All Comments on 'True Meaning Of Sacrifice Ch. 02'

S-des,

I hate to say this, but I expect you'll be getting more negative feedback after this chapter. The problem is that you are working so hard to put together a blackmail situation that is evil, and in doing so you have completely de-humanized Michelle. And since the story is more about Michelle than Mike the readers are ending up with no one to really root for. Paul and Ryan are inhuman lowlife scum, but are also ciphers so you can't really root against them.

Michelle is such a complete idiot and wimp that I personally am hoping she ends up some crack whore and that Mike has the good sense to leave her to rot. I know that if I was married to anyone as stupid and disloyal as her I'd never talk to her once I found out, let alone reconcile.

And Mike, what little we know about him is that he waited 5 months before finally getting into Michelle's panties and that he left early at an office party, which is how Michelle got trapped into this stupidity. (now why didn't she leave with her husband? That's just another reason to hate her, rather than root for her.)

I'll say that the writing is good and easy to read. The dialogue believable for the most part, and I didn't notice any huge errors in grammar or storyline.

However, you just aren't writing somthing that is very compelling because you have given the reader no hero to root for. Right now the best ending would be Mike finding a new wife and Michelle getting left crying on the curb as Tony, Ryan and Paul fight over a gun with 2 bullets in an attempt to silence the other 2 before the cops arrive to send them all to Sing-Sing for 10-20.

I'm hoping the story gets better, and I'm interested to see if you are going to bring anything new to the blackmailed idiot wife sub-genre, but honestly, this type of story tends to fall flat because there just isn't a reason to expect/want anything but an anti-climatic ending.

one thing you just wrote and wrote about nothing.this bill up for the hubby to do something,but wimp out.these people fuck his life up,if he had any gust ,that worth fighting for.hubby talking away was just as bad as the assholes in the room.

For WHOM?

A more appropriate title would be: "Dirty Sex Outside Marriage; the More, the Better."

Anyway, the title aside, the long reviewer said it all; I would simply add this:

Take a glance at the stories made to the top MONTHLY spot (not the daily or weekly but the ones made it to the monthly spot). Whatever genre they are, they usually have a few things:

they are either just haliriously funny (like most of "Sarahhhh"'s goofy incest);

they are very emotionally driven, like the other reviewer said, with one or two characters the readers root for (even if they know the story will not end well, like the CURRENT story in the top March spot);

they have dialogues supplied by the author that didn't leave most readers saying, "that's not only dumb; it's also mindless stupid"; and this last one can be a number of things: total evil, total comedy, total tragic, what-not.

But you can not have, shouldn't have, a mixed bad of things.

The wife can be as dumb as your character here; and the husband, too, can be as Forrest Gump as the husband here; but somehow, somewhere, you got to have him (and her, too, if you truly wanted to focus on the "Meaning of Sacrifice" angle, which you seemed to want to, since the story is mostly about HER) convey to the readers the true, dark, deep turmoil inside. They can't, they shouldn't, just take off their clothes and walk into a room and be sodomized and that's it!

In this story, nothing has been "sacrificed" because to "sacrifice" something means to HOPE to gain something bigger, better, and more rewarding ,,, either for her alone or for her FAMILY; being willing made to walk down a road of whoring is no sacrfice,,,

I’ll wait for the last chapter as the first started out with his wife waiting for the police.

I don’t see this wife being sympathetic, as most have said really dumb. She knows she has done nothing wrong with the books so her moral fiber is really in question from the word go. If she had real love and trust in her husband he would be the first one she would have turned to. There is no one, who is supposed to be smart and a manager, who wouldn’t have gone to the district attorney and if a woman of faith her minister and told their side of this setup. The very least would be the attempt to save her marriage and what’s left of her humanity. You have portrayed her in a way of no redemption imaginable.

Oh well, this is a fantasy and not real life so I’ll stick with it and see how it all comes out.

I think your writing is great and I hope you can pull the ending out in a believable way for this fantasy.

With Respect

Very good. love the plot.

