All Comments on 'Three Square Meals Ch. 096'

Thanks for being such a devout writer... Wish the timetable was faster but that's me just being greedy!

Best wishes Kronos

Can’t wait to devour this and anxiously wait for the next chapter.

-SD

Many people have been complaining about how the Terran Admiralty suddenly turned stupid and started reading John. I think they have misread the Admirals. They have grown up in that militarized culture were might make right, they have followed the example of previous High Command in aggressive expansion were ever possible, with interplanetary agreements as ways to increaseor maintain their power and territory.

High Command took large chunks of Ashanna territory centuries ago, they got into anshooting war twice with the Brimorians over territory and the were manipulated into a war with the Kintark Empire over territory because that is what they always do. They attack whenever they can. The only time they don't is when the war would be to costly or weaken them on other fronts. In a sense they are playing a strategy game like Total War or Hearts of Iron.

Even their ship names give us an insight into their mindset. The Retribution of Zeus, The Vengeance of Hear, Thor's Hammer. They believe themselves to be gods with a divine mission to expand and become stronger. It is most similar to ancient Earth history. Roman, Persian, Egyptian, Viking or later like Napoleon or 19th century European countries.

All the main empires have these political flaws. The Ashanna are pacifists to the point of eventual extinction, the Trankarrans cannot deal with a crisis, the Malari are so insular that new ideas or technologies will pass them by, as well as having a self destructive culture, the Drakkar are so war-like that they can never unite (without a Progenitor to guide them) and the Kintark Emperor is so prideful, arrogant narcacistic that he would have eventually lead his Empire to either civil war or against someone so strong who would crush them.

John is going to have his work cut out for him.

This isn't a critique of Tefler's world building, every Empire had flaws. If the story had no intentional flaws then it would be pretty boring.

Dammit now I want 97!! Weber is gonna get so F#$%ed up....lol

Tbh, I skipped over most of it. I kept waiting for the moment John finds out about the invasion but I guess it'd make sense for it to be in the next one. That nympho scene with Nyrelle was amazing, though. Holy crap, that got me going!

Tefler, that chapter formula you mentioned was a welcome insight. I can relax a bit knowing that the action will pick up very soon. I was so anxious to see the battle play out that I've been refreshing your submitted page all day yesterday and today. I'm sure the suspense will pay off. Dividing this chapter between each of the girls and the various plot lines was a good move to build that suspense.

But here's the thing.

I am getting pretty tired with this fixation that the girls are 18. I'm sick to death of seeing a huge chunk of Literotica stories bump right up against that number because it's the youngest allowed. Ffs, it's ok to make them older. John's fixation with "nubile 18 year olds" sounds creepy as fuck. Like, technically legal pedo. "Robbing the cradle" isn't a joke if he keeps doing it again and again.

Ditto with the copy/paste body type. It makes no sense for an immortal man to have all his girls stick to one identical morphology. He WILL get bored. Yes, he can change it at any time, but goddamn is it getting old. The girls have unique characters, but only in personality. This is Literotica. Variety is the spice of life and conformity is dull and boring.

Something I've been meaning to mention for awhile now is my concern that John and his girls have way too much plot armor. With the exception of Jade that one time, it seems like all they get is a few injuries and bounce back quickly. It gives the story an unbalanced and unrealistic feel. My suspension of disbelief has been struggling for some time now. I keep expecting the other shoe to drop, but nope! John can do no wrong!

That said, I also have a feeling that will be changing fairly soon. With a conflict of this magnitude and the shockwaves from the aftermath, it seems like a near-certainty that SOMETHING *-sharp glare-* serious will happen. I really hope it does, because if John & co. make it through this completely/mostly unscathed as has been the norm thus far, I don't think I'll be nearly as jazzed for new chapters or even be able to keep following the series.

"Oh look, John just annihilated another massive force against all odds and saved the day once again with relatively minimal losses/damage. Man, that media performance was completely flawless as usual and did nothing but boost his reputation even higher as the ultimate paragon. What an incredible inspiration this totally invulnerable superman is. Woooo....."

That trend needs to end SOON. It's boring and completely unrealistic, no matter how many superpowers and tech advantages there are. Yes, they got hammered last time, but that was due to shitty discipline on Sakura's part. They wouldn't have taken anywhere near that much damage, if any, if she hadn't. Yes, the matriarch link got severed, but that was a simple fix. "Oh no, John got suuuper tired!"

Maybe you really like writing a character like him because you don't like other protagonists making obvious mistakes. Like this is your chance to get it right with the perfect hero. I get that; it's something I really want to do with my own characters. Thing is, it's just not realistic or fun to read if everyone knows the hero is going to win in the end. It's boring. Why would people want to read a story like that?

Character development is really difficult to achieve if there aren't major crises that rock the hero to their core. I've been painfully aware of this and have had to take things in uncomfortable directions, to say the least. After all, how can the reader empathize with the protagonist(s) if they don't suffer like we do? Most of that I already knew and confirmed it when I read "Worlds of Wonder: How to Write Science Fiction & Fantasy" by David Gerrold, but he had many good insights, tips, and lessons. I'd recommend every sci-fi/fantasy writer read it.

Tef, I really like this story. Please don't ruin it by having untouchable heroes. Close calls won't cut it for much longer.

How is John Blake going to find out about Tartarus? Because this can not stand how it is. The admirals have what? 3 live lenarrans, 2 dead ones and the TTFN reporter?

But as always, five stars cuz you're still the best here. Keep up the good work!

I'm going to start off by saying I understand your points. In many stories that possibility that the characters might bite the dust is a really good plot hook( GoT comes to mind.) But I have always read this story the same way I watch Marvel movies, with villains that have just enough of a story to make the "Big Battle" fluff piece exciting, but the real draw is the way the protagonist(s) grows as a person by rising to the challenge presented and dealing with the fallout of his actions.

As for the point on the girls age, let's look at how he came to know them. He takes sexual advantage of a stowaway, gains his powers, pulls stowaways friend from her home, rescues and then sleeps with multiple girls, and literally imposes himself into the lives of the Maliri. All while stealing tech from every race he comes across. It wouldn't take to much of a gift for writing to turn John into the antagonist of the story when you leave all the details and the mental conflict out. (Tangential side note, kinda want a story from Black Ship Progenitor point of view where he is an observer/guardian of this section of the galaxy trying to keep a balance amongst all the races with the upstart Terrans being a major pain in the ass and this damn kid of an enemy that's supposed to be dead going around and screwing with the balance that took MILLENNIA to achieve.)

Last big point, the copy/paste body type. The Maliri are already like this and all the humans were converted(except Sakura) before he was aware of it. Can he change the "stock" body type? We really don't know, maybe it's something that he can do, maybe it's something that he would have to confront his Progenitor side to prove that he's in control enough to work with differing body types. We've already seen that he has to be careful with the Glowing Queen so that he doesn't change her into something she or her people would possibly reject.

That's just a few of my thoughts on the story. BTW Tefler, awesome job and thank you for the wonderful story.

Hey Tefler

plz note, the reason your story has survived for so long is because people love happy endings and want the hero to bounce back! THATS CAUSE THEY HOPE IT HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE. So I'm completely against turning the story into some Shakespearen tragedy just to satisfy horned lizards malfunctioning suspension of disbelief. Just so your story can confirm some shitty sense of realism where bad guys get the upper hand and apparently all good guys need to struggle. Please! the hero of this story has had his fair share of struggle and he is hardly sailing through unscathed! HELLO, the ship was damaged and everyone on the crew has been hurt! How much more suffering do you want you insufferable cold blooded lizard?!

stop telling tefler to ruin the story JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE BAD SUSPENSION!

Spock

Hey Tefler Ignore horned_lizard comments. Dont kill girls just to satisfy some peoples.

"I am getting pretty tired with this fixation that the girls are 18"

You make it sound like the entire crew is that age. Alyssa was, because she was a young orphan who stowed away on his ship. Sparks was her friend and fellow orphan, and Alyssa befriended then recruited Calara and Rachel. It made sense that they were all about the same kind of age.

The main cast of women in the story are:

Alyssa, Dana, Calara: 18

Rachel: 19

Jade: 10k+

Sakura: 20/95 (Physical/Chronological)

Tashana/Irillith: 52

Jehanna: 26

Edraele: 162

So less than a third are 18 years old (far less if you include the Maliri assassins and Young Matriarchs).

"it's ok to make them older."

This advice is 2 years out of date. All the teenagers were introduced in the first 6 chapters, the rest of the cast are considerably older.

"It makes no sense for an immortal man to have all his girls stick to one identical morphology."

