Two Different Realities

That's when it hit me the odds of Kendra ever finding another man like me again because of the publicity of our breakup was highly unlikely. As long as she remained in the area anyone who knew of the situation would pass on her because of her history before they got serious. Her own conduct had ruined forever the chance to have an honest loving relationship with any man. I wondered how long it for her to have that reality sink in?

-------

It was about lunchtime when I pulled into my hometown. I had taken over three days to get here. I found a ma and pa dinner and had gone in to eat lunch before heading out to the farm. During my last week at work, I had arranged for the electrical to be hooked up. I was waiting for my burger and fries drinking a coffee.

"Son of a bitch is that you Colin Waite." The old-timer said as he walked in and sat his big ass down at my booth. "it's good to see you, son, you're looking good."

"Uncle John where's the wife of yours," I responded with a smile.

"She and our daughters are out at the house getting it ready. I had to go over and solve some minor plumbing problems. The house basically move-in ready. They cleaned up the house got the refrigerator repaired and working. Replaced the fuses on the old stove. You will most likely want to update and modernize." Uncle John said. "We now live in town as Robert and his wife have taken over the farm."

"Good order some food on me and we will get caught up on things," I said.

It was nice to be back with my family.

Before heading out to my childhood home I stopped at the local grocery store and started picking up the basics. It was surprising to see how much cheaper food prices in general were. Here they were not taxed to death and the price of things reflected that. I had filled two carts up by the time I got to the checkout. The cashier and I had gone to school together, so we got caught up a bit as she ran me through.

When I got to my family home, I was surprised how good it really looked from the outside. It had been a long time since I had lived in a completely brick home. My aunt and cousins came out to greet me. Then they helped me bring in the groceries. As soon as we put them away the coffee pot was turned on.

After they left, I took a close look at the house. Uncle John was right. I would have to have some major updating done. I called him to get a couple of names of good construction crews that he would use. He did better than that two hours later he brought them to the house. It gave me time to unpack some of my stuff.

After going through it from head to toe we decided that it would cost less to build a brand new house. The old house would have to be stripped to the bones. All the electrical wiring would have to be replaced because they were so old, the lead pipes once standard because what they were made of had to go.

The barn was still in good shape with a new roof and a few boards replaced and a paint job it would be as good as new. The only major thing I would have to do in it was electrical. The stalls would be taken out so I could use it as my shop when I worked on tractors and heavy equipment repairs.

I called Carin that night and told her what I had learned. We decided we wanted a one-floor house with a small cold cellar for storage built on a four-foot crawl space that would be completely doubled insulated for the cold winters. I had to promise to go to her brother in laws dealership to introduce myself the next day.

I called the contractor and told him what I wanted. He said he had a few samples of plans that he would bring over for me to look at after work.

I drove the truck rental back to the nearest rental shop. They gladly drove me to the nearest car dealership. I bought I nice slightly used ford truck that had almost no mileage. Got it transferred and insured. Before returning the rental, I had hit the bank and made a deposit picked up a few blank checks and ordered some. The dollar and seventy-five cents difference a gallon for gas shocked me. Here it was a lot less.

I then drove over to introduce myself to Carin's older brother. It turned out I'd gone to high school with him. He offered me a job right on the spot. I could start when I was ready. That was when I told him of my plans and the relationship, I had with the corporation going forward. He had to do a little teasing about his sisters and my relationship. He told me he had never really understood his sister's first husband. He wasn't alone with that thought neither did I.

The contractor and I worked out a price for the building of a four-bedroom home with an extra-large two-car garage to be built behind the old house and decided to put in the newest septic system. Gas for heat, water, and cooking. With a large gas generator for electricity when needed. It would have an open floor plan with a laundry/ mud room at the back which would have a door to the big garage. The entry to the cold cellar and the furnace room would be off the side of the garage going down beneath the house. The four-foot crawl space would be double insulated, including the underneath the main floor. Access to it would be from the furnace room It was nice to know that what I should get out of the divorce would more than cover the cost.

I had just finished talking to Carin letting her know that I'd touched base with her brother and that I had signed the contract for the building of the new house. When David called.

"Kendra has hired a private firm to find you Dad," David said. "She still believes you two can work it out."

"There's nothing to work out. There is nothing left that I want. If we got back together, she'd just do the same again in a different way." I said. "It's sad that someone so intelligent is incapable of seeing that simple truth. No wonder this country is so screwed up."

I was surprised because David got very quiet. I had to ask if he was still there.

"Yeah, I am." He said. "It's just that your statement has made me look at things with a different view. Your statement is so simple that it is so profound. We have a lot of so-called brilliant people who can't see a simple truth. That's why we have so many problems in our government they focus on what is in front of them. Being so intelligent they cannot see what created the problem in the first place. The result is that whatever they do it makes it worse and it's always the other guy's fault."

"David your mother in law will never see what she did as the problem," I explained. "I am the problem because of the way I am looking at it. My views are too old fashioned for her to comprehend or understand. I'm nota progressive and not keeping up to date with what's now considered acceptable by those who are with it."

