We'll be home for Christmas

"Oh my God." I gasped in a near orgasmic tone. "That's wonderful!"

I felt Erica slide my pajama leg up a tad and she rubbed the underside of my lower calf.

"You had your bandage on too tight." She said. "It was cutting off the circulation. That's why it was throbbing so much. You need to wear it looser so the blood can flow freely to the injured ligaments."

"Mmmmh, okay." I moaned.

My head tilted back as I reveled in the wonderful relief in Erica's soothing rub down. Closing my eyes, I replayed the events of the day, going all the way back to walking in on Eric and Lucy. How much things can change in twenty-four hours. Just when I thought that I would never be able to smile or laugh again, I realized that I'd been laughing and smiling all afternoon; and that the only sadness I'd felt was not for me, but for Erica as she told me her life story. Still feeling Erica's hands on my foot and lower leg, I actually said a prayer for the first time in years, thanking God for sending this beautiful angel to take care of me. Then my mind flashed to Erica carrying me from the truck to the room and I felt a rush of tremendous warmth flood into my body. The reality of just how special that gesture had been hit me hard and my eyes sprang open as it suddenly dawned on me what that unidentified sensation had been as she carried me: It was sexual arousal!

Lowering my head level again, I gazed down at Erica with a strange fluttering in my stomach. I couldn't tell if it was a good feeling or bad. There was an adorable look of child-like innocence on Erica's face as she massaged my foot. My heartbeat accelerated as I continued to revel in the wondrous pleasure of her touch and I felt tiny beads of sweat developing under my hairline. Was I becoming infatuated with Erica? It was true that I'd never met anyone quite like her and there was something about her that I just adored, so I guess in a way, I was infatuated with her. But is it possible that I'm becoming sexually attracted to her? How can that be? She's a woman. And I'm a woman. And she's a lesbian! Obviously it wouldn't be a problem for her to become attracted to me. Or would it? But either way, I'm not a lesbian. Or am I?

I was soon doing battle inside my head and heart, all the while Erica was rubbing my ankle and foot with a soft glow of genuine happiness on her beautiful face. Now, why do I keep referring to it as beautiful? Because it is, you dummy! But Lucy has a beautiful face too, and I never referred to it as that! So do Mom and Stephanie! Well, they're family, for God's sake! Okay, so I never really enjoyed sex with Eric, but I always thought it was just me not being all that into sex in the first place. Well, maybe it really was me not being all that into sex with guys at all! But what about sex with a woman? What about sex with Erica? The battle raged on relentlessly inside me and Erica didn't seem to have a clue it was going on, and despite everything that was at stake in this battle, I was still really enjoying Erica touching me.

"How's that feel?" She asked suddenly.

"Wonderful." I answered.

Suddenly the battle in my head stopped and I had a moment of clarity. I had learned so much about Erica and I had basically come to trust her with my life that day, so why not ask her the question?

(N) "Can I ask you something, Erica?"

(E) "Of course."

(N) "Well, it's kind of personal."

(E) "Is there really any other kind?"

(N) "When did you really know for sure that you were a lesbian?"

(E) "When I was about your age. Yeah, I was twenty."

(N) "How did you know?"

(E) "Simple, I loved women far more than I did men."

(N) "So, you have been with men before?"

(E) "Yeah, when I was in high school and early in college. Of course, I wasn't exactly the most popular girl with the guys. I was kind of shy and really insecure about my height."

(N) "Know the feeling."

(E) "Plus my sister had the reputation of being a slut, so by the time I got to high school, my brother was a little too protective of me."

I felt my heart begin to pound and watched my chest rise and fall rapidly as I was listening to my own story. A story that I hadn't shared with her yet.

(E) "But there were a few guys I went out with; mostly to school dances like Homecoming and the Prom. But there were a few other times I'd go out and there were even a couple of guys that I really liked a lot. They were sweet and charming and really cute. But when it came down to having sex, I just couldn't get into it. It just didn't do anything for me. But then when I got to college, my roommate and I became really close. I started having really mixed feelings and emotions about her. She was an amazing person and I just couldn't get over how beautiful she was. One night late in the spring of our first year, we got into this really deep conversation about life and we ended up having sex. It was the most amazing experience of my life, and that's when I knew."

(N) "Your college roommate, huh?"

Erica instantly caught on why I asked that and felt bad.

