All Comments on 'Watching the Game'

This I liked. A nice twist on expectations. And amusing too

In the words of M Night, "What a twist". Was seriously unexpected especially with the identical tattoo thing. I wondered how this was going to go, whether the MC knew and was setting up to wreck the wife in the divorce but no, went a direction I didn't see coming. Nothing bad with the wife, just a man with a sister in law with really terrible taste in men. Very good story, an easy 5 stars.

Nice job with the twist. It was obvious it was coming given his confidence but I had no idea it would be something as prosaic as a twin. The fact that the trope is so well used in lw makes it more impressive that you didn't telegraph it. Great job!

Yes, just like the other commenters, you got me with the special "TWIST". Nicely done Mr. Other, nicely done!

nice

Nice twist! I thought that footy was Australian Rules Football. You learn something new all the time.

5

Good one!

Did not see that coming. Made me smile. Good story.

4 stars Too many mis—- spells and tense uses.

a nice change of pace. Well done,well done indeed.

Cute story. One minor comment--there is no way that any person would not have recognized that the woman in the red mustang was pregnant.

Glad to see you again John. Love your stories, two months left until my death, so please keep them coming, from down under my friend.

I have enjoyed many of your tales. This one is no different.

But if your are going flaunt Mustangs! Make it a 1970 square back Pearl White. My wife's grand mother bought her one while she was in High School. It was awesome.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Nice little change of pace. Thanks.

Nicely done

Loved it! Just... did I miss it, or did you simply neglect to point out that the sisters got their tattoos as a pair?

Extremely well done - I didn't see the twin angle until the reveal! 5*

different story from you, but good

Good one

4.5/5

I loved this story! I didn't see the twin angle until the reveal. Well-done. 5 stars.

Great quick read. As many stories you have in the pipeline a quickie like this helps you reset to continue your more intense projects.

Good one, O2O1. I was worried this might be some open marriage kinda thing but figured that was not your style.

I for one enjoy a nice short tale so thanks for sharing.

Another fine entry from one of my favorite authors!

Well done.

Your usual right to the point story. Well done mate!

Really good. 4 stars

Ahh! great one. will be looking forward to see what's in your pipeline

below your normal standards but still fun

Ha ha. Had me for a minute. Shortest story I think you put out but enjoyed it as always

5***** Short yet unique story. Write On!

Loved it. Thank you, Other! Ha, you had me thinking that the MC was aware of her cheating and loved her anyway - just like you had planned. So well done. 5 stars.

Well done. 5 star work.

Hooked

Very different from your usual, but i enjoyed it all the same, Loved the identical twin twist.

5 Stars

I know what you were trying to accomplish but I think you took it a bit too far to the point important information got left out and the end result was vague and void of excitement. We the readers were also robbed of the opportunity to hear about the actual pain inflicted on Cody but yet we were subjected to his crass, arrogant, and incorrect belief he was banging the mc's wife.

We also didn't get to learn any of the details surrounding the twin sisters reasons and motivation for her having the mc end some of her relationships. There were just too many unasked and unanswered questions that were needed to make this story pop for the readers.

Sorry, but not one of your better offerings.

Definitely a much lighter side than your normal fair. Thanks for sharing.

As soon as he started smiling while thinking of his wife as Cody was still sitting there glaring at him I started waiting for the punchline. Even with me expecting some kind of big reveal I still didn't guess where you were going until you got us there ... Well done.

Great story. I gave it 5 stars. Had a great twist at the end with the twin aspect. Keep up the good work.

Very good; now part 2 what did he do to cody?

Good story with a nice twist as others have said. 5 stars for the entertainment and humour. Thanks

Nice

5 stars

So he is a dirty prosecutor who illegally jails all his sister in law's pushy ex boyfriends?

.

But only the ones too stupid to notice the breakup text comes from a different phone number?

great little read,It's nice to read an actual loving wife story every now and then.

good job enjoyed the story

Good job! I didn't see the twist coming at all.

