All Comments on 'Three Waves'

The confluence of circumstance - terminally ill child, evil, scheming boss AND husband planning suicide and wife figuring out what he's doing - is laughably unlikely. But it's a good illustration of just how many hoops one has to jump through to justify a wife taking her child and leaving a good husband for another man.

So the wife discovers or deduces that her husband is planning to kill himself in order to get money to take care of their sick daughter.

So knowing how depressed and how Disturbed /Desperate the husband is ....that he's willing to kill himself ...the wife decides to stop him from doing that by suddenly announcing she wants a divorce and she's shacking up with her boss and taking the child away from him.

this may be the stupidest plot I've ever come across.

if the husband father is wanting to kill himself in order to raise money to ensure that his daughter lives how is taking the daughter away and end in the marriage not going to trigger severe emotional and mental crisis with husband.... Which might force them into a suicide attempt anyway.

finally if you still so secretly in love with her husband why was she letting the daughter call James. J Daddy?

tomorrow I attend an Independence Day Parade and volunteer to direct traffic for a small rural city that still respects my country enough to celebrate freedom.

So if I can volunteer to direct traffic I'd volunteer to hold your door, drive your car, answer your phone or serve you in a reasonable fashion for a day. Just to get you to keep writing great entertainment for me (Us) to enjoy.

Thanks for sharing your hard work on Lit.

X

Harryin Va's review touched on some of the problems I saw. But there were other things, too.

To me, it doesn't seem like the ex-wife "took one for the team," as your story tries to say. Instead, it seems like she made decisions that are questionable, if not completely wrong, and is now trying to convince herself that she is a good person and her decisions were the right thing to do.

I liked it cpete and its not difficult to understand, I think its imaginative and told well. Maybe Im a little more open minded than some and can see outside the box.

The truth is he made everything a joke and while it will be funny once in awhile, it won't be funny all the time.

And he whines way to fucking much.

I'm a fan of your writing, but this story didn't really work for me.

The main problem was that the husband had already lost almost everything and was considering suicide as a way out for the cash. That the wife would choose to leave him for James, when Brad was on the edge, had a strong chance of tipping him over for real.

Also this:

Finally, Sarah laid the paper on a pile of moving boxes. "James was not a bad man."

She'd just read about how the bastard had accelerated the foreclosure of their house and done everything in his power to steal her away from Brad. That James had heard about their daughter being sick and was gleeful at the chance to exploit that to get a chance to fuck Sarah! James was an evil shit and her defending him here greatly undermines her "sacrifice".

The way James described Sarah pining away for Brad also didn't fit with the relatively calm confrontation scene at the end. If she loved Brad so much that she was stalking him, wouldn't she now be desperately trying to get back together with him? Instead there's this:

Sarah's face turned serious, "I know I put you thorough a lot, but any chance, you and I and Anne could..."

Go and grab a burger? Go for a stroll in the park together?

Surely at this point, she'd be making an impassioned plea to James to forgive her for what she had to save their daughter's life, and beg him to take her back?

Finally, killing off Justine to make way for the wife felt jarringly contrived. I half expected the cop to say, "Sorry, Sir, your girlfriend was hit by a RAAC truck... she had no chance."

Few problems with your story:

1. Too Many Jokes: A few jokes are fine, but with the amount you had it got really annoying fast.

2. Plot Twist Hidden Too Well: You what the best thing about a plot twist is? You can go back and see the clues that it was going to happen. Some media give out more clues than others but there is at least something that you can go back to and recognize as foreshadowing. Your story, however, gave absolutely nothing. When the wife is telling him she is divorcing him she gives no emotions. She doesn't stop Anne from calling James daddy, she doesn't try to be nice during or after the divorce, there are no longing stares, no comments from Justine about his ex-wife missing him, no trying to make nice after Justine is gone and Anne is cured, nothing! As a result, the plot twist is totally out of the blue and doesn't make sense.

3. "James was not a bad man": As someone else pointed out, this doesn't make sense. The whole reason she got with James was to protect her daughter and then when she finds out that James is the one that helped put her daughter in danger she doesn't get angry? Even after the plot twist has been revealed you aren't making sense.

4.: Disconnect between Wife's Motives and Actions: This is related to points 2 and 3 but, why did Sarah not try to rebuild her relationship with Brad after Anne was cured? I'm reminded of another story (don't remember the name) where the wife left the husband because he wasn't making enough money. She comes back years later filthy rich saying her plan all along was to steal the guy's money and come back to him so that they can be rich together. Now, that story was only a page long so it wasn't really a plot twist like yours, but the point I am trying to make is that once the wife in that story got what she wanted, she came back to her husband.

In contrast, when Sarah achieves her goal, she stays with the man she left her husband for! Now, I can understand feeling that you are trapped, especially if your husband hates you now, but at the very least she should have tried to be more friendly and civil. Sarah seems to have made no attempt to rebuild her relationship with Brad. If she really only married James for his money there should have been some change in behavior afterwards, but there wasn't. Thus, her motives don't line up with her actions.

I like a lot of your other stories but I'm sorry to say this one was just bad.

People are making all sort of comments, but here is THE one to shut them all up!

Unless YOU were in HIS position you wouldn't know how you are about to act?

YES... you may act different, but not necessary for better.

