by coaster2
think that says it all...really great story!!...can't wait till your next one!
I really enjoyed reading it and I do hope that you continue it after a while telling us more about your life.
For a novel, a bit short.... But for me the end point was well chosen and the balance between business and romance was just about perfect. Coaster has written a lot of very good stories. Thanks for all your hard work.
I had already seen the first three chapters, but I've spent the last hour and a half reading Chapters 4-10. I know next to nothing about the packaging industry - or at least I did! I won't be able to service the machines, but I was absolutely fascinated by the technical stuff. I'm not worried about the lack of sex - there was enough there to keep me happy. I'm just glad that you put such a wonderful story on this site, because it's the only site of this type that I ever look at!
One could almost say master piece quality, but time well tell. But it is right in there for the title. Great Story line, interesting characters and a chance at life, love and success.
Thank You for Time, Talent, Effort for another great story.
Jerry in Washington State, USA - I knew that the story seemed to be winding down to an ending, but was surprised that this was the last chapter. I much enjoyed how the transition to F & C and Stan's personal life continued to mesh. I very much prefer happy endings to most fiction I read, so I'm very happy with your last chapter and the end of the story. I still feel Amnesia is my favorite story by you that I've read, but this is a close second. I need to read or re-read more of your other stories. Thanks for a satisfying, interesting, and different fiction read.
writing ability by this author is demonstrated in the clear and concise way each character was described and the part they each played in the story. He showed that the man was truly at the crossroad of his life. His ability to show that the he handled his martial and career problems in a mature and morally conscience manner is without a doubt the heart of his story. This writer was consumed by his story and gave his audience a close and personal look at his soul. I must say it is sad that we on Lit have such few writers with this gift.
I look forward to your new stories but this has been a disappointment. Your other stories like "An Absence of Trust" deal with people and emotions this one seems to be bogged down in the intricacies of packaging machines with the people dotted around the edge to give some semblance of a story.
I sincerely hope you get back to writing about people and leave packaging machines to some other writer on some other site
As a field service engineer in a different but parallel industry, I find your description of life in service and repair to be very believable. My congratulations to you for your realistic writing.
First you write specifications then order the equipment. Next you receive it and unpack it. Installation comes next and then training. If everything seems to be working right the alert CEO develops a routine maintenance schedule. Then the service rep divorces his wife. Next you have the service rep travel to all of your plants to train personnel on maintaining their own equipment. At this point in the process, the service rep becomes part owner, and finds a new woman. The new job requires that the rep, now owner, restructure the entire corporation and remarry. The ex-wife finds a new man and, who knows...he may learn all about equipment maintenance and become a service rep.
Being a production engineer sure is exciting, and erotic as hell, isn't it?
A loooooooooooong way to go for that. It seemed to get off to an interesting start (first chapter), and then got lost in minutiae concerning the day-to-day, sundry, dull, boring, slow-moving details of this guy's work life. I just skimmed the last 5 chapters, and was still bored. Like someone else commented, "leave packaging machines to some other writer on some other site". 'Nuff said.
I am familiar with many of the cities you mentioned in this story. I live in Louisville and have been to Evansville, Cinn. and Frankfort many times. Did you perhaps live in the Cinn. area at one time? Skyline? Montgomery Inn BBQ?
Thanks and please keep writing!
If you cut out much of the impertinent details about the unfair labor practices of F&C which was pretty much glossed over with a one paragraph summary and Stan's budding relationship with Theresa Croft which absolutely fizzled, this story could have been condensed quite a bit. I suppose it's true that "brevity is the soul of wit". I just don't understand introducing characters into a story who, in the end, offer nothing.
It was around Chapter 8 that I finally blinked and asked myself 'how much longer?'
This is not to say it didn't hold my interest, but there is only so much interest I have in film forms or the politics of intercultural management techniques.
It held my interest, but it needed more of a human touch. There didn't seem to be a lot of tension in the story.
But I enjoyed it, and that is what counts.
I liked the story, but at least half of the fiddly business details could've been left out with no loss at all. It's good for an author to know those things to add realism, but they don't all need to go into the story.
A lot of the business details could have been left out. And you didn't leave the husband a miserable wreck so that is a real plus.
