The Wrong Way Road Trip Pt. 02

Kate looked down on me. "Yes, but I'm not sure you and I are still in that same place."

"We definitely are not. I want today to be your only wedding day..."

Her eyes filled with tears and she fell into my arms. "Oh Brian, that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."

Just to be terribly clear, I said, "You know the place in the vows where we say 'until death do us part?' "

She didn't let me finish, but cried hard on my chest. "Oh, Brian."

It took minutes for calm to be restored. I sat up and said, "Marigold Katherine Danehy, those are the last tears until after you are married. Even if it is not true, from now until four o'clock, we are normal adults, doing normal things."

She danced to the middle of the room, arms raised and fists formed. "Alright, buster, get yourself out here."

We feinted around and she suddenly knocked me down with a swipe that took both legs out from under.

I looked up at her smile. "That normal enough for you, Mister?"

I stood and wrapped my arms around. "Lucy, you didn't tell me you took self-defense classes."

"Mac, today's women have learned a few things..."

"I can't take any more of this. Thank god, it's time for your spa appointment."

Smiling, laughing and looking bridelike, she went out the door.

I took the opportunity to consult with Ramon. He was presiding at the bell captain's podium, and definitely king of all he surveyed. Our fists came up for a friendly butt. "Ramon, my friend, the bride is going to look ravishing. Don't you think two of your finest helpers should provide an escort from our room to the limo at 3:30? I folded two more Franklins into his palm.

"For your bride, absolutely. Consider it done."

"One more thing, we are on the road after the wedding, so our luggage must go in the limo too. Don't you think it would be tacky of the groom to be carrying luggage in his tux?"

Ramon was bent over with a big belly laugh. "My friend, the groom is not going to carry luggage. I will see to it."

My next stop was at the front desk. "We are not staying tonight, but need a 4 pm checkout because my fiancee is getting all gussied up in the room until 3:30 for a 4pm wedding. So add whatever extra charge is necessary and settle my bill now, please."

The young woman smiled and asked, "Are you the nervous groom, sir?"

"I sure am."

"In that case, the late checkout will be complimentary." She gave me a wide smile and a credit card chit to sign.

There was a fistful of quarters in my pocket so a detour to the closest bank of slots was needed. My brain knew full well they would shortly disappear, but in real life, after ten dollars or so had been invested, the machine started clanging and an attendant ran up. I asked, "What's wrong?"

The hotel smile disease was catching. She grinned at me and said, "You just won $200. She took chips from her belt and handed them to me. "You can cash these at any window over there."

I gave her a hug and walked away, thinking what to do with the chips. The solution was obvious. I walked outside, where Ramon's face lit up. "What now?"

I poured the chips into his hand. "Just hit this jackpot in there. Do you suppose those would fund a little live music around 3:30? A little beat, a little jive? The bride is pretty lively. She is only nineteen."

"Oh man, this party of yours just gets better and better. There will be live music at 3:30, you can count on it."

I was actually feeling weak in the knees and took the elevator to the room, where Kate was not back from the spa. Relaxing on the bed, I was totally out of it when soft lips found mine. My eyes opened on a new woman. The hair, the eyes, the eyebrows. She really had received the full treatment.

"No messing with me. Edith is coming at 2:30 for the final touches and I have strict instructions that no playtime is allowed between now and then."

I closed my eyes and whispered, "On your wedding day, the groom only takes orders."

We passed time packing and demolishing the last of the sodas and chips. When Edith arrived at 2:30, she said, "Brian you are a real hunk, but the groom is not allowed in here while your bride and I get her ready. Please take your clothes and yourself into the other room. I understand the two of you are to be ready to walk out of here at 3:30." Her eyes crinkled at me.

I was cleaned up and in the tux, with the normal clothes all packed, by 3:00. I used the extra time to double check our reservation in St. George, and examine the traffic app for wrecks on I-15. At quarter after, my cell chimed. Against a lot of background noise that sounded like music, a voice said, "Brian, this is Jim. Ben's cousin. Ellen and I decided to come over and provide navigation to the shop. Ramon captured us and said you will be right down. The band is great. Folks are dancing."

He hadn't finished speaking, but I was paralyzed. The bride and Edith had walked in from the other room. What a vision! Then someone was knocking at the door, and two giant guys in good duds came in. The escort was here. It was Marigold's turn to be paralyzed.

"Ma'am, Ramon sent us to escort the bride to your ride."

"Oh my, I guess we have to go?" She looked at me and I nodded, feeling stupid and groomlike.

