by alan9
What a very good story! It was filled
with suspense every minute and is a
must to read over and over again.
Keep up the good work and give us
more stories like this one with
(TREVOR)!!! Its about time for another
check-up with his doctors! :)
Great Job!!!
but then you had him penetrate her CERVIX. To be blunt, WTF? Please accept a quick and basic lesson on female human anatomy. The opening to the (nondilated) cervix is generally about the size of a pinhole, and surrounded by a sturdy ring of muscle tissue (which is why a pregnant woman's labor often progresses so slowly: dilation, or opening, of that orifice takes time and the correct biochemical balance). No penis (especially not one which is significantly larger than the largest human penis on record) is going to penetrate *into* a woman's uterus: if anything that large were to do so, and especially to do so forcibly, it would cause extreme pain, massive internal damage, and (possibly fatal) hemorrhagic bleeding.
Sexual fantasy is good. Sexual fantasy is desired. Sexual fantasy is necessary. But to convince readers to willingly suspend their disbelief and thus enjoy that fantasy, you need to have that fantasy somehow based in some reality. If your characters are actual humans on this current world (as yours seemed to be), they will need to act within the physical realities of that world. In other words, 't ain't physically possible, and, for a buncha us folks what knowed better, it done messed up what coulda been a fairly effective, if somewhat formulaic, "stroke story."
As fantasy goes, the cervix idea is a bad one. I would edit that section if I had access. Thank you for the constructive criticism.
Thank you for using proper English so that I could fully enjoy the hot story.
The story was fairly engaging and a good read overall, but it was much too unrealistic. The size of hims penis and the volume of his semen were ridiculous. The penetration of the cervix was not only unrealistic, but weird and very unappealing. Next time, I suggest making the fantasy a bit less fantastical.
That was the lamest POS I've ever tried to read. Did you have a book of 'Erotic Clichés' handy when penning this wonder? You seem to have touched on just about every one I've ever seen: Genital Oversize, Clueless Males, Female Aggression, Complete Lack of Professional Ethics, Writing With No Clue About Female Anatomy... etc.>>>>> I know, why don’t you do a follow up tale about how fucked up this kids life will be after this incident. You know, like when he tries to get his first real girlfriend and finds out that, hey, not all females are into Femdom. Surprise kid!
..., just as a given, I'll assume that your tale's Doctor is planning on continuing her medical practice. That being the case, she'd better start praying that the 'boy toy' dosen't come out of his hormone induced stupor in the next seven days and start wondering about what really happened to him. Why is that you ask? That's because it takes at least seven days to completely slough off the exterior dermitis layer of skin from the normal human body, along with all those pesky traces of female hormones and DNA traits. If I were her, I'd be sweating bullets about right now. Good luck Doc, hope you have your student loans paid off.
That story was mindblowingly hot! I fapped like crazy cus you hit the right spots when it comes to a true bondage story. Infact, this story ruined many others for me, and has become the new bar. I can't seem to find another story like it. Keep up your good work!
Again, incredibly hot!
Some good elements, but it really would be a better story if everyone didn't have an amazingly perfect body, huge tits, massive cock, etc. The image is that both doctor and nurse have almost identical (and perfectly flawless) bodies, maybe one could be rounder and curvier, the other a little more athletic and petite. Oh and please, a prostate the size of a grapefruit? Le freakin' OUCH dude!!! Even if it did cause him to have a 5 minute, 1.5 liter orgasm. YIKES! The sensual domination aspect was very nice, I liked that.
Oh, and to the other reviewers, lighten up about the professional ethics issues!! It's a fucking fantasy!! Of course in reality she would lose her license, as would the nurse, and likely face a variety of criminal charges. But it's a fucking fantasy! Geez, get over it!
I only read about the first 3-4 parts, then skimmed the rest. I was in it for Trevor's bondage. I did like what I saw though, such as the pumping machine. Would have liked a touch more anal because he was indeed so exposed, and a lot less exclamation marks. We get it, he's in shock, but !!!!!!! at the end of every sentence made it get corny.
The story is good and it should have a part 2 where tevor will fuck doctor taylor's pussy.
