All Comments on 'Three Square Meals Ch. 071'

Nice change in style. but as always, great storytelling and an impressive new chapter with nice new characters who have all been given sufficient background to understand their motives and choices.

Keepbup the good work!

It was a fun one to write, and an interesting challenge not to slip back into the perspectives of the usual cast. Someone mentioned about 6 months ago, that it might be fun to see a rescue from the girl's point of view, so I hoped you enjoyed my take on that! :-)

The combat scenes were inspired by "battle for all time" by Edward Bradshaw. You can find it on YouTube if you're interested!

Chapter 72 is going well, I'm about half way through at the moment. :-)

Tefler

Amazing as always. At times I could see where the story was going but is was better to enjoy the ride you created. Well done.

Ch was very passionate full of powerful emotions

And damn it was intriguing as well

Hell of chapter tefler but I did miss john and the girls pov

But I think it was well worth it

I hope the next one will be John's pov

I won't mind tashana thrown into the mix I little bit though

As always you have done a bang up job on the chapter man

Just Awesome.....

but hearing the tales of horror suffered by tashana really frightened me.looks like i have a weak heart for those horrors.

thought tashana would be a slave but i now know why they say people change under difficult circumstances.

nice writing especially "second appeared to have had angry sex with a blender" laughed for some time reading that helped me break the bad mood.

eshunu seems to be knowing more about the projenator species and their technology.

better if john calls eradele to secure the underworld so that he can use tashana to understand the projenator technology left behind.

i may have been mistaken here,but what happened to admiral norwood.he was suppose to meet up with the traitor fleet after meeting grand pleate but the traitor fleet was destroyed and he seemed to vanish from the storyline ???

and for the first time similar stories for this series has changed to other stories than from the series

a nice touch using alyssa to mark the persons for execution and tashana having unlocked eldritich flame without johns help.

seems like john can visit faye in digital world as irillith seemed to pull herself from the screen i am thinking vice versa may be possible.

better for malifica crew to be killed by hades.if they had been killed by john that might sour up the relations from the starting

all in all a good one.kinda wondering why literotica seems to release the story only on

wednesdays after 3 pm same thing happened for previous one also.

Great change up in the writing. As always fantastic story telling, afraid the best I can come up with are 19 patents ;-).

5 stars as aways

Mal

Damn! This chapter was fuckin intense. Loved the justice part for the flesh masters.

Good luck!

I wish I could give more than 5 stars. Just amazing.

but this chapter, for me, was the dip in standard that I felt would come sooner or later but hoped would not. Still enjoyable though.

as usual. The next chapter dealing with her presumed addition to the group should be interesting. although with her history I suppose she could turn him down.

At first I felt like I didn't want to know the cast of misfits who were Tashana's crew. Bull (Good one Cap'n) George (Greenhorn or Podling, at least he was a Talon in the end) Groluk (prefers chainsaws) or Plex (Terrans are always awed somewhat by Plex's magnificence) we got to know this colorful crew well enough to mourn their fate, and learn why Tashana beat all odds to survive in such an inhospitable place.

Then when John Blake came in to save the day -- whoooa!! Loved every second of it.

Honestly when you started adding a twin sister Maliri story I thought she couldn't be as hot as Irilith, this is just going to be kind of an also fucked, as in John also fucked Tashana. Honestly I think Tashana has already outshone every other "thrall" in terms of character build up.

I read this and I was taking notes on how I wish to write. "Two forlorn looking dump trucks, one that looked like it had angry sex with a blender" For fucks sake Tef, I wish I could write that well! This chapter you REALLY brought your A-game to bear. Absolutely top notch, character development, emotion, revelation, action, plot, relationships, and emotion.

"We're approaching the Alamak system" The word Alamak is a Malay expression of surprise or alarm, similar to Oh my God or WTF.

While it is a nice chapter, i prefer the original style.

Freemen

Loved it. Great back story and the girl's got this Pyro talent. Hot!

I see people complaining about this one. I think that's just because it's unfamiliar. Personally, I enjoyed seeing The Invictus' impact only from an external viewpoint for once.

A rating of 5 seems insufficient . .

Truly amazing

Hanz

You've done a great job as always, now we just gotta wait for the next chapter :)

Why? Why is it always 'George' that gets picked on?

LOL

GeoD

Now, back to the story...

So, the moment she had a crew I knew that those crew would have to either die or be absorbed into the John mythos. Given that they were all male and several were aliens of the more disturbing kind, I should have guessed it was an instant death sentence. I can see why you made the decisions you did when writing this, but I suppose I was hoping for you to subvert the cliche instead of playing full bore into it. Still, a very good chapter and very enjoyable read. I wouldn't be spending this much time analyzing the things I liked about it if I wasn't stuck staring at a hell of a cliff hanger.

I'm a bit disappointed about this chapter.

First theres a bunch of mercenarys who - at least parially - live on the edge of society by knowing more than the average citizen. John destroyed a mercenary band within the federation using a single ship - and we know rumors got out. How is it not a single Pirate ship realized "maybe not the smartest move to attack.."?

Imagine if Tashana had already met a Progenitor. Almost limitless possibilities! Story is getting mightly predictable here.

Also very disappointed her crew had to die. Classical red shirts :(

Generally its a problem that Johns crew is all girls and just keeps growing and growing. This would have been a good opportunity to split the crew, maybe leave Rachel + X to administer treatment to the slaves and then come back later with Tashanas Crew or something? If John wants to build his power base he has to begin spreading his girls more.

Oh well, hit some, miss some. I'm sure more awesome chapters are coming! Thanks Tefler!

Read it to fast. now the long 10/20 day wait til the next chapter. Total facepalm

Re: ms904191

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and yes, I missed writing from John and co's PoV as well!

Re: vn7199

Sorry you found the tales of Tashana's torments to be frightening! (although from a writer's PoV it's rewarding to hear the scenes evoked strong emotions!). This one was a bit darker than normal, but I figured that throwing a naïve young girl into a lawless wasteland wasn't going to end well...

