All Comments on 'Unexpected Change Ch. 04'

More , please. When you can.

....stealth

As I wrote earlier, this should be read by a much wider audience. Has all the earmarks to becoming a series with many possible scenarios. Very well done. Thank you.

wonderful wonderful story.....

Thanks!

Nothing could be better written really just NICE SWEET!

Jim

Thank you,

And all that "Thank you" means. This may be the best of all the Scorpio44 'lessons.'

One criteque type comment: I both like and dislike your sparse dialogue style. I like it because it avoids the WWWM/DQS1 symdrome of dragging the story out. It's not that I 'dislike' the dialogue style so much, it's that I think I would enjoy more complete dialogue with some of the thought processes revealed.

About Nadine, I also had concerns about her and her possible 'changing back' to her old ways but then I thought about Nick (Ben's dad) also changing and I knew it would be alright. He would not allow Nadine to revert to her old ways.

Thank you,

Phil

the fantasy is over, well written, i really like the part where mother and sister didn't know him, dream along with me.

Very interesting and liked the spiritual aspect of it.

Thank you for another well written, beautifully choreographed story which could easily be expanded into a saga, as one reader suggested. In any case, I thoroughly enjoyed your story, as I do almost all of your writings (I have read them all, all the way back through Scorpio44). I especially enjoyed the insight into the Shoshone culture. Thanks again and keep up the great writing.

frank

and I enjoyed it very much. There were spots where I thought the dialog was a bit stilted but all in all very well done.

Thanks!

What a totally excellent story! It ended far to soon. Any chance of writing a few more chapters. Am certainly curious at to where this could go. A great read! Thank you!

Rich

Wow, not what I expected on Literotica. Such a wonderful and original saga. I am very lucky and grateful for having the opportunity to be able to enjoy and read this story. Thank you Scorpio44a.

What a truely wonderful story had to read the entire 4 chapters in on sitting

Thanks for the entire story. It was great.

Thanks for a great read. One of many you have given us.

Thanks bud it was an exceptional story - I have started commenting at the stories end rather than each chapter - unless I have an issue somewhere lol

My LCD needs replacing it gets blurry at times making it hard to read -

More might be good but I am not sure - this is a natural place to end it I think

fantastic story keep it up

Fantastic story. I started it at 11 pm and finished it at 2:30 AM. I could not stop reading it. Great detail and depth of characters. Believable story line. Please keep these stories coming

I seem to be so conflicted almost every time I read a different story on this site. It seems as though each new story I read is the best one yet. This story ran all over every emotion I have ever known. I would go from totally hyped up with tension and anger when reading the confrontation at the dance to laughing out loud a couple of pages later.

I have read many of the comments at the end of each chapter and agreed with most of them. However, the one "Anonymous" comment where is was trying to impose his version of morality on "us readers" really cracked me up. I am sure even he wasn't smart enough to see the irony between his comments and the actual story itself.

Thank you Scorpio44 for another well written story. Now I am sure this one is my favorite but then again I see another story I want to read next. :)

p.s. I have a very extreme opinion about bullies whether they are real or in print. I must say that I was impressed with the way you handled them.

I seem to be so conflicted almost every time I read a different story on this site. It seems as though each new story I read is the best one yet. This story ran all over every emotion I have ever known. I would go from totally hyped up with tension and anger when reading the confrontation at the dance to laughing out loud a couple of pages later.

I have read many of the comments at the end of each chapter and agreed with most of them. However, the one "Anonymous" comment where is was trying to impose his version of morality on "us readers" really cracked me up. I am sure even he wasn't smart enough to see the irony between his comments and the actual story itself.

Thank you Scorpio44 for another well written story. Now I am sure this one is my favorite but then again I see another story I want to read next. :)

p.s. I have a very extreme opinion about bullies whether they are real or in print. I must say that I was impressed with the way you handled them.

These polly, pseudo meta-physical stories usually aren't something I'm interested in but I have to say this one was extremely well written and even more enjoyable. Thanks for the contribution.

I stayed up late to finish but it was well worth it. Thank you.

Read all four chapters, staying up later than I intended. May be your finest work. I wish there were a way to get this delightful tale more exposure. Captivating, very fun and enjoyable read.

Thank you.

GREAT WRITING!!!!

They don't detract from the story if you aren't familiar with Idaho. But, Oneida County is South abutting the State line with Utah. Pocatello and the University are North in Bannock County. The Reservation is further North in Bingham County.

So, the return trip after picking up passengers at the SLC airport would mean driving North on I 15. But if your first stop is to be in Pocatello visiting Aunt Buzz, you will travel north and pass all the way through Oneida County, (Malad City), proceeding on another 60 +- miles Bannock County before arriving in Pocatello. Then after the visit you would retrace your steps back down to Oneida County. Further complicating the movements is that the Reservation is 30 more miles North of Pocatello making it a pretty long ride for the tribal elders on horseback to for the ceremonies and Blessings. Likewise for Ben to ride to attend sweats and quests.

Now if they actually lived in Bingham County it would make much better sense.

but still what I enjoyed... Good story...

Loved the story! fuck anyone else..larry kansas

I've read most of your stories,a few more to go, but as far as I'm concerned this is by far your best. 10 stars WoodButcher57

I waited till the last chapter to vote. I Think the story rates a Ten. Great Job.

Thanks David.

10...

Great story thanks for the great read

A load of mystic mumbo-jumbo. I loved every word. Fantastic concept and execution.

Please write more stories, I have read all of your work and with one exception loved them all.

Sincere thanks for taking the time to write.

Simon

Just great to read a story with page after page of good winning out over bad. It was carefully contrived to show a lot of the advantages of farm life but really, let's face it, these folks had LOTS of capital behind them. Five stars. A great oeuvre!

I did not want it to end. I know that tomorrow I’ll be wondering what happened next.

Ten Stars. Could have been in Fantasy/ Fiction, but best where you put it. For the most, part it was well written, grammatically correct, spelled correctly, so I didn't have to wonder what the author meant. Wonderful story-line, plot, (whatever). Just GREAT. JJ

Excellent series! 5 BIG FAT STARS for every chapter. Thank you once again!

EXCELENT!!!

If life was only that open and straight-forward.

A GREAT READ !

THANKS !

1) If Ben became Pale Eagle, Kay should have been Eagle Feather.

I loved the whole series great work

An enjoyable read

I rode along until the telepathy bit. Had to hop off my horse at that point, Big Buffalo Bobareeno was unseated by a sense of ridiculousness. The magic white man becomes an honorary Indian, after first being transformed by his Scandinavian roots, and turns into super duper telepathic white man, brother to the Shoshone, community leader/hero, and giver of tobacco. All know of him, he of the amazing linking, though he does not know their name, and they give gifts to the super white man, even at the McDonalds. Or was it the Dairy Queen? A bit cringey for me, especially in light of the real history of the Shoshone and white men, but I enjoyed the read.

2nd time through. Glad to have found it again. Thanks.

What a wonderful feel good story. I enjoyed the characters and the changes they went through very much. Thank you for your writing.

Loved great story, I’m glad the Author didn’t turn the story in a some sort of massive orgie , just hope that Ben mom doesn’t go back to her old ways

I just loved this story, heart warming and delightful.