(E) "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, honey. That's just who it was."

(N) "It's okay."

(E) "Are you sure?"

(N) "Yeah. So, how did it come about?"

(E) "What do you mean?"

(N) "Did she make the first move or did you?"

(E) "Why are you asking me all this?"

(N) "Because I want to know."

Erica smiled at me and sighed as she continued rubbing on my foot. I sensed that her squeezes were now becoming more sensual than therapeutic.

(E) "Actually, I did. We were polishing each other's toenails and at the time, she was doing mine. And every so often the skin of her hand would brush against my foot and I would feel these tiny little electrical sparks every time it did. They sent tingling shockwaves all through me. So finally, I reached out, took her hand, slowly pulled her toward me and planted a kiss on her. The next thing I knew, we were taking each other's clothes off and getting into bed."

(N) "So what happened after that?"

(E) "You want a play by play or something?"

(N) "No! I mean what happened after that night?"

(E) "I took her home that summer and that's when my family cast me out. I had to leave school because my tuition was cut off, so I started driving trucks. She went back to school and I never saw her again."

(N) "I'm sorry."

(E) "There's nothing to be sorry about. Just the way things happen sometimes. Wasn't like I was madly in love with her."

I suddenly felt myself slowly leaning forward. My circuits were overloading with an overwhelming and unexplainable want and desire to kiss Erica. I'd never looked at another woman this way before; but then again, there had never been anybody like Erica before. There was just something so special about her and I couldn't resist.

(N) "So? Has there ever been anyone else?"

(E) "Oh, more than a few I suppose."

(N) "Anybody serious?"

Erica raised her eyes and saw me slowly leaning down toward her.

(E) "Not recently, no."

I ran my hand down my leg and took hold of Erica's, gently caressing it.

(N) "Why not?"

Running my hand slowly up her arm now from her hand, I reveled in the firmness and roundness of her muscle bound arms and incredibly soft skin.

(E) "I don't know. Guess I just haven't met the right one."

(N) "Really? And just what do you suppose the right one would be like?"

Taking hold of her other hand, I slowly pulled Erica up toward me as I continued to slink closer to her. By now, my heart was pounding so hard that it almost hurt and my whole body was trembling; but I was committed now and had to try this. I needed to know exactly what I was feeling. Our lips were coming within centimeters of each other now. The look on Erica's face was one of complete submission; a wanting smile was on her lips.

(E) "Well, for starters, I think her name would definitely have to be Natalie."

My lips pressed gently against Erica's and my heart stopped. Her lips were unbelievably soft, warm and moist. I could still smell the shampoo in her damp hair and the fresh scent of Irish Spring on her skin. I cupped her soft cheeks in my hands as I pressed my lips harder on to hers. I could hear nothing but the sound of my own breathing and my heart thundering wildly. I felt Erica's arms slide slowly around the soft cotton of my T-shirt and her hands caress my back. She was soon crawling seductively up on to the mattress with me as our lips gently grazed over and around each other. Before I knew it I was lying on my back and Erica was snuggled up beside me with her left hand resting on my stomach and her right gently stroking my hair. Still just letting our lips graze gently together, Erica rolled her body up on top of me and her breasts mashed firmly down onto mine. Then I suddenly felt the tip of her tongue probing through my faltering lips and run over my teeth. Before I could stop myself, I totally freaked and with all the strength I could muster, I pushed Erica off me.

"Stop!" I nearly screamed.

We looked at each other intensely, both of us on the verge of panting. Erica's eyes instantly filled with fear.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry, honey." Erica said, her voice shaky and full of concern.

My heart was pounding relentlessly and I was having trouble catching my breath. My body was trembling.

"Oh, honey. It's all right." She said reassuringly.

My mind was a jumbled mess of emotions and I was suddenly having deep chills shuddering through my bones.

"No, I'm sorry. I thought I was ready for this, but.."

Erica gently placed her finger on my lips mid sentence and smiled sweetly at me. Her eyes were full of compassion and love, but deep inside I felt like an evil tease and I hated myself for leading her on. And why did I stop? Kissing Erica was the most beautiful thing I'd ever shared with another human being and I was certain that I wanted her. What had happened?

"You don't have anything to be sorry about. I know this is all new to you. I shouldn't have let you go so far." Erica said.

"But..." I started, but Erica pushed her finger on my lips.