PS: there is an old saying about not judging until you walked in his shoes...

5

Yeah, lack of communication between the couple really messed things up.

James? An interesting study in how an overpowering obsession can make a good person do some really wicked things.

but no, I don't think I could do more than be polite and raise our daughter. Five stars for this Gordian knot.

For a very serious set of events your treatment of the subject was light hearted and made it survivable Otherwise it was the tale of Job redone. Really looking at how Brad suffered one does not assume knowing what he will do. The only question I would mention, what would make Anne happy?

Jokes fit for me, tears of a clown so to speak. I accept Sarah's leaving as something she was already convinced she had to do to save her daughter and the suicide prevention just triggered her move. fully expecting to live out her new life doesn't surprise me that DaddyJJ was arranged.

It would have been even more interesting if Justine had not died and James letter arrived. The interplay between the former and future wife would provide many complications and removed what appears as a crutch of a coincidence.

However I really enjoyed the story as is and appreciate your creativity.

It was good , glad you stopped before you made him a cucky little bitch boy like HDK. so as far as this story goes . I critic it as you only have to lick my use condom

The scene where the dad gets his daughter back is difficult to believe. If the courts overlooked the wife's taking of the daughter away for months, surely they would overlook the mom and daughter's temporary stay at a hotel. In the real world, the courts would be lenient towards the mom again and would not give the daughter back to the dad.

I would have loved some more contractions

Though this is a very thought provoking story that did not make me feel easy or comfortable.

Without several turns of chance, this story might have gone in more comfortable directions.

Sarah is both hero and villain. I both admire and loathe her. James was simply a pile of steaming shit and I hope Sarah puked in her mouth and swallowed it every time he fucked her whorish cunt.

Brad lived, however, and so did Anne do partially to her terrible decisions and some luck.

This is actually a terrifying tale morally that was written almost too lightly if well.

Sarah had to know, BTW, that if Brad was desperate enough to kill himself, he wasn't lying about killing James or maybe even her.

I have no ambiguous thoughts about her deception concerning the summer vacation /experimental drug trial with Anne.

Sarah fully deserved every ounce of pain she experienced but at the same time, she at least earned the happiness with her daughter and maybe a shot at her husband again?

Rough and beautiful puzzle.

didn't like the way it ended with Brad. The lack of communication has to be accepted since it is a decice the drives the plot. However Brad almost running away because he was so upset about Sarah's solution, acknowleging Sarah was thinking of everyone's beat interests but being concerned he would wake up without a kidney made Brad selfish and unlikable. When Brad showed up at Sarah's door wanting to have a converstion and quoting a saying about being forced to face what you are trying to avoid, I didn't care about how it worked out for him. I would have preferred a more civil conversation at Sarah's old place without the A Few Good Men speech (kind of a light-hearted exchange for a conversation that ended so dramatically), leaving it with them settling on not knowing where they will end up but will work something out if just for Anne's sake. Otherwise liked the story, and appreciate your efforts. Thanks.

I disagree with HIV - the wife saw that she could (maybe) get healing for her daughter by marrying James and hence prevent hubby from offing himself. Interesting that James ended up hoisting himself on his own petard. Great story.

I will say you totally missed with Sarah and her non reaction to the letter describing how James orchestrated their family's destruction and was easily part of the reason Brad was desperate enough to kill himself, all so he could treat her like a whore. Much of their despair was caused so he could get his dick wet in Sarah.

You did not flesh Sarah out well in the end at all. This story still gets an easy 5* because the writing was good and the plot Machiavellian.

What is it with authors in this section of the site, that they love to write about men suffering trauma as deep as the loss of a loved one and then being scolded for being sad about it?

but there is always the element of doubt if a rogue wave should appear, TK U MLJ LV NV

4 stars because I found the idea for this story pretty interesting, but I have to agree with the points made by anon's "Good Potential Wasted".

A very good, interesting story with a different twist. Well written but it would have taken one more short paragraph at the end to give it a 5 rather than 4. Long time no see.

T.T.

Nice tale.

Cool twist.

Well, except for the last twisting wind wise.

Needs a close.

I love your ideas and your writing but this story is not finished. There are too many unanswered questions.

Cordially,

Cladymoor

Kind of reminds me of O'Henry's GIFT OF THE MAGI - only a dark version.

Very nice original tale!

5*

Let's take the story prior to the revelations from James' letter. Here was a father willing to kill himself to provide the funds for his sick child. Completely a noble man. But now the wife solves the same riddle in a different way. Again, forget she does it to prevent Brad killing himself to provide the funds, but instead she does it because she knows they are behind on the rent, no money to survive with a sick child, and does it because James has the funds. Then why doesn't Brad, who is willing to kill himself for his sick child, now have such hatred for Sarah who is obviously doing whatever she can for that same child? He is willing to give up his life for his child, but apparently cannot set aside his male ego for the same effort.

What she did was the logical decision (again, even if she didn't know about Brad wanting to kill himself for the child). Just like he was willing to kill himself for the love of his child, she was willing to marry a man she didn't find attractive, for his money, for her child. I have the highest regard for a mother (or a parent) who will do anything for the welfare of her child. Even if she ends up prostituting because she has no other options. Before James' letter to me Sarah was an honorable character. I didn't need the information from James' letter for me to see her that way. A piece of literature that has the chance to be a classic would not have had that letter from James or the knowledge that followed. The story post the letter took what could have been a great story to a Hallmark type of story where a story has to be chewed and mouth fed to satisfy those incapable of digesting complex human drives and experiences.