I'm glad you liked the "angry sex with the blender" line!

Re: Ozkiwi

Thanks for the 5 stars, and I'm pleased you liked the change of pace in the chapter!

Re: Sid0604

Awesome, it's great to hear you liked it!

Re: Draco9881

No problem. It seems this one is a bit of a polarising chapter, but trying something a bit different is always a bit risky. It was fun to create new characters (and waste most of them!) just for a bit of a change.

Re: 1handslapping

I'm about half way through the next chapter, so hopefully you won't have too long to wait to find out!

Tefler

Thanks for the nice feedback! I tried to make the crew interesting enough to make them a bit different and hopefully grow on you by the time they met their end at Hades' hands.

Realistically, pirates and mercs wouldn't have the hardware to compete with regular TF military, let alone the powerhouse that is the Invinctus, or John and co on a ground mission. Rather than tell the story from their PoV where they just mow their way through the badguy chaff, I thought it might be interesting to see it from the other side! :-)

I'm pleased you liked Tashana too! I've been trying different things with Sakura and now Tashana to spice things up a bit, and her story is far from done!

Cheers for the kind words about the writing in this one. As I didn't have the banter between John and the girls to fall back on, I tried to be more descriptive of the various locations to compensate. The angry sex truck was a consequence of trying to make the descriptions more vivid! :-)

Tefler

GRAPHIC AUIDO . it would so rock when if tef ever realies this main stream along with the e-book

Re: Anons and WilsonMeister

Thanks for the comments, nice to hear you guys liked it!

Re: muze1602

I see what you did there with your pun. :-) Tashana should hopefully be an interesting character to write about in the upcoming chapters.

Re: Wildwood55

I just wanted something that sounded 'normal', and he was the new guy and they're always in for a ribbing. :-)

Re:Anon - Written into a corner

There was nothing really stopping me from letting her crew survive, but I chose to write it the way I did for a few reasons:

1) I wanted to highlight what a dangerous and shitty place the Unclaimed Wastes is, especially compared to the Terran Federation which can be bad enough at times. Killing the crew was one way of doing that (as well as Tashana's flashbacks).

2) They were opposites to the normal gang, with a female captain, and all male crew. Part of the reason for that was because there's loads of girls in the main cast, so I wanted to include some dudes just for a bit of variety.

3) I haven't killed off many named good guys yet, with the fighter pilots in the Battle of Regulus being the only real exception.

4) It was fun to write a last stand, and realistically Hades would have just wiped them all out rather than take prisoners. He only took Tashana alive to trade off with the Enshunu.

Tefler

loved this chapter, the change of pov was very well done

WRITE FASTER!!!

only kidding a little

this has become my favorite story series on the net, as a constant reader all I can say is thank you sir.

Sorry you were disappointed by the chapter!

To address your points:

1) How is it not a single Pirate ship realized "maybe not the smartest move to attack.."?

I've drawn up maps of the empires on my Patreon site, so I can understand how this isn't readily apparent. The Unclaimed Wastes is adjacent to the Maliri Regency, The Kintark Empire, and Drakkar Space and is a long way from Terran territory. It took the Invictus 10 days travel to get there cutting straight across Maliri Space (which mercs can't do). The Invictus is at least 3x faster than any merc ship in hyper-warp, which means it would take a minimum of a month and a half for a merc ship to reach the TF, and they'd have to brave Drakkar territory to get there!

Those mercs also operate exclusively in the Unclaimed Wastes. Groups like "The Ruiners" and "The Corpselords" aren't likely to be hired on by the image conscious Tetra-Cola execs for example. :-)

So the simple answer is, the merc ship captains hadn't heard of the Lion of the Federation before.

2) Imagine if Tashana had already met a Progenitor... Story is getting mightly predictable here.

Many people (on the Patreon site) actually predicted that very same thing! A popular theory was that Hades would be a progenitor. There's a specific reason why such a thing didn't happen, but it would also be a massive coincidence; that pretty much the only person who knows anything about Progenitors is exiled in an area of space where one happens to be lurking around! :-)

3) Also very disappointed her crew had to die.

They didn't have to, but I wanted to kill them all off for a few reasons (see previous post).

3) This would have been a good opportunity to split the crew

Actually in big engagements they get spread a bit thin:

Invictus crew: Calara/Jade/Irillith (guns/pilot/hacking)

Raptor pilot: Faye

Away team: John/Alyssa/Rachel/Dana (+ now Sakura)

With a few new cast members, it gives me a bit more flexibility for writing intense firefights.

We'll be back to the normal cast and style for chapter 72, so hopefully you'll enjoy that one more. :-)

Tefler

Really enjoyed chapt.71! Your work always exceeds expectations sir.

Breathlessly awaiting the next chapter!

I enjoyed the chapter Tefler.

I'm wondering how Tashana will integrate with the crew. Her fear of progenitors and hatred of her sister is going to be tough to overcome.

Dear Tefler,

Keep up the good work. I really liked the change of perspective in this chapter. You have managed to provide a lot of details into Tashana's suffering while filling in the travel time for the Invictus to arrive.

I did hope you would keep one or two of the crew, but the double cross was always going to be a dead end ;)

Keep up the good work. I will be sending you an invoice for the hour away from work

Another amazing job by Tefler

If you like his work and want him to write more often, like I do, you will help sponsor him.

In addition to getting chapters 5-7 days early, there is a whole lot of extra stuff that is not on Literotica including maps, regular dialogue with other Tefler-ites.

I feel sorry for her crew. I can see why they had to go. I thought that one of them was going to end up betraying her to Hades, glad that didn't happen. I was wondering how stable she was going to be after all that time one way or another. I honestly thought that her mom might have arranged for a buyer to keep her safe there. Does this mean that John has access to more Progenitor Tech. from the station? Nice ending on the story too.

You've outdone yourself yet again.

I am so glad you are willing to share your talent with the rest of us...

