Trivial Pursuits Ch. 22

"Yes?" she finally urged him, biting her thumbnail, her eyes still casting about to make sure she wasn't overheard.

"Alessa, you're a great lawyer, and I'm sure you'll impress the hell out of me when you get here, but Denny's my friend. Since college. I don't want this to cause a fall out with him."

Alessa could feel her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. She cleared her throat. "It won't. Denny's a good lawyer, and if he knows our relationship isn't working out, he'll be professional enough to let me work. In fact," she stated with a sour look on her face, "he might be happy to be rid of me. It'll be better this way," she ended softly, for a moment faltering in her conviction.

Hyun-Joong eventually sighed and agreed he would back her choice. They agreed Denny should be notified, and Hyun-Joong agreed to call him and let him know about the need to replace Mr. Simpson. She said her good-byes and expressed her gratitude and turned her attention to the next phase: gaining more backing.

Alessa IMed Macrae, asking to speak with her whenever she had a free moment. As luck would have it, Macrae said she could see her at three. And not a second after, Alessa was at her door, bringing her very unusual request to her.

Macrae was silent a very long time, her classic stoic expression studying Alessa in excruciating intensity. "What has brought this about?" she finally asked.

Alessa attempted to hide any emotional root for her decision but she squirmed ever-so-slightly in her seat and turned her chin in that uneasy manner she didn't realize she had.

"Because of my friendship with Mr. Park, and the fact that he trusts me, he shared his concerns. The conversation eventually led way to who would replace Mr. Simpson. As I have always dreamed of working in Seoul, which is why I studied the Korean language and culture in school, and one of the major draws for accepting a position here, I mentioned that I would be a candidate. Mr. Park was in agreement that he would look forward to working with me. So while I insisted he inform Mr. Ashbury of the developments with Mr. Simpson—as it is his account—I thought I would speak with you, as director of HR, to ask for your support once the search for a replacement begins."

"Of course, I will need to discuss Simpson's alleged actions directly with Mr. Park, but if what you've said about him is correct, then yes, he needs replacing. However, he hasn't been under internal investigation and no accusations are currently being looked into. Not to mention this is Denny's client. It isn't protocol for me to replace anyone on his team—"

"I'm not asking you to do that. Just that when the time comes for the senior partners and HR to decide upon a suitable replacement, that you back me. And as Director of Human Resources, your vote will have perhaps the single greatest amount of weight.

"And let's face it, if Denny opposes my placement, it will be for personal reasons only, not professional. After all, I am certain that if we hadn't been involved I would have been the prime candidate. He has already touted me on multiple occasions to not only the senior partners but to numerous influential clients as well. I am the best applicant for this job."

Alessa was satisfied with her argument, but for a brief moment she didn't think it had worked. Macrae sat back in her plush, cream leather office chair. Her hands were folded across her slim middle as she unnervingly rocked back and forth.

"Fine," she said in a seemingly burst of energy. "I'll agree to this, but with one major modification to your plan."

Alessa's eyebrow raised in guarded curiosity.

"If the rest of the team agree, I think it best to send you for only two weeks. Normally, this sort of secondment goes by a year to year contract, but I think the first order of business isn't to replace Simpson. Instead, the prime directive will be to ascertain any damage our firm or Kyohan has suffered because of his actions, to devise a strategy to repair it and then to more accurately assess just who is the best fit there. I know you think you are the only one who could excel there, but that's not entirely true. At the moment there are several others with more seniority than you who could do just as fine a job. After this latest kerfuffle, I don't want to rush into any permanent decisions until we know absolutely they are the right one.

"And if you are ultimately chosen to extend your time at the Seoul office, how quickly could you be ready to move there? A month? Two?"

It was working. Judith Macrae had given her the keys to open the door to another life. She just had to be ready to shut the door on the one she was currently living. "Theoretically, I could stay there, with no need to return."

Macrae's response was subdued and studious. "That's extremely fast. And extremes in this business are often the by-products of a rushed decision. Not always the right one. Bags already packed?"