But in the end I can justify the letter in that it showed another complex character, James. Here was a person who never had women attracted to him act selfishly in his drive to acquire the one woman he always wanted. Yes, very selfish, but by a man who never had much given to him (again talking about love and affection from women). But in the end when he doesn't really need to be gracious, he rises to the occasion and rights a wrong and is generous to Brad, Sarah and to a lesser degree Anne who already had the love of both of her parents.

I have given it a 5 because it certainly deserves a score better than the low 4's it currently has. Something to me is lacking to make it a truly a great story for the ages, but after my first reading I cannot put my finger on it quite yet. Perhaps it was because of the happy Hollywood ending. Perhaps my aversion is because I live a little too close to Hollywood :).

As stated above, no way to win in this situation. Interesting read.

5* in my humble opinion.

Napoleon quoted Voltaire: ” God is on the side of the big battalions.”

Great story, I so enjoy your sense of humor.

Brad was not all pure and white hat. Let's not forget that he was willing to defraud the life insurance company, and the taxpayers through his suicide. Also, he wasn't able to step aside from himself to see the selfless act Sarah was undertaking, in marrying a man she never found attractive for the sake of their daughter. Last, he knew how James, an unattractive man, had a thing for Sarah and he asked Sarah to flirt with James, using James' unfulfilled feelings to benefit their financial need. He didn't think about how that false promise could effect James. He just cared about their financial need. I can excuse the defrauding of the insurance company and taxpayers because he was a desperate man, and I believe for the sake of one's child cheating, lying and stealing can be excused. I can even excuse his not thinking about James' feelings for the same reason. Although, I do find it a bigger character flaw his animosity towards Sarah, as he must have realized she was sacrificing herself for her child (even before James' letter). As stated in my prior post, he put his ego before everything else. In fact, it was the elegant solution and something he should have encouraged, instead of impeding.

James in many ways was a tragic and desperate figure as well. Here was a very unattractive man (the story doesn't go into if it was only physically or he had a creepy personality on top as well) who never had a girlfriend and the only female companionship he had was to pay for them. This undesired man falls in love with a high school student and becomes obsessed with her only to see her flirt, fall in love and marry another man. His options were not that of a normal man who loses his primary choice, but is able to find love with another woman. I cannot imagine being a man who is never flirted with, desired or loved by women, and he only sought that from one woman, not a multitude of the opposite gender. This undesired man sees the opportunity to finally get what he thought was the love of the woman he always desired and he took extroardinary measures to get her. He so loved and desired Sarah that he was willing to sell his business, lose all his future livelihood and financial security, to spend all that money to take a 1/3 chance in healing Sarah's daughter. If that doesn't clarify that James was not merely coveting another man's wife that he found attractive, but that it was an overwhelming love and desire of this one woman. Another desperate man taking extroardinary measures to achieve his desired want and need. I'm not suggesting both were equally worthy goals, just that both did it out of desperation and evolutionary theory would suggest out of their own self interest. And let's not forget that Sarah ultimately used James. She knew she will never love him, but she took what she could from him for the sake of her daughter.

Last, I didn't see Sarah having these compromises. What she did was to hurt herself to help her daughter without hurting anyone else. She went to be and marry a man so unattractive to women that the only way he could get any female attention was to pay for it, to benefit her daughter. Knowing what we know from James' letter she didn't even take for granted hurting Brad to save Sarah. That was even part of her equation to sacrifice herself to save her husband's life. And while I could understand Brad being upset (as likely I would be) that he wasn't allowed in the decision making circle about Anne's treatment in Europe, but Sarah's reasoning that if things went wrong (1/3 chance Anne would die) she wanted only one of them to live with the guilt of that decision. So again she sacrificed herself for the sake of Brad's mental well-being.

In this post I'm not trying to rank in descending order who was the better person. Just point out that three tragic figures, took desperate and extroardinary measures to further a NEED (can even say James' was a need and not merely a want). The difference being that two of the three characters got what they wanted and at the end of the story seemed like they were on their way to reconciliation and a happy ending. The third never got the love he desired and died with a pain in the ass.

"As stated above, no way to win in this situation."

I was just thinking about that. Actually, I believe there was...

1) instead of Sarah going behind Brad's back, she tells him she knows he's planning a suicide and that it would be easily uncovered by investigators. Plus... don't do it because she loves him... obviously!

2) She tells Brad that James has offered to help her get treatment for their sick daughter if she gets a divorce to be with him.

3) Sarah strings James along all through the divorce, never doing anything with him, just as it happens in the story: "not until after we were legally wed did she even grant me a kiss."

4) Brad pretends to be heartbroken to make it authentic.

5) Anne gets treatment and... lives.

6) Sarah says "cheers for the cash ahole" and leaves James.

7) Sarah goes back to Brad without having to so much as touch James.

8) Evil James dies of ass cancer.

9) Mom, Dad, and daughter live happily ever after.

There, a big win for the good guys with no drawbacks!