Love this story.....

As usual, I cant' wait for the next....:-)

I like what you did with this chapter, especially with Tashana's history. The flashbacks were natural enough, with enough "real-time" stuff in between to not feel like an info dump. And with as much history as she's got, if it'd all come out after she joined the ship and/or crew, there was a real danger of that happening. That, or being doled out in small doses for a long time to come.

It was also kind of fun to see the crew's actions from an entirely "outside" pov. Nice variety.

That said, it probably only worked so well because it was a regular cakewalk for the crew. If it had been a significant threat, requiring lots of tactical planning and whatnot, I don't think it would have been as satisfying-at least not without an after-action recap from the crew. And in that vein, I'd like to find out what exactly Irillith did, when she popped out of that view screen, since normally, spirit-walking has been invisible to anyone who's not also spirit-walking.

So, all in all, it was an interesting experiment, and a nice bit of variety, but I don't think it should become too regular a thing. Though it sounds like that isn't going to be an issue, based on your other posts.

Additionally, I had wondered how Tashana would react to John. In other words, did she know enough about progenitors to run the other way when she saw his ears. Or Irillith's white hair, whichever tipped her off to his nature first.

If it is adjacent to Kintark space why didn't they travel through Kintark space to the unclaimed wastes?

Dragon March where they started is on Kintark border.

I suppose I need to look at your maps because I kind of have a guess.

Good job on this chapter. It's good to see you stretching yourself as a writer.

Non-writers, generally, don't understand how difficult it is to introduce new characters, develop them, then kill-off them off and elicit regret & sympathy from readers. Especially in the middle of a story with such sympathetic, white hat, main characters when the new characters are not white hat types, NOR sympathetic.

In testament to your inate talent as a writer, and your impressively rapid development as an author, (writer and author not being mutually synonomous, in my opinion), you pulled it off superbly, as demonstrated by the comments:

- several commenters remorsed over the demise of Ashana's all male crew, even when the basis of the encompassing tale is a single male with an all female harem/crew AND it has been established the crew will always remain female.

- you stimulated a confession of one reader's fear.

- the overwhelming positive feedback over a complete reversal of your writing style, (a risky thing to do, for even the most experienced and talented authors, by the way).

- even the negative comments were not blasé, nor based on boredom. (Sometimes, negative reaction to work can be as important as positive, as long as the reader(s) don't stop reading.)

It's been exciting to see you develop your talent, and reassuring to someone, from an older generation, who reveres the written word, and worries about it's decline given the current emphasis in education, (especially in the US), and social media's corrosive impact.

Re: the title. You seemed to miss it in the first comment, so I close with...

Regards,

Geo(rge)D

PS

Enjoying the new orange and black toy?

G

loved it except for the cliff hanger...lol...

I think I may have spotted why the Enshunu know so much about Progens. If you remember one of the Ashanath pictographs: "The images showed a pointy eared humanoid, wielding what looked like a bulky staff, and slaying red skinned humanoid men with lightning bolts. As they followed the story conveyed by the pictures, the mysterious staff wielding character seemed to amass a throng of red skinned females."

And then in this chapter: "Those blood-red eyes stared cross-eyed at the deadly-looking pistol, and he yelped, "Tashana's a Maliri!""

Is it possible the Enshunu were the slave race of another deceased Progen? (This also hints at a war within that race which has been speculated on before.)

As far as this chapter is concerned, I am not sure some readers look into the craft of writing required of such a POV change and how well this parallel thread was intigrated into the storyline. It was awesomely done Tefler...cudos. I am an avid reader and I have to say, you did it better than Pulp Fiction, which was lauded for this literary device. You experimented and it worked flawlessly, I am beyond impressed with the skill you demonstrated in this chapter.

I am also a bit surprised no one noticed the lack of sex in this one....LOL.

Finally, Tashana has a split personality folks....AKA Gollum style in Lord of the Rings. That is not something easily addressed. This is much different than the psychological isolation in her own body that Sakura experienced as that alt personality really wasn't her.

Hope you all found this post worth the effort.

PLrUs

The different perspective was amazing. You get to see just how terrifying John and the girls are, from an enemies perspective. A pyrokinetic is a nice addition. I kind of don't want her to become John's full time lover. Because I was interested in her life as a smuggling captain.

Another brilliant chapter and I loved the change of perspective. Thanks for yet another cliff hanger too! NOT! :-)

What I cannot fathom is, with the amount of absolute garbage posted to this site that still seems to somehow attract the "Red H" rating, how on earth anybody with even the slightest appreciation for literary brilliance could rate this story at less than 5 stars for every chapter! It's a total mystery to me. If I could give this story ten out of five I'd still be shortchanging it.

I know it is big risk suddenly change writing style for chapter but it worked flawlessly. I also good to see John & his family to unlock new abilities. Thanks again for chapter Tefler

Your comments are always welcome. I enjoy reading your comments.

Really a different writing style and yet very effective and charming...

Can't believe that this is your first series.

Thanks again for a great chapter Tefler

Loved seeing the story from Malifica's point of view. It was a great way to keep the story fresh and expand the universe beyond John's white knighting adventures.

I was very curious how you were going to handle Tashana facing her sister and meeting John, and I was not disappointed. I think she may have passed straight past wounded little bird into broken little bird. Can't wait to see what's next.

I forgot to add, my one complaint might be that John & Company laying waste to people who were not hostile seemed excessively bloodthirsty. Pirates, slavers, rapists, and murderers are hardly sympathetic characters, and granted John built his reputation on wasting pirates, but it seemed very vigilante, "I am the law!" style, to slaughter large numbers of non-hostile people who made the mistake of being nearby. I'm not really on-board with the "judged by... themselves" justification for casually wasting them.

I think I'll be worried if it becomes a pattern to kill people because he doesn't like them, rather than those who are actively hostile. It may be a small (some will certainly argue nit-picky) distinction, but it is an important one to me.

Descriptive genius. How many changes of pace do you have up your sleeve? Great writing. Thanks for sharing.