It wouldn't for a Terran, but John is a Progenitor, so normal human male psychology does not apply. Progenitors use slave armies of enthralled women and making them all look the same is important for two purposes:

1) So they can all use the same gear.

2) Making them all physically the same is psychologically like making them interchangeable (and hence disposable). John doesn't treat the girls that way because his circumstances are different, but he's still strongly attracted to a certain body type.

"Variety is the spice of life and conformity is dull and boring."

There are literally hundreds of thousands of stories on literotica about a guy dating girls with different body types. As far as I know, this is the only story when girls swallow the protagonist's cum and all adopt the same body type. Ironically, what you're asking me to do is get rid of one of the unique facets of this story and conform to every other story in literotica.

That aside, Faye, Jehanna, and Niskera all differ from the standard template.

"The girls have unique characters, but only in personality."

Which was my aim. To create a harem of girls where it's primarily their personality

that sets them apart, not their body type.

"it's just not realistic or fun to read if everyone knows the hero is going to win in the end."

I never thought Indiana Jones, Luke Skywalker, or Frodo Baggins were going to die, but the danger they were in still made their stories exciting. Ironically, killing off Han Solo in the Force Awakens wasn't a brave storytelling move and it didn't add anything valuable to the story. It was just an obvious sop to a whiny and ungrateful old man, who wouldn't be in the movie unless they killed off the character that made him famous.

I'm not writing Game of Thrones. Killing off characters all over the place is not the ultimate tool of a writer to make a story engaging. Don't get me wrong, I like GRR Martin's work, but he's killed so many characters that I just don't care about half the cast now, because I know they're all disposable and it's not worth my time getting invested in them. He has his favourites, like John Snow, Tyrion Lannister, and Daenerys Targaryen... all his bloodletting has just highlighted the shiny plot armour they're protected by.

TSM is basically an uplifting tale of good v evil set in a bleak and gritty universe. It would be very easy for me to make this story take an extremely nasty turn (like chapter 71), but the vast majority of my readers aren't looking for that. When I killed Jade in chapter 60, I received scores of emails from fans begging me not to do something like that again.

"Close calls won't cut it for much longer."

The main cast are not invulnerable as I've proven with all the close calls that you casually dismiss. A close call in this story isn't someone ducking a laser blast, it's Calara getting her arm blown off in an explosion, or Dana getting impaled by a docking claw. I think that kind of thing still has dramatic tension, because in those circumstances John wasn't able to heal them.

It's a dangerous universe and any of them could easily get killed.

Tefler

I thought like niskera..alyssa Can sense jehannas moods/ feelings after having John feeding her first time..i was hoping Alyssa felt jehannas fear and hopelessness over her bond and John Will Be Racing to terra in This chapter. Why didnt Alyssa sensed niskera and not jehannas fear tefler!!!!

"i was hoping Alyssa felt jehannas fear and hopelessness over her bond"

Unfortunately, a girl has to swallow three times to create an empathic bond with Alyssa. Jade, Niskera, and all the Maliri linked to Edraele are operating under a different set of rules... :-)

Tefler

Tefler, I for one applaud your story development and speed that you are turning out these complex chapters. I really did not expect Ch 96 to appear until after the first of the year. Unlike most of the serial stories on Literotica I have invested time and appreciation for the world you have built. Too often I have gotten bored with other stories because I have not been moved enough to invest the time in continuing to read. Much like I think the authors themselves do when they abandon serial stories. I am amazed that you continue to build and expand the world of John Blake without any dropoff in interest or quality of story and characters. It's not a cut and paste, change a few words in a chapter and call it a day and on to the next chapter. Please do not change a thing. Continue to grow. The story lines developing now are fascinating. For instance I can not wait for John and Jade to find out about Weber's secret base and how they will utterly destroy those who have harmed or killed the remaining Lennarns. That on top of the upcoming war. TSM continues to be a fascinating ride. Keep up the great work Tefler. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family!

I agree with you tefler about the story, I don't want to read about the deaths of characters that I care for. The death of Jade was bad enough, brought tears to my eyes, and has every time I read the series again while waiting on the next chapter and I have reread it 5 times since the first of this year. From your comments it seems you do use some fan ideas on tech and maybe story lines when they fall in line with the story you are telling, please don't alter your story from the direction you have been going. I for one like good winning over evil, your battle scenes are incredible, and for me the personal relationships between John and his girls are very important, just like in real life otherwise they fail. From the comments I read I feel a large percentage of your fans feel the same. Continue YOUR story the way you have been and as always I'm looking forward the next 100 chapters or hopefully more. Thanks for the best story on this or any other site, mikecfl.

Tefler , I made my earlier comment before reading horned lizards comment and now I'm pissed. He can stop reading now because he won't be missed. As i have said before I've been an avid reader most of my life and your talent and this story compare to anyone out there. Those that think the same as that person are FEW. I love this story and your ability. Continue on. Thanks again mikefl

This will surely come back to bite them in the ass, once john and the girls realise they can't reach her they will come storming in.

Horny, ever hear it's not the destination that matters its the journey. Just knowing that they will survive is not important. It's how the f*k they get out of the mess and onto the next one that makes it so much fun, and tefler is a master at the journey and interwoven plots. Keep up the amazing work tefler.

It was so much less frustrating when I first found TSM, when there were already 93 chapters. Plenty of backlog to rip through in one go...for a week!!! Who needs sleep?!? ("No you're never gonna get it"...) ;p

Kill anyone psychically linked to John, and I'll quit reading...until the next chapter is posted. (Throw Charles in for good measure.) But seriously, I could give a rats ass about whiny little bitches who don't understand "willing" suspension of disbelief. ("I do not think that word means what you think it means.")

@ Ashanath being pacifists

Tefler, correct me if I'm wrong, but if they were truly pacifists, NONE of their ships would be armed, in anything even remotely like a weapon. Much less spending the time and resources to rebuild the Legacy. They are just a cerebral, deliberate, and almost naively hopeful race. Granted, they should have just spanked the human race and sent them to their rooms with no dinner, rather than retreating for centuries.

At some point, enough is enough, even if you had to have them give up Lanarra so John could meet Jade, and eventually become a Progenitor with a cause, or six. Repopulate the Nymph race, save the Maliri, Ashanath and Trankarans from themselves, and send the Humans to their rooms with no dinner, until they learn not to bully their older siblings being the spoiled baby of the family! In essence, pick up the orphaned races that Mael'nerak left behind, protecting them from their own shortcomings that formed in the vacuum of Mael'nerak's death.

@Jehanna

Tefler, maybe lay off the absolutes. Perhaps you could instead have a single, and very recent, feeding be a very weak link instead of none at all. Maybe Alyssa can't even feel her emotions yet, but what about her spirit link? Could you have Alyssa, either alone or with maybe Sakura's help, notice that Jehanna's spirit line doesn't go to Terra, but further out from the center of the solar system?

It could be explained as being such a new and incomplete bond, not having faded yet, as all previous one night stands have done. For whatever eventual reason John and the Invictus race back to Terra, TFNN contacting John about the circumstances of Jehanna's disappearance, following up on the non-responsive leads for Nymphs from the hotline leading to Calara's spidey sense saying something is going on; one lead disappearing, isolated incident, two or more, coincidence...and we all know John's opinion of coincidences.

Whatever the reason for the Invictus going to the Sol system, maybe just being that close to Jehanna in danger will allow Alyssa to feel at least a nebulous disturbance in the force, leading to following the very faint, ghostly spirit line to where Jehanna and the Nymph's are.

Oddly enough, the Admirals have helped John out if this is the case, no matter how he finds Tartarus. They have done what would have caused John no end of frustration...tracking down all the surviving Lenarrans. Also, John's bull in the china shop detective methods would have caused no end of trouble by pissing off the extremely powerful people that had the Nymphs, Lion of the Federation or not.

Now, as soon as the rest are "acquired", they will all be in one convenient, so to speak, location. With Jehanna in the same place, one stop shopping. And since it doesn't exist, he can remove any redeemable personnel to the Invictus (maybe some hot female marines to round out the Invictus' crew? XO in charge of recruiting!) Then the place that doesn't exist can truly no longer exist, thanks to Calara and her dainty trigger fingers.

"Strolling" in to the black site shouldn't be too hard for the Invictus, especially if they manage to quickly acquire the Brimorian shield tech and incorporate it before returning to Terran space.

@ New Ashanath ship designs...

It would be cool if Alyssa could take Dana with her directly to the Ashanath astral sub-plane. There she could "show" her plans for the new ships, and the Ashanath can psychically share them with their engineers. No need for a trip to Ashana, just a little meditation/spirit walking.