Even if Sarah didn't plan it all along, it still makes no sense her screwing and marrying James. As soon as Anne was treated and recovered, she should have just ditched James and told Brad the truth. Anne had already fleeced James for all his cash (on Anne's treatment), so she wasn't exactly staying with him because he'd be a good provider and she certainly wasn't interested in him sexually... so why do it?

Almost all the writers know a mother's sacrifice always has a bigger impact and so is used for movies and books...For instance "Sophie's choice": a two and a half hour movie, with a lot of incidences, but what people that watch it will remember all their lives? The scene where she had to make the choice! People can forget the whole story, what happened in the movie, its ending but never that moment...4*

A few minor spelling mistakes but, overall a 5* great story. Thank you.

So well constructed and written. I did NOT see the ending. THANKS!!! Rock on. drmike

I mean, for God's sake, you left us with this ending? That just pisses me off! This was a tad convoluted. Up, down and around as it were. But Sarah made WAY too many decisions by herself and for herself. And if James hadn't died, she'd still be stuck. Or not. What happens when Brad, in despair of her actions, kills himself anyway? What happens when Anne dies? Sarah took desperate gamble after desperate gamble and I don't see him rewarding her by getting back together with her. As he correctly points out, what happens when she gets the next wild hair up her ass? Will he survive? And as to the theme of this little ditty - three waves. Not very nautical of you. But I was angrier when you didn't finish the damn story.

Was ready to give this story at least a 4, maybe a 5. But was left with too many unanswered questions at the end to do so. The story was good as far as it went, unfortunately I can’t vote on something incomplete. Thanks to the author for a good read and shining the light on a problem in the insurance industry and a continuing problem in the affordability of healthcare for some conditions.

This is shit writing, and you even refer to the child by the suicidal second hand sluts name. There's nobody to like here, a stupid suicidal asshole ready to abandon his wife and child to commit insurance fraud suicide, a second woman who experts only for a ffree handout and see and a second suppose who magically gets cancer and chores a disease at the same time. Apparently this got can even sorry a family by not even working or only on 150 a day. Idiotic poorly written tripe. You have a start, but not worth reading yet.

Thank-you for the rollercoaster ride of emotions. You wrote beautifully with enough blind curves to throw off even the most ardent college english professor. I am just sorry that I could not give tbis story a score greater than a five.

Oh my goodness, did Blackrandi ask all of you to write incomplete stories of length?

But a good on just the same. James was a shit and got exactly what he deserved. I'm not sure where I stand on Sarah, but I don't like her at all. What a noble woman, to just walk out on a man at his lowest ebb. Justine was the best person in the story, with Brad right there with her. Not killing James had to be a difficult decision for him to make. Thanks for leaving the ending vague. In my ending, Brad and Anne lead a happy life, and Sarah gets her just reward after killing Brad's love completely.

It was ok. Just a story. All other errors aside, there is one glaring error that is finally getting to me. Why is it that most if not all authors can't tell the difference between collage and college? It gets tiring seeing this. For the most part like your writing and stories. Keep it up. But please, collage or college.

lets start off with the fact that I liked it.

I was reading quickly, and so the kind of disconnect I got was partially my fault - I didn't get into the initial setting of the scene (happy couple made for each other) and so the angst did not get personal for me.

As a plotting exercise, it was a bit new - really taking the "child first" credo seriously is unusual, for all of the basically self centered folks in the world almost impossible. I am pleased to see it here.

Which means that Johns' manipulation of Sarah is matched by Sarah's manipulation of John. Dark to see, this. The final resting point of the protagonist was not made clear - I am okay with ambiguity, but here I am not sure it serves due to the unusual plot - since we rarely see the interior of the woman making those sacrifices for her child, the resolution isn't open so much as vague. The switch reveal at the end was not rooted in emotion to me - I would have liked a little more foreshadowing, but then again perhaps my speed of reading was partially to blame.

But it could be me... I find "Sabine Women" to be one of the story lines that really rile me, and going down that route is hard.

Good to see your work - it has been rare of late. Thanks.

Green-something

You know for a little while I saw this devolving into a soap opera. It picked up and turned into a respectable tale. For those commenters asking for a continuation, I feel sorry for them as they don't get it. Also it contains irony and karma which I didn't expect. So, well done cpete.

Five Stars

The story, while well done, and with a good final plot twist, was equally a vehicle for a running string of comic quips. I think I giggled all the way through - and now I’m going to go back through and “borrow” my favorites - from Jesus and Alzheimer’s to shit in my hands and clap - That was truly a treat. Thanks*****

well written

for once the person did the right thing and got a divorce instead of cheating

just goes to show what lengths some people will go to for their love of their child

i enjoyed the story from start to finnish so WELL DONE

This was a well written story of fun and sadness. A perfect combination.

Sarah or James and a better ending would have been "Little Orphan Anne" coming back to live out her new live with the only person in the story who was crapped on and still loved her through it all.... Her Dad

We are led to believe there were no bad people in this story, only flawed people who made bad, desperate, choices, and mistakes.