I can almost see the complaint of justifying murder for just cleaning house.

Nope.

It has never been a case of John being a good guy.

He is very grey.

He is an extremely scary good enough.

He wants to be good even though it is not his nature.

He is a wolf, not a puppy dog.

Tefler, you surprised the heck out of me with the reverse PoV in this chapter, & then again at how smoothly you hook us into rooting for your damaged protagonist & supporting cast. Excellent craftsmanship. Thanks yet again for sharing this.

I get why you killed the support cast off, but can't help but wonder when or if you'll ever get a crew member whose normal body form isn't humanoid. You clearly have other options but haven't gone there yet.

Nitnoid - you had John & six on the ground, specifically including Alyssa & Irileth. Jade apparently stayed aboard (from Hades' comm call & no jade tiger sightings) so did Faye multitask Invictus' gunnery & the raptor, or what? Or did I botch my reading comprehension?

I look forward to the next cliffhanger & the continuing social stew you're cooking up!

PLrUs: IMO, there was plenty of sex in this chapter - in Tashana's flashbacks, all of which was of a seriously squicky nature. Engulfed by goo monsters & turned into a brood mare? KO'd to wake up bound & dp'd with no warning? Frankly glad they weren't spelled out in more detail!

If you remember grandma has a reputation for cooking enemies Tashanda got her warm personality traits and Irillith has developed an electrifying one can't wait for the next chapter

They are killing bad guys from early days. If you recall conversation between sakura & Alyssa

With an affectionate smile on her face, Alyssa replied, "He hates the thought of forcing you into something against your will, or the idea that you might regret a decision to join us. He's a good man, and he likes to help people, not harm them." She paused a moment, then clarified, "Apart from bad guys, we've killed thousands of those."

"What do you mean by 'bad guys'?" Sakura asked curiously.

With a bright smile, Alyssa replied with enthusiasm, "My definition is anyone who threatens our family, but John's a little more traditional. We've fought Pirates, Kirrix, Drakkar Raiders, kidnappers, murderers, rapists, the list seems endless... unfortunately the galaxy has plenty of evil shits who desperately need killing."

Telfer an observation and a bit of something to think about is Alyssa and Jade going to be shelved for John having a real set of twins to play with or is he going to get a blond foursome.

With Alyssa being a proven and not having to blindly follow what John wants may we see her deciding to start a family before John deams it time and gets the crew prefers before he realizes it?

1) Tashana keeping her shaved head would be hot and separate identity from Irrilith. Maybe John makes it permanent.

2) Killing off her crew was understandable. Bull had served with Tashana only 3 years, George was new so I can't imagine they would be completely loyal to Tashana in the future.

3) How did Tashana develop Eldritch pyro kinesis? When and what triggered it? That's a scary and powerful talent.

4) Should Tashana become a permanent member of John's crew? If she's mentally stable enough maybe she can take over as Queen of the Unclaimed Wastes especially if that rod turns on the rest of the defenses. If next to Maliri space maybe they become allies.

5) As for writing from other characters POV I didn't mind it in this case. I hope in chapter 72 there isn't much repeat from the Invictus' POV. A lot of authors when they try to extend series add characters and villains and write from their POV. Just read later David Weber novels. As a reader or film viewer I like to use this example, "I don't want to know what the shark is thinking. All I care about is what Brody, Quint and Cooper are up to."

re jlmn

what john did was not very vigilante it was called "saving your ass".what all the people know is that he could a weak human having some advanced weapons hunting hades.all the slavers and rapist won't think much to betray the trust.they could have thought to join hands with hades overpower john and get the reward from hades. unless he went to kill people for petty crimes u could not call it very vigilante

re:tefler

nice point but if tashana came across a projenator she could be enthralled already and john would have to break the bond between the old master and tashana

re:anon

if john would have to go through kintark space he could meet enemies which meant losing time on the travel so it is better to go through maliri space and also get the tracking data from his matriach.

re: pussylickerrus

He led John over to the first object, which was a series of massive stone tablets, inscribed with a primitive pictorial form of language. The images showed a pointy eared humanoid, wielding what looked like a bulky staff, and slaying red skinned humanoid men with lightning bolts. As they followed the story conveyed by the pictures, the mysterious staff wielding character seemed to amass a throng of red skinned females. There had clearly been more to the story, but the rest of the pictures had been sheared away from the crumbling stone edifice.

yep. Enshunu seems to be the slave race of another projenitor. They could have had a uprising like the maliri to free themselves or he would have let them free on terra formed world so that there could be more slaves to enthrall.but they seemed to have some kind of advanced weapons "sonic guns" to fight and they know more about the defense system on the underworld.

and they also mentioned the tablet was found ruins of industrial race.that could be the enshunus or the projenitors.

open question

i might have missed the part where fate of norwood is know but till know he seems to be missing.he was not present in the first battle where terrans betray the kintark forces as he was going to meet the grand prelate but he did not return to fight in the second battle also.kindly someone help me.

Well you make a good point man but there are several things you seem to be missing about John

1- he is not a human even if most of his life he has spent among them so judging and comparing his actions by human standards seem pointless and with ironclad beliefs of what action is wrong and what is right is kinda limited which won't help you understand his character fully

2- he is not a vigilante,he is a soldier who knows what laws are and what he is fighting for and it is not to kill people but to keep his family safe

Third and the most important point is he is in unclaimed wasteland a lawless region where there is no government thus no laws so he is not breaking any laws

It added a lot of texture to the story by making this chapter so different.

I have had many stories series that I burned out on because the author had something that worked and never stretched so it became bland.

Well done.

Enshunu being a slave race to another progenitor don't think so

they become a slave slave race

i think they may be before maliri

Enshunu may be akin to Maliri if the Progenitor become to dislike the voice and red skin so changed Enshunu into Maliri and then dumped the Enshunu elsewhere

As the Enshunu are covered like the Maliri reforces the idea of a slave race that does not want another progenitor finding them

Also the greys would not have a stone pic's if the red people belonged to another progenitor

Given the fact that Tashana/Malifica is Maliri it shouldn't have been a surprise that she would have survived in the wasteland in any way possible.

