by Manu
I liked the lack of character development consistent with the lack of characters.
The exclamation mark following 'sorry' really makes the story. It would have been dull and lifeless if it had been omitted.
Lue
How long did you agonize over the plot?
Is there a sequel?
Would it be worth adding to my favorites?
With this initial effort, you have shown yourself to be a superior writer, easily surpassing 95% of those that post here. You have not switched tenses midway through you story, you have not written in the first or second persons, and you have not split infinitives. You obviously proofread your work as I found no spelling errors and you have not confused to, too, and two. There are no misuses of “their” and you have no confusing dialog. Well done!
This clearly belongs in "How-to."
Actually, a way to test submissions like this would be a great idea.