Thank you for that script - or prose! MMMM - now for a sequel or two. The three should have more enjoyment - please!
Let me know asap!!
Doctor needs the patient to "Probe" her with his cock..Nurse needs to assist the procedure and clean them with her tongue.
I liked the story and the writing. I love the setting and particularly the authoritative scenario, I would look forward to more of this. My kind regards, Jane Marwood.
This was a great story. I really enjoyed it. I loved the fact this did not solely become a cfnm story but lead up to mutual nudism. Im also pleased at how comforting at how the doctor and nurse were to their male patient during those exams/sex acts.
Please write more.
Spelling and punctuation excellent. Story complete drivel from go to whoa
Great story telling. On page 3 I lost it in my shorts with out touching myself. Never shot a load while just reading a story. My Doctor is a over weight, late 50's woman but what the hell when she does my exam I'm sometimes semi erect. To bad she wouldn't do something like that to me. ;)
too! Many! Exclamation marks! They are just not neccessary. Your writing should convey the excitement without them.
It's a good story, but you use WAY too many exclimation marks and long screams of AHHHHH!!! We get it, they're screaming, you could have just as easily mentioned something along the lines of she moaned and cried with pleasure, though obviously that's fairly redundent. Also, almost no men have a 13 penis and very few women would enjoy that unless they've had a lot of experience with big men.
Overall a good story, just needs some polishing.
Who cares about exclamation marks,come on really ,seriously,I came so hard I almost knocked the cat off the bed."..he,he,,,,,,,he
Like the doctor would risk her career and medical license like that. Totally unbelievable story, not worth the time to read.
I'll see about creating a sequel to these stories. I know reality would never mirror these events. It's just a fantasy...
It's just so wildly unrealistic, it's a parody of every crap tale on Lit. And as for the overuse of exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not bad, though the story seemed to be set up because of the boy's prostate, but there was no more mention of it, and no anal play to speak of. Otherwise, exclamation mark overload aside ;) a really enjoyable read.
My wife snuck up behind me as I was reading this incredible tale. Scrolling the story with one hand and stroking my hard cock with the other. She said she had NEVER seen me this long and hard before and wants another story so that next time I can cum in her pussy instead of all over her hands and face. oldvintner@msn.com
No, magic drugs won't do what was posited, male precum may ooze slowly, but it doesn't flow, ejaculate is measured in ounces at best, quarts are ridiculous, and daVinci was wrong, the head of the cock NEVER goes into the cervix and then into the uterus.
Fun fantasy, but this absurd stuff really detracts.
I have often thought how wonderful it would be to be examined by a doctor who turned out to be gay and said or touched in a way that might seem innocent but, to
another gay, would be a question - "Are you one too"? I would reply in such a way
as to say yes, and then the fun would begin. You know people, when one reads a fantasy story, it quite ruins it if he insists upon reality. Accept this story as it is, would you?
Fun fantasies. I got excited just writing them, exclamation marks and all. :)
Quickly I grabbed for another exclamation mark! Then I hyperventilated again! My 14.25 inch cock was only at 59 degrees! So I lose!
Loved the comment by "Anonymous" that this story needed more detail. Nice try, Alan9 :-)
Since the reason Trevor was in for an exam was an enlarged prostate, I expected more ass play. Make him cum from a prostate massage when his dick is soft, now that would freak the kid out! Pretty good story tho, even with the gobs of exclamation points and unrealistic measurements/ cum volume. :)
One of the most erotic stories I have ever read. A real sexual fantasy that every man would love to be part of. Got me hard straight away kept me on the edge right to the end. Best orgasm I have had for a long time.
I understand it was a prostate exam, but finally much much tickling going on in the story of this young boy. I loved the doctor and nurse also. I hope to read other similar stories.
Had to break away from reading the whole story as I was getting too aroused, and didn't want to lose what was building up in my balls.
The average American penis is something under 6 inches. Further, to believe that a man has not had an orgasm by the age of 18...
because I don't share the fetish, but I agree with several other commentators that the description of the tickling seemed at times an interminable description of the human anatomy.
Yes, too many exclamation points, too much tickling (can't believe I said that), and the sex went on too long.