Why would anyone think that the presence of her sister who banished her to hell was going to be a loving reunion.

I think Tefler did a great job preparing us by painting Tashana as the person she was driven to be, to survive. No surprises there. Her crew needed to be eliminated to allow her to return home or join John's crew.

I just sit back and enjoy what Tefler gives us as HIS STORY develops from chapter to chapter.

Thanks Tefler, waiting for the next chapter

Paul

Hades sending Malifica/Tashana to get the brass rod after having her in his grasp.

The rationale is that she's best suited to do it without damaging it, but she's way too valuable to Hades as a swap for the defense upgrade, and he's clearly no dummy.

There's only five of them, she almost gets killed in the battle, which would have made the exercise futile, and he surely could come up with some other smugglers or mercs etc. that would be as effective. Or for that matter, skip the brass rod quest plot device altogether.

It allows for a nice fight scene so we see the crew in action, but her crew is killed by Hades in the end anyway, so I think you could have got to the same point in the larger story without introducing this false note.

Since this is a (minor) criticism I'll make it clear that I've been avidly reading and occasionally commenting for 71 chapters now, and jonesing for more. But IMO you should hear it when something's not quite right.

So when you introduced the Maliri, I immediately pictured them like the dark elves in Elder Scrolls. The blue skin and pointed ears are obvious markers, but also because there's a dark elf named Irileth in Skyrim. In fact I rather suspect that you were at least partially inspired by TES dunmer.

But Tashana and Irillith between the two of them keep making me think specifically about Inanna, the dark elf protagonist from the excellent (and sadly unfinished) series Hunting the Hunter, by Enithermon, here on Literotica (which I would highly, highly recommend to anyone interested in an extremely lore friendly and well written story set in the Elder Scrolls: Oblivion era). Their youthful beauty contrasted with their age and experience, their background in a very intricate and cold political landscape, their fragile emotional center shielded by a guarded and sometimes hostile exterior, even Tashana's instinctive mastery of fire, all remind me of Inanna. She was a fascinating character, and Irillith and Tashana are certainly fascinating too!

Hmmm the Enshunu like the Greys seem to have hunted for Ancient Tech. They do seem to be fixated on sex with all the sex murals that are woven into their culture.

At one point there seems to have been lots of Progenitors running around. Were the Enshunu race and their ancient progenitor were defeated by another? Only Tefler knows.

Did the Maliri the Maliri revolt or run away or did their progenitor die or lose interest in them? I mean is there another group of Maliri out there calling themselves something else still in service to a progenitor? Sort of like the Romulans and Vulcan of Star Trek fame. Did they had philosophical disagreement and split with one faction wanting to serve and one wanting to flee? I may have to go back and re-read some chapters. OH DARN :-)

I haven't seen the maps that Tefler made but unless they are 3-D sometimes a map can die something. I also doubt that the borders are all rectangles. And since John wanted has to drop off the prisoners from the sulfur mines in Human Space he had to make a detour anyway and from there it was probably faster to go the way he went or Alyssa would have gone the shortest route or at least asked him about it. Also to travel the way they travel they need star charts of some kind because they have to avoid plants and other obstacles and they might not have had the charts they needed.

I would think they would need to send probes and research ships to get the charts they needed or trade with other race for trade routes. Going out the first time would be slow but going back would be fast. I think of it like the old days of sailing ships when the maps and rutters that told of current and wind and weather could be sold for a lot of money and trade routes were protected viciously.

I meant maps can lie not maps can die. sigh.

How many freed slave girls do you think the Invictus will have aboard when they leave?

Doubling the crew would be interesting and a small number of the refugees eager to leave.

I really liked the way this presented the actions of the crew as seen by someone on the outside rather than their usual point of view.

Dang, this got long on me...

Re: AnonymousLucifer

I acknowledged up front that John got his start wasting pirates.

Re: vn7199

I don't think they masses were likely to join up and protect Hades. After all, this station has been passed from group to group repeatedly. The people in the docking bay and market would have shrugged this off as yet another take over attempt. As far as the traders were concerned, their interest is in keeping their heads down and go back to trading when the turf war is settled.

From Merriam-Webster:

vigilante: a member of a volunteer committee organized to suppress and punish crime summarily (as when the processes of law are viewed as inadequate); broadly : a self-appointed doer of justice

That sounds a lot like what happened in this chapter. The fact that they are in a lawless region and unlikely to be brought to (non-existent) justice argues in my favor. :)

To me, killing someone who is attempting to kill you is justifiable. Even if you started the fight, as John and Co. usually do, I'm OK with it when it is:

1. Helping the helpless, and

2. They are actively hostile.

No, I haven't forgotten about Rachel's run in with pirates. I wasn't OK with that either, but neither were John and the girls. They had planned to capture the pirates and bring them to actual justice. This chapter is a big departure from

then.

On the other hand, killing a murderer who is not an active threat is still murder. At one point, Hades is able to see from above that people were being herded back into the killing zone when they tried to flee. There is no way to construe those people as active threats.

Actually, I can't help wonder if PJ is back and finding ways to subtly push John's buttons in ways that advance PJ's domination agenda.

In the end, my only point is that _I_ was bothered by what seemed like, in my mind, needless killing.

Face off between an electrifying personality (Irillith) and an extremely warm personality (Tashana). Hahaha! Already itching for the next chapter. Don't know if I should be happy or sorry for John.

Wildcat, thanks for the interesting POV.

A couple of gems I picked up on.

“Underworld was not a complete enigma however; there was one person in the Unclaimed Wastes who knew exactly who'd built it. Such knowledge belonged in her past though, one that had been brutally stripped from her, along with her innocence.”

And “she marvelled that the robust structure was still standing after nearly seventy millennia.”

