All Comments on 'Virus Ch. 01-02'

And stop apologising for the "lack of smut". Tension is all you need now, and you have created plenty of that. The erotic bits can come when they are appropriate.

L

real potential here. keep it up

Original Duck

Really enjoying it so far. Well written and very few errors. Keep it up!

the smut...just gimme some of that delicious tale...(seriously - it's good stuff)

Build the story, never mind the immediate gratification/want smut now crowd.

If they really want sex without a story why don't they just go watch a cheap porno?

Overall a good start to a story.

Do however watch for missing words; for example "didn't along", pretty sure you meant "didn't get along", but it's better writing if you say it instead of making me fill it in.

Good start, I'm hooked - the lack of smut isn't an issue, its an interesting story. Can't wait to see what happens next :) 5 stars - Bear

Especially for a first story! Heck with that...this is a fantastic start, period!

This was recommended to me... I like the vagueness of it, very cool start.

A good story with little smut is far better than a smut laden poor story.

Les

I definitely want to read more. It's quite short though, so I hope you either make the chapters longer or post frequently.

If this is your first posted chapter readers are going to be very happy with your stories. A very solid foundation and well presented.

asianToy

Author's Note:

Thank you all for the feedback! I appreciate everyone who took the time to leave a comment. The chapter subtitles were supposed to be cheeky asides but I can see that the 'no smut' remarks, plus the apology in my note at the bottom might come across as a little too apologetic. I just submitted an edit to remove those chapter subtitles.

Luedon - Thanks! Glad you felt the tension. Hope I can maintain it throughout. As for the erotic bits...they'll be appropriate soon. :)

Original Duck - Thank you!

Anon ("Very Good") - Thanks. As for "few errors," I'm waiting for someone to call out my unrequited love of the comma.

Anon ("to 'ell with") - Ah. Right there with you. I'm also a sucker for a good story. Hope you continue to enjoy mine as it progresses.

Tw0Cr0ws - Gah! Yes, I didn't mean to leave out a word. Good catch and thank you! Included that in the edit. As for the immediate gratification crowd, I feel the same. I'm also writing a porn with very little plot and I just keep adding details. The hows and the whys, the layering that got the two people together, that's the stuff I crave.

Anon ("mooooore!") - Thanks and more to be posted sooooon!

Anon ("fantastic start") - Thank you!

black_maestra - Awesome! I'm so glad you found my story!

Les - Oh, they'll be plenty o' smut a comin'. Hopefully this'll fall in the "smut laden good story" category.

cantfightfate - Yeah, I knew the chapters were a little short, which is why I combined them and decided to keep posting two at once. I think those were the shortest chapters though, if that helps.

asianToy - Thank you! Crossing my fingers I continued to keep your interest.

Waiting to see where we are going!

Good job at setting the stage for whatever is next. I look forward to reading where you take these characters.

Excellent start!

I'm now curious about the "families"...and where this will be going.

Thanks for this.

This promises to be quite a ride!

Not much really happened here, in terms of a regular plot, but you really caught me. Your writing really sucked me in.

I like this so far, I like the way the two male characters are developing, the way their traits contrast with each other and yet they still get on. And I like the way you haven't laid all your cards on the table, it has me intrigued.

The story has potential. The first does a good job of setting up the main characters. I like how the virus and it's effects have only been hinted at so far and the rest is a slow unravel in the next chapters.

Very well written. There was no chance of me not going to the next chapter.