Well done for trying something completely new and moving away from your usual formula. It's the best way to grow as a writer.

Katie or Kattie, which one is it? Pick one spelling and stick with it, please.

Interesting. Unexpected ending. Well done. 5 stars

I guess I'm too straight to 'get' the twist other commenters speak of.

So, at the ending, what I am is a bit confused (a hand, and then a foot, from a pregnant stomach?), and wondering what it was that I missed.

And I'm thinking I had to have missed something, because (even though the twin sister thing IS cute), 'other'-wise this story leaves me foundering --- which subtracted two stars from my rating!

Ah shucks, what about the Cowboys, Titans and now Dolphins, tisk, tisk you'll upset all those fans! Mr Other.

Didn't see that coming. I figured Cody was just bluffing about having sex but was putting the full court press on her just the same. The twin sister was a nice touch.

A different story from you, much better than l expected. I do like your long ones

Thank you and 5/5, l look forward to your future works.

Surprised by both the woman in question being a twin & his wife being pregnant. How did the idiot mistake the 2? Also, missed what happened when hubby sent the paperwork, etc., was sent. Was there actually a confrontation between the men? Enjoyed the story and... in spite of the above, 4 stars overall. Always interested in the next story by his writer. Bob

Twist, nice story.

Oh holy crap, if you never do anything else in life, take what you've done here and embrace it. Brevity, focus, believability... THIS is what you've been missing in your other works.

A little hand pushed itself out of her stomach and moments later was pulled back in? What the hell? I know I've gotten old, but didn't realize I'd also gotten senile. Somewhat more alarming is the fact that a quick glance at the comments shows that either I'm the only one that noticed the hand thing or the only one that didn't get the joke. Can somebody help out an old man? What the hell was that?

I have to agree with the comments from your readers and especially the reference to the 1970 MUSTANG. Nothing really special about the last 20 years fo the Mustang

Very nice bit of writing. Totally caught me out with the twin twist. Technically very good as well.

Loving wi------WAIT!

Why did MC's wife had Cody's number???!!!

Awesome tale, well done

Great twist and story.

Nice twist. But is the baby his?

Loved it. If it had been my X he was talking about, I'd probably had believed it, haha!

5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS! Thanks.

He definitely needs to do a paternity test. Identical twins cannot be so different in character and behavior. Consequently, Janie has the same slutty side as Kattie. Which brings us to the fact that the sisters could well afford to fool around a little and swap personalities, for the sake of pleasure and mischief, confident that even if a married sister is caught, you can always take on an unmarried clone.

Great as usual!!!

I kept waiting for the negative twist near the end. I'm glad it never came.

Tight writing with an interesting twist. Great job!

@someoneother. presumably her pregnant belly was below the window level.

\

I thought that the fact that the tattoo wasn't on an intimate part of her body might figure into it.

\

Reminded me a little bit of a story where a guy was chasing of his "wife's" lover, and she turned out to be his sister, and she used him to save her from stubborn breakups.

Not bad, but not one of your best. You never fooled me, but you did confuse me a couple of times. The ending did clear up most of that, but actually created even bigger questions.

Had you had the identical twin sister giving out the wrong information to one night stands, that might work but why not just give out completely false information in that case? If they've been dating for a while, suddenly giving him a different name and phone number would be a little suspicious. The only way it would work is if she had been giving her sister's name and phone number from the start and all of their communications were being routed through his wife. Why would she then complain about being used to dump her sister's boyfriends when she's voluntarily allowed herself to be in that position from the start each time?

So, yeah, it's a fun little story, as long as you don't actually think about it...

Great - As usual!

Thank you

S & J W

How is he a partner in a law firm but puts bad guys in jail? Do some governments farm out prosecution duties to the private sector?

