All Comments on 'To The One I Love'

the other side and aftermath would be interesting

Poor cuck bastard

This is the kind of story that demands an avenging angel of some sort

Too bad FTDS isn't here anymore

Like she’s going to care about this note? All she’s going to see is this idiot husband of hers is going to kill himself for her and she’s going to collect the insurance money AND be with her true love.

What a fucking pasty! No bloody wonder she’s leaving him for a better man.

I was in a good mood until I read this Sad Sack story!....So I am giving you 4 Stars because He walked away from the cheating Whore....★★★★WOOF

Good story, all in the letter. But you know now that we need to see her reaction when she received the letter. This isn't finished.

We need her version, how she can justify what she's doing, there's no justification but we need to have it finished

There is a follow up to this, hopefully one where she realises what a huge mistake she's made.

and I value that. It was well written and interesting. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that it's going to be dinged pretty hard by readers who want to see some semblance of justice against cheaters.

Let's face it, she's a back-stabbing shrew and certainly deserves it.

Still, 5 stars. Thanks for sharing your work.

Wow he was just a dumb fuck.

Love Poem!

"I made sure you are provided for?" She is a hugely successful cardiac surgeon. Why would she need any financial assistance from him and after what she did why would he even offer? If as a Dr she needs to hep her ex then fine. They took an oath. But right away when he felt she was cheating he was too soft to let it go for so long.

He doesn't have to get violent but he let them both off way too easy.

. . . that he was always her second choice.

This was a well written piece about something that happens all too often, that someone, man or woman, it doesn’t matter, can’t marry the person he really wants and settles for option #2. In a lot of cases it doesn’t matter too much, but in some option #1 shows back up.

He didn’t let Allison go, because he never really had her in the first place. No need for revenge, just go.

One interesting possibility: her real love has a major heart problem, and perhaps it’s not really fixable. If it’s congestive heart failure, he may have a mostly dead dick, he’ll always be physically limited, and he could drop dead at any time. It might be interesting if someone wrote about the jilted husband running into the newly widowed Allison again.

One plot hole: if she was a top cardiac surgeon, why did he need to say he’d make sure she was cared for financially?

Well written end of it all.

There problem is that this is mawkish. In fact, it's so bad that it almost qualifies as satire....almost.

of admitting his love openly, repeatedly, and without defense.

that trait is only admirable in women. in men, society views it as contemptible.

don't get me twisted, culture will LIE to you. Tell you over and over, the complete opposite. Problem is women and men both view such openness in men as weakness.

I have literally experimented on the SAME person, and gotten 180 degree results. I switched from open emotionally to distant and cold. I get pathetic clinging love/ friendship when I'm basically clint eastwood, and I get disrespected when I'm emotionally vulnerable.

he disgusted her, and gave her what she wanted....a big bag of attention. She'll most likely leave that man again....but she'll always have this perfect man that loved her....and that'll make her happy. just the memory. some puppy pining away for her. she'll never lower herself to chase him, cuz he became open in the end. if he had been meaner towards her....oddly she might beg for another chance years down the road. and he could have laughed at her, and told her hell no. that'd be good closure. after-all, he seems to do well with the ladies.

Well done capturing the emotions in a short story. I might normally have suggested a follow up but here it might be anticlimactic.

Thank you

"Do you remember?... I remember." I lost count of how many times some variation of that was used!

Why can't these wives who want to go back to their first loves just say so, instead of putting their husbands through Hell, even denying that there's a problem?

Very intense story and well written, especially your first submission. I am like the others I want a chapter two. Good luck in your future stories.

The asshole will soon die and she won't have either. He needs to walk away from her (alive) and find a better woman. Everyone will know what she did an no one will forgive.

Suicide is always ugly and evil.

Did he expect his wife to feel sorry for him? Did he perfect puppy-dog eyes as he looked at her somehow expecting her to come back to him? He implied he was going to kill himself. Yeah, that'll show her, eh! NOT. Where was the EQUAL relationship he sort. He bent over backwards to tolerate anything she did and never stood up to her. She trampled him into the dust. He deserved all he got.

But poignant. His love was so deep he forgave and removed himself from the equation.

