All Comments on 'Thunderstruck'

I am beyond frustrated attempting to locate an editor. I again contacted five editors. I waited over three weeks and again had no responses. so I am asking for help here. If any potential editors have enjoyed reading my stories and would like to help me by editing my next story, I would be very grateful. Please submit a comment under your pen name and will get in touch. I want my stories to be at their best for those who enjoy reading them. Waiting over three weeks without a reply is so frustrating and this is the second story I attempted to locate an editor with no success. So, ... here's to hoping there's someone interested in the job and thank you to those of you who send me comments privately and publicly. These warm wishes and praise have been appreciated and interesting to read. I hope you like this latest story too. It's not as nonconsent as the prior two, but it is a reluctance story. I am working on one that has a very dominant male and when the story burns the pages, not just steams them, I'll submit it, hopefully with an editor's perusal first. I'll keep working on my stories, but I do want to again thank all of you for reading my stories! You guys are the greatest and make me want to do better every time. ; )

But I think you did a fine job on this story. I plan to follow you in the future. Well done. 5 stars from me.

Hi. Great story, great writing and great intensity! I'm afraid I'm not an editor either, but if you've at least an ear for correct grammar, use an App to read your text aloud to you as it's A easy way to spoRt common typEOs. Looking forward to your next work! BTW, you might enjoy "God of Mischief and Lies" by firefaery. You're in her league! (I hope that's not an insult).

that was a very nice and cute little story. i enjoyed it .hope to read more soon. true romance

I was very engaged with the story until you said she was a best selling author. OF FIVE novels...1. She wouldn't be living in an apartment. 2. She wouldn't be so naive. The air just went out of my balloon then. I like that she calls him Steven, rather than Bear. There was no explanation how he was capable of transitioning from a mechanic to a suave date in a tux. The girl was well described. I could picture her and her reluctance.

i re-read my own story so I could comment on the "be consistent" comment. I hadn't written anything about her living in an apartment. I refer to her house a couple times and to him taking her home once. Abbie's career as a novelist, evolved via my real life friend who writes western novels. She's brilliant and one of the most down to earth and reserved people I know. My friend has had 20 best selling westerns, still resides in a quaint home, she's fun loving, and I suppose my mind went to her when describing Abbie's career. I don't think I was inconsistent because she's cautious about getting labeled as an easy lay. That's not being naive. I describe Abbie leaning back against her house as he caged her in with his arms. She had that confidence sexy women who know guys lust for them exude from every pore of their bodies. Abbie let a guy she'd met less than a week ago bring her to a screaming orgasm and only stopped him short of having full on sex. I wouldn't describe that as particularly naive either. I rather felt she simply wanted to prevent him from labeling her as a slut or easy in his mind. Unfortunately girls don't have the same ease of allowing ourselves to follow passion and jump in feet first because we still live in a world with double standards. I've seen how some guys treat women who let passion and lust guide them. It's not naive to protect yourself from that double standard it's essential. Next, Steven or Bear's transition from mechanic to hot guy; I know from personal experience any guy, regardless of his profession, can wear the hell out of a suit or tux and renting one isn't that costly. I guess I could have clarified that better though. I can't say how much I appreciate these type of kind criticisms though because they help me learn what readers are thinking. I knew of the phrase "the devil's in the details", but it couldn't be more accurate or apt than when you are writing stories as the details make the picture in your mind. I will try to remember to account for these more completely and I do appreciate the comment as I need to learn what people like and don't regarding my stories. I don't want readers wandering down paths I hadn't intended and getting lost in a dark corner I didn't illuminate well.

I'm glad you liked Abbie using Steven's name. He made a point of letting Abbie know his name and I believe he did that for a purpose or why mention it? I like the thought that he wanted to reserve his given name for her only. Anyway now that I've written a novel and you've gone blind reading it, I want to simply thank all the readers for the wild ride this story's release has been for me. It's been up for less than 24 hours and the story has had over 10,000 reads and 125 votes with the average currently at 4.51. I'm stunned and may need CPR or something equally jolting - insert raised eyebrow here if your mind just went in the gutter with mine ... Truly I can't thank everyone of you for your votes, encouragement and kind comments enough. I just started writing and it's an amazing feeling to see that kind of response. Literotica, (with the exception of me finding an editor - which I'm still struggling with) I give you my highest kudos and all the readers ILY! And every time I see my pen name I want to kick my own ass. I really wish I'd picked a better name but C'est la vie! Thanks again to all! ; )

You are extremely talented and I can't wait to see what you write next. Your stories are rich, sexy and hot! Keep it up girl!! 5 stars

So well written and so erotic ---it was incredible!

I would have liked more backstory (How long ago did he move next door, did he grow up in that town? Why is he back? Does he play with engines or is that his job etc) and character work, spread over more chapters but this was still good.

Also, I know Abby was reluctant but I think this would have been better tagged under romance or erotic couplings than noncon/reluctance.

I really value this feedback and can't say thanks enough. I'm quite shocked by the reception my stories have received and frankly I'm reeling with utter disbelief. It's been very encouraging but I need this type of kind and honest critique so I can improve my writing. I didn't think about changing categories, but I should have. This was vastly different than my first two stories. The next one has been written and will be under erotic couplings but it's being edited and yes, I FOUND AND EDITOR!!!! ~ YEAH!! I want to say thanks again to all the readers for the comments and private messages. You've made this all an amazing and exciting adventure for a new writer. ; )

Make that a strong four stars. Very nice piece of erotic fiction. Panther fan.

I loved your style and I'll be following you in the future. What a beautiful story. Thank you.

This is a fun little story with good writing, great potential and I really enjoyed it . I sure hope you keep writing though I do agree this may have been better placed under erotic couplings,p but no matter, it did have reluctance so I see where you went with this category. I really hope you continue to write. I enjoy your style and I've read all three of your stories, sort of out of order though. I will be waiting and following you so don't keep us waiting. I'm anxiously anticipating another excellent story. When you say you're a new writer, I find that hard to believe because you've done a great job. Keep it up. You are gaining fans.

I really see potential with your stories. I love the hot tempered redhead controlled by the handsome, sexy next door neighbor. Why can't a guy like that be my next door neighbor? I do believe I'd like to be ravaged like that. More please.....

I adored this story! I have read others you wrote but I just think this one was above the rest! Great writing! Hope you will post soon!

You won't regret reading anything this author writes. The stories are all in the non-consent reluctance ilk, but they all seem to have a lean towards romance despite the category they are in and each one has me liking both characters and hoping they eventually will overcome their beginning to their relationship and fall head over heels for each other. The stellar writing style has won me over along with the fact that you can't help but get excited reading the scenes created by Ohsohot2takeu. It has been a while since the last submission, but I found the first submission and then just hungrily raced through the rest finding myself now hoping for more. I generally don't like to beg, but I will be strong and admit I am addicted to this author and will have to wait for my next fix, so please Ohsohot2takeu, be merciful and allow me my drug of choice!

I just died and went to heaven. You're amazing!