Unique twists for sure in this one. Enjoyed it immensely! 5 stars

Always like your stories keep up the good work

Something original in LW. 5*

Nice short and light story. It’s very good in its own way. I’m always excited to see a new story from you and you have never disappointed. Thank you for entertaining a lot of fans.

Thanks for the comments all, to address a couple of points as this was a short story:

1. Yes the baby was his, I saw that Janie was a true loving wife and they were solid.

2. Cody didn’t see Janie’s pregnant belly because they were seated in the car.

3. I see that Katie is search for someone like the MC and keeps settling for second best

Cheers

John Other

The twist doesn’t work,or is unconvincing, because of some unexplained loose ends.

Why does his wife have Cody’s phone number? Why have her text him at all, if she wasn’t the one with him? Why would he think a text from her phone is from her sister?

Why is MC so invested in his sister-in-laws relationship? It made sense for him to have researched that on his rival, but not someone with whom he had no connection.

The story could have added in something about him doing a deep background check on SILs boyfriend, either at her request or his wife’s, but absent some such explaination the twist doesn’t work.

Good idea, well written, but comes up a bit short.

I love your stories. The Bear definitely approves. 7 stars because I can't count, but it wasn't long enough and didn't have any bloodshed. That's the American in me. Keep them coming. God Bless, John Other.

The BEAR

Fun story, Thanks John. 5 stars, of course. Thanks, good job.

John Other.

I liked it, but I'm a little confused. The MC knows all about his sister-in-laws boy toy, name, age, 29, even his fiancés name, Brianna Phobee, and realizes from the start that Cody had mistaken Janie for Kattie. But when he goes home to Janie and asked her to send the text, was it to Cody or did she send it to Kattie for her to break it off with Cody? Who text Janie back to say ol' roid boy a.k.a Cody Williams was going to fuck up the MC? Those details are not clear to me. I guess it isn't really important. After all it's JustOneMansOpinion :)

A nice change of pace

Nicely written. AAAAAA++++++

Wife's texting part is confusing.

Is she texting directly to Cody, or is she texting her twin?

Also why is he that deep into her wife's twin's relationship yet he let the guy approach him first even with all the incriminating stuffs. And he is a criminal lawyer at that. Now the plot and the characters went all over the place.

Twisted, interesting story with a 5 starplot!

Nice twist!

Lovely!

hey loved it like short stories keep up the good work mate 5 from me

That's set me up for a good Monday. 5* story.

good little story. 5.

Cute. 5*.

Good story with a nice twist a the end

Thanks for writing

Great story, nice twist…5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Love it when you authors come up with a little twist in these stories, good job!

Nice little mention of the cowboys my hometown team

Well that was fun.

Thanks!

Cute that the only clue (up to that point) that there was a more-involved-than-was-obvious text chain going on (Janie to katie to muscle head to katie to janie) was the 10 minute lag.

Fun story, beware the prepared man

Thanks for a story that's not as long-winded as most of your usual contributions. But the twist does not work. Why could his wife text Cody disguised as her sister? Twins might look alike, but their phone numbers definitely do not.

Well played Sir!

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Well done!

Clever short story.

That was slick... I didn't see the twin sister thing coming at all. Well done.

An Other great story... pun intended.

5/5 !

Terrific loved the surprise ending

Enjoyable without stress. Kudos.

MLJ

haha, this was great, while I love your stories, good to see you shed the serious side of things and write something with a little humour.

Until that last part, I was like WTF, Mr Other doesn't write cucks, and then the sister twist was perfect!

Someone said why Janie would be texting Cody, no, she was obviously texting her sister. I assume from how everything went down Katie must have been talking with Janie trying to dump Cody, but ol' roid boy (as a gym junkie myself I loved that) hit up the MC first.

First rate like all your stories Mr Other. But I hope you can give us some more drama and tears soon. You're one of the few authors here that really try to draw us into the story with the characters, not just the usual pump and dump or burn. I think that's why I like you.