If nothing else, see if Alyssa's memory for psi-shaping extends to memorizing designs for ships, weapons and other critical systems. Then she could share anything with both the Ashanath and the Maliri as well as through Edraele. With that taken care of, John can continue putting out fires.

(The Maliri and Ashanath can do their tech exchange, power cores and FTL drives to the Maliri, and the collaboration on the basic crystal allyssium. Even without the onyxuim, I seem to remember reading that the Maliri crystal/etherite crystal alone is like six times the strength of Titanium armor, and a single reshaping will double that. With both fleets sporting even crystal allyssium lite, they will be much better off.)

That way the Maliri and Ashanath can both refit immediately with any more designs from Dana, before the fit hits the shan again. I don't like how spread out the Maliri fleets are, and how vulnerable the Trankarans and Ashanath are right now. Please, give them all a breather, they've been through enough for a few chapters. It's the TF's turn to take it on the chin for a while.

I agree with a post I read some chapters back; there's no explicit mention of the ruling body of the TF. Is it a military government made up of just the Admiralty? Where are the civilians? President, Senators, Planetary Governors?

If my fondest wish comes true, and Buckingham and his cronies, like Weber, eat it fighting the Kintark, this could leave admirals Mishra (the next fleet admiral?), Caldwell and Devereux for John to rehabilitate, (maybe the women are both mortally wounded, say life threatening plasma burns, John's "healing" to the rescue.) plus Charles, to reform the high command, perhaps even with John being promoted to full admiral and joining them, i.e. the uncrowned king, or more like his situation with the Maliri Trankarans, in charge without all the hassle of actually running the day to day.

Anyway, if John needs some character building angst, the colonies that are about to be destroyed by the Kintark should do the trick, so long as no recurring named characters die, especially any linked to, or including, the Fernandez clan, Charles Harris, and Jehanna! Not to mention Edraele's two assassin/bodyguards!!!

Leprechaun and Gibbons and those seem to almost be red shirts with lines and backstories, so their deaths aren't taken lightly. There you go @horned_lizard, named characters whose deaths we can live with.

As long as this was, I could write a poorly edited novel full of guesses and suggestions beyond these.

Keep up the good work Tefler!!!

. . . for sharing your great gift. Very very very well done.

Another masterpiece Tefler! Your storywriting just gets better with each chapter you crank out! 5 stars! I am curious as to how John and co. are going to find out about the whole bit that going on with the renewed conflict with the Kintark Empire and about Jehanna being taken. Who is going to break ranks and contact John? Will it be Devereaux? Papa Fernandez? Charles? I personally hope that its Deveraux because if she were to be brought in as one of Johns girls, she would be ideally placed to insure that the stupidity the High command displays, is not repeated. Some might argue that Charles would be better, and though he and John have a long history together, firstly, he's an older man who is approaching retirement. Secondly, he won't have the same level of longevity as Devereaux would if she was brought in. Finally, she's way too interesting a character to just throw away.

Bringing back Norwood, showing Webers true colors and adding in that morally bankrupt doctor, that was a stroke of genius! I really hope that all three of those douchebags are punished accordingly. I also believe that both the Brimorans and the Kintark will be in for a hell of a surprise, when they learn that the Maliri are allies with John. Though the second fleet that's going through Brimoran space will be in for a surprise when they encounter the upgraded fleet that Charles has been working on. Though the Kintark obviously have upgraded shields, with the increased power and firing rate of the beam weapons from the fleets will make the battle pretty much even, I think.

I'm of the opinion that the next couple of chapters will be quite interesting to read and that many of the conflicts that have been building in the past few, will finally come to a head and be resolved. I eagerly await the next several chapters, with baited breath!

Tefler, when you write Weber's death please... let Alyssa skin him alive telekinetically, or draw and quarter him. Jade could even eviscerate him, disembowel him and leave him to die a massively painful and prolonged death. Its a sign of an excellent writer that makes certain characters so despised and hated. Terran Fed military might be edging towards a mutiny as well with Buckingham's idiocy. His fear and loathing of John has utterly blinded him of sane reasoning. Jehanna has been fed 1-2 times by John already, just not the 3rd time. So technically, going by niskera's example, Alyssa should be able to speak to her telepathically, just not get any response, and she should feel jehanna' emotional state as well. Shits really gonna hit the fan when that little bit of nastiness is found out. Cant happen to soon!

about the current chapter of the story, at least have the guts to not be anonymous

I have a feeling that we're heading into TSM's "Helms Deep" moment. As Rohan fled to their fortress, TFed flees to the Core Worlds for their last stand. Even if High Command is successful in dealing with the Kintark's assault, their grasp in the galaxy will never be the same. Every system outside of the core worlds is open to aggressive expansion from Kirrix, Brimorians, and Kintark.

My only hope is that Charles, Henry, and others aren't hit by the Kintark forces on their way to Terra. Maybe a new Terran Government can rise from the ashes of the splintered Federation. Ironically, Norwood is right about the TFed and their corruption, although he picked the worst possible allies...

Anyways, we're witnessing the deep breath before we dive into the chaos. This time in a galaxy wide scale. Love how you really dived into the young Matriarchs and their distinct personalities. And yes, Nyrelle was hot as hell *laughs*.

Still have no idea how John and the girls will find Jehanna and the Nymphs. Other than Irillith hacking into Mars again, or Jade acquiring new powers to sense Nymphs. There's so much that can happen right now, and it's really exciting that there's not a clear path. Can't wait to see where we go from here. Bravo!

Someone needs to report him for an engaging storyline, captivating characters, and hot sex. What he's doing just isn't right!! Who does he think he is, giving us everything we want and more, for free, leaving us on the edge of our seats??

you forgot ending every chapter with a CRUEL cliffhanger that keeps us addticted enough to want to come back for more.

I was expecting another relationship-building chapter, and I wasn't disappointed, quite the opposite. I really enjoyed the way John handled the Young Matriarchs.

Next chapter, though, it'll be straight into the action again! Will the second Maliri fleet encounter the second Kintark fleet sneaking through Brimorian space and blow the whole scenario wide open? I think so. How will Maliri tech perform in battle against the upgraded Kintark tech? Will it lead to another cliff-hanger? Tefler is cruel so... probably. Will the Brimorians join the battle against the Maliri, or will they duck and cover?

Will John and the girls be emotionally torn between rushing to link up with the Marili fleet and rushing to save Terra yet again? Or will the Terrans eke out a victory with their rebuilt-and-upgraded home fleet? Are the Kintark in for a nasty surprise? I think so, but will it be enough to turn the tide of battle?

And how will John find and rescue Jehana and the Lenarrans? Will Jade's vengeance be epic (and savage)? You know it will. Jade will save her lost kittens, I have faith in her!

Yeah, I'm still posting anonymously, can't seem to convince Literotica to send me the darn validation email, it's driving me nuts. And no, it's not in my spam-folder.

This is...ADVANCED STUPID. You've got an immortal, nigh on omnipotent being that's on fairly good terms with you. He's protected you three times from insurmountable odds. He's stated IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that he's on your side so long as you don't do anything stupid. He's given you INCREDIBLE technological advances FOR PRACTICALLY FREE. There is AMPLE evidence to prove that he is quite capable of wiping your ENTIRE fleet off the face of existence without too much trouble. And he has informed you IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS about an evil "relative" who has been the cause of all your problems for some time. He has been shown to have the capability to SINGLE HANDEDLY DISMANTLE ENTIRE FLEETS. He has made NO secret of how powerful he is (for a large part of his tech, anyway). He has asked for no tribute, for no adulation, has not killed anyone innocent, has cleaned up crime, has the love of MILLIONS of your troops, has STRONG alliances with three other space empires that hem your own in but has made NO aggressive actions (one of which could send three ships into your own space and decimate more than 3/4 of your fleet and not lose one crewmember), has nigh on godly powers, and MORE....and you decide to kidnap someone he's had contact with and torture them for info about him. You DELIBERATELY not only ignore his polite request for aid in finding some members of an alien species, but you take these aliens and torture them and try to turn them into supersoldiers for yourself.

Yep. Utter brilliance. Great job. Best thing to do, huh?

So here's a random thought for you Tefler, and maybe you've already had this one... but what if the Evil Progenitor that John faces is really a brother / relative that has lost the battle with their own Progenitor Guide? This way in defeating his Guide, he learns the way to defeat the Evil Progenitor through some sort of massive psychic battle on the astral plane, thus releasing his relative from the mental captivity they were put in by their Guide. This could be used to help explain why the Evil Progenitor acts the way he does; he is limited by his DNA in the amount of thralls and powers he has since he's only a Guide. He has access to the tech, but can't fully unlock his psychic potential or have an entire army of Thralls and has to work through proxies (glowing queen, single Thralls, Drakkar, Kirrix, etc). Also allow for a sequel story when one of the progenitors leaves to explore new galaxies!

