by Jerrycurious
If you are going to make a criticism of a story - well within your rights - at least make it a coherent comment.
"This was horribly edited," is what you likely meant to say. "This was horribly edit."? Priceless. I don't know if you are right or not, but if I was the author I would have laughed my ass off when I read it.
If you're going to criticise the spelling and punctuation of others, at least ensure yours sets an example - people who live in glass houses, etc...
True, the story itself could use a little help, but I found it hot and sufficiently slow-burn to keep my interest, so well done you! My only criticism really is that it's too damn' short!
More, soon, please!
BB1958
Arrgh you stopped just as it got interesting, way to keep the suspense :)
I enjoyed this. I'm not sure if my Nook formatted the web page correctly, but there seemed to be some formatting issues. Not that big of a deal. I do agree this was a bit short, but it was enjoyable.
It's not the punctuation that matters, it's the wanktuation. Take it in your hand - like so - and rub it up and down as you read - yes, just like that - until - YOWZA! yes, you've got it now. Stop worrying about the form and focus on the content.
What a naive .. Only a child can be so naive, or the guy from the mid-twentieth century