Clearly, this is reference to a progenitor origin No?

Mal

I am more excited about them getting to the shipyard. Hopefully they deck out the lounge to the extreme and build a huge shower. The shipyard should last at least five or six chapters.

Don't know what to say about Tashana. It is hard to erase thirteen bad years.

Good job as always definitely need to think about going mainstream

I enjoyed the POV change. What I liked most about this particular chapter is how the crew of the Invictus beat down the rag-tag hive of villainous scum like it was their job, with no hand wringing whiny angst. Now maybe the bad guys were a bit over written as being Bad so that the reading audience could enjoy their deaths...but it worked for me.

I have no idea how you are going to keep writing a coherent story with engaging characters when you keep adding to the harem, but I will enjoy seeing how you manage it. Somehow I suspect you will pull it off.

I'll be honest, I had a bit of trouble getting through the first chapter of this story but I got pulled in. I still don't like some of the characters (John primarily) but the writing is really decent. Dialogue is good, pacing is good, sex scenes are good even if one isn't into the whole inflation thing, character building is sound, particularly with the sheer amount of characters being juggled. Plus you churn it out, and while quantity does have a quality all it's own, your overall quality doesn't seem to suffer from your pace. That is fairly rare in my experience. There are a lot of people that could write a decent story given enough time, but there aren't many that really pump out a lot of content and keep it decent.

My absolute biggest problem with this entire story is how the constant power-ups should be getting absurd...but I like them. That isn't right. But keep doing it.

Tefler i love your stories and wish tgey were mire frequent

I picture all this in my head like guardian of the galaxie

Just great stuff man

Oh great a cliff hanger!!! I have hugely enjoyed the whole story.................. thank you and please continue with it.

Irrilith and Edraele are going to be heartbroken when they see how their cruelty was paid for by Tashana.

Here we go:

Hey, everyone! Literotica has started their annual Special Categories contest for 2016, and among the categories is Most Influential Writer. I and several others (thanks folks!) have nominated Tefler for this category, and I hope more will too, as well as for any of the other categories. You can find information about the contest and the categories here: http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1406122

You'll need an account to submit a nomination, and if you already have one to post comments on Tef's stories here, it'll work for the Lit forums where the nominations happen. Limit one nomination per account for each category. Authors can nominate themselves, but it only counts for half a vote; might as well do it, Tef, half a point can make a world of difference! The more nominations for Tefler, the better! Hurry, nominations end March 31, 2017!

P.S. Hopefully we can do this again next year, with Tefler winning two years in a row! Wouldn't that be awesome?

P.P.S. Yeah, I know, not really a comment, but I've kinda run out of things to say about this story at the moment, so why not campaign to have Tefler recognized for his greatness?

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1406122

Due to the way Lit formats these comments, the address is messed up a little: it puts a space between the 1 and 2 in the address above. It should be ...t=1406122, not t=14061 22. When copy-pasting, be sure to remove the space.

Brilliant, I could only wish the chapters were even longer.

I just ran out of story and I am about to have withdrawal symptoms please hurry and get the next chapter out

Paps

Now that Tashana has been rescued (Invictus' crew POV) or capture (Tahana's POV) there are several things that should happen..

1) Tashana has to be shown that John is not the despotic tyrant that her researches showed the typical progenitor to be, but is more of a benevolent mentor. Jade, with her slave background, and Sukara because of her history of abuse at the hands of the master assassin would, I think, be the primary persons in this. Faye may also have a role to play here. Tashana found the vambrace that held her programming and passed it on to Irilith. This led to it being brought on board the Invictus and enabled the events that brought about Faye's present life. Faye will know this. We have Irilith, the creator and Tashana, the life giver, (albeit indirectly). The life giver aspect would give Faye a reason to connect with Tashana and Faye's personality would help to seal the connection. How much would Alyssa's spirit walking and the Maliri genetic coding help?

2) Have Tashana regain her trust in Irilith. This would run in parallel to the first objective and involve all the crew.

3) Prepare Tashana for the new Edraele

4) Perform Tashana's healing. Given the insights John got when resurrecting Jade, restoring Calara's hand after the assassination attempt and reconstructing Sakura hen her implants were removed can he now prioritise the healing sequence? If he can, then going on the information given in this chapter, Tashana's face should come first. With regards to Tashana's mental healing I think a two pronged attack will be used with John toning down the intensity of the traumatic memories and Alyssa, via spirit walking, helping Tashana to put gated barriers round them. Tashana would still be able to access the memories but it would be as and when she wanted or needed that access. Also because they were toned down they would not be as over whelming.

5) Define Tashana's role. She will either become one of the Invictus' crew or she will take on the task of being Edraele's 2i/c. As a crew member she could have a role as research archivist and also a place on the assault team as a third melee fighter or a third attack psychic. I discount Irilith here because the conditions under which she can unleash her electrokinesis seem to be rather specialised. If Tashana looks at the Unity Files and the material on John's mother will her knowledge of Progenitors enable her to spot things the others have missed? Would she need to enlist the services of John and/or Alyssa to regain that knowledge?

As Edraele's 2i/c I see two possibilities the first being Edraele remains Valaden House Matriarch and the other being that Edraele stands down as House Matriarch in favour of Tashana. In both cases Tashana and the other House Matriarchs link to Edraele as Sub-matriarchs with the Valaden thralls having their links to Edraele transferred to Tashana and thralls from other houses link to their respective House Matriarchs.

Some of this will be resolved in the next chapter but there is too much to be done to resolve everything in the four or five days it will take to get to the meeting with Edraele. I am looking forward to finding out how Tefler handles this.

