All Comments on 'The Witches of Ravenrook 04'

This story is very good. I love the plot and characters! I do, however, have to read it twice in some places to understand what spell check ruined in some sentences.

It's good to have you writing again, and I look forward to another great chapter.

I'm surprised someone understood that chapter. Cause I sure didn't. Way too confusing these dialogs.

Keep it up, your stories are amazing to read, I always check for updates every couple days.

I love the characters! Hoping there is another chapter coming in the near future.

Thank you for writing this!

I'm hoping you will finish this story.

I hope you come back to this story. I would dearly love for you to finish it.

I just read this series 1-4 today and even though it is not finished and may not be finished for years it was still totally worth reading. This story was not like I thought it would be, which is good because I put off reading it until now because of that. I guess I thought it would be a guy meekly being sent through the sexual wringer by snotty witches and eventually getting one up on them, maybe. But this story is entirely more unpredictable.

I don't know how to describe the kind of anti hero the protagonist is. Ruthlessly moral? A reasonable sociopath? But I like this kind of character because they tend to not be passive characters and avoid some of the tropes of hero's in stories that let the bad guys get one over on them so as to drive the plot forward. I also like that the hero is not particularly stupid, such as when it comes to spotting an ambush.

Plus the whole idea of a hord of ancestors powering the hero in that way is not something I can remember seeing in fiction, though I guess ancestor worship to power magic or sway things in your favor is not too far off.

A great series. It is strange, mystical, and fun.

So after reading Nanites and Deadly Friends/Unexpected Enemies I just had to re-read this. There is just so much that can be done with it. I mean you have the child angle, the long lost mother angle, the main story arc of going after Everest, Richard's potential to die horribly, and so many other aspects. Totally want to see LNH get completed, but this is definitely a keeper to reinvigorate and see where it can lead.

Oh look, I was the last person to comment on this story. Well it goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway, that from an aspect of non-sexual/romance writing you're the author I would want to keep reading. If you throw in sexual/romance writing then it is a decent battle between yourself and BurntRedstone for my #1 spot. You have a gift for writing that makes me not mind re-reading your stories even though I have an eidetic memory.

Thanks again for the hours upon hours of work you put into these stories for our entertainment.

-J

I loved this story, please finish.

But when I re-read a series of yours I'm usually picking up on MORE and more things lol. You weave so much into your stories. LNH is a good example, but so is this. I mean, I totally spaced it that Richard is a half-theran. I mean I know I recognized that his mother was still alive and that is great arc, but he has this huge supply of spiritual energy, and whatever the Therans can do to an extent ... hot damn James. You're creative.

Is there any chance left for this story for continuation. I really liked it and would like to read more of it!

Although LNH and EBB tide are giving me enough entertainment for now so no pressure just asking :)

At this time the prognosis is not good. Not only do I have other stories far closer to completion, my latest medicine, Gabapentin is KICKING MY ASS! It is a pain-killer, for those who care, and it is doing its job. I can walk with minimal pain now. Sadly, I can barely walk now because my whole world is spinning (a cautioned side effect is Dizziness). Typing this is 'fun' and not in a good way. I feel like I'm constantly about to tip over out of my chair so creating anything is going to be a chore.

On the beneficial side, I know where I want to take Chapter 5 in this tale. I have much of it mapped out in my mind.

They travel to the mainland in pursuit of the Atlanteans ... which completes the 13th Circle of the Black Witches Coven (whoops!) ~ giving the descendants of the other 7 the power they have been long denied. There is still the government task force on the serial killings to deal with plus the on-going conflict with the White Coven. The main mystery remains ~ what was an Atlantean doing breeding with an Abenaki and teaching at least one half-breed offspring magic over 400 years ago ... and why would a normally amoral Altantean 'noble' be interested in said half-breed today?

God - sometimes I really wish I had a clone ... or two.

James aka FinalStand

I wish you had an exact clone too ... but as the movie Multiplicity showed, maybe that wouldn't be a good idea lol. Time is something we all have. I'm really glad to see this update, gives me hope to see that there is a chance and that you have an idea for chapter 5, yay.

Sir,

You have placed a large amount of variety in the 4 chapters here. I would like to offer some criticism without offending you, if I may. There is some inconsistency issues with the story and in some cases contradicting problems in the characters. It seems to me that you might have changed what you wanted the characters to become from chapter to chapter. Some of it was very chaotic to read and relate to the flow of the story. There’s just a lot of things going on here that don’t have any background to explain it to the reader. In all honesty, this looks like a very rough first draft, full of ideas to try, but not ready for reading. I think you should look at pulling this story for a rewrite. Based on your other stories, you most certainly have the ability to write a tale. I think this one could be another great one, but if t does need some work.

Thank you,

JAFCritic

You are pretty much spot-on. This story evolved as I was writing it. I was not adhering to a prepared script which is one of my most annoying, consistent flaws and I've been working to correct it. Thank you for your insight.

James aka FinalStand

It's a great read, but I agree with what another comment said, the last bit seems like a different story than the first bit.

All in all its your usual brand of action, comedy and sex without being overly explicit.

I love your stories and only wish there were more of them.

Thanks for doing what you do.

Another great but unfinished story. Honestly I had such a bittersweet experience with this one because the entire time I was reading and enjoying it I knew that it wouldn't ever reach a resolution, because seemingly none of your stories do. I've almost taken a fatalistic mindset when it comes to your otherwise exemplary work.

Nevertheless thank you for your story that I deeply enjoyed and I hope you one day manage to get back to it.

...of how changing something very minor can make all the difference in clarity.

You wrote: "So she's here to release the 13th Witch? Or kill her?" Spring posed..."

The discussion had been about the 7th tomb with Abenaki woman in it, and had been using 'she' to refer to her. Then, abruptly, Spring asks this question. When I first read it, I thought the discussion was continuing about the Abenaki woman.

Then, as I read the dialogue about contemparary actions of the 'she' in Spring's question, I got confused as hell, since the actions of the Abenaki woman had been in the past, and nothing had been said about the actions happening in present time.

It takes a lot to explain you should have used Ms Marlowe's name instead of the 'she' in Spring's question. That minor, and simple change would have made the passage immediately understandable.

There was another, similar instance of the same type of pronoun use instead of the proper name just a few paragraphs later, but I couldn't copy it, as well, because no one in the computer software world considers the user when they design fucking UI's.

Every virtual clipboard in every effing UI should have the capability of stacking cut/copy clips, and retrieving individual clips by choice. It is stupid we users have to put up with horseshit software. Fucking Windows 10 is not significantly improved, from a user function standpoint since Windows effing 3.0. Sure they change how you can do things, but expanding the things you can do? Well, that's blasphemous.

Just like Final Stand not finishing this gawd damn story. Perhaps if everyone sends him feedback to finish it, he'll get off his ass and do it. Those who read at other sites, look for his work, and harass him there, as well.

GeoD