"Not exactly. I moved in with Denny. Most of my stuff is in storage. I'm sure I can box what I don't immediately need and have a shipping service take care of it. I think I can get away with a few of my favorite outfits and buy some new things there," she replied, having clearly already thought that far. "And as far as my case work goes, I've already analyzed those cases and tasks that I can continue from Seoul, and the ones I cannot can be handed back to the others who took them over while I was away."

Macrae nodded at the amazing gall of the young woman before. "And you haven't told Denny?"

Alessa silently pondered her options before replying. "No. I think it's best if we wait. He doesn't see it yet. Wouldn't understand."

Macrae's lips pursed in thought. "We'll compile our suggestions so everyone who'll be part of the process can have a chance to give each candidate ample thought. He'll need to know—"

Just then, her phone rang and she only looked briefly at the caller I.D. before holding out a finger and picking it up. "Hello Denny."

Alessa's eyes grew wide before she caught the reflex and forced herself to relax. While Macrae carried on the conversation with the junior partner, Alessa was only able to discern half of what they were saying, none of it making any sense. When Macrae hung up, she leaned forward on her elbows, folding her hands. She was looking off to the side in astonishment, a wry smile slowly dawning on her perfect, world-famous lips.

"Well," she began slowly, "it seems Mr. Park has called Denny to let him know the situation in Seoul. But Denny says he's too swamped with the Clarko account to deal with the replacement directly. He's putting Mitch Hanson on it since Mitch is the second on the account. Denny stated he wants a decision by the end of the week and the board's approval. Well, it looks like you may just sneak this one past him before he knows what hit him." Though she said it with a certain amount of pride and amazement in her voice, there was also just under it all, a barely discernible tone of disapproval.

"Sure you don't want to tell him?"

It was too unnerving, her quickly formed plan falling so easily into place. Alessa shook her head, tears so close on the other side of her eyes. "It's best if we wait, I think, so we don't have to deal with the fallout while we try doing everything else. If Denny doesn't want to be informed who the candidates are until one is chosen, then no personal relationship should alter the course of business."

Macrae sighed after a time. "You realize you're asking me to secretly replace personnel on his team while simultaneously facilitating his girlfriend dumping him. Denny's my friend, don't forget. You're treating him kinda shitty."

Alessa considered her words. "Yeah, I guess I am. But he'll get over it," she responded almost bitterly. "But I'm not so sure I would."

Navigating her way through the chaotic log flow that was her personal and professional colliding lives, Alessa worked silently without Denny's knowledge of her plans to leave. Thankfully, though he claimed to be making headway with the client being sued, he still worked extremely long hours. And though he hinted he was interested in sex, he didn't push, allowing her to avoid it without much ado.

And though no guarantees were made that she would be selected for the two week assignment to Seoul, Alessa proceeded as if it were etched in stone. After all, what other choice did she have? As she went about the tasks the would ready her to leave at the end of the week, she began preparing those nearest to her, except Denny, that she wasn't likely to return any time soon. She first broke the news to her family, mildly detailing the steps in her assignment, stating that although officially it would only be for two weeks, she was likely to be chosen to make the permanent move. Her father had invited her out for an impromptu mid week dinner. Despite the excitement Cadence had at first shown, the young girl began to realize how far Alessa was moving and the implications that had for how often she would get to see her sister. After dinner while the two sisters washed the dishes, Alessa tried to get her to talk about her soured mood.

With tears in her eyes, Cadence accused her of leaving her and begged her to stay. She asked how she could leave Denny, to which Alessa simply replied they were breaking up. That news received an equal amount of crying, her young, romantic heart not yet able to cope so easily with the loss of an ideal.

Alessa didn't respond to Cadence's hysterics on breaking up with Denny, not wanting to lie but not wanting to tell the truth. Instead, with her skilled tongue, she was able to coax her younger sister into seeing her change of location was more exciting than sad. Alessa promised she'd come home as often as allowable and hinted that maybe Cadence could come and see her. That dried Cadence's eyes somewhat, and when Cadence hugged her, Alessa felt a sharp pain in her chest, knowing she probably wouldn't see her sister for several years; Shelly would never allow Cadence to travel so far just to see her.

"Oh, wait!" Cadence said when Alessa got up to leave. It had been a remarkably pleasant evening, but it was time to say goodnight and goodbye, and she was trying to leave before she cried. "Don't go. I want to give you something," and then on her long, skinny legs, she bounded upstairs. She was back in a minute, an envelope in her hand.

