All Comments on 'Unintended Consequences'

Very decent read. Good build up. Lusty. Keep it up.

Are you going to continue either of these stories? I liked Empty Nesters better, but both could be series.

fantastic please continue this story

one thing,at start of story thought it was a bloke telling the story, Zane !!! is it just me or is Zane a mans name

might be just me but her name being Zane really threw me

think you should of made it clear earlier that Zane was a woman,took 95% of page 1 to find out Zane was a she

from the point it was clear Zane was a girl really loved it

A very beautiful love/sex story. Love is not always part of sex, and sex is not always part of love; bit when they come together, as here, it is always beautiful, and who really gives a damn about the relationship? Is this a true story? I hope so. There are little details that make it seem real.

This was incredibly hot!

Zane is a very ugly name for a girl. It honestly threw me off cause at first I thought Zane was a guy. The manly name plus you never indicated that Zane was an actual female till well into the story.

Only knew one and she was a knock out. However, the story has been tweaked to reveal the author's gender sooner. It'll be up in a day or so.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zane Zane is a Latvian girl's name, which is derived from Zuzanna, a name originating from Hebrew Shoshannah meaning white waterlily.

Tell the truth. This really happened didn't it? Is there more?

You "complement" a shortage, but you "compliment" a person.

Over the years, I've noted a decline in the ability of the authors on Literotica to write in proper and correct English. It's quite dismaying.

You only have two stories are there more to either?

I read Empty Nesters first and really liked it. I was hoping that this story would be as good which it was. It was so erotic, filled with love and understanding that a person could not help but get caught up in the story and become turned on.

The love between characters make this a really nice story.

Thanks to GrandTeton for helping re-edit this story.

The edits polish this gem. Saw the comment and re-read this. Hope more of the story is coming.

But I'm wondering where it's going.

Mom's in a similar relationship with her brother? If so, that might skew the advice she can give them. How long has it been since Zane spent much time with her brother and mother? We know she has been out of the house for 5 years and didn't even recognise her brother's voice. Where does the money come from for Uni? One in grad school is expensive, but two?

Your use of I've is a bit odd.

"Can I've one more?" That contraction just doesn't flow when spoken. Yes, I've used it myself many times, and I understand "Can I have one more", but it takes a second to go back and figure out just what you are saying when you have them say: .

"Yeah, I've to get back."

Unless it's a regional usage and I just live in the wrong region?

The answers to some of your questions are answered in the 2nd chapter. (How the mother deals with it...)

Sons often sound like their fathers on the phone, especially as they get older and Zane may have been drunk.

Graduate schools use their graduate students as teaching assistance and pay them for the service. They move on to be paid research assistance. Not much but enough to live on.

I've search and replace misuse. Thanks for pointing it out.

MM

Great story well written and can't wait to start on the next one but sadly it will be after work!! Keep them cuming!!!!!!

Dick

Great start :)

great story. combine it with mother and uncle for future life stories.

Am really looking forward to another re-read. Good Luck.

three great interlocking stories. suggest Mom and Dan have a weekend retreat w/ kids for support and possible guidance. You folks are writing a worth my time series. Keep it up, but hurry....

We have made corrections and tweaks to enhance our second story. In fact, we've been posting refreshes to most of our stories to fix issues. These should be live in a few days. -MM

This is so hot, not to mention well written as well. I found this series after reading "Page" which I loved too! Keep up the great work :-) Your definitely going on my favorite authors list :-)

As a man of the south and in particular the Carolinas, I love your references to places and schools I know well. I especially loved the reference to my alma mater, Clemson, from where I earned my BS in Civil Engineering.

The story of Zane and Adam is also very hot! My sister and I were at college together but it was much more tame than your characters' experiences! The allusion to cum swapping (when they kiss after she swallows) is excellent. It implies more is possible and that implication is exciting.

Great story and look forward to more from you two!

Please Please continue this wonderful series..

Well written,sexy,and HOT! When 4 pages seem like 2,I know I'm into something good!

You have an excellent talent for writing bro/sis love stories. I only ever knew one other like you and she quit writing after posting about a hundred such stories. Definitely Five Stars!

Good job! Easy reading, engaging characters, challenging issues, workable relationships - looking forward to follow ups.

Really looking forward to reading the next part...

Please continue.

I really liked this chapter and the story it's telling but I'm finding some of the writing a little "clinical". It sets the rhythm in the writing to a very measured beat in places and makes you realise you're reading a story and not "experiencing" the story. Maybe it's just me but it just brought me out of the moment on more than one occasion.

why are you worried about a GRE? since a passed GRE is required to be in grad school in the first place????????????????? stupid is as stupid does...

The HE being Adam, who hasn't decided which university to attend yet. Zane is already attending UVA.

"Oh - well - my personal life is crap. I haven't been doing very well socially. Instead I've focused on my courses and preparing for the GRE (graduate record exam). My GPA and GRE are the reason I got so many acceptances," he said.

5 stars. very enjoyable reading. it like the very long tease. makes it all more enjoyable.

Can't wait to read the rest!!!

The comment by MindsMirror convinces me that it is conceivable for Zane to be a female name (in Latvia).

Also, Wikipedia says it is a Latvian feminine given name.

However, another Internet site, listed the number of uses of Zane as a given name over the years -- and 100% of those uses were as a masculine name. Since historically in the USA Zane IS a man's name, and since this story is set in the USA, it makes a person wonder what the authors intended by using a name that is universally known as a man's name within its milieu.

Kind of a picky point, which makes no difference to the story once you make the mental shift, but it is a curiosity.

Paul in Oklahoma

Fantastic story. Sibling love is awesome. I hope they stay together and make beautiful babies.

Wow..... just them finding and being honest with each others feelings...... what will happen between them later??? What would mom think??? But they love each other....why not??? Good story better than I thought it was going to be. Looking forward to reading further....2nd part is already posted so lets see where this goes.....good job.

(12/8/2021) Well, that was hot. I hope they get their happily ever after and start a family of their own with their mom's support. 5 stars!

Excellent so far

Love it

There is no way that one cannot love this story and accept it.

Incredibly sexy but so much love! Excellent story! Loved it!

Excellent story and looking forward to reading more.

Re-reading again as the new chapter dropped after a long time, the story is still as good as what I read a long time ago. On to the next one

Hot AF

Idk what it is exactly but the language just feels stilted. Like the dialogue Is how a robot would talk instead of real people. Maybe PHDs are THAT much more educated than my measly masters but its just weird to me.

I'm loving it so far...FIVE STARS!

A great story handling incest in a loving & careful manner.

So far a solid 5 stars.

Bill S.

Great writing; really terrific story, perfect balance between the characters. The love making it feels so right, as they both say.

Excellent storyline and very well written. This author knows how to spin an interesting and erotic tale. Well done. 5/5

Don't read a lot of incest stories, but this is good.

STILL LOVED IT...STILL CINCO ESTRELLAS!

AMAZING - What an OUTSTANDING story! You draw such exceptional word pictures of their activities. Brilliant handling of characters and the incest plot. Thank you for writing this story. 5 Stars....

Fabulous story, 5/5 all the way.

WOW, I loved this story.