We Met at the Library

Monday I went to class, there was just a few days left. I saw Tamara sitting near the back of the room, I went over and said hello.

"Hi, Oliver. It's been a while. I saw you got a good grade."

"Yes, thanks to you. Hey, want to go get some more tacos after class?"

"I don't date, but I will share a meal with you." She smiled.

After class we again walked down to the Taco Bell. We were sitting there talking about school when I looked up and Kathy walked in. She saw me sitting with Tamara, got a look of hate on her face. Tamara caught that, glanced over at me as I hunkered down, hoping Kathy wouldn't say anything.

"Old flame, right?" Tamara looked at me with those piercing green eyes.

"Yes, but it wasn't going anywhere, we broke up."

"That's why I don't date, with school and all I don't have any time for conflicts."

I just nodded. Kathy got her order and sat at a table across the room facing us. Things were cool enough in there that Tamara and I got up and left shortly after. Thank God Kathy didn't say anything.

"Sex, right?" Tamara asked me as soon as we were outside.

I nodded, shamefaced.

"That explains why she is so angry with you."

"I..I guess I didn't handle that right." I admitted.

Tamara nodded, at her apartment building she just thanked me and went inside.

I figured that was the end of that, too.

Kathy moved right after the end of semester. Jen never did come by again. I did have one long phone chat with Sissi, I explained that things were "moving on" now. She didn't really sound very unhappy about that.

Kathy was the one, the way things went there tore at my heart. I went from being always ready and willing, to not dating at all.

Tamara and I, in a surprise to me, shared a few meals and some talk, but it was all we ever did. I found her fascinating in a way. But she was so reserved that I never saw any opening at all to try and take things further.

We became...friends?

I got a job in my field that I liked the sound of, it offered fair starting pay and benefits. I buried myself in the work, advanced quickly over the next couple of years. I never saw Tamara during that time, she had taken a job in a different city. The distance made that impossible.

What we did was write. That might sound strange what with emails and all, but we sent cards, and long letters through the mail. Getting one from her became a ray of sunshine, the rest of my life was work. By this time text was becoming the thing, I did try that but with my overly fat fingers it just wasn't for me.

I loved the long letters, some of them ran to nearly a dozen pages. She always managed to ask piles of questions, so I got to write back and answer them plus then of course she had to write back to me to answer all the ones I asked.

Once she mentioned that she went out on a date with someone named Mark. She didn't go into any real details, I ended up tearing up my letter back a half dozen times, realizing I was foolishly asking too many personal questions.

I finally did date a few women I met, but way back in my mind was Kathy, I still felt horrible about that. I know, being a male I am not supposed to feel that way, but I did. I never took any of them home, although a couple made it rather obvious that they were willing.

I had let Kathy fall in love, let her make plans. I knew what was happening, and I let it happen anyway. I messed up her life, in the process messed up my own.

Then weakly, I made up a cock and bull story to try and let her down easy, that only made it worse. I felt ashamed of myself for doing that.

I had decided that it was best to avoid that situation, so I didn't go out much. My sex life became solo sexuality. My fantasies always started out with remembering how Jen was, or how Kathy had so eagerly done things to me.

Every single time the fantasies ended up with those green eyes looking at me.

Since my relationships were all platonic, the word went around that something wasn't right, I overheard a few comments.

I was coming out of my office one day and overheard Marti, one of the secretaries talking to a woman I didn't know that did the inter office memos and mail. I had taken Marti out a few times, just dinner, drinks, once we even went on a short picnic at a local park.

I had never even kissed her. That day after the picnic I dropped her off at her apartment, and she asked me if I would like to come up.

I had begged off, Marti got a really strange look on her face as I left.

"No, I don't think he is gay, he does go out sometimes. But he never does anything, it's weird. Maybe he is still in the closet?" Marti was saying.

"Really? He is so nice looking, why don't you just get him alone and jump him? I bet he is just shy." The other woman said, giggling.

"Maybe I will try that!" Marti said with a laugh.

I was sure they were talking about me.

It was about three weeks later when Marti told me she was having a nice quiet get together and asked me if I wanted to come over.

