All Comments on 'The Wedding Planner Ch. 07'

JPB, were are you going with this? we all know its a set up, in part 1 Jake's wife Fran puts her job before their planned weekend away and not for the first time she has been doing it for months, she gets away early sees Jake kiss a woman at the dive site then decides he is cheating on her but has no real evidence that he has gone to bed with her, so Fran decides revenge by fucking every Tom Dick & Harry since she came home, in part 7 her boss has got so called evidence of Jake having a woman in his room, what a great corporate set up if I have seen one, as lets face it everyone is involved with this set up from Jakes boss who sends him away and who wants and has got a married slut to Frans boss Dan who got her into slutting herself out although she didn't need much help on that part, this story is like a porn movie all it talks about is who Fran is whoring herself out to, nothing about Jake at all, nothing about Jake cheating on her, is Jake in this story at all? all I can see is Fran and her corporate buddies having a great time fucking each other, I think you need to close this before your readers say this story is not worth it.

Laguna. My thoughts exactly. She did not listen to the messages that weekend either. That should come up. The problem is the main character stopped developing after the end of chapter 2 (I am being kind) it is just bigger, longer, louder. That only works with comedy. She can't get in any deeper. The creampie is now superfluous. The story needs to wrap up.

His shorter stories can be masterful in their balance of suspense and emotion. The long stories are bad smut with no character development and no emotions. If this were an old smut novel, there'd be more anguish written in to heighten the sexuality. If I want to give JPB credit, I'd say he's trying to write long stories that aren't sexy at all because all they are is sex.

I have a question, which is a question to many writers here actually. I have read most of your work and tip my hat to a prolific writer. But I have to ask: do you know any good people? I mean the kind of people you could leave your kid with while you went to the store or trust to cover your station at work while you took a potty break? Because, almost all of your character have absolutely no morally, socially or ethically redeeming value at all.

If real people were like the characters in so many of the stories I see here any more society would quickly degenerate to little more than tribalism or anarchy. And I don't mean to single you out or this story; it is a disturbing trend with so many of the stories here except for a few writers.

There is no one - NO ONE - in this story worth the powder it would cost to blow them to hell. And since to some degree an authors work is a reflection of his world-view, I have to ask if this is how you see people?

Have the lake become ground zero for a terrorist attack and kill everyone in this story because it would benefit mankind and no one would miss any of them.

Regards

C

Yes i have just skipped to the end of the story to see if you wrapped it up. I liked the way you handled your "Bought Husband" series which got me interested in reading your longer stories but it does seem more miss then hit to me. If its all about a woman becoming a slut and it multiples faster then the rage disease in 28 days later then wow, i am surprised my neighbors have not caught it yet.

So far I have seen no real plot. Is it going anywhere, or is the cheating husband/wife a incidental plot to tie together a bunch of sex scenes? Wouldn't it be ironic if Jake didn't cheat? Besided, the woman apparently did not respect her husband enough to learn the truth before she got her revenge. It seems to me that from reading the first chapter and all the ones after it, she was looking for an excuse to be the slut and found it. If it follows the story ine that many LW sotries do, Jake will either be the happy cuckold that gets pleasure in his wife screwing the owner; or, end up suing the company and destroying her and the owner. Let's see if it goes anywhere.

skip to end - any evidence of story ending? If so read. If not, find another story. Sorry JPB but this one is not your finest

He keeps this whores stroy going on and on. Forgotten is the reasom she started this. Who say's that Jake is cheating..theres not a lot about him...just about old roundheels...

Really don' t like her. She is selfish and self centred. Being on birth control and not telling Jake is the ultimate example of this. I'd love it if the story turns out to be about Jakes revenge on her as he has relalised what she is and has moved on.

This chapter only deserves a 3.

Worst shit u have written. No more of ur stories for me.

Jesus christ, end this already