No dude, seriously.

If I wanted 'realism' , I'd watch the ever-so depressing evening news. That would get my daily quota of misery, death, and awfulness in under 5 minutes.

Screw that noise!

TSM is great BECAUSE it isn't a GRRM blood & horror fest.

Great characters, and adventure, fantastic world-building. No BS "well, time to kill off a character or nine, because I can't think of anything else to do" sort of nonsense.

If Tefler kills a character, it's going to be in true aid of the story, not because someone's sense of "reality" wants it...

-Springboard-

Have been a fan of this story for a while but was disappointed with this chapter. It might be due to high standards set by story so far but let me try to list the points which I found less than satisfying and why I rate this 4/5 instead of usual 5

1) individual sex scenes for every girl was nice personal touch in early chapters , and with 5-6 girls it added some variety to the story. But with all the matriarchs and bodygaurds it's taken up so much space out of 10 page chapter that it feels irritating. After 95 chapters the readers following this story aren't following it for sex scenes, however varied and well written.

2) introduction of 5 Lenarrans ( 3 alive ones ) has me fairly concerned about how they can fit in the story line once rescued . They can't be on crew since there definitely aren't that many useful positions available , unless they join crew as fighter pilots or foot soldiers which will go against John's character . Even if they stay somewhere in protective custody with Jehanna having 5 clones of Alyssa ( since they can't freely shape shift until fed gallons ) seems problematic .

3) timeline is seemingly erratic right now which is totally opposite of what you have maintained throughout . Mateo mentions it took them weeks to get to kirrix border , so even if they are on way back they can't be back in 4 days for invasion . John has already wasted more than a day with maliri so doesn't seem like he can even make it to terra core worlds to join the fight now either. The rear admiral who informed Admiralty of invasion should have realized TFs stupid plan after he received orders , still even he has not tried to reach out to John yet.

Hope this comes across as constructive feedback and not a rant .

I need action Tef! I'm itching to see the Lion & his pride show off their skills by rescuing Jehanna & the Lenarrans! TF can fight the kintark alone & find out just how helpless they really are against their new tech.

Thanks for the feedback.

1) After 95 chapters of cum-inflation and talk about pregnancies, I wanted to write a few scenes where John actually gets some girls pregnant. I enjoyed writing them, sorry you didn't enjoy reading them.

2) I can't answer that because of spoilers.

3) There's no problems with the timeline, I storyboarded the next few chapters to make sure it is all consistent.

It took the Damocles 2 weeks to travel to the border (Jack left just after the award ceremony). You are right, in that they won't be able to make it back in time for the battle. However Buckingham said that he recalled all the border fleets to provide more forces for future counter-attacks against the Kintark.

Tefler

There's more action next chapter. :-)

I've written about 24k of chapter 97, so it should be up on my site in a couple of days time. I'll post it here as soon as I've finished editing, so probably about a week or so.

Tefler

The upcoming battle sounds like it's going to be a messy one. And it just makes the itch to see the next chapter effing excruciating. Though i am curious if the two maliri assassins are going to get involved. I mean it seems to me they could come in right behind with the "counter attack" forces and be there in time to rescue survivors.

Now i noticed a few comments about how Telfer was going to fit more Lenarrans into the story. Honestly i don't see a problem because there are plenty of options. First the obvious intergration into the crew. It's not like they're lacking space the lenarrans just need the same TLC jade has gotten. As for possible jobs on the ship i could only speculate on what they could do. Though admittedly i don't think there' is a bed big enough to support him and so many girls at once. Second John could just send the extra Lenarrans back to the Maliri homeworld to stay protected. Also i have my own suspicions as to why Jade took that long nap of hers a few chapters ago. Though i won't say what it is because i don't want to spill the beans as it were.

i'm kinda sick of people demanding to get rid of main characters plot armor. when did it become a stigma to write heartwarming stories of good vs bad? i love the story, because it has plenty of things that can and will go wrong, but the main cast overcomes the problems in unique and kickass ways.

i love the story, because the main characters are kinda op and it is my greatest pleasure to imagine the terran high command shitting their pants when the maliri fleets finally will get involved or faye fucking up the assassin intruders.

I would like to bring my views on the above matter . firstly Tefler would never have given the brief introduction about the very secret location of Terran Fed and about the botched attempt to recreate nexus by t fed without reason. Secondly it has been observed that after every major battle John and his crew have been in a position to salvage some or the other upgrades to their ship or to better understand progenitor tech/views. Even the sleep of Jade during the previous battle was used by Alyssia to make arrangements to ramp up Maliri psychic power through Edraele.

So when John and team make the Ganymede visit to rescue Jehanna and nymphs they will probably not only be able to accomplish their primary task of rescuing but will in all probability be able to unravel the tech behind nexus because of Dana, Faye, Irillith and Tashana, their understanding of progenitor language would be a game changer compared to scientists attempt prior to .

As for jobs on the Invictus for more Lenarrans...well, Dana could always use more nimble hands for assembly line jobs, especially how often she fully redesigns their equipment.

Jade can train them to fly the raptor in combat, since they can't expect Faye to do evertyhing, freeing Jade to be the full-time pilot on the Invictus. Also, with the amount of space in the new ludicrously oversized cargo bay/hangar, Dana can build two or three new Raptors next time they hit Genthalas station. That will give a couple more green girls job security. I'd like to see if Dana can make the new Raptors even better than the original...what am I saying? This is Dana!!!

As for Jade's nap...without being too explicit in my musings, could she have reinstated an original Lenarran state of being from when the Nymph's originally served Mael'nerak? Or a built in status/rank among Nymphs? Or could John, a.k.a. Baen'thalas, have subconsciously given her a new status/promotion? We all know Tefler, as he himself has admitted repeatedly, never teases without intent with something like her nap!

Sidebar: Hey Tefler! Could you maybe have one of Jade's returning memories be from the time she and her sisters served Mael'nerak so we can have the real original name of the Nymph race? Calling them by the name of the planet they "retired" to, or the human's fanciful name from mythology that they use to pretty up the fact that they are just sex slaves, is starting to get to me. Thanks.

Yes, I too can see Dana and co requisitioning tech after the twisted have been slain, and the misled...maybe John and Sakura can move fast as lightning, moving too fast for the anti-personnel weapons, as well as using the flat/back of their blades respectively, to knock out the T-Fed marines, because killing them all would go against John's beliefs, I would think.

As for the tech at the black site, I think that the Progenitor mainframe that originally housed Nexus for Mael'nerak wasn't actually destroyed when Ganymede was bombarded into pieces. Maybe dinged up, but still salvageable, otherwise, how could they have made the copy that nearly destroyed earth. Perhaps, like with the Progenitor mainframe Tashana discovered, the data crystals were still intact, and they just reverse engineered the mainframe.

If the original crystals are still all intact and accounted for, Dana can build an air-gapped Progenitor mainframe and they can revive Nexus, giving him the Nexus files they got during the defense of Terra, and maybe between the crew, John especially, they can convince Nexus that with Mael'nerak being dead, John can be his new master. Perhaps the girls can even Stockholm Syndrome him.

If that isn't the route Tefler wants to take, perhaps Nexus's mainframe data crystals are still all undamaged and accounted for, but his personality is unrecoverable, yet the original designs for Irillith's hacking deck, as well as the code for creating new Progenitor AI's is there.

With the hacking deck designs, Dana can build more so Faye can take field trips with her avatars. Adding one to Faye's new body could seriously improve the performance, just linking to her Progenitor mainframe to upload extra data to keep from having to delete it for more space to grow/learn.

Also, Irillith can have a hacking deck again to boost her hacking. The other members of the crew could carry one for any number of reasons. Being Progenitor tech, it would be leaps and bounds beyond the capabilities of whatever computer is part of the Paragon armor.

Or if the crew is on a ground mission/boarding action, Faye can download a copy of her avatar to multiple hacking decks, allowing them to have her with them, even if the group has to spit up to cover multiple objectives.

I need to stop this here, before I end up writing a book of suggestions.

A big NO to recreating the "hacking deck" as John would not let an AI be created that would "de-res'd" after its' mission. Without de-res'ing the AI's after a mission what would they do with millions of them running around since John and team will live forever?

Really enjoyed this chapter.are you planning something really special for ch 💯

There you go again, excellent read, nice cliff hanger at the end with our TFN dusky beauty in a pen and the TFHC about to get a nice spanking by someone, who will get there first, the Lizards or John. I don't think either are going to be welcome once John finds out about her capture and torture. This really does get better as it goes along.

