All Comments on 'The White Hunter'

The author needs to get a brain as the pasta being used isn't working. Roughly 70-80% of all sentences contain "word -- word," "word - word," or "word ... word," this indicates a lack of education in the basics of good writing. Also makes it appear as the author's mind had no idea or clue how to proceed making this a mind crutch while stuck with no thought.

With an IQ above their shoe size? Sure doesn't seem so. Not one of this authors best.

Reasonably good story, but you might have had more drama in it. The wife was really ho hum with the hunter and his assistant on the night the husband watched. Clearly she was not use to people seeing her fucking, or with cum running down her leg, It was an opportunity for you to tell us about the shock and awe, embarrassment, on her part, have her at least look and marvel at Shaka's cock. You know, tell us what she was thinking. Plus you gloss over the confession, more drama unspoken.

great story

I love your writing style and imagination. This is a fun read while not being as good as most of your stories. Keep up the good work.

Fun little tale.

I guess the short description did give a cuck alert. But you did not describe why hubby accepted the cheating.

Lynn,

Not your best story by far. Everything happened at arms length and didn't connect.

i guess your characters will be idiots too this you have achieved. I see britease has joined the sicko ranks.

He didn't get off watching his wife fuck the guide and he allowed her to fuck him because it would amorilate his culpability if and when his affair is discovered. But the ending? Lame.

A rousing good romp of a story. Funny and refreshing.

Worthless at worst

Well, you left a lot out! Thank you for sharing your story with us!

Good luck enjoying this man haters stories unless you are a super cuck. But those guys aren't really human any way!

interesting take on the relationship betwwen long-time friends. Wonder what Ashley's POV would be. 5*

This story is about as interesting as closely examining the gravel on my driveway.

Ho hum yawn.

Well, I kept waiting for the official safari photograph to be processed and sent to the couple (with surface shipping, maybe a month after their return home!) And there was Shaka, grinning in the photo, right beside the grinning Frank!

The 2-couple follow-up safari promises to explore Deepest, Darkest Africa! Why bother getting tired, lugging those heavy rifles around? Or, maybe, just send the wives! Then get the safari picture back with Frank and ALL the Zulu bearers, grinning!

Not the best that you have done by a long shot.

No self respect man would put up with this shit u know wat they do in countries where sluts cheat.,stone them and in 1 country they cut the clit out, but I have a better one pour acid in her disease pussy.

Always good to read a story of yours been a long time since you have wrote one could have been better but this was worth the wait

Unlike most of your stories, this one was atrocious.

This was a creative, well crafted story.

Thank you

Smooth story, without a climax.. Amusing though

Wow, what a sad sham of a marriage.

Ashley has my sympathy, being cucked by his supposed friend and having his wife pimped out like a common slut to anyone that comes along. Maybe this white hunter needs a bullet in the back of his head to really end the story.

Less threat if your wife fucks your married friend.

Did not like this story, but the writing was worth a four.

I really get peeved stories that use the dark continent as a setting but make the barest, most cursory use of it's terrible beauty in favor of whatever agenda/ fetish the author is foisting on the reader.

It's akin to paying to see a movie enticed by commercial featuring your favorite actor ... say George Clooney only to discover GC is only doing an extended cameo & you're actually watching a Pauley Shore vehicle. I've evaluated your last few stories at full marks.

To be honest, the writing wasn't horrible but definitely repetitive. Giving the Africa it's due as a locale would have put a fresh spin on your borderline rehashed themes of male buffoonery and twitdom. Maybe next time- lots of full length National Geographic features on YouTube. Hint, hint.

I can deal with male bashing, which is not entirely ungrounded. But *** for shortchanging African veldt. Ernest would understand.

Incapable of writing a good tale. Always to humiliate men.

Hi Lynn,

I also read the comments and they gave you a bit of a beating. I don't think they're right because it seems to me that there are too many people here who have the impression that those of us who write are trying to write classical literature. Knowing that that's not what it is is what makes it enjoyable for me. Simply reading the story for what it is and for what it is it turns me on! I get a hard on, jerk off, and by the end of the story I'm squirting cum on my belly. And for that reason, I love your story!

And I look forward to the next one!

T

Liked it - Fun read

I will admit L writes dialogue well. Sure wouldn't want anybody from this story as a neighbor or a friend.

What a waste of writing talent, telling the same story over and over.

Better luck next time.

dead women tell no lies, she would not have so easily been a slut in the bush if she didn't have prior practice.

Thanks for something different. Good read. thanks for sharing.

Thanks for the effort.

Lynn... you did a nice job on this.....ur such a sexy mind..... wanna hear ur own sexy stories.....thanks

Blue sky, fresh air and fresh pussy, this hunter has got it made. Liked the story 3*

Enjoyed your new story. Hope they enjoy their second trip.

but this is a total croc of a story.

in any other universe Frank would have had his bean blasted into a million bits of bone, blood, and brains.

Nothing note-worthy about his "TAIL".

Your imagination is incredible! Loved this story...thanks again!

No doubt there will be a sequel....

Short story but very hot. Would love to hear about the next hunt

Loved it...your stories get hotter each time.

I like this story. I can't wait to see the next chapter.

I enjoyed your story and look forward to the follow-up.

You write very well. Another good story.

A well written story. Reads easily. It is a mainstream story. I enjoyed it because it was funny. It's humor is of the kind you find in stage plays and quite a few European movies (of late, more and more American ones too): the topic is serious but the humor deconstructs layers of pretence or accepted order of things.

i am a wonnabe voyeur husband (whose wife does not belive in the open marriage thing). Knowing you, the scene when he sees his wife fucked by the white hunter could have been more erotic. But then you had another idea & none of the characters is alive without you.

i remain you fan.

:)

It was consensual and funny so it was somehow an enjoyable read. If the husband had gotten off on watching the rutting then this would have been just another pathetic cuck story. It was refreshing for the cheating husband to think of his wife's bagging the "Great White" as her vacation reward.

Women that rut with guys like Frank and Shaka UNPROTECTED are hunting for deadly trophies. These guys bag women from all over the world and are collecting whatever STDs the world has to offer.

Go fuck yourself pervert.

However in small social groups ( say, a country club, a mining community, a big contruction site) it all happens but not always & not to everybody.

I would not divorce my wife if she fucked the white hunter &/or Shaka. What happens in Africa stays in Africa. A woman's life is harder than a man's one. They need some fun too.

People either hate LynnGKS or love her (him).

I love reading her stories.

Another steaming pile of dung from the cow herself!

Wortless writer

I liked this story & gave it a 4+ [(☆☆☆☆+) 4.25/5.0 = 85% = A]

The part of this story to jack off to is when the safari party spends first night in tents.

The rest was said in the two aforementioned comments.

Cuck s*@t

Okay started out good not great and went downhill from there. By the end it was almost boring.

Not talking about the morality part. It just seemed so businesslike and left me feeling sad.

Honestly, I'd rather get a colonoscopy with a rusty fork than read any more of this.

....hard to read and stay interested. To repetitive and saying the same things over and over. The characters seemed really simple and stupid. Then you have "guys" named ashley, and bunny thrown into the mix. 2 star.

Absolute POS story.written by a POS author. Damned cuckold crap.

Trash, don't bother writing anymore.

I do hope someone slide a dresser across that closet door you hide behind.