All Comments on 'Victoria's Valentine'

WHaT!!!

What an oddly engaging tale! I must say though and that I was hoping that perhaps it would be a disembodied Victoria.. but you basically having her inhabit Eric's mother's body was logical yet unexpected. What I really didn't expect for the twist was for his dad to show up; you followed it up by a bigger twist, by having her slap him with the thorns of the roses, and then likely beat him to death with a baseball bat! I was really hoping that it would strictly focus at the end on Eric and the person Victoria's spirit inhabited. It does disappoint me greatly that you did not finish the scene, basically allowing him to finish the deed and it also is disappointing that we don't really find out what happens to the dad, although we do kind of understand that he died from that beating. The thing is though I can't help but feeling that Victoria should have been immensely grateful, because the story establishes that she would have been grateful had any male- - or even any spirit - - satisfied her. It would have been far more satisfying to suggest that not only did the mom want to participate but Victoria reveal how willing his mom was to participate in the whole thing; it only made sense because his dad was two states away. That's why the ending kind of seemed so unexpected and a bit unjustified.. because the story provides no detail or hint that suggests he's going to show up early.. or even on time. So for basically the dad to end up cuckolded just makes no sense in my mind, although it partially clicks because of what happened with Victoria and her parents. It just seriously doesn't make sense that Victoria would respond so horrifically, when she should have been over the moon to have had Eric multiple times, and even enjoy him!

***

I greatly compliment you on a very novel account; this was very original, and the story highlights Victoria's insatiable need to enjoy sex. The thing is though, is that it could have been taken in a delicious direction, or he and his mom ended up enjoying the experience.. with just hints of roughness and perhaps a little bit of going overboard because of Victoria's spirit basically inhabiting her. The story definitely leaves a reader wanting more, and so it just miffs me why there wasn't just a shade more story.. and especially to have them confront each other- - and especially to then realize that something else was going on-- and either initially be horrified but then continue it.. or somehow Victoria's spirit somehow would have grown into a stronger force to continue the couplings. I did enjoy it enough to award the story a 4, and even with a little bit of the horrific edge.. and more detail... I would have awarded it a 5.

The ending was a disappointment.

Very powerful story so well presented

Incest or not this woulda done better in Erotic Horror, especially if you plan to continue it.

You write some fascinating stories, but I can’t begin to tell you how glad I am that I don’t live in your head to imagine them firsthand…

Too bad about the ending. 3/5

This story far out of my comfort zone.

Unfortunately, this story shows quite a insight of, well, people's development potentialities. I definitely would have preferred an other kind of ending. Not just "Sorry."

In 'Playa Dust in the Bedouin' and 'To Hell and Back' you figured out kind of a positive endings, despite the bad things that had happened to your protagonists or how fucked up they are. I really liked that!!! Although I'm aware that's not how life works.