One of my favorite novels that also happens to be my favorite business book is The Goal by Eli Goldratt. It is a book about a plant manager who once he figures out the bottlenecks and constraints at his plant, is able to concentrate on repairing his home life. Unlike some commenters, I am fascinated by the business side of the story even more than the personal side. This story really held my interest.
Great job. You are my favorite author on this site. Thanks for your work.
Ok123
This story aint way to long and plodding, with zero character passion or emotions.
I loved everything about it, the characters, scope, pacing, and content, but what made it stand out for me was its central concept (and title): tipping point. We go into marriages and careers with the idea of being committed and seeing it through, and particularly don't want to give up on the marriage, but there comes a point where, as a man, you say, "This crossed the line" and you just must act.
I loved that he didn't have to skulk around and prove that she was cheating--the cheating was irrelevant. What counted was the way she was treating him: that is what counted, that is what killed the marriage, and that was sufficient reason whether or not she was cheating. Once your spouse becomes a miserable, unloving, disrespectful bitch, if it can't be turned around, it's time to go and build a new life.
I don't know what kind of a divorce settlement he gave Sylvia, and I don't know what her financial situation is, but it would be magnanimous of him sweeten it a little now.
Commitment what is that; he does not know. Has a problem so does he try to find out what it is no, he runs. Sue is next. When it is time to stand up and be a husband he runs.
Did you read the same story I did?
Commitment? He hung in there through three YEARS of her bullshit!
"Has a problem so does he try to find out what it is no, he runs." Every time he tried to talk to Sylvia about their problems she refused to acknowledge that they HAD a problem, and jumped down his throat!
The idea behind reading a story is to read the story that is there, not what is already in your twisted version of reality. I agree with KarenE again.
You write very well, you engage the reader quickly and carry through. Very few grammatical, spelling, or continuity errors (which tend to really annoy readers like me).
Keep it up. Have fun doing it.
Cheers
I have never related to a story on this site as much as this one. Over 30 years ago, I was an Air Force technician working on a variety of communications equipment. Then with my degree (nights and weekends while in the service) in Electronic Systems, I landed a great engineering job working with flight simulators. Then hired by a company to work on automation and security equipment. I was a jack of all trades, electronics, Pneumatics, Hydraulics, etc. Troubleshooting a difficult technical issue on a new piece of equipment was very satisfying. I became a manager of technicians before selling service contracts then the entire line of my company's products and services. When the company started to decline some with bad management (this was one of the biggest in the world in our industry), I took an early retirement and started my own company at the behest of some of my former customers. Now my old company is one of my vendors. I love business but sometimes miss rolling up my sleeves and opening my tool box to troubleshoot...
A very well developed story including both the plot and the characters.
a good story, but i thought it ended quick. Maybe rushed to finish? It would have been great to let stan go in and clean house of his old bosses. That could have been expanded so much more.
This could have been a great 5 Star.
Really liked character development and the characters. Good plot and pacing of discovery and recovery. A life well lived is best revenge.
The details about solving package machine problems, the plants where they were used ordering and installing machines yada yada yada yada were distracting. Do my yadas give you the experience of how boring and distracting that part of your story was? It could have been four maybe five chapters at most.
giday coaster2,
i like how you get round all of the characters.
if it was perfect, it wouldn't be human drama.
cheers
What a wonderful story, it is well written and has great characters. Coaster2 you delivered another one of your t epic stories.
Well Done 5 stars
Five Stars.
An excellent story, well plotted and well told.
Thank you, Coaster2.
Excellent story! The only thing missing is some sort if payback or karmic event on Peter.
Great story and well told. Peter however... he actively pursued and broke down the admittedly weak defenses of a married woman whose husband traveled for his job. There needs to be costs imposed on such a serpent, a cost he'd never forget. Am I a neanderthal about such things? You bet your ass I am.
5 stars and although it did fit in the LW category, it was a long story about the mechanical machinery industry. Good thing I was involved in similar types of mechanical businesses, as it certainly made a lot of sense to me. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
Yes, the ASSHOLE would have been the beneficiary of a good and painful object lesson about the perils of focusing his predatory skills on married women. Every ASSHOLE out there, needs to be afraid any time they try to involve married women.