"It's okay. I understand." She said.

Erica gently kissed me on the forehead and then beamed her gorgeous smile at me again.

"It's late; and we've got a long day tomorrow. Try to get some rest." She whispered.

Erica slid slowly back down the mattress to my foot and then to my utter shock, picked up my ace bandage off the floor. I sat up and watched her wrap my ankle up with near medical expertise. I could see hints of deep regret and sadness in her face as she diligently worked and I soon realized that I was crying. Erica finished and quietly crawled under the covers of the other twin bed. I turned off the TV and switched off the light and continued to sob quietly until I finally fell asleep. I can't be certain, but I think I heard Erica crying too.

It was just after seven the next morning, December 23rd, when Erica and I were back on the road. Erica woke me just after five and I took a long, hot bath to soak my ankle, and my head! One felt monumentally better, the other like shit. By the time I was dressed, Erica had already loaded our bags, fired up the truck and done her morning inspection. She then had walked across the street for a bag of breakfast burritos, hash browns and a couple cups of coffee. Though I was still beating myself to death over the events of last night, Erica never showed the slightest sign of distemper or resentment about it. She was just as sweet as she could be. We at our burritos and watched the weather forecast on TV. The day was already overcast and bitterly cold with a forecast for most of Montana calling for flurries in the morning to near blizzard conditions by afternoon. I hobbled on my crutches out to the truck and managed to get in without incident.

Erica continued heading west on I-94 to Billings, where we switched over to Interstate 90; the home stretch that would take us straight into Seattle. Erica was as pleasant and talkative as she had been the day before. The weather steadily worsened as the day went on, just as the weather service had predicted it would, and we probably were not going to get as far as we wanted to. By the time we reached Butte, Montana in the early afternoon, Erica was dismayed with the time it had taken. Having hoped to at least get as far as Spokane, Washington on the day, the prospects of that happening now were slipping away as fast as the snow was falling. Then with eastbound truckers reporting bad visibility in the Rocky Mountains, it looked like Missoula was going to be as far as we'd make it today; and even that was pushing it. But we made it anyway.

We rolled into Missoula, Montana at just after six and into another road side motel very similar to the one we'd stayed at in Miles City. Again, Erica got us a room, but this time she didn't have to carry me across the parking lot; although I really would have liked her to. My ankle was really starting to feel better and I was actually able to walk on it with the aide of just one crutch. Now I really did look like Tiny Tim. Erica knew the town of Missoula very well as she made this run often; so it turned out that she had specifically chosen this motel because there was a small Bar and Grill right across the street that a dear friend of hers owned and operated. Holding on to Erica's arm and with my trusty Dickens crutch, I was able to limp along through the frigid Montana night. The place reminded me of an old west saloon with a bar running the length of the room and a row of booths along the opposite wall. With several tables in between the bar and the booths, covered with the classic red and white checkered table cloths; a couple of young waitresses patrolled the floor. There was a classic jukebox at the far end of the place, along with a couple of pool tables and some dartboards. The jukebox was playing nonstop Christmas music.

Erica and I sat at a table close to the bar where Erica's friend; the owner and bartender, Veronica, took care of us. Veronica was a short and round woman, much shorter than Erica, but still taller than me; probably five-seven or five-eight. She looked to be in her late thirties with thinning black hair that was trimmed very short. Her face was worn and lined, her eyes were deeply embedded and her muscle bound arms were covered with an extravagant assortment of wild tattoos. Over the course of the next couple of hours or so, Veronica came and sat with us when she had the time and she and Erica swapped stories of the good old days back in Carolina. Veronica was from Durham as well, and the two of them had gone to high school together, so she looked older than she was. Veronica drove trucks for a time herself and she had even team driven with Erica for a year or so. I wondered if the two of them might have been more than just friends.

Even though I was underage, Erica ordered two beers each round and slid one to me after they were delivered. Again, Erica had put a roof over my head and fed me for the second day in a row. Why was she being so good to me after the way I'd treated her last night?

The food was average to ordinary for a bar and grill: burgers, fries and assorted other deep fried, heart healthy American fare. It was getting close to eleven and I was starting to feel really buzzed. Veronica brought over three shot glasses full of Jack Daniels and three bottles of Budweiser. We shot the whiskey and guzzled the beer. It was the first time I'd ever drank straight whiskey and I thought I was going to hyperventilate as Tennessee's finest brew slammed harshly down my throat. Now my head was really spinning. Erica then had to go to the ladies room and excused herself from the table.

