All Comments on 'Voyeur Ch. 03'

Just a great story thanks for updating. Her Ex sounds like an idiot and wow Ben moves quick

While I gave your story 5 stars, as it is so excellently written, I do believe that the whole Marcus complication drags it down. People like him are an overused cliché caricature and don't work well as a character. His existence is too implausible. I wish you would forget about this part of your story -flashbacks of the abuse would be sufficient- and focus on how Ben is going to try and fix her, which should be far enough challenge.

Her having doubts and attempting to end the relationship or him having an accident or discovering he got married to a bimbo in Vegas while drunk or whatsnot would be giving you enough matter to keep the scenario interesting. Even better, he could be offered a risky job abroad and she could go with him and discover her inner strength in dire circumstances -abduction, imprisonment of him or her or both...-.

The Marcus edge is too predictable and boring and I'll likely stop reading should you go on with it. Anyway it's your story and I'm just one reader. I'm sure there are plenty of people here who won't mind as much. Take care.

Quite the transformation from someone chasing "modelesque" party girls to being completely infatuated by someone rendered a little mouse. Marcus must have really ground Racheal's self esteem to dust for her to become so insecure. Lets hope Ben's affection can help her quickly regain her self assurance.

Perhaps while they are going out to eat they should swing by another pharmacy or, as of this point, this one way love affair could go pear shaped quickly.

The Moody Blues? Wow, you had to dig in the archives for that one.

Looking forward to the next chapter

Every single fucking chapter keeps getting better and better. Please keep up with the updates I need more!!!!!

I really enjoy this story!

The writing is just down right amazing, it was lighthearted and witty.

Though, adding another man in the story along with a few complications from him seems to look, well, draggy and too predictable.

Her ex-boyfriend could've stayed in the flashback and that'll work well enough already.

This was supposed to be a lighthearted story, isn't it?

Ben and Rachel are both complex individual, yet they compliment each other well, not to mention she's a flight risk already.

Would've been better in just seeing them progress together rather than adding unnecessary characters just to drag this out.

Those are just musing that I can't help but think, feel free to ignore.

Also at this point is he trying to get her pregnant or what? I hope he is

Hope to read more!

This story is incredible. You have done an excellent job of describing Rachel and Ben. So much that I feel like I would definitely recognize Rachel if I ran into her on the street. It has been a long time since a story has kept me smiling. Now I have two of your stories to keep watching for new chapters. Hoping to learn more about Marcus who I already dislike!

Keep up the great writing. Can not wait for the next chapters.

I love unwanted by the woman pregnancy stories where the woman ends up keeping the child. In this case, Ben is good at kidnapping her. I am so glad more is written. I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Not sure how many fall for you trying appear as two different people with the same opinion in a sad attempt to add validity to your perception. Nice try. Were you really not satisfied with your threat to stop reading if Bellie444 didn't alter the Marcus storyline? What a piece of work you are! Sounds just like the kind emotional blackmail Marcus would employ. LMFAO! If you think Marcus is transparent and predictable....well sweetheart he has nothing on you! So how about you piss off and leave. That's right. Take your ball and go home. No one wants to play with you anyways! You might have better luck trying to intimidate some middle school writer over on Wattpad! Your childish tantrum aught to fit right in there.

Another 5 stars for you Bellie444. Stick to your own vision and story directions. I may occasionally disagree or even rant at one of your characters but I would never demand you alter your writing just to suit me.

I've officially fallen for Ben, his character is so charming ..and the romantic in me was grinning the whole time reading this chapter. Shipping them so hard rn and I'm really really hoping ben won't go psycho mode on Rachel and scare her away in the future chapters! Fingers crossed🤞

Instalove downgraded it.

It was hot but Ben’s edging on pathetic/pyscho here. Dont mind having Marcus (someone else’s comment). Its a short online story, got to have layers!

Oh my god! Leaves me breathless and addicted for more. So glad I found your work, Bellie444!

I'm just freaking loving this!

love love love the characters, so beautifully written!! the dialogue is amazingggg