"What is it?"

"Don't open it yet. Open it at the airport."

Alessa shrugged. "Okay. Thanks, Octo. Love you. I'll call as soon as I settle. We'll Skype," she promised, taking her head in her hands to kiss her forehead. Pulling away from the curb for a moment made her reconsider, but she knew she couldn't stay, no matter how many other relationships she had to sacrifice in her escape.

The other difficult goodbye was when she told Lou over lunch on Wednesday. It followed her morning meeting with Mitch Hanson, in which, though he didn't say it in so many words, he seemed to imply she was the best suited for the position and could look forward to the placement. With that confidence, she met her friend and finally detailed her hopes of not only leaving on a two week business trip, but a permanent station there.

"But you can't tell anyone," she informed her. "It's sort of a secret. At least until Friday when I leave."

"Why? Because of the Simpson fall out?"

"Partly," Alessa tried say, reluctant to detail that she was leaving in order to effectively break up with Denny.

But Lou wasn't to be fooled. "And what's the other part?"

Alessa squirmed until she realized the behavior must indicate something about what she still felt for Denny. "I'm breaking it off with Denny." Her blunt statement caught Lou off-guard.

She blinked, shaking her head. "Come again? Why on earth would you do that? For this job?"

Alessa could sense Lou's disapproval, that romantic sensibility overriding reality. "It isn't that easy. It's complicated, but the long and short of it is yes, for my career I'm willing to make a few sacrifices. A short-lived relationship is easily one of them," Alessa replied with condescension in her voice.

"What is wrong with you?" Lou asked in disbelief. "What makes you think it's short-lived?"

"They all are, aren't they?" she answered with a question of her own, her eyebrow lifting to add insult to her insinuating words.

Lou sat back as if she'd actually been punched. "You are a barmy bitch, you know that?" she responded with a disdainful shake of her head. Alessa recoiled at the harsh insult, but Lou didn't relent. "This decision isn't about your career. It's about you being scared. You two are in love. Not some light infatuation or attraction. Something real with a chance at a happy life together, but what do you do? Run away to live alone and empty all the while stupidly thinking you're protecting yourself."

Alessa's jaw set hard with the old, familiar accusation that she was once again running away. "That isn't true. I'm doing this for my career. I am looking to the future."

"That's rubbish. You're running from the present in fear of a made up future and all in the pretense of taking control of your life. Moving to Korea isn't for your career. Stop trying to passing that lie off as the truth. Or do you actually believe it?" Lou continued to question with that pervasive derision in her voice. "Don't do it, Alessa. Don't leave."

"Well, with friends like you, it's hard to imagine I'd ever want to leave," Alessa responded sourly as she stood from the table. She quickly tossed a twenty on the table to cover her portion. "I'd say, 'see you at the office,' but now I wonder what'd be the point. Goodbye." And she walked off, grabbing her coat from the rack as she passed by on her way out the door.

Alessa sat at her desk staring blankly at her computer screen. She fumed at Lou's nerve. Well, she consoled herself, their fight made leaving all that much easier. Bearing through Thursday was nearly impossible for Alessa as she had to deal with the rising tension between herself and Denny, and finish the last of her work duties while trying to avoid Lou. She seemed to be digging a deeper and lonelier hole for herself.

Late Thursday, Macrae called her into the office, updating Alessa on the progress of the few involved in selecting a delegate to leave for Seoul. Apparently, Alessa thus far had Mr. Hanson's vote, and with her own backing, the few deciding senior partners were likely to okay at least the two week trip the following morning.

"Are you ready to go if needed? You'll need to be there Monday morning."

"How about I fly out tomorrow afternoon and get started immediately."

Macrae stared coolly at her a moment. "I would be careful to temper that enthusiasm," she warned. "It's beginning to come across as desperate. But I see no problems with that, provided the travel department can book the flight and find accommodations on such short notice."

"At the risk of sounding desperate, I would appreciate it. Tomorrow, if I am chosen, Denny will know at that point that I'm leaving. I can't stay with him anymore. I just want to go."

