All Comments on 'Trivial Pursuits Ch. 22'

The earlier chapters built with so much care an extremely intense story but this last installment was paced so differently that it felt comparatively rushed with a need to tie up all the strings in a hurry. Almost as though you had lost interest and just wanted to rid yourself of a visitor that had over stayed their welcome. The pace was not in itself rushed until you compare it to the earlier chapters. Those chapters just had so much attention to detail that it felt like every word had been considered and reconsidered with a resultant much slower pace.

In comparison this chapter had so much happen in 6 pages that it hardly feels like it is part of the same story.

The first 5 pages were perfect, it's exactly the way she would have reacted.

However. when it came time to deal with what her dad had done to here and the unspoken words in the hospital in the previous chapter, you shifted into overdrive for some reason. The resolution with her dad and the wife should have been much longer. What was his reaction to the molestation? Shelly would not have accepted that that easily, being shut down like that after years of emotional abuse towards Alessa.

It feels very much like you just wanted this to be over, your story, your call.

However after the care taken to flesh out the people so well previously, this is really a sad ending. with a tacked on an epilogue about them getting married seeming cheap and forced. You short changed yourself, the story and your readers.

I twas thinking the whole time that the ending wasn't complete. You made a big deal of her having a conversation with her dad at the hospital, but they never talk it out. I wish that they had gone to lunch just the two of them before she hangs out with the family. And at the lunch where Candace gives her the picture, Shelly doesn't do anything good or bad? That part was way too fast.

Also, the part where she says they need to be equals. She needs to tell Denny how much he hurt her by showing that he gets sex whenever he wants, but she doesn't have the right to initiate sex. Yes, he was busy, and you brought it up, but you never resolved it. He said he was sorry, but he has no idea what he did and it will keep happening if she doesn't learn to stand up for herself. I loved that she still went to Korea for two weeks and the scrabble proposal was awesome. The epilogue needed to be a whole chapter with maybe the epilogue being their wedding and her dad chewing Shelly out before her wedding or something. And her wedding being a truly happy family occasion.

What about his insults, he called her frightened, uptight, screwed up woman, that is what he thought of her. What ? Now he loves her ? You rushed things and now you finished the story just like it started, now she realy is a frightened, uptight, screwed up woman now with a possesive boyfriend that is teaching her...what? What is she ? A dog? For a moment I was like...yes! She is leaving him! Yes she is going to get a nice guy, her career , some one that is not traying to mold her like clay. But no..

Wow! Tough crowd of readers here. Was this chapter dense and compressed compared to other chapters, yes, does that mean it was bad, no. I for one just stopped in to say well done. I enjoyed following this story and I've been checking daily for this final chapter, and I wasn't disappointed. This is the first story on here that I've followed start to end while it was being written. I can't wait to see what you come up with next!

This whole story was great. Despite what others have said, I thought the last chapter was wonderful too. Keep writing. I look forward to other stories.

Fazed not phased....you're a great writer and I'm surprised how many people miss this one

the story could have had a few more chapters

I can't help but smile at a happy ending. While I'm sad to disembark from Denny and Alissa's story, I'm giddy at the prospect of new tales.

I would like to convey gratitude for allowing us passing into this world of your creation, that we may watch it reshape with you. I look forward to future works; to see you improve in your storytelling and become one again enraptured with foreign tales.

Be critical, love the characters and your Iliad will come, AH

Every single chapter was worth the wait. I feel like a giant fanatic for this story (except I swear my username isn't related lmao) but gladly because it was just so absorbing and emotional.

I looked at the other comments and thought about whether or not this chapter was rushed and at first I agreed but...where would you have fleshed out parts without it sounding wordy or forcing the story to drag along? Some things needed those small solutions because while the build-up was major, the solution didn't have to be major or else it would've been too much. I think you weighed those out properly and gave enough information to keep everything conclusive and engaging.

Thank you for working hard on this story and sharing it with us. I look forward to more in the future because you're a fantastic writer :)

And hey...will Denny ever tell Alessa that he met her years ago after that trivia night? Or did he and I just missed it...