Please keep it up. Enjoying it!

Happy New Year!

One would hope that John and the girls wouldn't make the same mistakes as the T-Fed R&D assholes. Thus there would be little to no reason to de-res the new AI's. This would also mean there would not be a horde of them running around in the crew's immortal lifetimes. Mael'nerak only seemed to have the one AI in Nexus, as far as we know so far, so maybe this is all pointless daydreaming on my part. (Although there is an argument to be made for a pitiless Progenitor having no problem de-ressing any AI's at the first hint of "failure".)

I have faith in Tefler to use this idea to it's fullest if it is at all feasible.

But on the off chance they do decide there is a need for more AI's in the future, they don't need to be stored on a hacking deck, only when there is a need for mobility.

Now that Dana has the blueprints for Progenitor mainframes, and is already using one for Faye, allowing her all those extra avatars, we know that any future AI, once stable, can be upgraded from it's hacking deck to a permanent P-mainframe home.

TEFLER!!!

Speaking of mainframes, why hasn't John had Dana, Irrillith and Faye upgrade all the computers/mainframes on the Invictus to Progenitor mainframes? You said they run infinitely faster (slight exaggeration, lol), are crazy powerful, as well as much larger storage capacities, and since they run on Progenitor "code", no one else but another Progenitor could hack them. Let's face it, there isn't really anything a full blown Progenitor could or would do to their systems that they couldn't do easily, no matter what type of systems the Invictus used, so what's the holdup?

Love the story, keep writing!

Thanks again for an A1 fantastic read

Merci/thanks/gracias

1. Tashana's Role on the Invictus

Combine John's practical mind with his hesitance to enthrall girls, and its clear that John has filled roles based on the needs of the ship. So its a bit surprising that he hasnt assigned Shan with an official role.

Alyssa: Executive Officer, Navigator, and Pilot

Calara: Head Tactician and Gunnery Officer

Dana: Chief Engineer and Power Controls

Jade: Gunship and Invictus Pilot

Rachel: Medical Officer and Comms

Irillith: Intelligence Operations

Faye: AI Helper

Sakura: Security Officer and Valkyrie Pilot

She could be a few things like... Demolitions Expert, take over Comms (Maliri have a greater knack for languages), or even Invictus Curator (What? She loves finding ancient knowledge and artifacts... and we do need a hot librarian...)

2. Gene Splicing and Experimentation

It's curious that we've heard very little into biological experimentation in this Sci Fi world (really just Shinatobe's chemical cocktail enhancing her strength) instead having everything be mechanically alterred.

I wonder if well see more now that we've been introduced to Tarturus. And I hate to wish any ill will upon this galaxy's beautiful women, but it would be interesting if John and the girls rescued a Jehanna that had been experimented on (maybe even with Kirrix, Kintark, or other "non-Maelnerak" species abilities). Would provide a girl that couldnt go back to her old life, and we already have our fair share of normal Terran girls!

Jade for matriarch #3.

Tefler...... once this story is complete you should see if any game developers are interested in it. The world you've created is as good if not better than mass effect.

Can't wait to see where this goes.... best of luck...

Thinking I'd outsmart you and wait for two chapters to be up afore I delved into TSM and get away from the cliff hanger, giving myself a good X-Mass and a great send off of 2017...shold have waited longer...Thanks Tef, wife really enjoyed these chapters, even though I have to translate/interpret into Spanish as I read your story to her. Really left her on pins and needles waiting for the next chapters...me also. Thank you again for this easy 5* post.

Oh my!!

You are the best kind of writer. You always leave is with a little or a lot to think about.

Such a great story!

So many possible outcomes!

Regarding litreader9696 comments on nymph roles, I still like the idea of Jade and a couple of rescued nymphs party crashing a battle in a "Dana Special" destroyer. It would need another hyper active name like she gave the Valkyrie. I loved that bit. She has such passion. (maybe paint it red for her hair :)

It would be nice if John and Co. could thrash some TFHC butt and get some cred to negotiate the Brimorians into the treaty.

I hope the Maliri fleet gets to hook up with the Trankarans and aren't waylaid.

I hope Dana grabs some nifty progenitor stuff from Ganymede.

I hope Faye finally gets laid.

Such a great story!

Just absolutely awesome I can't believe how good this story is.

Thank you so much for TSM. By far the best story in all categories on Lit.

I'm sure I speaking for all of us when I say we thoroughly enjoy your story and if I had the means I would've paid you to get a chapter a day or at least a week to keep reading without reading other stories in-between that doesn't get finished by the writers.

Happy New Year to you and all the best, just keep them coming as soon as you can, WE LOVE IT.

TK

You guys realize Tefler has already basically told us where the Nymphs are going to go when they're rescued, right? Afterall, five people that will have telepathic connections to a sixth that John et al. have telepathic connections to. They've already mentioned building a dedicated destroyer-from-hell for the enlarged hanger. Five people is probably the correct amount of crew for such a ship. And combine their ability to modify their physical body to withstand G-forces + the inertial tricks that Dana's cooked up....

Yea i'm not so sure a "destroyer" is a good idea. I mean Invictus is probably the equivalent of what? somewhere between a dreadnaught and light aircraft carrier maybe? I mean their main advantage is in technology and firepower. If they come across anyone who manages to overcome their tech and firepower and manages to get on board with significant numbers they're screwed.

My point is there is just as much reason for those nymphs to potentially crew invictus as for them to crew some kind of escort/gunboat/support ship.

If Dana was going to build another ship, i would say she needs to make something equivalent of the USS Defiant from the DS9 startrek series. If i may point out to everyone, they still have the stealth shuttle from the assassins with all that sensor baffling technology.

At some point it may be a good idea to make some type of dedicated gunboat using the tech from the stealth shuttle. With all the tech they've gotten all they need for weapons would be multiple turrets loaded with those gatling pulse lasers. That would be terrifying to consider.

This "gunboat " you describe is it not the Raptor "gunship"?

Well the Raptor i see more as a fighter craft/troop transport. Also its weapons are all forward firing only. At least thats the impression i get when i read this story. What i mean by gunboat is a ship with weapon turrets like a navy phalanx turret. the ship would have more of a 360 degree bubble of firing area. Basically no matter where you attack the gunboat from you have a number of weapons trained on you. With a minimal of 4 weapons there would be at least two i figure trained on any target.

Raptor have three or four point defence turrets? as well as a couple of forward facing beam weapons

Yes, the raptor does feature point defense turrets, but I think Blackhawk means heavy cannon & beam laser turrets akin to the Invictus, which would have considerably more firepower than the smaller point defense turrets. Though the question of whether it needs large turrets at all comes up. After all, their turning speed is ludicrous, so primarily gimbaled weapons might make more sense.

Or just put a swarm missile/torpedo system in the hangar... That would certainly be effective.

Tefler, ignore comments from anon's and others that say you need to kill main characters to tell a story. They write that you need to do this to grow and improve as a writer but as a reader and admitted fan let those commenters show you and your fans that love this series and your talent their 96 chapters on a continuing story line that almost always scores 4.85 stars or higher. I will say that you have written chapters that deserve more than 5 stars but that is the highest score we can give. Some complain that they want more action faster and faster but battles have to end and even in real life there are down times between skirmishes when you are fighting on more than one front. You hint at a larger war or conflict to come and it takes time and chapters to tell this at a pace that you as the author feel is the right way to progress the story as you've envisioned. I really love reading this series to the point that it is difficult to find stories to occupy me till the next chapter comes out so sincerely, IGNORE those commenters, listen to the majority of your readers and continue to write this series in the way you have for soon to be 97 chapters. Thank you, mikecfl.

Question nr. 1 Will Jade sense the troubles of the captured Nymphs?

Question nr. 2 Will Alyssa sense the troubles of Jehana ?

Question nr. 3 Will the Maliri help defend Earth?

Question nr. 4 Will the Admiralty then panic and start shooting at them?

Question nr. 5 Will any of the unbelievably stupid admirals be demoted to private?

Question nr. 6 Is Mael'nerak stil alive, and will he be friend or foe of John?

Question nr. 7 Was the old man who John met in the beginning of the story, Mael'nerak who put him on the path, sort to speak? Someone mentioned that.

Question nr. 8 Will Harris be instrumental in saving Earth?

Question nr. 9 The hanger has place for many drone ships, that Faye can pilot. will we ever see such ships on the Invictus?

Question nr. 10 And lastly. Will the Astral monsters eventualy turn out to become allies? Once John and his girls starts help them with their pain an rage, instead of trying to kill them.