The whole business turned into a dream. The women in the elevator were full of awed praise. "Oh, he is so lucky! You look perfect." The bride was getting pinker and pinker. The two escorts were all puffed up and grinning like crazy.

In the lobby, all the noise ceased and after a moment, clapping started. The assistant manager stepped from behind the counter and cleared a path to the front entrance. Outside was pandemonium. At least fifty people were shouting and dancing. The brass band was very loud. The entire driveway, except for the immense limo, was blocked by bodies. Marigold squeezed my hand as Jim and Ellen ran up. A quick hug and she embraced Ramon with a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you. Thank you!"

In seconds, it seemed, we were being tucked into the limo. "Can't be late," shouted Ramon.

Jim was in front talking to the driver. Ellen was on the far side of Marigold, gushing over how great she looked. "You look perfect. I remember my wedding day last year, I was in such a daze!"

The bride squeezed my hand. "I am. I am."

Ellen laughed and shouted at her husband through the open partition window, "Jim, I am finally getting that limo ride you promised!"

Chapter 6 - Wedding at the Shop

The sliding front door of the shop was open and the limo pulled up across it. There was something in the darkness we couldn't see. Ellen said, "We have to get out and stand at the entrance to the shop."

At the last moment, I remembered and ran around the limo to the driver, pressing a bill into his hand that I hoped was a fifty. "Luggage goes in the office. There is an old guy in there waiting for the camera bag!"

The four of us stood awkwardly at the entrance to the big auto shop. Lights came on and music started. Ben appeared in a tux and offered his arm to Marigold. The shop was spotless, with dressed up mechanics and their women partners smiling at us. The aisle down the middle was strewn with flower pedals and halfway down was an eight foot arbor with more flowers everywhere. A tall man in a black suit waited.

The rescued woman was receiving the ceremony she deserved, although I got an accusing look in a quick glance back at Jim and Ellen and me.

As we arrived at the arbor, the music died out, and the tall guy said he was Harold Smith and authorized by the state of Nevada to officiate at our marriage. The rest of the words blurred until it came to "I do," and his telling me to kiss the bride.

A giant cheer went up and everyone gathered around for congratulations. Farther toward the back of the shop were tables with glasses of champagne set out, and to one side a tall wedding cake. The bride elbowed me and whispered I was a terrible person.

We hadn't noticed, but in the rear entrance of the shop was a vehicle completely covered with a cloth tarp. After everyone had a glass in their hands, Ben's father came forward and said, "Brian, you are a lucky man. You just married this wonderful girl who has entranced my shop people, and you get to drive away in the result of their hard work!"

With everyone watching, Ben slowly drew the tarp away from the car. OMG, they didn't leave the original paint! It looked brand new, shining from one end to the other. What a surprise! Ben came over and shook hands with me. "Brian, you were not going to drive away from this shop in a crummy looking car. The guys said not a chance. Just look at your woman's face."

He was right. Marigold was overwhelmed, walking around the car, dragging worshipful fingers on the fresh blue paint. Even the original chrome trim had been renewed.

We spent the next half hour sipping champagne, making a wedding cake mess on our fingers, and sharing enthusiasm for restored classic cars with a shop full of experts who had made the Chevelle like new. I caught several of the wives and girlfriends asking for equal treatment. I wondered if Ben and his Dad would find that a problem.

It was getting time to go when a young woman came rushing up. "I'm from the Review-Journal, this is such a wonderful story. Would you mind a quick interview and a few pictures?"

We were posed beneath the arbor and in front of the glorious car. Marigold looked simply lovely. It was her day, and you could tell. But I was getting antsy. I said to the reporter, who was still asking rapid fire questions, "We have to go. Would you like a ride in the back of the Chevelle? We will drop you off at the shop where we return the wedding clothing?"

Eyes wide, she replied, "OMG, yes! My boyfriend is going to be so jealous!"

Someone had driven the car to the front, where it sat idling with a low throaty rumble. Kate whispered in my ear, "I so want to drive my present, but not right now. You drive."

To loud cheers, I carefully wheeled out of the lot with one wife and one reporter. Kate was busy providing her a story about how we had met in school and decided before we went on a nationwide trip together that we needed to be married. She looked at me and didn't let any of the rest of the story loose. When we got to the wedding shop, we gave Amelia a hug and wished her luck with the editor of her paper. She drove away with the photographer.

Half an hour later, Mrs. Brian Westerman was at the wheel of her wedding present, smiling ear to ear. She wore a colorful Las Vegas is for Lovers tee shirt that Ellen had stuffed in the luggage, along with the marriage certificate. With an imperial glance, she said, "Directions to the freeway, please."

(cont'd in Part 3 - Taking in Strays)