I liked the whole series of stories about Denny and Alessa but think they have more escapades before them. You introduced some potential storylines during the 22 episodes but didn't follow through. What happened to Max, and Denny's plan to involve her in their sex lives. Alessa has shown she is can be submissive and open to anal play, again more future story lines? I am sure with your fertile imagination and ability to tell a story you could add more.

Please continue their stories, maybe under a new title.

Titania123, I loved Trivial Pursuits. I will miss checking your site weekly for new chapters. Loved Denny and Alessa's story and love.

Seriously enjoyed this story, thank you for writing.

limited by its one-sidedness. I wanted to see them learn and grow together, not just see Alessa blossom. Though I liked Denny and wanted him happily with Alessa, the emotional manipulation, the way he told her how to think and feel (not to mention act) and the blatant disregard for her consent left a bad taste in my mouth. It changed the story from romance to obsession and made me question Denny's motives. His thought process wasn't really explored, which was a shame. I know that Alessa stood up for herself in the end and told Denny she wanted to be an equal but I wanted to see that process; it would have helped me believe in their happily ever after once more.

All this to say, I liked this story, as I enjoyed the last one. However, I could have loved this story. While I understand that you have a vision for your book and I understand you being true to your style, I think it is a shame that you seem to ignore the feelings of the readers. You are lucky, in that you have thousands of beta readers reading and voting and dozens leaving you feedback. Most of the comments I read have been constructive and have been telling you what would make the book better. I am not suggesting that you change your book because of a comment, however, when most of the comments are saying the same thing and suggesting the same improvements, it seems a little... puerile to refuse to even consider those changes.

I don't know if you are writing for your own enjoyment or if you plan to publish. If you do intend to publish your work, considering the advice of your audience could significantly increase your sales.

Anyway, I hope you take this constructively, as it is intended. I'll keep reading your work, as I like it and I'll keep my fingers crossed that your next story is something I can absolutely love.

I was the first comment on the chapter and even though I was critical, I forgot to give you a score, and though I felt there was validity to my criticism, I still felt it was a 5 star story since it still ranks as one of the best stories on the site. If the scoring system had more finesse, I could have called it 90 or 95 out of 100, but with only the ability to score it as 1-5 stars , I have to call it 5 since it certainly is closer to 5 stars than it is to 4 stars.

I LOVED IT!

I have been following the story from the beginning and have largely enjoyed it! I enjoyed the development of the story in this chapter but I feel it was a bit rushed. There were a few grammatical mistakes and the epilogue could have been fleshed out quiet a bit more. Maybe since you started with Denny telling the story in the first chapter maybe he should end it?

Also in the sex scene Denny kept telling her that he will stop as soon as she wants, it felt like you were overcompensating for the boat chapter and the responses the readers gave. I think you should balance out those two scenes.

One other chapter that I did not care for was the one in the hotel room after the auction. I don't like the way Denny was forcing Alessa to answer his questions. I feel it would have been better if her opening came from her. Otherwise the chapter made me feel uncomfortable.

Thanks again for sharing the story with us!

Titania, i mostly enjoyed each chapter and would love to read another Romance story by you. True, a few times i wanted to "brain you", especially times when Alessa would doubt her own heart (and Dennys). I realize now that these gave the story depth. I especially want to thank you for the happy ending.

what can I say? I love it!!!! I just love it! Thank you very much!

Awesome. I didn't want it to end. I loved the Norcal setting as I am very familiar. I am looking forward to you next submission. ;-)

Thank you for this great read. Got misty, happy, sad, very turned on, and at times angry as the story developed. Excellent work.

Simply the best written, most engaging, and fulfilling story I have yet read on this site. Such sweet sorrow that it is finished.

Aside from accolades on your writing skills (exhibited in both your completed pieces), one additional comment to the previous. Please finish Simple Persuasion. With the depth you gave both characters, they deserve it.