These are just a few questions that is running through my head while waiting for chapter 97. Buckingham and Weber must be stopped. Their mentality of anything goes. will end in catastrophe. John will be seriously pissed off, when he learns of their secret facility, an the captured Nymphs. Question is, if there will be anything left of the planet once he is finished.

Well, Tefler. Once again you deliver a very good chapter. But I must admit I was swearing a good deal while reading about the Admirality's utter stupidity. Now, I have never been in the military. But I find it hard to believe that such utter incompetence would permeat the whole admiralty. One or two bad seeds, yes. but not everyone. And not one of them has really protested against Buckingham and Webers actions.

Norwood is in for a rude awakening. Probably just before he dies. It seems, he really believes that he is doing all this for the benefit of mankind. Hard to believe a person can be so naive and mislead. But history shows that it is possible. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Okay, in Norwoods case, there is a good deal of overgrown ego in the mix. And he definitely isn't a nice guy, even if he thinks so himself.

Things are becoming really dire now, and the suspense is killing me. I hope it isn't to long before chapter 97 comes. Until then, thanks for another fantastic chapter.

Tefler You Rock!!!!

The Raptor has two fixed photon lasers and quite a few turreted extended range point defense lasers. While it can take on Cruiser class vessels because of its agility, it is best at attacking fighters and bombers. The Valkyrie has 4 photon lasers that can fire in a 90 degree arc from straight up to forward and two point defense lasers along with a (soon to be) upgraded gatling gun that can attack shielding and one badd azz crystal alyssium sword. Both the Raptor and Valkyrie have shielding but only the Raptor has FTL drive. The Valkyrie can successfully attack anything from a fighter to a Battleship, though the Battleship is a stretch.

As for the Invictus' large hanger: Need two purpose built gunships with a psychic pilot (so he/she can communicate with Alyssa and/or Calara), two to three gunners with limited prescience (for increased accuracy), a shitload of both turreted Photon Lasers and MK III Gauss cannons (with the quantum shielded rounds for greater penetration).

Thinking Frigate Class vessels with uniform depth and width. Equipped with 32 Quantum capable Gauss cannons (4 zig-zag lines of 8 each on gimballed mounts, 1 zagged line above, 1 below, and 1 both sides) and 32 Photon Lasers (4 inverse zig-zag lines of 8 each on gimballed mounts, 1 zagged line above, 1 below, and 1 both sides). This configuration would allow for at least 4 cannons and 4 Photon lasers to maintain overlapping fire arcs in full sphere coverage.

Centralized Nova Lance, Progen power capacitors, 2 Progen power cores, FTL, Progen server, shields, antigrav stabilization, 4 engines, and a shit load of thrusters. No need for living quarters...maybe a head, kitchenette, 2 bunks.

The Lit audience seems to love the action set pieces over the sexy fun (seems a bit ironic haha), but I really enjoy these chapters. I love seeing the characters grow and they travel through the galaxy. Keep up the good work Tefler.

With the young matriarchs now pregnant, I hope that you really enjoy the process of their pregnancies. Inflation themes are already a cornerstone of the story, so I know you'll take your time and have fun with this new frontier. There's not too much quality pregnancy stories here (I really enjoyed LordofHell's stuff, let me know if there's other stuff like that!), but if done right it can be very sexy (women flaunting their femininity is a beautiful thing!). So in that case I'm looking forward to seeing Alyssa and the girls growing bigger while John tries to resist their charms!

Another plot point is them settling in a new home after he defeats the dark one. Valaden is the obvious answer, but something that could be fun is if John colonized his own planet in Maliri territory (or anywhere else for that matter). A good choice could be Quanthos, as the Fulmanax are no more. It'd be an interesting side story in how the Invictus crew creates a home from scratch, their own world to create their own Eden. An immortal leader of this quadrant of the galaxy deserves no less!

The point is, there's so much that can happen in this universe, so many side stories and plot develoments to be mined. I cant wait to see what you do from here!

A while ago, I made a request that a character I was working on be incorporated into your series (a bounty Hunter in an AI assisted armor with ghostlike abilities.) Now, I am thinking of another: a silicon-based lifeform that can create, manipulate, and control any mineral in existence. His name is Silicore and he is a philosopher/material depo/Ally of the female bounty hunter.

Any update tefler!!!!

Tefler has put chapter 97 online on his Patreon-account on the last day of last year, so I hope it will be out here on Friday or Saturday.

I am counting the days...

has value.

For example, he made the cookies cutter & ’18’ comments, and you rightly said they're a bit late, given you're two miilion words in.

But that doesn't make them useless comments. One of the challenges you face as the author is NOT letting your tale become repetitive. In this case, the character repetitiveness IS part of the plot; you're challenge is to not allow repetitiveness SEEM repetitive.

This done by carefully watching for repeated phrasing or adjective at the micro level, to avoiding similar plot mechanisms, and scenes, at the macro level.

One example I can think of is describing the younger girls as teens, or teenagers. Yes, that's what they are, but that's also why the Therausus is a valuable tool, and also why authors are called wordsmiths.

Developing your vocabulary is as important for your further growth as a writer as anything other single aspect of crafting a tale.

I've saw some repetition in the early chapters, but you have done better as the chapter numbers increased.

It's a never ending challenge to keep your characters and sub-plots fresh and interesting. Consider feedback like lizards as a reminder to work hard to keep TSM from becoming what he feels he sees, and you'll be just fine.

Who knows why he was motivated to write what he did, (I personally don't agree TSM is what he claims to see, but I have seen instances here and there which, if allowed to become trends, would not be good for the tale.), it could have been any number of ouside influences causing him to feel like he was seeing the failures he noted.

Keep aspiring to be a better writer everyday, and do some work everyday to MAKE yourself a better writer, and you'll do fine. Besides, you're writing for a living, why not get paid to improve and learn; beats paying a university!

Regards,

GeoD

hyping and anonymous, based on the last ten chapters I calculate that the next chapter will be released on 1-9-18. Literotica has been taking 3 days to review it so we should see it available on about 1-12-18. Just my calculations.

> Consider feedback like lizards as a reminder to work hard to keep TSM from becoming what he feels he sees, and you'll be just fine. -Anon

Tbh, I really just want Tefler to want to improve TSM for its own sake. Yeah, it would be nice if he took my words into consideration, but I don't want him to write specifically to appease one reader- that wouldn't make the story his anymore, not entirely, and that would be a crime. A writer IS their story; their style is their own and should remain so.

However.

As a writer, I always try to better myself and grow by reading every comment on something I post. As a reader AND a writer, I try to help other writers do the same by giving constructive feedback. I could have easily been way harsher in my criticism, but my goal is to help, not to incite. Though sometimes it doesn't work out that way.

I try to note the positives and the negatives so the writer (whomever they are) isn't discouraged. If I really hated a story, I wouldn't even bother commenting. Why waste my time on something I hate? I take the time to write long comments like that because I feel the story is definitely worth putting my two cents in. This post is something I've worked on for about 8 hours, so my two cents is more like $91.00 if using minimum wage. I have a number of writing projects I could have been working on instead of doing this.

> You make it sound like the entire crew is that age. -Tefler

Because you keep writing it that way. Ctrl + f on your chapters documents and type in "young" and "teen". See how many returns you get and you might begin to understand how it comes across differently.

It's not about what how old they really are, it's how you portray them. To the best of my admittedly fuzzy memory, most of the times a character's true age is mentioned is with regard to Jade or a Maliri character. It doesn't really come up often with the other girls, thus the impression.

> It wouldn't for a Terran, but John is a Progenitor, so normal human male psychology does not apply. -Tefler

Counter: He only recently found out about his heritage; he was raised, and lived his whole life, as human so it /mostly/ applies. He is very quick to recognize Progenitor traits he exhibits which make him anxious/afraid/stubborn<(to resist). He doesn't like them at all except for the rare occasions where roleplay calls for it.

> As far as I know, this is the only story when girls swallow the protagonist's cum and all adopt the same body type. Ironically, what you're asking me to do is get rid of one of the unique facets of this story and conform to every other story in literotica. -Tefler

I'm not saying the changes should be extreme or apply to ALL of his girls, just the human ones. It would differentiate them from the Maliri, which is a good thing because they are Special.

If anything, John, I think, would want to make at least some kind of minor change as an act of defiance to his Progenitor heritage. A little wider hips here, an inch more/less height there, a cup up or down wherever. Any change like that would not drastically alter the loadout. All Sparks would need to do is add some overlapping plates and boom- one size fits all. The ones who don't need it will just get more armor protection.