No matter how I analyze the options, it appears to me that, given what they could not control, if Sarah had not married James Anne would most probably be dead. And it is only in a Godless faithless world where Anne's life is more important than her parents' virtue, ethics, and love. What cpete illustrated is "virtue" in a world where the end justifies the means. Perhaps that is part of what feels so awkward and wrong about this story. The driving force behind the plot and reconciliation is that people can be forgiven almost any negative act if the act was intended to produce a good result. And if the bad behavior does produce positive results then the behavior is positively virtuous! In the end, Anne is surround and saved by heroes! There is a reason why such a plot premise smells and tastes bad. It is a perversion of normal morality and ethics, and moral ethical people sense it, know it.

James was so desperate for Sarah that he sacrificed his wealth, his dignity, and his ego, just to eek out some form of relationship with her, at whatever cost. Brad told him that if Anne dies James dies. But James already knew that if Anne dies, Sarah would leave him. Anne's continued life was Jame's only hold on Sarah, so he did everything he could to help Sarah help Anne survive. But does anyone doubt that James would have happily allowed Anne to die if he somehow could still keep Sarah? Anne was the major connection between Sarah and Brad. James sacrifices had nothing to do with virtue or love, they were all acts of self interest and manipulation to keep Sarah. That is why we are repelled when Sarah's final evaluation of James is that he was "not a bad man." His evil actions resulted in Anne's survival, so the end justifies the means, and absolves the predator. Sarah made a bargain with the devil, and thinks she has won. Cpete appears to have written it so. In the real world it will not be so. Reality and the truth can be delayed, but they cannot be avoided.

Anne's continued happiness and life will now be the entire justification for Sarah's and Brad's future relationship, whatever form it takes. Anne will eventually discover that essentially Sarah, her mother, became a prostitute to save her life. And once Anne learns the truth about the total price paid by her parent's for her life, she will take on a sense of debt, and perhaps guilt, to now live her life for them. Anne will feel obligated to live her life not for herself, but to live it so as to justify, even honor, the perverse sacrifices her parents, but mostly Sarah, made for her benefit. I wonder how long it will be before any gratitude becomes overwhelmed by her sense of obligation, and guilt. How will Anne ever disagree and act contrary to her parent's wishes without appearing selfish and ungrateful? How will Anne justify taking any risks in career, profession, sports, hobbies? How long will it be before Anne's obligation and debt morph into resentment? If Anne somehow develops a sense of morals and ethics stronger than her parents, she will realize that no number of wrongs can add up to make a right. Anne will realize that in order to give her more years of life, Sarah sacrificed her marriage, her self respect, and her and her father's happiness.

There are so many ways the long term story of Sarah and Brad and Anne might progress. Cpete has given us a tumultuous and heart wrenching beginning. I wonder if someday, someone will take up the task of telling us if the end was worth the cost.

Thank you cpete for a very intriguing plot and thought provoking story. It is good.

After Brad took Anne for the day--when he threatened James--Sarah's anger seemed out of sync with her reasons to leave Brad. I would think Sarah would still be guilt-ridden from leaving Brad and more responsive to his feelings. I don't see the same contradiction in the abrupt summer vacation with James; she was committed to Anne's treatment and short-cutting the conversation with Brad--that might have led to a court injunction not to leave the country--is in keeping with that commitment. Just an outstanding, enjoyable read both times so far. thanks.

Well plotted. Wonderful character development. Generous surprises in the events and character motivation. Like how important the parental love figured in. And how human and foolish some solutions are that individuals come up with that are not helpful or helpful to some but so painful for others. A slice of reality in that many of us who are parents and grandparents know the lengths we would go to if necessary for the life of those we love in the generations following us. 5 stars and wish I could give more.

Excellent, though I do agree that Justine's death was too mechanical for me. On the other hand, artificial events are used by the best authors of short stories in order for the moral dilemma to be presented.

What an emotional roller coaster for this group of people. Decisions thought to be made for good purposes but with sad results for some. A lot of “real life” in this story. I am sure your story strikes home to a lot of people who know others with severe or fatal medical issues. Our hearts break for those. Sorry you didn’t find an editor to correct some minor issues but not enough to erase this fine story. 5*.

Really enjoyed that. You packed a lot of stuff in 4 pages. That is tight writing. Lots of twists and turns, nothing foreshadowed, really excellent story. 5*

I would have enjoyed hearing if they reconcile, but you did enough to let me ignore that.

I think I can make the argument justifying *almost* all of Sarah's actions.

* She was plausibly not worried about her husband committing suicide after she left, because she knew he didn't *want* to kill himself, he was just willing to sacrifice his life, and she took away the need for that.

* She plausibly had Anne call James 'Daddy J' not to make him happy (he didn't care), but because she hoped that making James bond with the girl would make him more willing to spend money on her.

* She stayed with James because she was going to keep her devil's bargain, because she didn't think there was anything left to go back to with Brad, and possibly because she afraid of what might happen if she left and then Anne relapsed in some way.

The one thing I have trouble with is the "James was not a bad man", because he quite objectively was a piece of shit who deliberately chose an insurance plan to fuck over her daughter's medical care. I find it difficult to imagine how Sarah could read that letter, and then react as though she had just read a grocery list.

Justine was a little too on-the-nose. She was a magical anime girlfriend who appeared from nowhere, existed only to make Brad's life happy, and then disappeared at a convenient time (and came with bonus lawsuit money for no readily-discernible reason) to get out of the way for possible reconciliation.