She should mourn for the rest of her life. But I feel she won't.

I agree with anon that this deserves a part 2. She suddenly realises what she has done and tries to sort it. This could be in the same form. This chapter deserves a reply.

It was easy to see the fatal flaw in your main character, but your writing dragged me to the very end.

I agree with Bebop's assessment that most will downgrade the scoring, but this was really well written, in my opinion. 5*****.

Hooked

If I knew part 2 was coming I might be more effusive. This story definitely needs a conclusion.

It doesn't matter how badly they are treated. They just crave that big black cock. You can't fight biology.

But simply an awful read. What a whiner! Boo hoo. Woe is me! Or in modern slang - "just shoot me now"! If he really is going to commit suicide then not only is he a whiner, he's a complete dumbass. Ending one's own life is never a solution. Even suggesting committing suicide in a fictional story is a repulsive idea. There's nothing entertaining about this mess.

1 star

Yes dump her, make her hurt, leave her with her asshole love. But move on.

But where is he running to... guess he shoulda confronted her sooner.. never too late to go bump his iv needle and spit in his eye tho.

Every human interaction, which is what is interesting, is drained by the "letter" format. It is impossible to have drama. Try again.

fuck her she fuck you in the ass.take everything and run.

What is with the last line? “ Provided for” she is a heart doctor in New York she would be paying him.

great way to state how a cheater crushes a person morally and in the end physically.

do i want to know her side ..... fuck no

do i want her to suffer .... fucking right i do

do i want the ex to die of heart failure ... no it s too good for him

hope he and she live a miserable painful and long life .. may they both rot in hell

wish he would at least take some of his self worth and not run away ... let the scum run

burn the fucking bitch and leave the remnants and ashes of the burn so that all may see.

If someone has ever had a hold like this on a woman’s heart before you, walk away

I agree with other commenters that this should be finished and/or a view from Allison's POV, Sometimes real lives end like this but there is always the view from the other side. Thee only thing that spoils a story is INCOMPLETE and you seem to have achieved that! A bit tacky with the 'your hand below the sheet caressing him' This story was more of a 'the roses were on his side table, yellow and red' kind of tale.

Either way it needs a continuation

Some things that don't make sense:

1. She is starting an affair with her ex while he is having heart issues? Did the affair start earlier (he was at the mother's funeral) and the heart problem was a coincidence? Let's leave out the last scene where he sees them kissing, her taking care of him by being his surgeon doesn't seem like it should be an issue.

2. Surgeons typically do not perform surgery on someone they are close to. Plus with their history if he doesn't make it they're going to look at her as a suspect.

3. At least 5 weeks pass between his birthday and when he discovers her in his hospital room. Their problems started well before his birthday when she started being his surgeon. Are you telling me this guy was being treated for more than 2 months in the hospital for heart problems? And she was playing with his dick when he must have had major problems?

Even with the above problems I'm actually looking forward to a part 2 and see what's going on from her perspective. Was she merely taking care of him as a patient, then her husband being an ass about it drove a wedge between them and created an opening for the ex? Hopefully, the above consistencies are explained. And a man needing to be in the hospital for over 2 months with heart problems does he survive and if he does survive is he an invalid?

I kept thinking he would suicide till the lawyer mention.

Great story but it hungers for a consequence follow up.

So in part 2 we get the full revenge!

He has a long time to make up for. Public disgrace, BIG law suits, trouble with employers!

Use the match!

There is no Nobility in acquiescence of I'll treatment.

And there is nothing wrong with objecting to a SPOUSE seeing an asshole ex, either.personally or professionally.

Not to mention, who wants the kind of emotionally and mentally defective Copula-doofus that would have anything to do with a person who abused them??

Thanks for an interesting read about a pathetic pigeon.

time for him to get some revenge on him and her scorch the earth with both of them don't let the bitch win

A very good start but you can't leave us and Michael out in the dark. Please consider a sequel or continuation of the story. Thanks for your hard work.

Woodmanone

I'd like to hear her point of view. Looks like she's killed the marriage all by her self with the ex's help.

Some people just can't get over the ex, even though the ex was probably an ass hole and will do the same things over again.

