All Comments on 'Was He Guilty? Ch. 01'

Of course, what you have basically is two flirts and a horn dog; and Jeff, who seems to be a bit "morality challenged" himself.

One point left unexplained is why they only had two days. By context, the obvious presumption is that Jeff is on death row, but it would have been nice to have that point clarified.

Looking forward to ch.02.

I admit that he does sound like he went off the deep end but as he pointed out he now had time to think about it.

Look forward to the rest of this novella...I love crime novels anyway, and your erotic crime story is off to a great start.

Interestingly, if one reads/watches crime novels and TV, it is surprising that there are people out there who really engage in these kinds of behaviors. Stealing ones spouse's money seems to be a pretty common motive in murders.

A good start on establishing characters, waiting for the next episode

If DGHear's goal is to have Jeff come across as Moron .. a geek who is so clueless he thinks shit is a bowl of Honey...

BINGO... the author is off to a good start

Well I would think that if any man is that obsessed with another woman's tits he probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place. But for the sake of the story I'll try to ignore that.

I just finished reading Ch 1 - 4. Looking forward to the next chapter.

except the guilty ones. TK U MLJ LV NV

Trouble is brewing. Thanks for the offering.

Sounds like a conspiracy to me. We'll see...

A good running start -

Do we kill him off in the end -

Not DG's style

even the no-talent ones. TK U MLJ LV NV

...have some difficulty with author´s american english...

¨Jeff had went to college¨ had went?? he had gone to college.

¨I want you to try and see¨ try and?? it´s try to.

¨It was then that another young women came into Jeff's life¨ it´s woman, not women.

Strange that writer´s women graduate from college and then become secretaries. His perspective, I guess, based on his milieu, era, and certainly country.

´

???

3* (for now)

BJ

Nice development till now

I like your stories but this Jeff guy has an iq of a gnat.

I'm guessing bad things is going to happen to him and he kinda deserves it.

4'11". What's this? Midget porn. Or something worse ...

Excess words used in fleshing out the story that didn't really add to anything.

The MC isn't well defined, but really who gets the hots for 4'11", that's child sized. The description of Shauna just makes me think she's fat.

That the MC would cheat on his fiancée and friend weeks before his wedding is just dispicable. Having fun on a stag or hen party is one thing but doing it to the beat friend of your fiancée is just the lowest of the low. Prison is the least of the things this MC deserves.