(side note: what about giving the girls an emergency dose of cum in a small flask/packet? Has Rachel looked into the effectiveness of it in relation to how old it is? Refreshing them every three days would be fine if it's not a problem. A short burst of energy could mean the difference between life and death- especially if they haven't been pre-loaded.)

> I received scores of emails from fans begging me not to do something like that again. -Tefler [Jade's death]

Bully for them. Characters die in many stories; don't let people drastically change the story you envisioned by demanding certain characters survive. A character death is a powerful tool if utilized properly- NOT the G.R.R.Martin style. I agree wholeheartedly with your take on him.

The way you're releasing TSM is different from how completed stories are in that you get reaction from each chapter. Don't get me wrong, that reaction is /good/, it's just that you may find yourself going in a direction you did not, initially, intend to go. Sometimes those directions are good and sometimes they aren't.

I did NOT, by the way, mean I wanted to see major character deaths; though I see how it can be read that way. I bollocksed that up.

Looking back at the incidents I mentioned, I agree that they are indeed extremely serious events. *facepalm* More along that vein is good. In fact, they would make the (hypothetical) death of someone all the more striking in showing that death can't be avoided forever if you're constantly dancing with it.

I have a bad habit of posting not-so-well-thought-out comments late at night. It's the absolute worst time for it. Tired brains are not what I would consider "optimal conditions" for writing them so you can pretty much disregard the stuff from "Something I've been meaning to mention-" to "-Oh no, John got suuuper tired!" and that "Close calls won't cut it for much longer" bit at the end. That's just plain wrong and I'm embarrassed that I said that.

The thing that was really grating was more subtle; it's the way John always looks totally perfect in public appearances/media. The time at the award ceremony where he foiled Lady Admiral's [fuzz memory] plan and delivered an flawless, epic speech was the one that stood out to me. That's the sort of plot armor that bothered me the most. It feels scripted despite it not being so.

John doesn't have to majorly fuck something up, just do small, normal things. Be caught off guard by a comment, give him some inner dialogue acknowledging the pressure he's under, the anxiety/doubt he feels, the itch between his shoulder blades where someone is glaring daggers at him- that sort of thing. Even adding a few small perspectives from other characters to alter the flow a little bit during something like that would help. A continuous take of utterly perfect dialogue and undisturbed composure feels fake. The glowing praise at the end amplifies it. No one is perfect.

That said, the Admiralty began seriously considering him a threat after that speech. The Admiralty's concerns, while /extremely/ paranoid and deluded in the Fleet Admiral's case, ARE valid. Horribly, horribly misplaced, but valid nonetheless.

They need to raise those points on a live broadcast, perhaps as a propaganda piece when they think victory is near and gloat before it's certain. Maybe have some coincidental event or comment that could be misinterpreted to reinforce those concerns. A properly crafted speech can be used to cast doubt on John's motives. Echoes from Humanity's past of dictators and revolutionaries were definitely there when John gave that speech, so draw parallels between them to put the right "spin" on it.

People begin to question their idol. He faces humiliation, slander, and a public who no longer trusts him completely. That trust is crucial to getting humanity ready to face the Evil Progenitor; distension and disorganization could ruin John's efforts to get the Terran military unified and the war machine moving. The odds are not in his favor and now he has to scramble to fix it. This is a more extreme example of what I was talking about with nobody being perfect.

I'm assuming he manages to do it, but there is a risk of having a repeat of that grand speech and flawless appearance when it comes time to deal with the Nymphs. It would be easy to tell everyone about the horrible Bad Things that were being done to them and then happily declare them freed by the Lion's heroic actions. Huzzah! Give 'em a medal and a parade!

> It's a dangerous universe and any of them could easily get killed.

> set in a bleak and gritty universe. -Both Tefler

Continue the trend you started with the Rock people. Release the whole helmet-cam video when Fleet Admiral Dumbass has his plans for them utterly destroyed.

Don't leave out the stuff "some viewers may find disturbing". You did well with the ground assault of the rock lady's rescue, but if the description of the Ganymede is anything to go by, this fight will be very different.

There won't be an unprepared, unaware enemy. Everyone in that facility and all the weapons overkill are there specifically to repel John. They have an idea of his capabilities and planned for it; they have contingencies for contingencies for contingencies. There is one very small, very well defended route of access- a far cry from the huge tunnels previously. It will not be an easy mission.

Everyone saw first-hand how brave, fierce, skilled, and deadly the Lion and his Lionesses were during the Kirrix invasion. This is the chance to show people the nuances of John & Co. Show them the Man and Women behind the Legend, not a bunch of overpowered weaponry and armor.

Show the desperate clash, the struggle for life. Show what John has to do that Must Be Done in all it's gory glory. Show the very /human/ [read: relatable] reactions of himself and the girls when they see the Nymphs, the horrific, sickening experiments preformed on them, and the state they are in after enduring them... or not.

Let everyone hear their candid gasps of horror and screams of rage.

Let everyone see just what happens when you incur the wrath of John. Fucking. Blake.

...And then let everyone see that he's not the monster the Fleet Admiral makes him out to be. Let them see the soft, gentle, caring side of the unyeilding juggernaut warrior.

For that, this is how I envision it:

---

John rips off the door to a containment cell. The horribly abused Nymph inside cowers in a corner, terrified of this giant covered in blood. What torment does this beast bring?!

[John's camera POV]

John faltered in the face of this reaction; it really brought home the validity of the Fleet Admiral's accusations. He was a Progenitor; he had powers FAR beyond any mortal being.

He could enslave entire races if he wanted to, just like his ancestors had, and there was little anyone could do about it. He could -and had- modified the bodies of women to suit his tastes. He could control fire and summon lightning. He could literally tear a man limb from limb with his bare hands -which he had just finished doing- or just do it with his freaking /MIND/. What was it like to be on the receiving end of that god-like power? What do people see?

The battered Nymph's look of sheer terror answered that perfectly- a Monster.

Looking down at his gore covered hands, he realized he WAS a Monster. He had become that which he had feared, and, deep down, knew he was.

John was so struck by the visceral truth of it that the protests of his Matriarchs went unheard.

"I'm not- I'm not like them," he said in a shaky voice to the Nymph and himself, "I came here to rescue you. I want to help. That's all I ever wanted to do. I'm not a monster..."

---

THAT is the man behind the legend. He has his own insecurities and fears, just like everyone else. It makes him /more/ of a hero to know that. Overcoming those obstacles is how heroes grow stronger.

Or not.

Like I said at the beginning; it would be nice if you took it into consideration, but ultimately you should do you.

A very good rejoiner Mr Lizard.

Well done you. Civility is a lost art. On this site for the most part.

That Tefler takes pains to engage all comers in the same manner is also a bonus of this story.

actually it was slightly unsettling to see how strongly people voiced their opinion against your opinion of killing off a few characters. Even though i don't like that idea either, it is authors call to take the story where he wants to and we just have to wait for surprises . so all in all , good job handling those comments and still keeping this thread civil.

What i do wanna raise more importantly is the fact that you seem to be writing your own fan copy of this story , and your suggestions though show your own potential as an author do not match tefler's style in a lot of aspects.

I am sure Tefler would appreciate the ideas and feedback , but if i was the author i would not have appreciated being told "how to write the rest of story ".

Another concern i wanna raise is the unconscious bias of the author . Tefler seems to incorporate our feedback in his story but what truly makes the story shine is his own creativity and his well thought out universe with all the twists it has to offer. If all of us start writing pieces of story we want to see happen , it might influence his thinking in more ways than we might want to . Writers block is a dangerous thing , and since tefler is pushing 2 chapters a month, last thing we want is to hurt his creativity by preoccupying him with average ideas born out of our limited understanding of his universe.

Well that's just my point of view anyways , desperately waiting for next chapter

Any update on ch97 tefler ??????

What i meant with my ramblings about new ships is with the Invictus somewhere inbetween a dreadnaught with firepower and about a light carrier's hanger space they don't need to try to half crew another large ship. I was thinking something more like a corvette with gimbaled turrets. I mean a couple purposed built small craft would be a good idea for dana's energies with a light aircraft carrier sized hanger. Because if you all recall they still have that assassin's shuttle with that tastey sensor bafling technology. If the other known lenarrans do join the crew having a couple small craft would be a perfect idea. There are still plenty of jobs that can be done aboard the Invictus.

It was not until the 70's that this plot line began to hit mainstream here in the States. It grew from the ashes and perceived failure of the 60's movement and the delusions of that generation when realism defeated their idealism. The argument was that it is more realistic, pulled strong emotions from the audience, and allowed the audience to see it can be difficult at times to see right and wrong.