On the other hand, the nurse and doctor sounded fabulous, and I can imagine all sorts of sequels meeting his buddies, his girlfriend, his concerned dad.
I "favorited" it for a reason - it was a good story. I have reread it several times, and it remains a good story, flaws notwithstanding.
This is edging at its finest. the tickling is an intriguing variation and the teasing excruciating.
The 13" cock is clearly fantasy as are the breasts and bodies but why fantasize about minuscule cocks? they are all around us. the build up was terrific and I really like the extraction device. they should have added a banana put it all in a blender and drank it together. or used if for an enema!
So well written - just puts all those images into the reader's brain and then turns it on! OMG! The best graphic story ever! How about another?!
This is wonderful. I want to register with Doctor Taylor. But she will probably need to keep me permanently restrained.
I hope there will be a sequel.
Really great story. Wish you would do a sequel. Maybe his sister comes back early and joins the fun? Possibilities are endless.
I know this is fiction, but try to keep some realism.
An 18 year old boy who has never cum, has a 13 or 14 inch cock; then when he cums for the first time shoots a quart and a half?
Then, he fucks the nurse and ejaculates for five minutes! Really?
Then Trevor grew wings and flew away!! Sorry, this is just trash.
A final note, I know I can't write so I don't even try!
Unbelievable!!! I can only wish and dream of such an experience. I had to have a miniature version half way through.
Dear Alan 9
I cannot believe all the drivel your detractors are drumming up! A doctor or nurse would never risk their license? Please. Read the paper folks!
I think it was the best erotic tickling story ever.
Such a good story! I’m a girl and I came 4 times during the story!
I've decided to come back and attempt to describe the afternoon and evening of the threesome's Saturday (with Sunday - day and night - and all of Monday to go). I'm thinking of injecting another young, nubile, virgin teen. Something to do while "sheltering in place". I'll...get it up...as soon as possible.
....... and it's great fiction at that. It maybe OTT but it's excellent writing, grammar and punctuation. Great erotic fiction.
Like hello:
Its a story thats its job is to take you to places you can't normally go, this people and some of there comments are silly they have to take thins so seriously oh they would lose there license, any way I enjoy this type of stories, iv been a fan for like thirty years take or give a couple well this one took me to a place I cringed and was like OMGOSH ING THREW the story, now and you can start all kinds of chapters like you find out the nurse and doctor is or is not what they say so Trevor becomes loyal like an journeyman or something and start fresh with a new prey a girl and boy and trevor decides to join this sick couple any way iguss I'm staying i really enjoyed you writing keep it up f those others have a good one and thanks
Little slow start but didn’t take long to get engrossed after that. I just hope it doesn’t take 3 more years for the next installment great job.
...how good an author is by their use of the exclamation mark. It's an inverse relationship.
Meh, it was good, but ciuld have been better if writer was more realistic. A quart of cum!
HA! 13 to 14 inch cock! HA!
If he had made it a 8.5 inch cock that was girthy and him cumming lile Peter North, it would have been more realistic and therefore enjoyable
Somehow this ended up being cute, hot, and hilariously ridiculous all at the same time. Good stuff
Too long, a lot of wasted information.
Why the f^*# did those women remove their clothes? It completely diminished the embarrassment factor for this young man.
Tone it down, it was too unbelievable.
I know I know...
To answer all the Anonymous negative comments: These were my fantasies; they were not documentary pieces. I haven't written for several years and don't know if I will again. It was an interesting phase. I do appreciate comments from those who gained some pleasure from these stories.
Sorry man. I tried to enjoy it but it was to long, to slow and to unbelievable.
Man I loved it. I'm sorry you have had so many negative comments. I don't understand why people feel like pointing out that it's not beleivable. It's erotica! It's not supposed to be 110% accurate to real life. I'm happy with this story and had a lot of fun with it. I would love to see you write again.
Oh to be young and dumb and have an oversized dick and an unlimited supply of ejaculate! A great start to what promises to be a well thought out and written story. I look forward to reading the next chapter. As this is my first foray into your writing and the first story you posted here I have added you to my favorites list. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.