"The senior partners will decide tomorrow just before lunch. I imagine Denny will be informed soon thereafter who Hanson suggested and who the partners agreed to."

Alessa looked down at her lap, scheming silently. "I think I will need to take tomorrow off. I can come in at noon to receive any documents I will need so I can prepare myself over the weekend."

"You can still back out of this. He never has to know you considered leaving him."

"I haven't just considered it. I've decided," Alessa spoke determinedly, hoping she could fool herself and her slipping resolve. Macrae's eyebrow lifted as she tilted her head in concession.

"Very well, come and see me then by one tomorrow. If anything changes, I'll text you."

Alessa could only shake her head, before thanking the senior partner for her support and left. Alessa returned home that evening, placing her out of season clothing in a suitcase. She made arrangement for the mailing company to arrive at nine in the morning to take the boxes of stuff she would have to pack the moment Denny left the apartment in the morning.

Alessa had been so focused on her escape plan that she had been able to push away any rising frissons of panic at the thought of leaving him. But her resolve was finally tested their last evening together. Since their fight, Alessa had done her best to remain unaffected by his presence or absence, frequently occupying herself with brushing up on her Korean and reviewing the details of Kyohan's business in order to prepare for her work in Seoul. But Denny seemed to be growing restless, and that night as they lay in bed, her mind filled with the thousand tasks she would have to pull off seamlessly the following day, she was startled at the touch of his fingers at her back.

And it felt so good to be touched.

So quickly-just like that-she was stirred. And not just sexually, but for the physical comfort that he had conditioned her to enjoy. Need. Seek. Alessa almost burst into tears at the ache of denying herself the solace of his arms.

"I know you're awake," he said softly, entreating her to talk to him.

"Mmm," she managed to hum in confirmation. "So tired, but my mind's full of stuff to do," she admitted.

"Tell me about it," he asked, putting a firm hand on her arm and gently turning her to him. She didn't resist much and followed his guidance to turn over on her other side so she faced him. He didn't move, but the small amount of space between them radiated with his heat, enveloping her, drawing her senses in. She closed her eyes against the alluring sensation of his warm hand cupping her cheek.

"Sweetheart," he seemed to plead.

Her eyes fluttered open, her heart breaking until she couldn't breathe. "Tell me what's going on, please." But she could only bite her bottom lip as her throat clogged with a painful lump. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart," he said, pulling her closer so he could kiss her forehead. "We never talked about it, but I know I hurt you. I'm sorry," he whispered again. And there, wrapped in his arms, her hands on his bare chest and his hands threaded through her hair to cradle her head against him, she felt the dam of control that had held back her anguished tears break. Alessa sobbed against him, wanting desperately to change her mind, to stay in his arms as long as life would allow.

Somehow, once drained of the pain, she fell asleep cuddled against him. When she woke in the early morning, he was just rousing from sleep himself. She opened her eyes into his, her mind quickly reconnecting with her plan and for a split second she saw she could still turn back; she could stay.

She blinked and put her hand to her head. "I don't feel so well," she stated.

Denny frowned and reached out a hand, laying the back of it tenderly against her forehead. "You don't necessarily feel warm," he murmured thoughtfully.

"I don't think that's a very scientific way to monitor someone's temperature," she muttered, attempting to sound miserable.

He gave a half-grin. "Maybe not. Think you can make it?"

"I don't know. I think I better sit this one out. If I feel better tomorrow I can go in to the office and get some stuff done," she suggested.

Denny looked at her a minute before shrugging. "Okay," and then he was throwing his blankets off and getting out of bed.

Alessa lay quietly as he went about his morning routine to get ready for the day. Before he left, he came back to her and kissed the curve of bone above her eye. "Feel better, Sweetheart." And then he was gone. With the shutting of the front door, Alessa flipped a switch, turning off her traitorous heart, which had just the night before begged her to stay. That allowed her to move quickly through the day, filling the boxes for shipping and having them picked up, showering, packing her bags, all of it effectively returning Denny's life to reset as if she had never entered it. With a final look about the place, she tried to see it through a clinical lens, to ensure nothing was left behind or out of place, and not allowing heartbreaking sentimentality to cloud her vision.