"She has allowed the changing views of what liberalism is in California to change her I didn't. Like many of their kind she just believes I need to be retrained to think the right way. She couldn't handle me having an affair, but I'm just supposed to accept the fact that she has hers and live with it. She not sorry for her conduct she just sorry that she got caught." I said.

"Dam dad! Your right." He replied. "I'm going to have to have a long talk with your daughter Kerri about this because she has got to see it from your side. She's got to learn that marriage means equality in all things. My own father used to say what's good for the goose is good for the gander. The way mother was acting it is now obvious that she viewed you as nothing but a means to an end."

"David may I make the suggestion that you demand that the two of you go for marriage counseling. If she agrees to go that route, try to find one that has a conservative point of view. By exposing her to the other side in a personal way may be the only thing that will counter the progressive view she has grown up with." I said. "She was exposed to it with me but her mother it appears has countered any effect I had on her growing up. Unless she is willing to find that balance you guys don't have a chance. For your own sanity, you will have to walk away."

I started working on the barn tearing out the stalls. It kept me busy. The physical work was demanding but it was good to be working muscles again. I found myself enjoying it.

Thursday night I got a call that surprised the heck out of me. It was from Carin.

"Daughters felt I needed cheering up." She said. "They had called my brother to inform them of our divorcing. They didn't know he already had known for over four months. Meadow explained how I had found out about their fathers cheating and mentioned how they had met you. Joseph told them that he had gone to school with you and explained how you had gotten him the dealership years ago. I owe that man a lot. It came out that you had moved back to take over your family's farm that you owned. They ended talking about us for about an hour. Slowly everything came out. They were surprised that their favorite uncle approved of our relationship as it is."

"Wow please make sure that they don't let that information out. Kendra has hired a firm to try to find me." I said. "She's convinced herself that if she can just talk to me, she can get me to forgive and come back."

"How did you find that out," Carin asked?

"I call my oldest son in law at the office, he's keeping me informed," I said. "Plus, in talking to me he's starting to get a focus on how he is going to approach things going forward."

"No problem with that," Carin said. "My daughters won't tell anyone after what they have done."

Being curious I asked, "What did they do?"

"Used my credit card and booked me a flight. I arrive at the regional airport at eight pm on Friday night. I return on Sunday evening. Carin explained. "Start living the dream mom they said you both deserve it."

I was there waiting for her holding a dozen roses. Red of course. Filled with anticipation and hope. This weekend, after all, would be our first official time together. I had to laugh. The last time I felt this young and foolish I had been a teenager.

I watched a goddess walking towards me. A total brunette whose hairstyle accented her face letting its natural features shine. I had to smile, it was the first time I had seen her dressed casually in blue jeans with a yellow blouse and a soft Demin like jacket. She had a wholesome look to her which was a delight to see. You could tell that she was comfortable in her own skin.

I knew she wouldn't have time to eat so as soon as we got her suitcase, we were off to the local location of Ruby Tuesday's where I had a surprise waiting. After parking the truck and locking her suitcase in behind the front seat we headed in. Her brother and sister in law were waiting for us.

By the time dinner was done Carin had agreed to become her brother's lawyer when needed when she moved home. I didn't know what to expect when I dove down the driveway to the house, I had grown up in. It was just like every home built in the sixties. It was closed in and tightly built for the times. Carin smiled as soon as she stepped inside. It's just like what I grew up in she laughed.

"It's so refreshing to be able to go from the airport drive through town to the restaurant and not run into a homeless person or a beggar asking for spare change," Carin said. "Not one made up tent structure, no human waste on the street and no boxes large enough that people could crawl into to sleep. Is that because California has a democrat and South Dakota has a republican governor?"

"There may be a lot of truth to that," I replied. "History shows that when California was a republican state it had the highest middle-class population of all fifty-two states. Now it has the smallest and is one of the highest-taxed. Looking from the outside in it's giving me a different view of things. In California, we ban plastic straws but don't require the recycling of all glass and plastic. We can't use pesticides to kill rats, yet they carry the diseases that can kill us. It's the homeless this kind of law has put in the greatest danger. California has the twelfth highest population in the country and has fifty percent of the homeless in the united states. Yet they spend millions trying to deal with the situation without doing anything. I'm just one of many that have found a way to escape. The true believers in equality are finding their own way out. They can't accept the extremes of either. The liberals blame everyone else but themselves. A glass of wine or a cold Keystone Ice."

"If you got a beer mug the Ice would be fine," Carin said.

After getting us each a beer, I pulled out a couple of my parents' old 33rmp records and put them on. It was nice listening to Dean Martin, Sammy Davis and old blue eyes himself as we snuggled like teenagers on the couch. Those were the songs our parents listen to as we were growing up. We were taking it slow as we both wanted to be sure we were headed in the right direction.

-------

Kendra Waite was not happy. She was used to getting her own way. She needed to talk to her husband Colin and was getting nowhere in her attempt to find him. There was no recorded flight of him leaving, no recorded car rental, or anything. Even the private investigators were finding nothing.