Better job of stretching credibility to maybe explain why Michelle could be stunned for 5 seconds, but not enough to explain her allowing serial rape with no effort to stop it.

Ok I finished the 2nd part...on to the 3rd...damn I can't leave a long comment...I have to start reading! :)

stupidiest I have ever seen. Of course she is only the writers mind ego whatever...She3 just can't tell the truth to Mike because she will be worried that he will get hurt...does the dumb ass brawd think that perhaps he will be more cautious and watch oout for Ryan..On no not this dumb shit...marriedwithballs@yahoo,com

stupidiest I have ever seen. Of course she is only the writers mind ego whatever...She3 just can't tell the truth to Mike because she will be worried that he will get hurt...does the dumb ass brawd think that perhaps he will be more cautious and watch oout for Ryan..On no not this dumb shit...marriedwithballs@yahoo,com

Now the real fun begins. Five stars.

So terrible, again, no eroticism - the brief recollection of her time with Mike did nothing versus my disgust at the rest of the situation.

Still, a well told story, fitting the genre better than most.

.... interesting choice of words for a rape victim to say S-Des coming from a "loving" wife that "supposedly" does not want to betray her husband. This is a woman that is being blackmailed to submit sexually to men who are NOT her husband ... right??? Is that what you are trying to convey in your story??? Or would it be more accurate to say, she is a cheating, size queen WHORE who is enjoying the feel of a large cock in her CUNT and no longer cares who her husband is???

Blackmail implies that one is forced to do something against their will. I wonder how many violated women who have experienced the "horrific, brutal" act of rape(s) have screamed "You're so big, please fuck me"!!!

Michelle's is no heroine and she is not a faithful wife .... she is a cheating WHORE who is more concerned about getting her slimy holes filled than a faithful wife who is trying to save her marriage! As the old adage says, "You CAN'T rape the willing" and based on Michelle own words the readers can't be blamed for assuming that "The lady doth protest too much!"

Kind of "blows a hole" in your CUCK agenda S-Des!

last sentence about oh your so big please fuck me. im guessing it was lipservice.

@Anonymous Re: "You're so big" - They've bullied her into ACTING like she wants it.

Going back to how it started, I don't get why she's beating herself up for going to his office to talk about a transfer, granted it could have waited till the next business day, better yet, it made no sense for her to not leave with her husband.

Finally, I don't remember how intelligent she's supposed to be, but as soon as she kneed him, she should have kicked him harder in the balls, gone home and told her husband what happened, not even hang around for the blackmail threat.

The next day she and Mike walk into HR and make a complaint. THEN Ryan's embezzlement charges will be seen as retaliation. In any case THEY have to prove she did it, she doesn't have to prove that she didn't!

It can't be blackmail if she's this stupid. Another 1* chapter.

If he doesn't leave her for being the company whore, he should leave her because he can't possibly entrust a congenital idiot to be the mother of his children.

Still dumb as a brick. She's caught now. Mike will do his thing.

I would have loved to kick the door down and either kicked ass or got my ass kicked! That way. It would have been publicly known.

Sure, you'd kick down the door and kick ass. You don't even have the balls to write a non-anonymous comment. Putz.

What did she think would happen?

Cheating slut...

She’s just digging her hole deeper. Mike will either dig her out or bury her. Good story.

My bet is the cuckold will decide she is a victim he loves her and trusting him with it all would be stupid. They marry and have several kids.

she hasn't sacrificed anything just given into blackmail in a sordid manner.

So odd. She literally makes no correct decisions even once. Somehow it starts with the ridiculous embezzlement scheme (she is in R&D and doesn't handle the money), then the threat about killing her husband (that is why police exist, or getting out of town), then the pictures (umm you are being blackmailed, and now you worry about your husband finding out when you didn't talk to him at the start?), and then somehow the biggest fear for her is the painal with Tony (wtf really?). Just dumb and dumber. And btw Stacy knows but doesn't tell Mike (nice!!) and it goes on for 2 more months during which Mike never gets laid once and never tried to talk with her about his concerns or fears (great communication). Everyone is apparently dumb or evil or both. Woot!