A good read but needs closure, her point of view and a conclusion as to how it fails again.

With this letter we can understand why she left him: He was a weak man and a wimp...This letter will make her laugh even more, happy for letting go such a wimp...1*

They go back to the abuser because their sense of worth is tied up in the approval of someone who gets their kicks by denying them. He needs to run and find his life elsewhere. She won't change and he deserves better. It's mental illness.

Does she have regrets? Did she just feel sympathy because of his illness? What does she want to do now?

She's a cardiac surgeon, you dumb bastard! Unless the most unlikely scenario of being " provided for" comes about. I doubt it will. One star... and that's generous! If "provided for" means what it should in a continuation story, it could change to five stars.

She is the only one who can save her Ex? Really? There are more than enough Cardiologists . She can not be objective about an Ex lover - huge breach of ethics. Lastly, she became what she hated. He is better off without this "Doctor". Lots of women in NYC.

BBC? - Where? Did I miss something?

Suicide? - While I admit it's certainly hinted at, especially the "where nobody can find me," me line, I wouldn't be so sure that he's going to off himself.

Well written, short and to the point. It was obvious to me anyway, that he went on and lived his life. He said he wanted to “find peace and be whole again”, you can’t do that if you take your own life. *****

I skimmed the story but read all of the comments. Lots of raw emotion on both sides of this one! (Kind of like USA politics right now!)

Here's my REAL story, which touches on some issues raised here:

I was happily married for over 20 years to a lovely and sexy lady who was the same age as me. (Before her, none of my relationships made it to six months.) She was terrific in bed, but our sex life went away as her health declined. She ended her life a few years ago. (Someone once said that "people who commit suicide don't really want to die -- they just want the pain to stop". It's true.)

Call me crazy, but I think my wife is my guardian angel now. That's my best explanation for how I wound up with a gorgeous girlfriend who is 25 years younger than me. We were only together for a year, but the fantastic sex we had went a long way toward healing my broken heart. For my 59th birthday, my hot lover got naked, got on her knees, and gave me the best blowjob of my life.

I think my late wife/angel sent me a girlfriend. I miss them both.

I liked the story, the letter, until I read the ending. No way can I even give more than a star when it ends in suicide of the innocent party. I've had a friend die this way. No what she did, she bought a new Corvette with the life insurance policy and money from the estate. Moved into a very nice neighborhood. Basically laughing at his death. Nope, I cant give this one good score, to close to home. Rfs

There’s a warning in here: if you marry a widow, you will always know that you are number two. If you marry a woman with unresolved issues, you will always be number two.

People never really forget their exes, at least not the important ones. When Allison came to him right before the wedding and cried about her ex breaking her heart, he should have known immediately: she wasn’t over him.

So many of the comments say that he should have gotten revenge, but that fails to understand the story. He was still in love with her and couldn’t hurt her; he was doing the only thing he could, and that’s disappear. (I did not read this as a suicide note.) He wished her happiness with the man she truly loved, realizing that the man she truly loved was not him.

Richard didn’t take Allison away from him, because he never truly had her. Who was she seeing in her mind’s eye when she was making love with her husband?

no other real words, and in fairness, she is so cold hearted she wont even read it.

JJ

Michael,

I loved your Aunt Barbara, she is a very sweet woman. However, you say she thought she found a great "match for you", did she consider if you were a good match for me too?

I did almost file stalking charges against you. You sent me texts, messages and showed up unannounced at work for 3 weeks straight. Did you wonder if maybe a Cardiologist might be a little busier than a real estate agent?

While I was concerned about your seeming neediness problems I did finally relent and agree to go out with you. I was very vulnerable having come out of a deep love relationship that had recently ended. Part of the reason I agreed to go out with you was because you seemed to have an undemanding job and seemed to have all the time in the world available to you. As you know my ex-fiance is a neurosurgeon and the constraints we had in available time for one another I felt contributed to the demise of our relationship. Here you were with an unchallenging career, with all the time in the world available to you, and I thought to myself the little free time I have available from my work you will be available to me. Unfortunately, often when there is a deficit in one relationship we make the mistake of overemphasizing the importance of that deficit, forgetting about the core needs we have. HIM, Derrick, is highly educated and intelligent, determined, accomplished, and able to converse intelligently on a multitude of topics. The one deficit he had, which is the same deficit that I had as well, was having available time outside of our work. With our schedules we were hardly seeing one another, and that put a strain in our relationship which was a big part of the reason that lead to his straying and it's demise.