"Sure, sounds like fun!" I told her, thinking a party would be great, get me out of my apartment.

I found out what she meant by a "nice quiet" get together, she and I were the only ones there.

I knew exactly what was coming, and I wasn't really sure how to handle it. She had made a nice dinner, served me some wine. We retired to her living room, where she asked me if I minded her slipping into something more comfortable.

I nodded, sitting there with a nice full belly. A dozen excuses ran through my head.

Marti was serious about being comfortable, she walked out of the bedroom naked as a Jaybird! Her body was mature but beautiful, her bare breasts hung down slightly in a ski slope shape, she had a thin strip of pubic hair. I could see no sign of fat anywhere on her.

I got an instant erection, while I had been avoiding any relationships things still were not broken.

"I...uhhh...I don't want to get really involved with anyone right now." I managed.

"Neither do I, honey, but I could use some fun and maybe you might like some fun, too? Besides, this was hard for me to do, I don't normally just throw myself at men but I want you." She grinned at me.

I groaned and got up, it had been a long time. Marti was warm and soft and very certainly all female.

"I was beginning to wonder about you." She told me once, while we were resting. I had already lost track of how many times we had done it, I did glance at the clock and it was 3 AM.

"I am fine, I just....one time I had a girlfriend and I let things get...I ended up hurting her. It was awful, I was miserable and I just never want to feel like that again."

"My God! Don't tell me you can make love like this and you are a real man to boot?" Then she laughed, reached out for me.

The next morning Marti asked a very odd question.

"Can I put you on my list of fuck buddies?" She asked with a silly grin. She was still completely naked and had just made a stack of pancakes.

"Where would I be on the list?" I asked her, my eye on the pancakes. I knew I could eat a Cow at the moment, the night before had used up a lot of energy.

"You would be the only one on the list, sweetie. I am sick and tired of dealing with....jerks."

"What makes you think I'm not a jerk, too?" I asked, stuffing a fork full of pancakes in my mouth.

"I have been wiggling my ass at you for more than six months, with no reaction. Then I find out you have an oversize chunk of solid steel hiding in your pants all this time, hell if I had known that...?" She giggled, sat down in a chair and grabbed a plate.

"Assuming I can afford to feed you!" She giggled some more. I was wading through a stack of six of the pancakes, plus 3 eggs that were sitting on top of them.

"There is more." She laughed when she saw me looking around.

That began a year long affair, roughly twice each week Marti and I got together.

One evening we were lying in bed, she rolled over and draped her arm over me.

"I have something to tell you, Ollie. We have to end this." She said.

"Oh? Why?"

"I am moving to the New York office, I got the job as Executive Secretary. Perks and some power, it's a big step up the ladder."

"Wow! Really? When?"

"The first of the month." She said.

"Well, hell. I am going to miss you." I told her.

"Honey, I know I am going to miss you. Meanwhile, why don't you lick me while I lick you?" Marti hiked up one leg and set her crotch in my face.

A few days later, she was gone. A hole in my life that had been filled now became a huge gap.

A man gets used to regular sexual activity and Marti had fit the bill perfectly. She had made it clear our relationship was for pleasure.

For some reason I could deal with that.

Headquarters assigned me the job of interviewing replacements for our secretary. Marti's job had been to handle things for all of the engineering department.

I had talked to no less than a dozen applicants, the next one up I looked over the resume. She was vastly over qualified for the position, with a degree in engineering. Then I glanced at the name.

Tamara Walker.

I came right out of my chair, went out into the lobby. Tamara sat there with a smile on her face. Her hair was pulled back in the same bun I had always seen her in, she had on a conservative business suit.

Her face still bore the rugged look of years of fighting blemishes, she still wore those round wire frame glasses. Her green eyes looked up at me, I suddenly felt so happy I was almost high.

"Hello, Tammy. It's so good to see you!" I said, getting some sidelong glances from two other women that sat there waiting. The one I had spotted a few minutes earlier that had overly large breasts and was making a point of displaying them rolled her eyes.

"Hello, Oliver. It's been a long time."

"Come on in." I led her into my office, shut the door.

