All Comments on 'Theological Discipline'

The plotline is good and you've clearly some written talent but you keep flicking between first and third person which makes it confusing to follow. I can't always tell who you're talking about. Need some proofreading to fix.

The flow is also a little odd, very slow and then suddenly something is happening, and then it's slow again.

Otherwise great.

I love the add-ons an the result !!

Excellent story - hope you have more to come :-)