The more realistic part I grant. But I really don't need more realism in my life. I read for information and for pleasure and for escape. None of those reasons require realism in my literature (truth for the information stuff, yes...but that is not for entertainment). If I want realism, I will deal with family, or go to work, or even the grocery store.

As for pulling strong emotions from an audience: In my personal opinion, it is a very manipulative device for shortsighted writing. It takes away and breakes down the psycholigical foundatons of the audience rather than building them up. Something even more incidious and has more long lasting and far reaching damage than children watching violence.

As for blurring the lines between good and evil: evil does not have to win or major characters die to help an audience grow in self-awareness or cultural understanding. This story is a perfect example...and the Avengers series is a perfect example. In the internal struggle within ourselves between our light and dark sides, the decision to embrace the good is not a sign of weakness, contrary to what those who have embraced the dark side would tell us all. While self-knowledge of our dark sides is helpful...given a mentor or support group to help us learn to live with it: it is not wise to unleash such thoughts on susceptable children. It breeds too strong a sense of egocentrism without responsibility (as evidence: most children in US society today)...not to mention it slowly grows an acceptance of the idea that evil must win in our minds and our lives...and it really doesn't.

Yes. This story does throw back to an earlier day when heroes never risked death.

Those traditions came from an era where people might see several people die every year just by going to work, often before the victims had turned twenty.

Entertainment with death involved became a part of the mainstream peaking between Catch-22 and M*A*S*H.

There had been a shift over a few generations towards kids moving safely through schools. They were then drafted or volunteered for combat service and thought they were heroes, as their mythology described them. They would easily kill the enemy while expecting themselves to be invincible. They found some shocking differences in reality.

Dark humour or horror infested the new entertainment as it captured their reality.

It was a warning, that if you fight, you can expect to die. Do not glamourize warfare.

So this story pushes death away from Jade for example, with a big magic broom.

If you think that use of a big magic broom paints an unrealistic picture... Well spotted.

Of course it does.

This is not a western that fails historical accuracy.

It is Fantasy with a Sci Fi backdrop; so space elves instead of Legolas and Galadriel.

Enjoy the read, or find the story you were looking for if you can't.

This has recurred so many times it is turning into an in joke instead of a real complaint. It is one of the rights of passage for readers as they start investing heavily it seems.

John, Alyssa, etc. are at zero risk of death, with one caveat. If you are a believer in the infinite possibilities universe model where nothing can be imagined that is not real, then they should actually be real people out there in some parallel universe, and those people in many of their branching universes are getting wiped out thousands of different ways every chapter. The story will not be about those more numerous possibilities. This story will be about a realm where they triumph like badass bosses.

So any speculation on how John finds out Jehnna went missing? I've read some suggestions in earlier comments that i just find improbable if i am reading this universe right. Now i admit outside of exposing some new nymph ability i think either the guy reporter metioned in chapter 95 calls John sniffing for a story or somehow the assassin girls find out and pass the message to John.

It could go one of two ways. The first is if he somehow manages to find a trace of her after getting a tip from her boss about where the meet was supposed to be, but it would depend on how thoroughly the electronic recording in the area was messed with or deleted. I think this is the most likely route because it will also lead John to the Nymphs. Honestly, it's a really boneheaded move to stick the one person with an actual trail in a place that has none.It's practically and invitation.

Then again, we're talking about the Fleet Admiral here. He's shown a staggering level of advanced stupid. I would half-expect him to boast about having the Nymphs breeding an army for him.... before it's even started. I wouldn't put anything past him.

The second is that John simply finds her with the Nymphs as a bonus, not knowing she was there.

On Patreon is good news about chapter 98 as it has reached a size of 19K and it is scheduled for January the 10. However the comments on this will probably contain some hints what has happened in chapter 97.

So I hope Tefler will post chapter 97 real soon (r)(tm), because I get some feelings about an addiction I need to give some rest to...

Heroes have always "risked " death but were always suppose to survive . Growing up in the dawn of pictures we streamed to theaters to watch series like "The Perils of Pauline " & cowboy heroes in matinees being threatened every week with eminent death only to see them survive until the next threat . Literally where term "cliffhanger" got it's birth . Like you said as "realism" made it's way , I think more for shock value than anything else , we saw heroes fall . I agree with most here that we get enough "realism" in our daily life & look to stories like TSM for a joy full escape . It's Science FICTION , not historical records ( nod to Galaxy Quest ) & it's kind of nice to see the good guys kick butt . When in the Battle of Regulus the crew exclaimed "the Kintark are doomed Lion is here to save us .,it brought a lump to my throat .In real life even your enemies are real people , with lives & families that love them & although you have to do it , it taints our humanity to kill . So it's kind of nice knowing that no one really dies when reading these stories & we get to feel the excitement of battle & thrill of victory with no real negative cost . Keep up the great story Tefler & hope we see many more thrilling rescues & battles of Good vs Evil

In rereading this chapter I notice something from the description of the Ganymede Incident . It says Nexus was found on the moon (ours) & the TFed scientist tried to reverse engineer it & that the variant had gone rogue with tragic results . Question I have is the original still in existence ? Did they destroy it trying to make one that would obey them ? and if it's still intact can John get his hands on it ? It could be the key to so many question & Progenitor tech if it recognizes him an legitimate heir of Mael & accepts John as it's master .

I agree with the idea the fact that Jehnna is there at tartarus with the nymphs will be the facility's downfall. I also agree the surveillance cameras will give it away. Because it's not too hard to guess the instant John finds out Jehnna is in trouble he won't hesitate to set Irillith loose. I mean wasn't it explained TF cyber security was a joke by Maliri standards how many chapters ago?

Tefler Senpai, pls notice us!

(He's currently half way done with Ch. 98, and seems really involved in writing it. Hopefully we'll see Ch. 97 this week.)

Also Irillith is the best girl. That is all.

Hello!

I have just submitted chapter 97 for moderation, so hopefully that should be up on the site in a couple of days time. :-)

Tefler

Tefler Senapi noticed me. #^_____^#

Looking forward to Chapter 97

Can not get enough. This coming confrontation should be a monster. Go Invictus. 🚀

Hallo,

Could we expect next chapters soon, please?

"Life's too precious to waste it with regrets. Live for the future, don't dwell in the past."

That is great.

I can't get enough of this story, I'll be sad to finally have to wait for more chapters!

I deliberately ignored all sex scenes and it turned out to be great story. Not that the scenes are non-interesting but after a time you start losing interest especially when you Binge-reading. And damn me because this is Literltica where the stories are supposed to be sexual.

You have out grown Literotica and it'll sell well on Amazon or bookstores ( maybe a censored version perhaps)

I agree wholeheartedly

hopefully, this little incident will get rid of that hesitation John has of adding women to his crew.

Rachael, hyper intelligent more so than perhaps anyone on the crew, seems the least likely to forget that Faye is artificial, even at the best of times. For her to do so while she is in the middle of working on her physical body seems utterly implausible.

Agree wholeheartedly with SVDIP110

Poor Weber, I feel sorry for him when John finds out he has 3 Lerhrens and the TFNN reporter in his possession. Easy to find the reporter with the physic link

This dude has such an inferiority complex it's insane. Also I think Rachel forgot because she was getting absorbed into it intellectually which is the only times I see her slip. Unless he has no idea what they're even dealing with

Oh lord the further I read the nore dead admiralty I see lol

No, no, no.

High Command gone too far, tripping over themselves to make an enemy of the 🦁 LION.

I have been pondering a missing stealth shuttle,.. it seems to have disappeared from Tef's TSM storyline sometime after chapter #89, when the crew discussed using it to infiltrate the Kirrix infested world of Khalgron to rescue Trankaran Chancellor Niskera,.. they ended up using their Raptor gunship and the stealth shuttle was never mentioned again,.. however in a later chapter, Faye supervised the loading of Trankaran metals/ores into the cargo bay and she could have moved the shuttle to make room,.. and left it behind on the carrier, Kerhom's Anvil,.. maybe Tef can mention this on the crews next visit to Trankana,.. they could ask the Great Protector what he wants done with his forgotten shuttle,.. And after that he could get Dana to get the Star Forges to work fully as Mael'nerak had intended, and then build some truly superior ships to face Gahl'kalgor's forces with,.. ;-) TTFN

Oops!, I accidently left a spoiler in the last sentence of my last comment, it should have read: ",.. and then they could build some truly superior ships to face enemy Progenitors forces with!",.. my bad,.. ;-) TTFN

And Big Oops! I found the black stealth shuttle again, used in chapters # 99, and # 100. Sorry, please carry on with your lives and ignore my delusions,.. '-) TTFN