by RipperFish
I love it you've added great character builders throughout this story and now their new rather large pet. Awesome
im gonna need you to come on saturday... got some... next chapters that need to be finished
just because I will whine about the delay, doesnt mean I dont appreciate your work...
buuuuut come on man, this is worse then a drug, getting lost in the story, no more having a life for you!
I request that when done, you go over the whole thing again and if possible, submit it to Smashwords or the like, I got a few story's from LR there now, stories as entrancing as this are worth it, keep up the damn fine job
I have enjoyed the series a lot so far, and this chapter proves no different. Outstanding work.
Another great chapter to add to an already impressive story. I look forward to reading more. Thank you for sharing.
Toooooooo short!!!!!! Need more mental stimulation!!! Keep up the fantastic work! This is how I wished the Man-Kzin wars had gone. Waiting impatiently for the next chapter!
Mr. Fish,
So many authors on here use Sci-fi as an excuse to just roll out Hairy, sweaty, scaly, sticky, tentacle sex. Nothing wrong with that. It is good to see someone mixing it up and writing a story that is...well...a story! If I had my way I would wish to have some parts elaborated on a little more but that's just me, on the whole I have been able to happily rate each of your chapters a 5. I wanted to let you know that I thank you for your work to write this story, and hopefully others in the future! :-)
Sincerely, Payenbrant
Keep up the good works. I also have problems with viewing this story on my IPhone, It may be the interface between LR, the writing platform you are using and IOS. Or it is just a glitch in the system.
Keep up the good work and I will wait (impatiently) for the next chapter. I also know that you sell no wine before it's time and release no chapter before it's done.
I think the problem with IPad & Android reading actually IS that you are using characters that apps don't understand when rendering from Literotica. Myself I found that I can't view anything after the "+>0<+" you are using to segment story sections. Maybe use something else instead?
Maybe suggest using a different app for internet browsing. I use chrome on my iPhone and have no such issues.
Ugh...dude, that was just nasty. Did ya really had to have the dog-thing eat those parasites? Moreover, don't you think its at least a bit disgusting to have them scratch it, and come away with their hands covered in bugs? I think I puked a little in my mouth reading this one, so you won't get a 5 this time. Sorry.
I actually use the android app when reading on my phone. My previous comment actually had more content but those characters seem to just make anything after them disappear. FYI, I posted the comment on my PC via chrome so.... lol. Regardless, keep up the outstanding work.
Good story always looking forward to the next chapter most stories ive read have at least a few errors its refreshing to see yours does not
But fun!
A lot of clever little asides and character / subplot building, very good tale sir!
Jason
I am loving this. It is very well written. This is the first discontinuity that tripped me up in your writing. Since you requested such feedback, I want to help. It was the cure for Rovers itching. I'm am pretty sure that ashes are not acidic. They should have a high pH which means they are basic.- low pH is acidic. At least that is what I remember from chemistry class. And you can make soap by combining oil and a base (lye) with heat and stirring. You make lye by putting water through ashes. I made soap once this way. Anyway, to make my convoluted reasoning shorter. I am pretty sure that Rover's ashes are basic not acidic.
ashes do have a high pH (around 9-10) meaning they are basic, not acidic.
I like the brief change of pace. Rover would likely make a good addition to any household :)
The intermission helps fill out the story and give it a better feel.
DJ
That was a seriously cool transition chapter.
Lots of 'housekeeping' and character dev, even if the character most developed was an anteater-shaped dog the size of a Yugo ;)
J
Thank you so much.
I find your story to be outstanding.
I rarely send comments, but this story is so uplifting for me that I was compelled to write.
I believe that you are gifted.
Enjoying the story a second time now, a few years later. A minor technical point from a chemical engineer: ashes of earth’s trees are alkali, that’s why they can be used to make soap (as the med scanner suggests) - soaps are made from a mixture of a base and fat (“lye soap” being an early and harsh example). While, this planet’s trees might not be the same, Carter’s memories of earth’s trees would definitely be of basic ashes.
And “sweetening” the soils as a kid is also reversed. Acids taste bitter (lemon juice). Alkalis reverse that, “sweetening” the soils.
I noticed a typo 'blong' for 'belong'. But 'blong is proper Pidgin English for the word, and the association with the new bipeds in this story made me think of the beautiful and affecting Melanesian hymn 'Jisas yu holem hand blong mi' (Jesus, you hold my hand) that was used in the movie Thin Red Line to wonderful effect.
Earth parasites are usually closely-adapted to their hosts - cat or dog fleas will bite humans, but they die. Human fleas are most closely related to bat fleas; they adapted to us when we shared caves with bats. Just a nit-pick - but a sci fi should get existing science correct, yes? Comments about (Earth) wood as being alkaline -not acid - are also correct.
Enjoying the story, 5* all chapters, thanks for sharing.
Dixon (UK)