... which I'm not sure I find plausible. Yeah, Sarah sacrificed her relationship with Brad for her daughter, and that's admirable and everything, but at the end of the day, that changed both of them, and I'm not sure she gets to take her sacrifice back.

There's also the pretty abnormal lack of any emotion displayed by Sarah during the whole experience, which combined with her making coldly logical choices, makes her come off to me as a sociopath, or someone with a disorder of some sort.

I might be able to admire what Sarah did, but I'm not sure I'd ever want to turn my back on her.

This story had a very imaginative storyline, head and shoulders above the usual entry on this site. Having an editor would have helped in a few spots, I'm sure, but this was a fine effort in any case. Well done, sir!

I must apologize to the readers, and to Cpete. It is my fault that the story didn't get the edit it deserved. I just ran out of time. I had to be away on a business trip and I just couldn't get to it. Still, it is a remarkable story, and I am very grateful for this legend answering the call and writing his heart out. You have my respect and admiration. Five stars.

"Sorry, Sir, your girlfriend was hit by a RAAC truck... she had no chance."

I almost joined James and Justine in untimely death after reading this. I couldn't breathe. Well done.

As for the story...it reminded me of those stories where the characters change so much between chapters to fit the ending that they're unrecognizable...except this story was only one chapter.

The Good: It was pretty original. The writing was good, and you conveyed emotions well. I enjoyed most of the humor. You may want to hire Powersworder to punch up the jokes in your next piece. The story really tugged the ol' heartstrings right up until Brad met his Manic Pixie Dream Girl, Justine. Speaking of Justine:

The Bad: I didn't buy Justine as a character. She seemed to fall in love with this guy over his corny dialogue in a matter of seconds. Why the rush? It's almost like she knew she was only a plot device, and her time was short.

I don't buy the little twisteroo with Sarah, either. For someone so concerned with her husband's planned suicide, she certainly had no qualms about leaving him alone, with no warning, at the lowest point of his life, taking his daughter with her for another man, a day before she knew that he was already secretly planning to take his own life. She also was needlessly bitchy and combative towards him from that point on. I mean, Anne is his daughter too. A daughter he was clearly willing to die for...it might have been nice to convince Daddy J to spring for another plane ticket so Daddy Real could spend what was looking to be the last summer of his daughter's life with her, too, instead of being stuck back home, alone, frustrated, betrayed, and, as she apparently knew, potentially suicidal. "James wasn't a bad man." Maybe not compared to her.

Nah, even then. What a douche. I'm glad he was cremated and scattered to the winds. He didn't belong buried in the same earth as fake but fun Justine.

Oh. I forgot one more under The Good column: You had the dignity to end it at a point where we could at least pretend the RAAC train wasn't pulling in any second.

The Ugly: Marge's attitude. Hoooliee sheeit. I've heard of tough love, but berating him like that the day after his wife's funeral? The last time I saw someone treat a person they care about with such blatant disrespect and contempt, they were softening them up for their new cuck status in a RAAC Loving Wives tale. Seriously, why do the friends and family always act like that in those stories? Does that ever happen in real life? The whole extended family and friends uniting to insist their loved one return to a cheater against his will? At least in this case, it was only dear old Marge, and let's face it, she seemed the type to wake her common law sailor husband in the middle of a stormy night with a shotgun pointed at his face and accuse him of being a ghost. (Still a better wife than Sarah; but she's no Justine.)

All in all, I enjoyed the read, and I thank you for the story, cpete. Also, thanks to Randi for another Legends Day.

Cog

A great story with a lot of surprising twists. Well done! I loved the humour, some of it subtle and some of it wide open, hitting you right in the head. I enjoyed the characters and how they were portrayed, especially crusty Marge. It shocks me that you Yanks, as rich as you are, have a commercial health system that you need lots of money to get medical treatment. I don't understand why you can't be like the other modern economy democracies where no one dies because they couldn't see a doctor or get treatment.

Good story as it pulled the hate he had for his ex and what she did out of my thoughts. I’m no great perfect person but once I’m betrayed do deeply in such a surprising way I could never forgive her. The letter would be good to hear but would make it worse. She waited to kiss him and fuck him means she didn’t cheat but once his dick was in her and her naked body was pleasure for him it would never be the same for me. Call me juvenile I’m smart enough to get it but I’m also a man of honor, loyalty and loving enough to only need one woman to live through our vows with. I get him taking her back at the end to be with his daughter but he build his love up to where it was to stay with her when his daughter is old enough to move on and live on her own. I think in his shoes that’s would be on my mind all those years. The devestation a woman does to a mans heart and ego in itself is enough but taking your dying child away in the process is a million fold . Than they take her for two months with no warning is unacceptable. I might’ve gone and found them and killed them both, no answered phone calls even.

My big concern is what others mentioned, that if brad was thinking of offing himself to pay for annie's care her cold way of breaking with him to be with james and money for annie's care would drive him to kill himself, he literally would have nothing to live for,she may have done that to mask what she was intending,basically selling herself to james, but he would take it as 'see you soon,loser'. For the commenters accusing him of insurance fraud, it wouldnt be. Most life insurance policies exclude suicide for a certain period,like a year or two, but after that they would have to pay out.

