All Comments on 'Trying Trial Separation Pt. 02'

I read the first few paragraphs and the last few and decided this story was not for me. So it's best I don't score it.

Sad, because I thought Part 1 was interesting and set up a fascinating possibility for Part 2.

Lue

On there first night, when Levon wanted the bedroom light to stay on, I guessed that he was filming there "encounter". I was waiting for things to explode in some way but... it seems to be drifting to a divorce for Jenny, a new child and an ongoing relationship with Devon. What job does he do anyway? He never said. keep up the good writing. Cheers.

I think it was well written but seriously lacked realism. I know it all for fun and made up but lost me after the characters just seemed unreal. the wife strikes me as just desperate.

I am happy with it turning out this way. Very hot. Story. 5

Teaching Todd a lesson was a good concept but I don't think you really needed the BBC and Queen Of Spade stereotype. Just her experiencing other men and dates and falling in love with someone was enough and could even be made a romance.

Going all black guys have big dicks and are better lovers was over the top. I even groaned pastime when you had curt be a small dick white guy knowing you warned part 2 would be interracial.

You switching this story from LW to IR came as no surprise; however, you are really good at IR so I'm sure most of us saw you Cumming!!!

Now, why the three....because you took a decent white woman & tatoo'd her like a BBC slut when - in reality, Levon is a really good guy & they fell in love. Not all IR relations are outwardly & advertised BBC sluts!!!

These two became lovers and then romantically and there are MANY IR couples in this country & they don't all advertise being cheap sluts....just happily marriewd everyday people.

So, thanks for the read, just really disappointed in your determination to make her out as a cheap tatoo'd thrill!

Starting the story with the husband leaving is a set up to excuse the wife's fucking anything that moved and turning in to a slut. Also making the husband who is white in to a racist, speaks volumes about the writer's mindset and possibly politics. You don't have to go that low to do a "woman embraces her inner slut" story. Seriously! A tattoo of the ace of spades? What next? Mentions of watermelon? Using race, ruined the story.

PS. Some women do go dick crazy after a divorce. And many before. Over a third of children DNA tested in a divorce are not the husband's. Process that. And the race of everyone involved has nothing to do with it.

Looked up the author's other works. Everything is race this and race that. My orriginal assessment stands. Racist.

I would have taken it a little different direction but it's you're story.

Like others I don't like the QOS tattoo. It's an ownership thing and I was hoping she'd stay away from that.

Boy, her mother is going to be passed!

Todd got what he deserved. Jenny can be proud of her black baby bump. Levon and Jenny can be happy together

I am always perplexed by readers who object to racial references in fictional stories in the Interracial Love category. A virtuous, color-blind, white woman might be your ideal, but she bores readers who are interested in the lingering taboo of a white woman being taken by a virile black man. But keep reading and commenting!

Every story featuring people crossing racial lines isn't racism. Racism is hating or deeming less worthy of dignity people of another race. This is not that! If anything, this story shows love overcoming ignorance and fear. Lavon treats her like a woman he values.

And stop the hypocrisy! She sleeps with 3 men total after her serial cheater husband abandons her, and she falls in love with & presumably married the 3rd one. Leave that double standard behind; it's the 21st century

Good job, PenPal2001! Keep it up!

Todd initiated the separation because he was fucking other women and he wanted freedom to do so but he didn’t expect Jenny to find her inner slut not realizing that HE could have brought her inner slut out just by being a more honorable man

Pretty accurate about how trial separation works. I like racial stories and my question is why are you reading in this category if you don’t. I want the blackmen to have big cocks, whites took the best and made them better. Now live with it, give them their due. I love hearing white women getting broken in and not being able to forget being under a strong dominant Blackman that loves doing that to them. And lots of white women do to. 1954Hall

I have to say that this is one of the BEST STORIES I'VE READED!!!! I have READED a lot of INTERRACIAL SEX STORIES and your story is at the VERY TOP!! DON'T CHANGE A THING!!!!!!!! KEEP THIS UP AN YOU'LL DEFINITLY BE MY NUMBER 1. A BLACK GOD!!

... when years later she will notice that her big dicked black lover will seduce her innocent white daughters... only a clichee..

Really great story with a realistic plot line.

Loved it

As it should be.

Don’t listen to the haters. This Is a 5 star story. I really enjoyed how you added the smoking twist to the story as well as not going over the top with the interracial. Perfect the way it is.

Your are getting negative criticism because you started a standard IR trope-filled story in Loving Wives before taking the turn into IR, where they will love this stuff. I am sure soon your story will be forgotten in LW and your scores will improve.

I thought the story was a good start in LW, but the standard LW trope for trial separations is the originally reluctant wife opens up sexually and after embracing her new found sexuality, she dumps the husband. The husband learns a terrible lesson as he loses his wife for his selfish intentions. There are some great stories in this vein. That said, you then either have to write the hell out of that story in order to not come across as clichéd, or you have to do something new with it.

I guess your attempt at something new was to take it to IR. First of all, pick a category for your story and then stick to it. If you felt your story was more LW than IR, them put it there and keep it there. I only accidentally discovered this second part. But what you did was disappoint two groups, as the first part is of no interest to IR folks but seems necessary to read to get where this second part comes in. The second part is so IR that LW readers will get little out of it. So when you pick a category and stick with it, make sure to moderate the other elements. This will make sure everyone can enjoy it. LW readers would be fine with this story if you made the IR aspects more background and those that enjoy that will get that and those that don't can ignore it.

Instead you crank on both aspects in different categories and so few are particularly happy with the series as opposed to them individually.