"My first question is, why do you want this job?" I asked her, slipping into my all business manner.

"I need the work and I can handle the position. It's step in the right direction for me." She told me flatly.

I got that, opportunity in the field was less for women. I glanced at the work history, she had been a receptionist, then secretary, and a short stint on a project for a company as an engineer.

"What happened at the last job?" I asked.

"I think I became too much of a threat to my boss, my next promotion up would have been his job." She said.

I understood that part, too.

"OK. You are hired of course, you will fit right in around here."

That began a long period of seeing her every day. She very quickly was handling everything, the truth was that she was even better than Marti had been, because if documents came past her desk with errors, she picked up on them instantly.

In less than six months, headquarters promoted her to an office with oversight in production.

Tamara was now at the same management level that I was, and I was tickled about that. She was moving some boxes into her new office when I stopped by.

Why I waited that long, I don't know for sure. Tamara was still in my mind most of the time, in all that period after Marti left, I never went out on a single date.

"Hey, I have almost $10.00 in my pocket, want to get a bite to eat?" I asked her. It was a sudden impulse, I hadn't planned it.

"I have $10.00 myself." Tamara smiled at me.

We took a taxi that time, it was about 3 miles to the nearest Taco Bell. For some silly reason it had to be a Taco Bell.

Like the few times so many years before, we talked about everything under the Sun. I found myself feeling comfortable and warm in a way that I had not felt for quite a long time.

"So what took you so long to want to visit?" Tamara asked, those green eyes studying me again.

"The company doesn't like us...dating underlings, but now...?"

"Oh, is this a date?" She smiled.

"Well. Yea, I guess." It was my turn to blush.

"You know I don't date." She laughed.

"You do too, you told me about that Matt guy."

"You told me about that Marti woman." She grinned.

I blushed even more at that. In all of those letters, I had really opened up to her. For some reason it is so much easier to say things in letters that are almost impossible to say face to face. Tamara knew all about the affair with Marti, right down to when she had asked me to be her "f**k buddy", as I had written it in the letter.

I really was at a loss for words with her sitting right there, gazing at me.

"You and I? We have had a long term...affair ourselves, you know." She blurted out.

"I guess it's like that, isn't it?" I wasn't quite getting where she was heading.

"I think I really know you, I feel like that anyway."

"I feel like that, too." I nodded.

"There were a few times, when we were going out to eat and visit, I wanted you to ask me to..you know."

"I didn't realize that." I said.

"Yes. I know that. But if I asked you to come home with me, it would mean that it has to be just...you and me." She was watching for my reaction.

"Home with you? You mean..?"

"Yes. I do. This isn't easy, I mean..to just be blunt like this but I think it's worth a try." Tamara had a stubborn expression on her face.

My mind went into a whirl.

"Are you suggesting...I mean..you want to have..sex with me?"

"No. I mean yes. Not just for..sex. That's part of it, what I mean is I want to be with you, and I want it to be just you."

"Just me?" I said.

"Yes, Oliver. Just you...us. I have been in love with you since way back when I was barely 21. I had decided that..it would never be, but then I saw the job opening, and I knew it was your company."

"I have been in love with you, too!" I blurted out. That just came out without even thinking about it.

"All this time, I think it's always been there." I stood up.

"My God." Tamara let her breath out in a rush, stood up and stepped around the table, hugging me.

People were looking at us strangely, I realized some of them had overheard. Two people standing up kissing in the middle of a Taco Bell does get noticed.

Tamara lived in a 3rd floor condo down by the river. It was a fairly expensive place. I found it interesting that every room turned on the lights by themselves as soon as someone walked in, and the room thermostats all adjusted automatically.

We both looked at each other, she suddenly seemed nervous.

"No man has ever been in here." She said.

"Really? I guess I just assumed that since you have been...dating?"

"That was when I lived in Denver, no man was ever in my apartment there, either. Besides, Matt was the only one I ever dated."

I wasn't really sure what she was getting at. She set down her purse, walked across the room and put her arms around me. Then she turned her head up for a kiss.

When our lips met, the room vanished, there was nothing there but her and the way her lips felt.

"Wow!" I said as she leaned back.

