All Comments on 'To Play the Whore'

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A very well written story thank you

Well crafted, technically excellent, good character development. But the ending seemed a bit choppy. <p> <p> <p> Perhaps it is because I hold your "Happy Easter" in such high regard, I expect all your work to be its equal. Obviously, that is expecting a lot. I've re-read your "Happy Easter" countless times and rank it as the standard other authors should try for, in this or any other of the sections here. <p> <p> <p> It's all your fault. You set the bar so high you can't always achieve its perfection.

I thought it was an interesting read, but for me I didn't like either wife.

They justified what they were doing as helping their husbands, and Karma's character even went as far as to revel in it, and looked "desperately" for a repeat of this fantastic sex (doing things for her new lover Dodd that she had never done before) because she so greatly enjoyed cheating on her husband. Even going as far as begging him for repeats and for him to never leave her.

It wasn't until she found out that he wasn't going to give her husband the job that she got upset.

That type of character display doesn't really endear her character to many readers. Not someone who so greatly betrays her husband and then tries to do a "poor me" once she doesn't get what she wants after betraying someone who doesn't know what she's been up too. By the ending the reader is aware that if she had said "Do you mind if I sleep with Dodd if it gets you the job" that the husband would have had a cow. So she did it in secret and enjoyed it.

Also the ending kinda felt rushed.

Ita kills Dodd, but only after we find out she had been sleeping with him as well and he got her pregnant. Karma ends up pregnant, but getting her husband the job he wants using her body is worth more to her than fidelity, and by the end of the story you now have two innocent men, publicly crushed and the "both" of them now supporting the children of the man who intentionally impregnated their wives.

What a ending huh? I wasn't looking for beatings or abusing the wives, but they really needed some form of self respect, and having them help raise the children conceived through adultery while living with public humiliation wasn't it. And Jason stayed at his job knowing how he got it? Again, no self respect to be found there =(

And I'm not sure you intended it, but I felt like Jason was portrayed as less of a man for not trying to get past her brief affair that led to a child by her lover.

So yes I can see why the reader gave it one star. While I thought it was well written, the husbands got screwed over hard, and they both ended up supporting their wives lovers children and Jason ended up marrying someone plain because he didn't trust pretty women any more??

{sigh}

-Risq

Well written piece of shit, sorry I bothered.

What has giving a well crafted story 1 star got to do with judging literary excellence? Nothing. You are punishing an author for offending your delicate sensibilities. On an erotic fantasy site no less! If you are going to be offended by straying wives, don't read the bloody stories. Or at least be fair enough to be equally vindicive about unfaithful husbands.

I wonder if most of the Anon commentors are either too scared to post a name to their comments or prefer to hide behind not doing it because they risk nothing to spout off and no one knows who did it. Like making random comments in a mob setting.

Either way quite a few (but not all) are chickens in my book (^_^) when they use that way to be nasty. Like people who take that chance to make "nasty comments" in a mob setting so no one knows who did it.

That said,

One commentor, who used "their" name but I forget who said it right now, said this:

"Everyday of my life I get to be screwed over in some fashion or another.

Whether its at work, whether its going to the store, whether its going to the gym, someone somewhere is screwing me over and for the most part in society we all live in I have to live with it rather than spend all my time trying to get even.

But when I sit down to read a story or watch a movie I'm looking for an escape from that. I'm looking for a moments break where I can feel good about "something" in life.

Why in the name of god would I want to read a story or watch a movie where I'm watching someone else get screwed over just as much as me and the jerk who does it wins? I can see that every day of my life without having to read about it.

I want something to read where I feel good about someone not letting them get away with it, not where happens yet again to someone else like it does me."

To the Anon below me, either you understand that or you don't.

And like I said I can see why it happened, still not saying I agree, but you can write a Shakespearean play, but if its a story about man who bites the heads off of chickens and tries to rape other men with a broom stick, then yes, the subject matter makes all the difference "regardless" of how well it raises one's flag pole. (^_^)

-Risq

I enjoyed the story.

It took me a moment to understand: "People who know her are puzzled by her apparent affluence."

I liked that.

As far as the Anon not using a name, I find that it's more laziness than anything else.

WHERE DID THE MONEY COME FROM?

Oh, well. Maybe Jason sent her child support even though he knew the kid was not his???

paid the price by being greedy bitches.....they got what they deserved but just where did the extra money come from...that was never explained or did she become a high class whore....should have ended up in the gutter just like the other one ended in prison - served the fuck slut whore right.....

However, the first 2/3 of the first page was too dry and deadly dull so I just gave up and scrolled to the end without reading so I could make this comment. Possibly the story actually started but I could not wade through all the background etc. Thank you for writing, though. This does not mean that I won't look at your other stories.

WHO NEEDED TO BE PUNISHED..NEED TO ADD TO THE STORY AND LET HER GET HER REVENGE ON HIM

Is anyone really THAT stupid?

1 star