All Comments on 'This is Home Now'

very detailed story, the descriptions of the house and farm reminded me of my own grand parents places. the spy cameras/tvs was weird so i hope to read more stories from you, giving details about the tapes?

loved the graphic love makeing, keep it going

I guess that maybe your first language isn't English. The language used both for descriptions and conversation between brother and sister just isn't realistic. There are also lots of incorrect words used. This spoils an otherwise good story, but it could be corrected with a good editor.

another chapter please

Story sounded a lot like Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dee. What 2 people talk to each other this way? But to give you some credit, the descriptions in your story did make me visualise the house, shed, garage, etc

Hope this is just the start

Good story line baby loved the farm house setting too baby the camera could lead to an interesting reveal on the parents but please less baby,s

Stop repeating everything each one says. story line good. are you going to continue?

Quit after page one. Poor grammar, punctuation, use of idioms. Get an editor.

Second paragraph: "I saw a car with a woman sitting in the car and as I cot stopped next to the car I saw it was Sue, my sister, sitting in the car."

I battled on for half the first page. Wished I hadn't. This is garbage of the first order!

Unwanted details, repetitive, Poor grammar, punctuation, use of idioms. Just do homework before write a story. And all your stories have the same background in different situations. Change the scenes,

A very long haul to get to the sexy part. Hard to read your style of writing too.