On a totally different tack I noticed a post suggesting the Enshunu, like the Maliri, had been enslaved by a progenitor which, I think, was sat on and discounted. I think that the Maliri-Enshunu progenitor war scenario could work. We know from this chapter that for at least one system in the Unclaimed Wastes what is now an asteroid belt was a life bearing planet. We also know that the progenitors looked on their thralls as cannon fodder and also if need be could and would sacrifice them to replenish their own psychic power

I imagine the Maliri and Enshunu progenitors expanding their territories towards each other then when they meet border disputes arise which escalate into all out war. Slaves on both sides are killed faster than they can be replaced, a result of conventional fighting and sacrifice by the progenitors. When the inevitable happens and they run out of slaves they both conclude, after an internal debate that they can overcome the other and withstand anything thrown at them. They are both right and wrong in this. Right insofar as they can each kill the other one and wrong insofar as they cannot withstand what the other can throw at them. Result: Bye-bye progenitors.

Jlmn “I forgot to add, my one complaint might be that John & Company laying waste to people who were not hostile seemed excessively bloodthirsty.” and “it seemed very vigilante, "I am the law!" style, to slaughter large numbers of non-hostile people who made the mistake of being nearby.“

Jlmn, I respectfully disagree with you. I do not equate not being hostile at the moment to not being hostile to the weak when the chance arises. But then, I support the death penalty for capitol crimes. By your logic, no one could ever be executed for dismembering innocent children because they are not hostile at that moment.

My view is: If they have done crimes against the innocent that deserve the death penalty....so be it. Athena is in a unique position to know that through reading their memories rather than just feelings of guilt. And, as a T-Fed officer out in space, he actually IS the law (maritime law on Earth supports this as well).

Anon: It really was her fault.

“Irrilith and Edraele are going to be heartbroken when they see how their cruelty was paid for by Tashana.”

Edraele is still under John's control. If he tells her it is not her fault and to let it go, she will. Irillith is a different matter, though. I suspect she will have some issues that only forgiveness will ameliorate.

Draco9818 “Edraele remains Valaden House Matriarch and the other being that Edraele stands down as House Matriarch in favour of Tashana. In both cases Tashana and the other House Matriarchs link to Edraele as Sub-matriarchs with the Valaden thralls having their links to Edraele transferred to Tashana”

I think that is a very interesting idea. Not sure Tashana want's to rule, though. And it would seem Tefler has plans for Tashana on the Invictus since they already made a station for her. I am thinking more along the lines that the three weeks between getting to the shipyards, John and company's interactions with the Maliri, John releasing the compulsion to obey with Edreale and the others and the restructuring of Maliri society John has instituted, will eventually win over Tashana and she will become part of the crew.

I see a major issue with getting Tashana to take the first load from John to have her body healed. That will be a monumental leap in trust of with which she may have difficulty.

Happy Birthday Tefler!

(Someone call the fire department and tell them the smoke is from the candles.)

I see a major issue with getting Tashana to take the first load from John to have her body healed. That will be a monumental leap in trust of with which she may have difficulty.

I agree that Tashana will find it hard to trust John and that gaining it will be more than a five minute job. However the Invictus' crew have several factors in their favour the big one being the Maliri genetic coding. There is also the rescues and the way John interacts with the crew that show him to be a non stereotypical progenitor. Next we have the before and after for Alyssa, Dana and Sakura, together with the pile of junk removed from Sakura. The final piece which may or may not fit into the puzzle is Alyssa spirit walking to enter Tashana's mind in order to help her control her traumatic memories.

I also agree that Tashana is most likely going to join the Invictus' crew but felt that the other option was worth exploring.

Agreed Tashana will be hard

there also the cancer in her head or lump thats getting worse the more she uses the psi powers

Can Dana PLEASE be the one to convince Tashana to join the crew, because of the whole scar thing?

That would be such a funny and profound scene.

"I refuse to listen to you, to allow myself to become some mindless obedient sheep!"

"Really, you think I'm the one wanting to manipulate you into joining us? You're the only thing between me and John for two straight weeks. I've got half a mind to push you away from us i could just... Oh hell yeah...."

"Oh, and I suppose that would be the half of your brain located in your crotch you damned- wait. Are you drooling?"

Also, on a side note, Tashana would and should probably try to break out of the Invictus a few times. If she caught one of the girls on her own and off guard, she could probably give any of them a run for their money.

holy crap! loved the new style. hated that i didn't get to see much of the crew. but, wow. good job!

this is why I come back every week... don't stop. harder, yes please!

WOW!

Hell of a way to introduce -Tashana to all your readers...Excellent Teff...Outstanding...you the man...

... BLOW HIM!!!!

Show this^ to your partner.

Great job, as always. Did you skip over the visit to edrael? Or did I miss it?

Hi Tef,

OMFG! Boom there go my socks blown off into uncharted space!

Stacey x

PS Zero G football? London jets playing by any chance?

It will be interesting to see how john and company deal with it. Last time they were unaware of Alyssia's real potential but so was the creature.

If John weren't so honorable it would be easy to heal her by putting her in a medical comma and having Jade feed her like she did when Shakura was under the knife. She would wake up physically healed and they would still have to heal her mental scars. I don't see this happening because well John is John about free will and making their own choice. I do think the mental scars are going to be enormously harder to heal. I think Telfer set up an opportunity for some very good dialogue and drama. I don't know who would be "best" to bond with her. Dana had the whole scarring thing but not anywhere nearly as badly as Tashana. Irilith is her sister but given what has happened between them I don't see them kissing and making up anytime soon. Jade was a slave for lots longer and survived that might be a connecting point. Faye is an AI but she might not trust her "programming". Sakura was a slave and jailed in her own body and has some horrible memories too. Rachel as ships doctor might be able to talk to her but I don't know if they would have any points of connection. Alyssa and Dana have the whole fighting to survive growing up.

I almost thing John has the best chance just by being what he is and the effect he will have on her just being in the same room but I am guessing she will fight that as hard as she sister did as well as having panic attacks just being in the same room with him.

As he what she will specialize in once she joins. No clue, maybe she will take over as Captain of Johns flag ship and give him time for Rear Admiral things. Other than Kirk I don't think most admirals captain their own ship. LOL plus it would be funny when she took over.

Btw how is the next chapter coming ?????

