All Comments on 'Visiting Niece Ch. 02'

Excellent writing ...

...how she wanted him to stay inside her and how she saved herself for him. The oral sex was a real turn on as well. The only improvement would be to describe his orgasm with more detail and to prolong the description of what he felt while it built up.

Keep going add her mom ur sister for a hot 3some bi mom eats her daughters used pussy and other holes

You do need to get mom into the hot tub. There are so many great ways to go with your story. I am looking forward to #3. Thanks.

Good story, nice buildup to the sex, and didn't refer to he cock size too often making that a plus.

Did have a few mistakes but they can be overlooked in your first writings, use spell check with your next story.

This is going to be a great story. Keep up the good work. Thanks.

too long! you wrote 4 pages just to tell us you fucked your neice. it wasnt romantic nor was it erotic.the build up was great just too long! I aplaud you for not constantly mentioning the size of your dick. because size doesnt matter, its what you do with it. get to the point! too much verbage!

Despite the annonymous negative feedback(neat how that happens) this was a good continuation of the first part. I am in agreement with others in that you will hopefully have a 3rd part and bring the mom into the mix.

... for a series of erotic stories. I enjoyed the character buildup. Previous comments suggested you use spellcheck. Spellcheck will not help as the spelling errors actully did spell words. An example of this would be if you spelled too, but actually wanted toy, tot or top. The wrong spelling actually spells a word. Spell check will not flag these.

What you need is someone to actually proofread your stories. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading subsequent chapters.

Have read others comments. Agree the verbage is a little much. Figure you can correct this in future installments, Looking forward to the next episodes which chronicle the appearance and participation of her mom. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Come back soon with more fire for your readers. :-)

I loved it. Ive had fantasys about my uncle for years. I soooo wish you were mine!

If there's one thing I hate, it's one page chapters with a week or two (for that matter, even a day) between them. Sexual tension was brought in early, and built up until Pete and his niece completed the act. Well done.

To those who are critiquing the length, do you really mean verbage? Such a common misspelling, that even Chrome catches. Time for definitions: verbage definition

spelling, jargon /ver'b*j/ A deliberate misspelling and mispronunciation of verbiage that assimilates it to the word "garbage". Compare content-free. More pejorative than "verbiage".

So are y'all who are criticizing a story for having a good buildup to a climax (so to speak), are you intentionally misspelling verbiage, or are you just as ignorant as it first appears.

Thanks for the story, I don't usually suggest how a story should continue (or if it should) but since you introduced Mom as a possible lesbian, I for one, would enjoy seeing her come into this story for a little brother-sister, mother-daughter action.

Just leave out the the bit where you keep telling us about how big you think your cock is and re-read your storyand correct grammer before you submit it and it will be perfect.

Very nice, slow, plausible build-up. Great descriptive skill. You stay with the essentials but still create the scene. Hard to improve on the story in any way!

Look forward to a sequal. Will the bi mom make an appearance?

to proof read for you since you either can't or won't!!

Example - "As I pulled the car into the garaged she responded" - 'garaged'?

Spellcheck wouldn't catch that but any COMPETENT Proof Reader should have done so!

Let's have some follow on for this. Also, reveal if Becky is on the pill (i.e. she did have a perscription filled at the mall earlier that day)

What will happen when Becky's mom comes to visit? Do we find out if she is a lesbian or is she bi. I think that a thresome would be appropriate.

Loved it and No threesome what the hell is wrong with the people below oohhhh and let her not be pn the pill

Wowow best! Fucking her so hard she doesn't want to leave u literally

Can hardly wait for the next part of this series

Dude. You have a great story here. Both of them. But man, you seriously need an editor. If you can't do that, you really need to proof read your stories. You have not just one or two little mistakes that I can overlook, but you have tons and tons of misused words, misspelled words, missing commas, commas where there should be periods. I could go on.

You're not doing yourself a service by posting in this manner. Show some pride in your work. If you can't figure out what the misused or misspelled words are, then you need an editor. Your stories deserve better.

That said, some dumbass will come along and tell you to ignore me because I don't have any stories posted or that you should just ignore the haters, etc, etc. Those people are the fucking morons on here.

... because the mistakes really do detract from the story. Sorry to say that, but it is what it is.

Other than that, both chapters were good. Character development was good, and the story line just kept getting hotter, all the way to it's conclusion.

I'm not trying to be picky here, but aside from the mistakes, I enjoyed both chapters.

Thanks, and keep writing!

This deserved to have a proper ending and not be left in mid-story.

Very disappointing after a great two chapters.

wonderful story. I enjoyed reading it in last 2 nights. HOT

was good but to contrived.

Excellent story "overly burdened" with descriptive narrative that adds nothing to the tale.

Incredibly well written. I love the story. Too many grammatical errors and typos.

And what happened to the rest of this 'story'??