So here you were with all the free time in the world. I realized you would always be available to me when I had the free time. And during our courting I did everything I could to make myself available to you as well. Did you wonder how a Cardiologist would have the time to spend 67 days and nights with you in the first 3 months? While you had all the time for me, there were deficits in you and our relationship that I chose to consciously ignore, because while my work is very important to me, I still wanted that stable relationship to come home to.

Unfortunately, with time I started realizing that I had traded the one main deficit in my past relationship for the core characteristics that were always important to me in a mate. Michael, you have a lot of great values, and I'm sure you will make a woman very happy. I have realized for a long time that that woman wasn't me. I should have let you know much sooner, but I truly was trying to make things work out. I didn't want another failed relationship. I did want to have that stable home life and a life mate to come home to.

Seeing Derrick at my mother's funeral that day made me realize everything that our relationship is missing. He and I talked briefly. After our breakup he had made a similar compensation by getting involved with a woman that was able to be available to him and play second fiddle. He saw that as a major reason for the failure of our relationship. But during our talk and subsequent talks Derrick and I realized how neither of us had forgotten the other, and we have both agreed to make some concessions in our work to be able to be together.

Michael, I am certain that if Derrick came back into my life or not you and I were doomed. You say we were happy, but you didn't see for the last several years that I felt suffocated. That deficit I felt which was my mate having the available time for me and the available energy to spend on me from having a non-demanding job which was so refreshing in the beginning was now suffocating. It was suffocating because the other aspects were missing.

There should have been many hints for you about my lack of happiness over the last two or three years. I tried to hide it, but you must have seen it. In this letter I'm trying to be brutally honest, because I think it's only fair to you to understand that there is no hope for us. Things would have ended with you and me eventually either way. This isn't just about Derrick and me.

I wish you nothing but the best,

Allison

Let her "new" man "care for her", she could starve for all I care.

>> "Going somewhere no one can reach me, where I can find peace and maybe find a way to be whole again."

With suicide, this is only possible if one is certain of a good after-life . . . not likely in this case. But if no after-life or a hellish one, he couldn't love her for an eternity.

Remember, he's done very well in Real Estate. He will find some remote place in Alaska, Canada, or maybe the Faroe Islands or something similar. He will probably change his name, and get his shit together after a couple of years, as part of moving on.

She will find Richard playing around with a nurse. Richard will gently laugh at her a bit, and remind her she knew what he was like, this isn't their first go-round. He'll claim that this is just the way things are, and since he's mostly recovered, they can be good together, now that she can accept he's irresistible to most women (and many men). She'll storm out of the room with his words, "You'll be back. You can't keep away from me.", and his now annoying gentle laugh following her.

Then she reads the letter, and the many beautiful memories with Michael that she'd blocked come flooding back. She goes looking and calling around for him to no avail. His attorney will show her a beautiful house, its location, views, and details taking into consideration all things that she'd loved; a house that Michael bought and left for her and Richard, part of his final promise that she would be provided for . . . his final act of love for her. (Now she could spend all of her great salary on her and Richard.)

Only one miscalculation on everybody's part . . . she feels totally indifferent to Richard now, seeing him as an arrogant worthless waste of space. As a result of her indifference, he becomes more attracted to her. Unfortunately for him, his brief window has passed. She understands imprinting, and now feels the fool for allowing herself to have fallen into this psychological trap.

She can't bring herself to believe that Michael would commit suicide, and decides to try and find him - the caring angel who loves her as much as she now hates herself. Of course 'Michael' doesn't really exist anymore, that persona having been replaced by a harder, more confident personality determined never to be hurt so badly again. She quits her job, rents out the house to provide a steady income, and begins her search . . .

(At least, that's how I'd like to think it played out.)

There is a continuing story line. I am finishing it soon.

