Unexpected Aftermath

"I just left these off, I can't stand the feel of them when they are damp." She said, holding up the thong. Then she grinned at me again.

I found the tiny coffee pot in a drawer, power was on again so I plugged it in and made two cups, one at a time since it was those little packets. I poured the last shot of Bourbon into mine, saving half of it. I held it up, she nodded, so I poured the other half into hers. Then I got out a bag of corn chips and we had breakfast.

"You could have taken me last night, you know." She said after a long silence.

"Yes, but I said I wouldn't take advantage."

"You really are a nice guy, aren't you?"

"Well. I'm not THAT nice!" I grinned at her.

Jean just laughed at that.

It was hours later, things outside were returning to normal. The restaurant opened and we had a decent breakfast, grits and eggs in the middle of the afternoon. A man from the airlines came by and told us that the plane was being serviced and we should be able to take off again in a day or so.

"So when are you heading on to Shrevesport?" She asked me.

"I am going to just take the bus tomorrow."

Jean laughed.

"Good idea, can I go with you? I am going on myself. I have had enough of airplanes for awhile, too."

"Sure, that would be fine."

"When we get there, how about we share a room again?" She smiled slyly at me.

I got that. looking at her, I made a decision.

"How about we share our room here again tonight, too?" I asked her.

"I would like that, Dan. I would like that very much."

I nodded. The sexual chemistry came to a head right there, it had been there the night before also and we both knew it.

"No strings, no problems?"

"I have a husband at home, you have a wife. No strings."

"I have never been with anyone since Mary and I..."

"I haven't either since Sam and I got married, but he has." She looked down briefly, momentarily far away.

"What did you do about it?"

"I forgave him, I love him."

"I don't know what I would do if Mary did anything."

"I know what you would do."

"What's that?"

"You would forgive her, I bet."

"So what are we doing here, Jean?" I asked her.

"Having a good time." She smiled at me.

That night I came to bed, she opened her arms and blended into me, no shyness at all for either of us this time. We both knew the rules, and we did everything it is possible for two people to do together over the course of the evening. Her body was magnificent, and she knew lots of tricks to make an old man like me perform even beyond my own expectations.

The next day dawned bright and clear, we went for a long walk, looking at buildings with roofs torn off, trees down, one late model pickup had a tree right across the bed. Workers were busy moving debris off the roads. It really was quite a mess.

We held hands everywhere we went, several times we saw people taking notice. One lady even asked if we were newlyweds, we both smiled and nodded at the same time.

I felt a pang or remorse as the thought of my Mary flashed into my mind.

Mary, my wife. What in the world was I going to do, how could I even face her now, after this? I did manage to shake that feeling off for awhile, though. We found the bus station, they told us the roads were still blocked and perhaps "tomorrow" which meant at least one more night trapped here. I had called Mary and explained that I was all right, she sounded relieved. I told her I still needed to check on the box cars, then I would be heading home.

My second call to the storage yard down in Gulfport about the shipment was met with a laugh. They told me they would see about arranging delivery if they ever found them.

With nothing else to do, all I had to do was figure out how to get home.

That last night Jean and I were together in our room I was just unable to perform, I begged off as tired, blamed some of it on just getting older. I lay there in the bed, then managed to sleep fitfully. Once again I woke up with Jean pressed against me, I felt myself respond and she and I made quiet love once again.

But it was over right then and there, and we both knew it.

I kissed Jean at the airport just before she got on the plane for Chicago. The news had come through that Casino Magic no longer existed, there was nothing left for her to do, either, but go home.

My flight wasn't until the next day. The affair was over, but the deed was done. It had just been an incident, and accident of circumstance. For me, it told myself it really meant nothing at all, I can't even explain why I cheated on Mary.

For Jean, perhaps it had been just for fun, maybe even revenge since she had mentioned her own husband had had an affair. I never knew the truth and I never asked.