I reached down and stroked her sides, then my hands came up to undo the buttons on her blouse.

"Please be careful, I have never...." She said, her eyes closed.

It hit me.

"You have never? You mean....you are a...?" I somehow couldn't say the word, Tamara was now 27 years old.

"Yes. I wanted it to be you." She opened her eyes and looked at me.

"But? You dated that Matt guy for nearly a year?"

"Yes, but we never did anything. Oh, he kissed me and once or twice he...touched me...here." Her hands came up to her breasts.

"Once I even decided that it was time and I would, so we went to his house. But when he touched me all I could think of was you so I made him stop. Then when I wouldn't do anything more, he quit asking me out."

I placed my hands on her shoulders, held her away from me slightly.

"Tammy, I can't. I just can't."

"Oh. Why not?" She got a shocked look on her face.

"Because I am ready, but I want it right. I want to marry you...first! This just can't be an affair, I love you!""

Tamara stared at me for a long time.

"My God! Oh, yes! I will!" She said, hugging me.

We sat on the couch and necked until around 2 in the morning. I stayed with Tamara that night, she had a spare bedroom and I slept in there.

But not before she came out of the shower in her bedroom, then called out to me, the door cracked open slightly. I had barely gotten under the covers in the spare bedroom.

"Oliver?" Her voice was quiet.

"What?" I answered.

"Do you....want to see me?" She let out a tiny titter.

"OK." I got up, curious, went to my own bedroom door. We looked at each other, then she opened the door wide, standing there stark naked. Her eyes slid down to the bulge in my briefs, then back up to my face.

The light from the bedroom behind her framed her body. My breath came out in a gasp, she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Her breasts were capped with soft round nipples, medium size. Her waist flowed down to a mass of reddish pubic hair, it matched the hair on her head perfectly. There was no sign of fat at all. She had brushed her hair out, it still looked slightly damp, flowing down to her shoulders. Until that moment, I had never seen her with her hair down.

There were freckles everywhere, her skin was very light colored, there was no sign of her ever having been in a bikini.

"Well? What do you think? Do I look all right?" She asked.

"I think that I...you had better go back in to bed." I told her.

"You might want to lock the door, too!" I called out.

Tamara giggled, shut the door.

"No man has ever seen me like that before either, honey." She called back at me through the door.

That was a miserable night, I needed desperately to beat off but I refused to allow myself to do it.

The next few days were long beyond belief, it took some time to get the license and make arrangements. I did manage to leave for a few hours, I bought one of those rings that would choke a horse.

We stayed together every night, petted and necked but that was all. I even got to stroke her perfect breasts, my fingertips sliding across her soft nipples. She still had her bra on, I knew I didn't dare take it off.

Not yet.

The second night she went to her bedroom, then I heard her call out.

"What, Tammy?" I answered, thinking she was going to pose naked to tease me again. I opened the door in just my boxers, to find her standing there in pajamas. I stifled a laugh, they had fuzzy little yellow ducks all over them.

"Fair is fair." She said, grinning.

I knew what she meant, so I reached down and pushed down my briefs, my erection sprang free.

Her eyes widened slightly.

"I have never...." She said, then she quickly shut the door.

Finally we said our vows, that afternoon I picked her up and carried her over the threshold. We went directly to her bedroom, I lay there waiting, she didn't take very long in the bathroom. We had already decided that if children were in the mix, so be it.

Tamara wore just a short pink baby doll nightgown when she came out, she looked so beautiful that my breath caught in my throat. She had carefully trimmed her pubic hair.

"I have never..." She said just one more time as her hand came down and found me. She shuddered at the first touch. Then she lay back, I slipped up in position and let myself probe her gently with my fingers. Her body flooded, I kept on until her breath was coming in short little gasps.

I opened the bodice of her flimsy nightgown, baring her breasts so I could gently lick and nibble at them. Her nipples tightened up, her breath was getting more ragged by the second.

Her lips swelled, as she flooded even more with moisture, I felt that she was ready.

Still it was a terrible struggle, at one point I felt her wince so I stopped and waited until she began to push back gently again. I was careful to not thrust, letting her feel her way through it.