Some commented about Allison being a cardiac surgeon and she does not need providing for. Do you have any idea how much a commercial real estate agent in NYC makes? I am looking at a few different ways of ending the story. Keep tuned in.

better to have a virgin or a woman with multiple past lovers. A woman with that one big significant first lover who broke her heart...that one you don't want.

I HAVE to know her reaction, her thoughts leading to and during the affair, particularly the incalculably cruel way in which she treated him, and her thoughts after. Really hoping for part 2.

Unfortunately, 2 medical issues, a job change and the holidays have interrupted my writing. Part 2 is coming very soon.

Is he leaving town, or taking his own life? It's hard to tell. I hope it's not the latter. That's the thing - cheaters spread a lot of hurt.

I have submitted the second part to Lit four times.

It keeps getting rejected. I have reached out to editors with no help. I will resubmit again soon.

P.S. he did NOT commit suicide.

I can't wait for 2nd installment to thumb up

Gypsysam's pitiful excuses and promises about a conclusion are obviously fraudulent. Should never have put out this first piece. Shameful!

Yes, very good description emotions of a betrayed really loving man. I can fully follow.

@Gypsysam if you need an editor I am here for you. My email address is cndcfrazier@gmail.com. This story is too good end here.9g1

Understand the taking care of your ex wife. When she just became that. Your “ex-wife”. Why are you keeping a promise that you made together when she already broke that promise she made. You promised to take care of your wife, not his slut.

She probably figured out she was married to a little girl.

Never take a woman seriously who has this kind of baggage. If she let herself get abused, she is NOT the woman you want to stake your life on or let raise your children. Killing her ex would break her. Two birds for one stone.

This story needed it.

A really good story, and I hope.you are seriously considering a second part. Please don't let it end here.

This story was autobiographical. The last paragraph has enough clues to know that the author has ended his life. His wife will not need to worry about a divorce, because she will be provided for in his will, .

Sadly, "the monster" will likely destroy her again (if he hasn't already) and only then will she know her loss.

He waited too long to get away from her. Where was his set of balls when he knew she stopped loving him? Why didn't he confront her?

Hello all. Due to a long hospital stay, I finally had a chance to re edit and resubmit. If it is not approved this time, I will post my email address and will send it directly to whoever requests it. I am still looking for an editor for a longer story. If you are available and not a flake, let me know.

What Reed said.

Johnadp,

Autobiographical?

To all

Make sure you know what her baggage is before you marry her because you will end up carrying it. If the bupid stitch is still broken up over a man who treated her like shit, she is not a good bet for you and you damn sure don’t want her raising your kids.

He waited too long and why would he imply he is being so generous in the divorce. It reads that financially he is doing something for her yet as a cardiac surgeon she is all set on her own. Worst case or best case its a 50 50 split.

great story! looking forward to chapter 2. And I hope you are fully recovered from whatever sent you to the hospital!

Wow - powerful story! I agree with some others, sounds almost real.

Seeing part two at last, I had to reread this to catch up with the story. I certainly hope something bad is in store for the cheating wife and lover.

Hated it! I came here via BTB and the bitch hasn't burned yet - the pussy just walked away! 2 Stars because apparently 1-star is deleted!

Part 2 would help. A+

That's when you drag him out of the hospital bed and beat his ass until he goes room temperature. At least in prison, you will have some serious cred and you won't be skulking in the shadows, devoid of your manhood. Hell, a jury might even turn you loose since it was a crime of passion....

.

Prison conversation on the Rec. Yard: "Yeah, dat dude ov' dere, dat's da m**********r done grabbed the c********r his bitch was cheatin' wit' right outta his damn hospital bed! Beat his ass to death wit' a m***********g bed pan! Sheeeeyit! Jury said he was crazy, an' only give him 5-10! Ya gotta love dat shit!"

wow, such vitriol for the husband in the comments. Is it wrong to just leave a heartbreaking situation, I think not.

Well this was crap. Why in G-d's name would anyone feel it necessary to "provide" for a cheating NYC cardiac surgeon. Pfffft.

Wtf about that last line?... she is a heart surgeon and he has to provide for the cheater. Just stupid......incredible.

Wimp