by FantasyFanX
Alright, I could forgive the amateur need to put in the words Recently, And so, understandably and It goes without saying, but by the third paragraph when you says, sustainable when the word you are looking for is susceptible, I quiet. Three paragraphs in and I quiet. I feel bad. And all that italics shit with the what if stuff, unneeded waste of my time.
I think that before trying to correct someone, you should start with yourself... In your fifth line you used the word 'quiet', and the correct one is quit.
Seriously, so amateur... Also, you can't say 'you says', genius. Is 'you said'.
On another note... FantasyFanX! I really liked your work! Keep it up! I never expected Red to end up with her mother... But I surely liked it!
I'll be waiting the second part!
Take care!!! - CG
I gotta admit, Red sleeping with Rosa caught me off-guard since she so vehemently denied her Pa's attempts (rightfully so, besides blood-related intercouse). I am eagerly awaiting more of her relationship with Thomas, which may be blossoming into something else, a good slow burner that really gets me going. Keep up the good work!