She had found his facebook page closed. His credit card canceled at his request by the Bank of America. Everything she could think of was leading to a dead end.

Every day this week his lawyer had called asking for the name of her lawyer. She hadn't' got one because she felt their marriage could be saved. He had removed all of his contacts out of the old telephone log they used when they had a house phone. She knew he had relatives but couldn't remember their names.

His side of the family had never been important to her so she never paid much attention when he would mention them. He had been so careful in removing all traces of himself that she couldn't even get his social security number.

Even her daughters were starting to get worried about him. He had always had daily contact with them. Since he left no one had heard from him except for David and David wasn't telling. He had told her oldest Kerri no contact until he proved that Little Colin was his son. Yet he did not seem to be in any hurry to get that done. Kerri had confronted him about it he had laughed at her. That was not how a husband was supposed to act.

Colin wasn't behaving like Colin and it was frustrating her. Colin had always done what he should. It was the one constant that she could rely on and did. It frustrated her because now she had to hire someone to do what he had always done. The problem with that was that the hired help did not do it with as much care and love as Colin did.

This whole situation was causing a strain on everyone. If Colin had just done what he always had done her relationship with her three daughters would not becoming unwound.

The three of them in part were blaming her for the problems in their relationships and that was just not right. Colin was not doing what he should. It's each woman's own responsibility to keep the men in their lives in line. Every man in a relationship with a woman has to learn that it's them that is the boss.

When she found her husband Colin, she would make him pay dearly for his improper conduct towards her and their children.

--------

There is nothing more simple or beautiful than sitting on the porch drinking a cup of coffee watching the dawn of the day come alive. I know because that was what Carin and I were doing.

"Until now I could never see why my parents would start their day like this whenever they could," Carin said. "Being here feeling loved and appreciated by the one you're with leaves in you an assurance that you can face anything that comes in front of you. They could sit and watch without saying a thing out loud because they saw their world the same way."

I took her hand and held just the same way my dad would for my mom. I could tell that without saying a word I was speaking volumes.

"While driving back home I realized that I was coming back to what I always was and leaving behind what I had become. I see the changes already starting in me. I feel more secure and at peace than I can ever remember." I said softly. "I saw that same cloud leaving you last night as you stepped down towards me. It's a feeling that you can't express until you experience it yourself. Your words express quite clearly that it's affecting you as well."

"It's a cultural shock at least for me. Nothing seems phony here it's all real. Here you can hear yourself think. The silence of the morning allows it. I had forgotten how beautiful and calming it is." Carin said. "Moments like this reinforce the quality of life that can only be found when two hearts are ready."

It was an eye-opening weekend for both of us. We began to learn about ourselves. Although we came close, we did not get sexually involved both of us wanted more to the relationship than just sex. I met her parents for the first time. It was a good visit and I got put to work fixing the timing on his tractor, and a few minor things. It took about four hours to get it done but when I was it ran smooth and steered straight. Carin saw me dirtied up from oil grease and dirt for the first time.

She watched me clean up in her parent's mudroom smiling the whole time. Mudrooms my mom would say were created for women, so their husbands didn't tract the mess into the house. Her dad said that the tractor would have been in the shop for a week if I had not been here. Her mom was thrilled about the prospect of having her only daughter coming home.

It was sad to see her off at the airport on Sunday evening.

------

It had been two months since I had left California and things were moving along Kendra had finally gotten a lawyer. A fifty/ fifty split had been approved by the court. Carin's husband was still being an ass. Trying to save every nickel he could. David and Kerri were seeing a marriage counselor as the baby was his. They were seeing him weekly and were making slow progress.

Kerri was looking at the whole situation quite differently as she was forced to see the other side. Little Colin was growing like a bad weed. I was looking forward to seeing the little tyke.

Kendra and my daughter's Faith and Hope were both going through a divorce. Their former husbands had told them they would never be able to trust them again. Sadly, I understood fully why. The relationship between my ex-wife and her daughters had forever been changed.

I was back in Lodi having been flown in by private jet. I would be spending a week or two going through the company's newest test model to see if it would pass the final inspection before going into mass production in two thousand and twenty-two. I would be spending the next two weeks putting it through a list of things to ensure durability, strength, ease of movement and repairability. I had been booked by the firm into one of the town's Hampton Inn suites.

Amber Hopper had decided to take her mother for supper at one of the restaurants in the hotel I was in. They were already seated when I walked in. Amber saw me and smiled as I walked towards her. We had met earlier that day for coffee to make sure it was going according to our plans.

"Mom I hope you don't get mad at me, but I invited a friend to join us, so you might want to slide a little further into the booth," Amber said. "I think you'll be delighted to see them."

Carin said. "What are you up to." As she slid over to allow more room for someone else.

"It's just somebody I 've gotten to know over the last five weeks and both Meadow and I agree that we're looking forward to spending a lot more time with him in the future," Amber said as I sat down.

Carin turned her face towards me breaking out in a huge deep smile once she realized who I was. Over the last two months, I had grown a mustache and a goatee. I appeared to have lost a lot of weight, but I hadn't, the soft body fat had just changed to muscle.