Like others the ending implies they will get back together, the story to me would be even better if we saw that process:)

...and plenty of drama to keep readers happy.

While this story was somewhat more difficult for me to read, owing to the references to Orphan Diseases, one of which has forever altered the lives of my siblings and I, it was none-the-less an excellent story.

Point taken on the editing and time issues you cite. I’ll be glad when your volunteer editors can put their fingers to keyboard to take some of the rough edges off. I suppose a good speed check was also too much to hope for.... ah well. Ya pays yer money and ya takes yer seat. I will say it was worth far more than I paid and the time I invested in reading it. The twist at the end was nice, though after All that, I doubt I could do much better than not snarl at her every time we were in the same room. It was too cruel, kicking him at the bottom of his existence. And her explanation/excuse was a bit too contrived...even flimsy to justify all the crap that rolled onto our hero.... nope, I’m still not bought in to her explanation.

But that said, I enjoyed every word of it. You characterize people so well, given them personalities that we can connect with, relate to, love, hate, just never ignore.

Thank you.

We've seen a few stories,

where the writer kills spouses

to enable reconciliation.

I've always found it distasteful

and certainly not realistic.

But most of us need a little fairytale moment

once in a while.

At this moment all the world holds its breath

in hope of a fairytale ending in Thailand.

And that all the 12 boys will be rescued from the cave.

This story has all the drama of a good fairytale.

Nothing is as dramatic as a sick/ poor/ dying child.

The plot is nearly solid and well written at that.

But not solid enough to deserve top ratings, IMHO.

4 out of 5 from me.

That is the biggest pile of rubbish I have EVER seen on this site.

Oddly sweet.

I think your dialog would be improved by using contractions.

The milk and cookies line alone was worth 5 stars and a fave. A fun read considering the sad subject matter.

This was a great contribution to Randi's little literary party. It was a moving ride through humor and sadness.

Well written.

Of course, the anonymous guys with fragile egos and little balls will trash both you and the story, but that is more a reflection of them than anything else.

Nice tale.

Thanks!

Great story. Five out of five. One of the best I've read in a long time.

But I hated the ending.

But I still gave it a five which shows how much I liked it.

Love the protagonists sarcastic wit and snark. Really gives him character. And he was both inge, creative and had a backbone. Dude didn't take shit from anyone. Wife is selfish but I can't say she wasn't looking out for her daughter. Bad situation all around and then you had the opertunitic snake of James. Sadly he didn't doe soon enough, but thankfully Karma made him its bitch.

good betrayal some twistsand turns and a well done reconciliation.

Everything from and including Justine's death was just garbage, felt like the author got tired and took a dump all over the story.

Just too ridiculous and contrived, awful characterisation with the most cringeworthy letter and subsequent dialogue I've read in a long time.

Not to mention that the author desperately needs a proofreader. All aspects of this story could use a rewrite.

I'm sorry I wasted my time reading this story, I certainly won't make that mistake with anything else the author has written.

A rarity in this category, a reasoned LW story with well written characters and a motive for the cheater that did make some sense and didn't have to rely on the famous martaian slut ray.

Great work, cpete. Thanks for a very enjoyable read. 5*

Another great cpete story!

Boyd Percy

I think this is an excellently told story with great characters and a nice thoughtful twist at the end.

That I miss FTDS. You've left us on the doorstep of a RAAC, but whether they do or don't get back together is left to imagination.

The story is much deeper than for it to be resolved with a BTB ending others commenters suggested. The story was always about the little girl illness with the marriage disintegration as vehicle to propose the question from the author to the reader. "What would you be willing to suffer through to save the life of your child?"

It's a moral ethics question.

5 stars.

Another POS unfinished story.

I hate the mother character in this. She tries to matyr herself as taking the hit, while denying him a say in that discussion . In reality id be glad the girl was still alive but id hate the mother for the rest of my life. NO matter what he did have the right to at least have his say and she did what she wanted. I wouldnt burn her just ignore her

That’s a long way to reach for there to be nothing there. A story with no ending is no story, it’s a waste of time.

I am willing to ignore the grammatical errors and rate this on just the story. How many people are willing to sacrifice their potential happiness for love? This woman showed her love for both her husband and her daughter. To paraphrase one of my favorite sayings - "It is easy to die for love. What is hard is to live for love! Her willingness to endure a loveless marriage saved the two people she loved. His futile action would have done nothing but but bring pain to the two people he loved. If he truly loves his daughter, he needs to find a way to unite his family and live the life her sacrifice provided.

First, this is a pretty decent story. The premise the wife divorces her suicidal husband to save their daughter is disturbing. Liked the sailing characters Marge and CPO. They're crusty on the outside, but heart of gold on the inside. Hated Justine getting killed off, but saw it coming. Everything was going too good for the protagonist.

Second, for the person thinking socialized medicine would have saved Anne. Probably not. Socialized medicine and commercial insurance are not much different. The main difference is who runs and pays for it. Not sure having government, who can't even issue auto licenses efficiently, is better. They both use cost vs benefits analysis. Considering Dave had to sell his business, to spend millions for a procedure which has a 33% success rate, it's highly unlikely the government would approve the procedure. Why is the group performing the procedure which more than likely exists in a country with socialized medicine accepting outside money? Commercial insurance with its shortcomings has an advantage, availability of non-routine care. In the US, medical care is pretty much readily available, not necessarily so in Canada. I have a friend, who moved from US to Vancouver, is on a waiting list to get a primary physician when moved in with his wife, because there are not enough available doctors. For now, he'll has to use clinics.

