All Comments on 'Their Toy Ch. 01'

you've got a nice story here, but you definitely need to work on your grammar. You mix up your tenses, going from past to present and then back. This can be a little disconcerting, so have someone proofread your work before submitting. Otherwise, you've got a real talent for creating a believable situation and bringing it to a head, no pun intended.g

that was incredible... i'd love to read more - what happens next?? :D

Loved the crush with Katie - nice touch. It really adds to the story.