Personally, it was too standard and too much ignoring what was happening with the husband to be a good LW story about trial separation. Can't say how the IR went, but I think it's score will improve as people forget the LW story. I could be wrong though as I do a lot of random browsing so it might continue to draw LW crowd who are very particular about story quality. Anyway, good luck. Hope you take some of this advice, it will help your stories be more entertaining and score higher. 2* for both parts.

so she throws away a marriage for dick? not very realistic. Her life will be ruined and her kids will later in life resent her. lol I've seen it happen and its hilarious to see the family turn on the one who didn't fight for the family.

We have known people who threw away their family lives for a dick, and that is reality. In this case, Jenny also fell in love with someone else, and that happens too. Thanks for your comment!

You posted this as "revenge"? It's a cuck story at best and shouldn't be in that category.

It is undeniably controversial but in my southern state there is absolutely no guarantee a family court would award custody to a white mother living in an adulterous affair with a black man. The court would give credence and weight to an argument that the two daughters would be confused in the new household since they have no familiarity with black culture and would almost certainly be subjected to ridicule and discrimination by those who do not approve of interracial relationships. An outraged and well represented white father would have better than 50-50 odds of being granted primary custody and having limitations placed on the mother's ability to have her lover meet with the children, especially if any of the children are below the age of 12 or so.

There was a similar case in my town of approximately 100k residents last year. Shared custody of a grade school boy and girl was changed to the white father having primary custody when some 2 years after their divorce the white mother announced her engagement to a black man some 15 years older than her and her ex-husband. The family court found the change in custody to be in the best interests of the young children.

even now in 2020s their is still a stigma surrounding the minglings. TK U MLJ L NV

@Anonymous Mixed Relation: Thanks for the comment but what does TK U MLJ L NV mean?

Good story. I see by some comments some think she's the bad person. Personally it's her husband that's the bad guy. As far as her finding another lover he could have been black or white, doesn't matter. She also made her choice by deciding to have his baby. Good story by the way.

glad i didnt waste much time on this ch..well written. well paced,,but dont care for the subject matter,,just another cuck tale...todd was wrong to leave in the first place,,once you do that, you can never go back..and they never worked on the marriage anyway..he could have covered his ass by taking a shotgun with him the night he caught them in bed,,,a crime of passion by killing one or both,,no jury would convict him,..i do not like BBC stories,,no one writes Big Black Cunt tales..no rating for this,

Pretty difficult to see that this was an interracial story. Hmmm, maybe the "interracial love" tag could have been a clue. Plus the fact you explained at the beginning of both stories in the series. Next time you will just have to make it more clear I guess, some people are not too quick to catch on. Excellent story, keep up the good work. Blows me away the number of people who apparently are disgusted by interracial stories but continue to read them all the time right to the finish so they can make some clueless comment. Gave you 5 stars to help offset some of the lower scores. Thanks again for your stories. You are an excellent writer.

this story really helped race relations

It's hilarious how Todd was the initial cheater and the one who insisted on the trial separation, but some people are still fantasizing about murdering Jenny and her new guy. Todd's dumb ass deserves whatever comes its way.

I love that the people who hate tis story are the same people who love reading loving wives stories about how a women cheated and left a man he divorces her and gets a hotter wife. this is this same thing only in reverse what they really hate and even a lot of their comments are saying its nature when a man cheats and its ok when a man moves on but its betrayal when a women cheats and its not ok when a women moves on and finds someone else and to highlight there views the fact that they focuses on the fact she is moving on with a black guy and not that he is a cheating husband and a dead beat parent should tell you their views

A different kind of separation story and just like the ones where the wife has to find themselves I like the ending. Would have been a bit better if you took it to a end that they got married, however losers that ask for open marriages and "trial separations" get what the deserve.

Creative plot and well written. I preferred part 1 especially Jenny doing things to wind up Todd like smoking. Part 2 was good but the BBC trope was a bit over the top for me. I would have preferred more subtlety in torturing Todd (he deserved it). Thanks for sharing your creativity. 5 stars for both parts plus part 1 added to my favourites.

Hard for me to interupt reading ...

Disliked the QOS trope but loved the way she dropped the hammer on her husband. What a twat he was!

Evah_Rheddy

I liked part 1 better than 2. I also abhor the use of the racial slur, whether it's Jenny saying it while being fucked, or Todd saying it in anger. Cheapens the story. What Jenny did during separation was understandable, but getting pregnant while still technically married is just bad. She could've had him served, at least.

--- Having said that, Todd's insane by wanting the separation. THAT put everything in motion. He thought, which she later agreed, that the marriage's in trouble? Both, especially him, should've tried talking to his wife about things & tried to make things better. Can't do that when you're not together. However, at the dinner, I'm surprised he didn't say something about Jenny's smoking.

--- For the record, I'm happy he lost his wife; he didn't deserve her. For the most part, I root for the spouse asking for a separation for things not to go badly for them. As stated, I liked part 1 better; part 2 seemed to be a bit forced & wasn't needed. The story could've been concluded without that part. For the above, especially the use of the racial slur, 2 stars. Bob

@Anonymous Bob: Thanks for your comments and thoughtful analysis. Regarding the racial slur, I don't use it lightly in the fiction I write and I never use it in my daily life. But there are times when the n word is appropriate. The urban music world and African Americans in casual conversation certainly do not share your aversion to it. Please keep reading and commenting!

Can't give these two stories enough *'s. Most definitely high up on my favourite stories. Thank you. Mel B known as Hornydevil47.

@Hornydevil Mel, thank you so much for your positive comments! As an author it's nice to know that my efforts are appreciated by some. PenPal.

Todd, cuck of the walk.