Any update ????

I dont think it be Dana as she needs to research the station while they get Tashana to join them plus dont forget the guys that are after Tashana will be at the fuel station soon.

the question i do have about the fuel station is this if yje plus used to be a progenitor station why is it so big ?

first assume that the pirate station isn't progenitor tech. If it was races would have been seriously fighting over it for years, rather than leaving it to a bunch of pirates. Lets instead see it as evidence there was a serious civilisation about at the time the last progenitor was obviously about in the universe,10,000 years ago. If we combine this with the local area being deserted/empty, perhaps this is the region depicted on the Ashanath pictures.

As a possible further detail, perhaps in a final battle the progenitors ship was horribly damaged, and his thralls and matriarch killed. Maybe an emergency wormhole jump is what left his broken ship stuck on the planet where Johns mother found him. without Thralls his ability to self repair would be limited,and he might have ended up in suspended animation to survive if badly injured himself.

As to who managed to bring down the mighty Prog, I'd suggest maybe the Malari. Why? well firstly, while he had a thoroughly handy race of warrior women, all of a sudden he needs the Drakkar to do his fighting for him, and they were a rush job. Secondly, the design of the Nymphs not to use guns. It suggests a fear of slave revolt.

Now if the Malari matriarchs were progenitor matriarchs, this couldn't happen, as after they'd be in mental contact to supply healing, and would instantly put together a rescue fleet. maybe the Eldritch genes gave enough resistance for the Malari to try and remove the blight on the local space, and with luck rescue their civilisation.

I wait to be proven spectacularly wrong

tashana and illirith will argue in Maliri dialect..

Interesting, We know Underworld is not Progenitor tech. It dates back 70,000 years so was it before anything we currently know about Mael'nerak which dates back to 45,000 or so. We do not know much about the Achonin yet. They inhabited the sector and then were gone. Was this 50,000 years ago or 10,000. Are all the asteroid debris is what is left of the Achonin inhabited planets? Are the Enshunu descendants of the Achonin? Was this Mael'nerak's first conquest in the area and then he started what we have knowledge of and then something else happened around 10,000 year mark?

For the answers to these questions and more, stay tuned boys and girls!!!!

PLR you should have only 5 and of medium length. But yes, the birthday message doesn't count. Whitewhalehunter

That was something. Getting to know that little crew and then... Not that I didn#t expect it, but it was like a little story within the story. Interesting way to spice things up and offering an outside perspective on John and the girls going to town. I liked that as well.

Of course, now it's back to waiting again right when things get interesting. As always. Probably because things constantly get interesting. Entertainingly frustrating. Or frustratingly entertaining?

I've been quietly thinking about Tashana taking Edraele's place as well. She is a decent match age and personality wise for the other matriarchs that Edraele has recruited to her "House Blake" initiative, and that would seem to go for Tsarra Perfaren as well, if/when Edraele convinces her to join up. (Well, Tashana's old, bookish personality. Maybe not anymore, but this chapter gave hints (or possibly wishful thinking) that her old personality wants to come back out)

I think the the premature construction of the bridge station is a red herring, trying to convince readers that Tashana is about to join up, only to surprise us when she declines.

If someone is going to convince Tashana to join the crew, I think it almost has to be Faye. Everyone else is a thrall, and therefore can't be trusted. Even though John has released the compulsion portion of being a thrall, Tashana doesn't know that and wouldn't be able to trust being told. The fact that Faye is wildly in lust with John would argue against it, but Tashana doesn't know that, and in the unlikely event she found out it could count in favor of joining. It's unclear how the Maliri feel about AIs (despite being considerably more technically advanced than the Terrans, they still don's use AIs that we've seen. At the same time, Tashana gave the vambrace to Irillith as a friendly gesture, knowing it contained an AI, rather than destroy it), but being the AI from the vambrace may help as well.

If it is one of the filthy organics, I think it would have to be one of Alyssa, Rachel, or Sakura. Irilith is right out because Tashana hates her. Calara and Dana are nice enough, but not particularly emotionally nurturing by nature. Jade's personality would be good for drawing Tashana out, but she is a Nymph. If Tashana is at all familiar with the species, she would know that Jade's opinion is compromised even more than a thrall generally would be.

Sakura could bond with Tashana over being slaves and encourage Tashana joining in order to fight back, but I'm uncertain if Sakura's personality is going to be nurturing enough (I don't have a good feel for her yet). Rachel's personality is at least somewhat nurturing, could potentially connect with Tashana over Rachel's mother's death, and as the ship doctor is in the best position to get a foot in the door to draw Tashana into conversation. Alyssa seems to take the mothering/nurturing part of the title Matriarch seriously, and encourages growth in the others even at Alyssa's expense. The downside for Alyssa is that being Matriarch makes her even more compromised than the others from Tashana's POV (assuming that Tashana knows/is told that Alyssa is Matriarch).

An interesting question would be how John would fair in convincing her. She is terrified of progenitors, but the Maliri predisposition towards progenitors works against her. Does she have the will to hold out the way Irilith did? (albeit only for a handful of days to reach Valaden)

Of course, if Tashana does join that's two more weeks before Dana gets her second go at the two week "all you can suck" buffet, which will drive her nuts.

all the victims of the slavers? Where will he bring them? Maybe call for a terren ship for a transfer. That would buy some time to deal with Tashana. Keep up the great chapters Tefler, waiting for the next one.

No way in hell should Tashana replace Edreale as the House Valaden Matriarch. Tashana must join the Crew of John to fulfill his Dream of Twins Lovers. EDREALE is the perfect Ruler and she love John with or without the Compulsion. Why would Tashana want to rule, she is more interested in exploring after John heal her with his Cum.

I don't think that Tashana is going to join at first and I think she is goingto go back to malari space. I don't think John is going to heal her either. Rachel has the knowledge to make sure the scars are fixed. I think that John is going to let Rachel fix the genetic compulsion and scars and then join them to find out about the planet johns mom found then she joins them