Mixed feelings for this story. Like the unique story line, especially for one on literotica. Not keen on the plot twist. Considering Blackrandi gave a short lead time to get this done, I think it's pretty remarkable.

A truly powerful story. The kind of story that you don't forget and once you finish reading want to go bakc and read again looking dor details you missed on the first read.

notredame43 has a huge point. She left her husband out of the decision process. They obviosuly lacked communication. Each one of them thought or did what they thought was best (him planning his "accident", her whoring herself for money for her daughter. I don't care how noble her feelings were that's what she did).

As soon as she knew what he was doing she should have talked him out of it. A simple "if you do that I'll tell the police it wasn't an accident" would have killed his plans. All her explanations at the end are just excuses.

her excuses for not tellinghim about the experimental treatment are pathetic too. ""I had already caused you enough pain, I could not bear to give you any more." Truth was the she didn't want him and his lawyer throwing stones in her what she thought it was best. She took the easy way out as she did with their marriage. She lied and went behind his back. Actingin a selfish, even for good reasons, is still selfish.

There are a few details that doesn't ring true in her story anyway. "Daddy J" would be the worst for me. Even if it was the asshole idea, there was no way she wouldn't know. If she loved her husband as she claimed she did, she should have objected the "Daddy J" name.

Then we have the "restraining order conversation". No signs of her supposed love for her ex husband there either.

Even at the end, when she confronted him with the asshole's leeter, her words were "James was not a bad man". She didn't say "I'm sorry, it was the only way to save our daughter's life" or whatever. Her first fucking words were to defend the asshole! Even knowing all he did!!

The way she defended James is also out of character for a wife who's sacrificing herself and still loves her (ex) husband. Yeah, it's more dramatic this way, but it doesn't fit in her story and makes her look simply as someone who traded up and then when he died, is lying her way to a seconde chance.

The asshole letter makes no difference for me. He was a true piece of shit but he was infatuated with Sarah, so, knowing he was going to die and she'll be broke, he might have written the letter to give Sarah a way back to her ex husband.

You proved she loved her daughter, but not that she loved her husband. She never did anything to ease the pain that she brought to him. She doesn't show ANY sign of remorse, even at the end. No signs that she desperately wants him back. Till the end she's acting like a entitled bitch. "You can't handle the truth". Sorry, I watched the movie too and no matter how powerful that sentence is, it doesn't fit in this the story.

When James died she should be at his door on her knees explaining him everything an begging him to take her back. She didn't.

My explanation fits better the facts you gave us than yours.

I see a lying d eceitful conniving cunt. Hmmm.....let me clean my glasses.

Yup. Lying cunt is still there. Love story my ass.

she did it for herself and not to save him and her daughter. In real life many couples deal with this every day by working together and not by grabbing the first sugar daddy that comes along. May she burn in hell.

I have read most of your stories by now. You are truly one of the best writers here. We miss you.

An incredible journey through this relationship. I'm blown away by your skill at weaving stories.

Please, spare all us unwashed the philosophy and just finish the story. What there was of it was great, but I don’t think another half page would kill the author and it might provide a reasonably satisfying ending.

I usually love your work but, this has to be the dumbest most contrived ending I have ever read.

... the puns, metaphors, rhymes, aphorisms, “sayings”, etc. (many of which I’m sure I missed since I’m not very good readed in literary things) might have detracted from the story telling ... ah, who am I kidding. There is no way I — me, myself — could have written this this well. You’re just making me feel bad/jealous of your skills.

4.5-stars

Had the angst and tension that great spellbinding stories have.

When Sarah divorced, I kept on the lookout for how she did it for the child, just as his planned suicide was for the child. What I did not see, was HOW it was for the child, nor that she knew about his suicide and also wanted to prevent that.

I hate unfinished stories. But this was not one. Just as Mom's sacrifice was evident before it was spelled out, so is the reconciliation ending without it being spelled out. Even so, I would probably prefer it to be recounted.

One of the great Literotica stories. Of which there are very, very few.

Unquestionably 5 stars.

Paul in Oklahoma

People here write scat stories, I can get by that.

They write cuck srories, I get past those too.

Extreme emotional pain? All right.

BDSM? OK

Stories about brutal treatment? Bring it on.

Truely sick fetishes? Par for the course.

But must be some limit; some base standards. For pity's sake, for the sake of the readers - please never quote Coldplay here agan.

I'd never take a cheating cunt back

Contrary to others I think this story is very clever and well written. If there was ever a valid reason to “dump” your spouse this is the only one I can think of. It has to be something extraordinary and selfless. Other similar stories I’ve read are either weak in the reasoning or villainize the wife.

**********

in order to avoid losing her husband and depriving her daughter of her father when she need him most . . .

She deliberately lost her husband and deliberately deprived her daughter of her father when she need him most, and willingly went to the man who set up the scenario to begin with by getting him fired and pressuring the back to foreclose?