reason has me thinking of Lucifer Morningstar. I look forward to a time (if it comes) for new chapter.

I just really really hope that you come back to this...

And preferably sooner rather than later!

A damn fine read, but it needs to continue.

This is one of the best reads I have had in Literotica. What an author. Please continue the good work.

Fun read! Appreciate the time you spent on it. As with others, would gladly read more.

Rediscovered this after reading when it was first posted.

Among the best. Hoping to see more. Thanks for sharing.

Found it again, one of my favourites on lit, please I beg you add more!!

Great Series!

Just gets better every time I read it. Thank you!

Good story and it’s rapidly developing and seems to be hitting its stride. But.........I guess you’re done writing it. It feels as it’s been left hanging. Great job so far. :)

My 2cents

Love the story! Sorry to see you have ceased writing it. I hope you are ok. Thanks for your time and your imagination.

Absolutely brilliant story. Please write more.

So you elevated him to deity status? Nope, lost me there.

Please continue this series. You are doing great work here... I'm sure you have a lot more in your tank.

So... I take it he never came back from the plane of Balance? ;)

In all honestly, though, I just read this whole thing overnight, and I very, very much would like to see it continue. I hope that things have been alright for you during the chaos, and that you'll be able to come back to writing for pleasure soon!

I love this series and the characters. Please continue it.

Great series the after 5 years it seems to be done and left with an open ending. This is why I can only rate it a 4. Thanks for the entertainment

fuck, another great story dead in the water.

Dam good story with great writing and I sure would have kept reading but that's not happening. I knew I was going to be disappointed when I got the last chapter and it only had two pages. Sorry that it was never continued but I enjoyed the ride while it lasted.

Need more!

Just finished reading for the 15th time. It is excellent but doesn't feel complete.

It’s been more than 6 years so I guess the author lost interest in finishing this one. Too bad.

And?

Excellent series. Please continue if you can.