All Comments on 'Up North Ch. 01'

A lot.

But you do really need to edit.

That would make a much more comfortable read.

Some of the colloquialisms that you use (for flavor, I suspect) are amusing, in a quaint way. But I lost track of how many times I ran across the word "out" when you clearly meant to use the word "our". Believe it or not, it does distract a reader from the story. It makes the difference between 4 stars and 5, or 3 stars and 4.

I'd like to read more about this scenario you've set up, but I ask that you use more care when editing it. Read it, a line at a time, without rushing. Then read it again, the same way. When you can read it through, slowly, line by line, and without finding errors, then you can post it. (And even then, I'd be willing to bet some minor mistakes will have slipped past you, but a few errors in a story spanning pages are forgivable, while dozens and dozens in the same space are not.)

I applaud your writing spirit, please continue to entertain us with your narratives. I am curious whether you finally consummated a sexual relationship with your aunt or mom because it seems that would be the natural progression of an incestuous relationship. Writing a story becomes easier and more descriptive with time and you should practice just a small amount of editing when you finish a page or two. Keep up the good work. The Centurion

Steaming pile of shit without a cherry on top

Good start. Hope chapter 2 is going to be soon.

A great story, but I've just been into your profile and there's NO follow-up,,,you just can't leave it there,,he's got two horny women to satisfy.

I can't wait for Chap 2 where James fucks Mom's sweet stinky asshole!

Mr.DW is a prolific author, with a number of fine tales to his credit. He's also very generous, just check out his list of Favorites. But there are always know-it-alls who have to push themselves forward. I wonder where someone who calls himself "Epiphany Jones"--who's authored not a single story of his own--gets the nerve to give lessons to DW, an accomplished contributor to this site.

The spelling's atrocious, but I love the natural way it flows!

If you are going to write about North Dakota, at least know geography. Sioux Falls is in South Dakota, so if you are living in North Dakota, you wouldn't have to go up to Sioux Falls, you would have to go down to Sioux Falls....stupid stuff like that ruins the story

Around thirteen, my cock was pretty big for my age; about 8 inches! Had I known of the pleasure, I know, as limber as I was, I could have developed a satisfying obsession and as I didn't, I regret missing out. Great story and I'd like to see more. I enjoyed it.