I still feel that ending was rushed (the death of her mom and her landlord all happen within a couple of months? The sudden move and un-move to Korea?) You could have her move to Korea temporarily as originally planned, have Denny tries to win her back and Alessa stewed over the relationship to find out what is it that she wants in a relationship with Denny. This would have dragged out the story some more but your readers wants to read more and I think this would make the HEA at the end much more satisfying! Hopefully you will incorporated these changes before you publish this wonderful story on Amazon. I will certainly buy it!

I read you comment about getting bored with the tale and I think that told in the wrap up.

Would have been good to see a more assertive Alyssa with her stepmom/gran. Give them a real broadshot.

Also like to see epilogue used for sometime in distant future. 10 - 20 years or retired with kids. Show there love did survive time and Alyssa is relaxed happy and fulfilled

Why no return to a pub to kill at trivia. That would have been good side story too, after all what is tale called. Not an anlology for Alyssa's journey. Nothing trivial about her metamorphosis

Stumbled across this story and just couldn't STOP reading! The characters are so real. Epic love story, you hate to see them end....Great job Titania123!

Wow! Glad they both ended up doing the right thing, but the character development was wonderful. And yes, you could expand and fill in, and make this novel length, and publishing on Amazon (or in print) would be totally worth doing. Count me in.

Great, great story! Excellent writing! I truly enjoyed the journey!

This is not romantic at all. He manipulates her at every turn, it's disgusting. How people can find his behaviour admirable is beyond me. Stick to noncon.

I've read multiple stories that involve the leading characters families being total cunts. what I don't understand is why none of the writers elaborate and make a scene about the main character dealing with their families. It was done in this story to a certain extent but I still feel her father should have done more.

What a painful way to end this series, then make up to us readers.

Good job!

I've enjoyed many stories on this site, followed the loves and lives of dozens if not hundreds of characters, but I can name only a handful of characters that stay with me. Alessa has been one of those. Frankly, I've never identified with the heroine of a story quite like I have here. Even with all of the ups and downs others have mentioned, this was a superb rehab-romance: Alessa learned that love is worth the risk, and Denny proved himself willing to risk it all to help her.

Admittedly, Denny was the weaker of the two, his character and motivation seeming to change in service to the story. For him, Alessa was first a challenge, then a mission, then an obsession, and finally a genuine connection. Mirroring that evolution was his change from cad to boy scout. Ultimately, Denny became who he needed to be, in order to allow a more nuanced exploration of Alessa along the way.

I, too, wish there was more story, but I'm sincerely grateful for the wonderful character piece we have here.

I should have voted and commented on the other chapters. A great story,enjoyable on many levels. Well written. Keep up the excellent writing

This is by far the best story I have ever read here. I found the characters compelling with depth rarely if ever found in any of the stories I have read on this site. It pulled me in and made me not want to stop reading. It made me care about the characters and evoked emotion within me.

Thank you for such a wonderful, thoughtful and provoking story!

And thank you for finishing it. The only other story that I have enjoyed even close as much as this one, the author seems to have given up on.

I hope you pay attention to all the love you're getting here because this work of art is everything. Thank you so much for sticking with this - I love every decision you made and your very thoughtful reasons. 5 stars on all chapters! 💘

Wonderful, loved it all, totally captivating, thank you

Wonderful character development of Alyssa, with a plausible change motivator in Denny. For me the helter-skelter ending was OK, but it does leave some wonderfully tantalising threads hanging. Will Denton really manage to adapt to a role of equal partners, or even the junior partner if she goes on with her stellar path? Will they have children? I see him adapting poorly to that although keener to have a family; I suspect he would expect a traditional, i.e. unequal partnership when children came along and required care. I really can't imagine how she would adapt - so quite fascinating..... You see how completely you have me hooked! Thank you for this super series..

Titiana had me worried there for a bit! Was afraid it would be the worst end to a romance ever as she turned down so many chances to change course and not run away. But with only two pages left all was reversed and romance restored. Thank God!

Beautiful story. Thank you!