"I don't know if you know this or not, Natalie; but that young lady is crazy about you." Veronica said.

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"I can see it in her eyes when she looks at you. I can hear it in her voice when she speaks to you. And haven't you noticed the way she lights up every time you speak to her?" Veronica said.

"Guess I hadn't really thought about it." I replied.

"Yes you have. You've thought about it every moment I've known you. True, I haven't known you for that many moments, but you don't fool me for a second. I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice too. You're as crazy about her as she is about you. And you light up like a Christmas tree every time Erica speaks to you." Veronica stated.

"Yeah, I know." I whispered. I felt tears welling in my eyes.

"And that makes you one very lucky young woman. Hell, just having a woman like Erica being so head over heels in love with you is enough all on its own to make you the luckiest woman on Earth, my dear. But the fact that you love her right back every bit as much is absolutely priceless. It's a more precious gift than the gift of the Lord Jesus Christ himself. Don't let it get away." Veronica said.

Veronica squeezed my hand and smiled at me as she then went to check on her tabs at the bar. I took another sip of my beer to try and wash out the lump in my throat. By now I'd lost count of how many beers I'd had, but what Veronica had just told me was more than enough to wipe out the effects of most of them. I felt my heart pounding wildly and my stomach turning in somersaults, filled to capacity with butterflies. I did love Erica! I took a bigger gulp of my beer, shook my head and again let my eyes scan around this rustic little tavern. I couldn't help it; I loved the ambiance of the place. It also helped take my mind off my surging emotions. The next thing I knew, two big burly guys in cowboy hats, reeking of cigarette smoke, tobacco chew, whiskey and beer were forcibly seating themselves on either side of me. They both desperately needed a shower and from what I could see as they flicked their tongues at me, a trip to the dentist wouldn't be a waste of time either. Introducing themselves as Big Jim and Scoot, they gave me the standard drunken pick up lines and I told them I was with somebody and to please go away. Suddenly Big Jim seized my arm with a powerful vice grip and jerked me violently toward him.

I sobered up almost instantly as I was inundated from head to toe with paralyzing fear. His rough stubble chin grazed hard against my cheek and his horrid breath was driving me to the point of vomit. Just then I felt Scoot clamp his gorilla-like hand on my thigh and begin moving it slowly up toward my crotch. I could no longer hear what they were saying as all I could hear was my heart echoing like thunder in my ear. With the jukebox blaring and the room crowded with chattering patrons, my faint little voice was virtually inaudible as I shouted to let me go! Just then, Big Jim grabbed the back of my head and tried to force me into a kiss. I struggled with all my might against him as I saw his disgusting mouth open, revealing a grotesque display of rotting teeth and his deformed tongue was coming straight at my face.

I cinched my eyes shut and prayed for the second time in as many days for God to help me. In an instant, I heard the bottle shatter, followed by Big Jim roaring and then I felt a violent scuffle; his grip on my arm and head released. I opened my eyes to see that disgusting tub of now extremely disoriented human blubber being jerked to his feet by an enraged Erica, who towered menacingly over him. She landed a hard right to his chin followed immediately by a lightning fast left to his nose and then planted her knee solidly into his crotch. Groaning like a sick walrus as he tumbled in a daze to the floor, I turned to see Scoot leap up from the chair beside me and charge like a bull at Erica.

"Erica, look out!" I shouted.

Erica heard me just as Scoot got to her and grabbed a handful of her hair, yanking her backward. Acting on pure instinct, I snapped up my crutch that was lying on the floor beside my chair, jumped to my feet and swung my crutch like a baseball bat. Striking Scoot dead center in the back of his head, he tumbled forward and his head collided with Erica's and the two of them crashed on to the table right next to ours. With Scoot's weight pinning her down on the table top, Erica snapped up another beer bottle and smashed him over the head with it; then using her powerful legs to shove him off of her, he stumbled backwards and fell over our table. As Scoot tumbled over our table and on to the floor, I stumbled back a few steps. Scoot growled like an angry bear as he started to sit up. Closing my eyes again, I kicked with all my might and felt my right foot make contact with his head, heard him groan and then his body slump over on to the floor again.