Me in my sixties, Jean in her thirties, it wasn't lust or desire or anything like that. It was just....I was the one available?

I tried scenario after scenario in my mind on how to explain to Mary as I sat strapped snugly in my seat on the airplane, I had a deep feeling of guilt and I just could not shake it. Mary met me at the airport, that helped. We held hands like kids as we walked out to the parking lot. I almost thought it would be all right, that I could just forget.

My secret.

A few days later, I was still feeling guilty. The only way I could see to ever get myself back to normal would be to tell Mary the truth, confess. Would she forgive me, or leave me?

I didn't know, but I couldn't live with the nagging feeling, the fear that she might find out by accident which would be far worse. I had no real idea how that could even happen, but we had exchanged our business cards. Would the phone ring one day?

I just did not know.

Mary and I were finishing dinner, the kids were at their Grandma's. I asked her flat out, a question designed to break the ice, open the discussion. I had the question all planned out, I knew what her answer would be. Then I could say to her that I was sorry, but I had something to tell her, to get off of my chest. Explain my tryst with Jean, my confession, then...healing?

"Mary, have you ever been with anyone at all since we got married?" Somehow that came out just blurted out.

Mary looked at me, first with surprise, then with shock on her face. She stood there staring like a Deer caught in the headlights.

"Oh, my God, how did you know?" She said.

Well, I guess I didn't but now I did.

I started laughing. The words I had so carefully planned out vanished from my mind.

Mary stood there staring at me, not understanding at all. Then she put her face in her hands and began to cry.

I got up and went and took her in my arms, she pressed her face to me, her body racked with sobs.

"Danny, I am so sorry! It was just an accident, I didn't plan it."

"When?" I asked simply.

"Last year, when you were on that 3 week long business trip. I...went out with some of the girls, I was so lonely. I met a man and it was just...it was nothing."

"How long? How many times?" My voice cracked.

"A week, maybe. You called one night just before you flew home and I knew I had to end it so I did."

"You mean you were with someone when I called?"

"Yes." Her body racked with sobs again. I felt a flash of anger tear through me, then I thought of my own guilt.

"Honey, come and sit with me on the couch. We really do need to have a long talk." I told her.

Yes. We really did need to have a long conversation, so we did. I got it all out of Mary, for several nights she and a younger man had had a crazy affair. She tried to explain how it had meant nothing, not realizing until I confessed that I knew exactly what she meant.

Finally when she asked me what we are going to do, I told her we would just forget about it. She hugged me, and we made love in the only way a man who loves his wife can understand.

The truth? It's easy to say just forget about it, the fact is that all of it popped into my mind from time to time. We both had guilt, but we were working through that. If anything, we became closer, our own weaknesses exposed completely to each other.

That is hard to explain.

There is one secret though.

I was in my office almost a year later, and a call came in. The instant I heard Jean's voice the memories of those few days flashed back into my mind. I had almost managed to forget, it became like a dream, or a story that happened to someone else.

"So what's up? It is nice to hear from you." I told her.

"I just wanted to say Hi, and let you know that Sam and I had a baby boy."

"Really? That's nice." I answered, not understanding.

"Sam and I had been trying for a long time."

"Well, that's really great!" I began to get an inkling of a suspicion.

"He is beautiful, we named him....Danny."

We were both quiet for a long time.

"I thought you would want to know." Jean said, finally.

"Sam is very happy, and he...doesn't know."

"I see."

"I wanted to say thank you, Dan."

"You are welcome, Jean. I will never forget you." I told her.

"OK. I won't ever forget you either. You do understand, right? I thought you had a right to know."

"Yes, perfectly. Thank you for telling me." I told her.

"Well, bye." She hung up.

I sat there with the receiver at my ear for quite awhile, listening to the soft buzz of the dial tone. Then I hung up the phone.

Now I understood the why of it. A young and beautiful woman, wanting, cast by circumstance into...opportunity?

Yes, a secret. One I will take to my grave.