All Comments on 'When We Were Married Ch. 04B'

You sir, write a fine story. Like most on Literotica I look forward to your continuation of this tale.

Thank you very much

Think about it. She FINALLY meets a good guy ... this professor Abbott who is some small way gets debbie to see that the entire fucking universe does NOT revolve around her god damn Cunt Tits and ass.

Even after listening to this good guy ... a True friend.. she walks out the classroom door shaking her tits and ass knowing of course that every body in the whole god damn collgee is thinking ONLY about her ....and her cunt and her huge perfect tits ....and every one is of course talking about HER all the time...

this is just whacko.

The problem is that sure BILL got too involved with work and not enough attention on her on the course of the marriage.

BUT over the past several chapters it is clear that Debbie's values... are really messed up.

Her sex drive seems sooooooooo over powering it is obvious that even if Bill was a multi millionaire and never had to work again for the rest of his life ... debbie still would never be satisfied .

what a fucking nut case.

Bill should have stomped him some more for speaking about his daughter like that! but i'm glad that FINALLY he fucked Doug up! MORE PLEASE SOON.

So many more threads! Thanks

At the start of the Fight scene I did NOT like this attack by Bill on Doug. It was waaaaaayy over the top and totally out of place ... for a District Attorney. But this is ASSUMING the fight was over Debbie the walking Vagina.

of course DQS mis directed us... it was NOT about Debbie and Doug at all but about Kelly and Doug.

Clever. And as a father I can "see" the reason for fight.

But again the words from Doug are CLEARLY and OBVIOUSLY laying the ground reconciliation. You have to be Blind man not to see this.

as I said before that is WHY the previous chapters was SOOOOOO bad .. the Aline Bill relationship was spun... by a catholic Priest no less ... as being EQUIVALENT to what Debbie and Doug did.

which of course it total Bullshit. ( Frankly what is a priest doing giving relationship advice? shouldn't he be out molesting some kid?)

as things stand now if Bill reconnects with the human clitoris it is not going to work .

she is fucking crazy

she has several severe character flaws

and she is angry at everyone and everything

liked it...now there is action and thriller...mafia...wow!, like new Bill, old bill would have listened to Daud's "She still loves" and would be in deep thinking about cheating wife. How ever they ends this is the attitude , Bill should have earlier, its not too late..he is funny and dangerous. keep it up. twist like this instead of Debbie's "oohh aahhh....ur big.." are better and entertaining. Thanx

it's obvious now, that the author didn't really have a big picture of the story before started writing it, so it is just meandering aimlessly, meaninglessly, from one moment to the next, with each chapter focusing on no more than a few hours in the day, in which Debbie hardly gets much done except to bitch about Bill and why another man is not already fucking her... <p>

and Bill?, each and every chapter, short and long, he bitches about him not belonging in Debbie orbit of existence/import... <p>

Dear author, it is a total drag, with, to paraphrase JPB on all of his stories, "no redeeming quality" whatsoever... <p>

I am sure when Debbie goes to see that "real professional" her professional friend had just referred her to, Debbie would SUDDENLY discover her LIFE LONG sluttiness has a basis: Her mother's secret sluttiness and her dad's hypocrtical puritanical nature.... they had ruined Debbie from an early age, and throughout her high school and college years, Debbie --- being in orbits William never belonged --- was juts rebelling against her parents fakery by fucking every men or woman who would fuck Debbie... <p>

Debbie then calls Bill, disrupting him again, and tells him she no longer feels anger, resentment, or even sorrow for her having "left you behind"... Why don't you end this soap, dear author? The writing, indeed, even the story telling itself... it's fine... it's just the subjects are just so unworthy of your time and talents...

I'M BEGINNING TO GET A REAL BAD FEELING ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE TAKING THIS. Where is PAPATOAD when we need him?

zzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ...

It just keeps getting better and better. I am really enjoying this story.

I get the feeling that Debbie has something organic going on in her head, like maybe a brain tumor that has caused her behavior. Just a thought of course, but there are certainly hints in her session with the friend and the referral to a shrink. Maybe it is only some left over trauma, but we will see when the good author decides to tell us. It would make a good scene to have a reconciliation of sorts on Debbie's death bed, great theatre.

Interesting character we met near the end of this chapter. I have a feeling he is going to be used to get rid of the psycho who threatened our hero and his family. Rather hard to believe he really does not know his wife is screwing around with everyone she sees?

Finally, we see just what a scumbag Doug is and I hope his character gets some more bad news in the next few chapters.

So it seems we are being led towards the inevitable conclusion that whatever the insufferable bitch did is Bill's fault after all. Yikes! It has to take 20 chapters to get to that?

DQS1 keeps bringing in one or two new characters every posting. I absolutely love this story but my head is starting to feel the pressure and may explode.

I thought Bill was going to be larger than life but it seems not. I can get wanting to beat Doug up but I would have liked it to just happen and having him plan that fiasco just lowers my opinion of him. That it was about Kelly, I would have thought he would have done more research being a DA.

The thought of that threat from any criminal is really frightening and real. I've got a friend who does just this. He was threatened after a big gang case too. Freaks me out!

Good thing you didn't plot this out before you started releasing it. You can be surprised like the rest of us about how dumb it's getting.

P.S.: Needs more vampires!

Paul even scares the hell out of me and all i did was read the stroy :)

Only in a woman's mind could a little guy that never works out and carries no rep whatsoever for being a 7th degree black belt and teaching classes in various MMA's, or a former lerps or jteam member, suddenly out muscle and out martial art 2 semi pro boxers in close quarter combat. (You weren't describing some quick and early unexpected cheap shots by a little guy in a street fight to level the field, but him really taking the guys out with straight forward brute strength according to Carlos. And Dougie only knew the guy to be a wimp whose wife was easy pickings for all.) But you left out the part where Paul chain smokes too. I saw this once before in a movie starring Brad Pitt as a bareknuckle fighter who could beatup everyone but also never trained and also came to this ablity through some goofy animal linked ability, but he chained smoked too. It was laughable then and now. Only made in Hollywood and for some dizzy broads mind. Must get all his arm power from wacking to the idea of his wife cuckholding him. I'm a big guy and have trained for years so I know the guys to really watch out for are the real little ones that never train and with no musculature but have goofy eyes. The goofy eyes are the key to being "a very dangerous man." No? Why you see it all the time in the NFL, and Pro Boxing and strongman shows where these little guys all make big money off their goofy eye power. Don't you? Oh wait, you never see that. SUCH A SILLY WOMAN'S FANTASY YOU ARE ABLE TO SO EASILY WRITE.

I could of sworn that Kelly and Doug did fool around in the pool, and Doug went after her. Though Kelly didn't help matters by flirting to the Nth Degree with him.

Paul was a shocker, and damn if i think that was a red haring.

Apparently, the "high powers of being" made sure idiots & fags had an equal opportunity to demonstrate their insufficient IQ - remnants to the Lit world. Normally, one could argue to justify their pathetic existence but in their individual cases - neither is justified or minimally excused. What a sad experience to know these pathetic excuses for males exist.

I don't know what it is about Literotica, but it just amazes me how all the critics seem to be able to write so much better, know so much more, have a clearer vision and plot ideas about which way a story should go than the author .......Really, if only the criticism was one tenth as good as this story, we would have some world-class critics. While I will agree that there are a LOT of characters in this story, I find every new chapter to be a treasure to read and I look forward to each one as it is released. I think the author is exceptional and I appreciate the effort and thought it requires to write this well! Thanks for sharing your gift with us! Jim

As I clearly stated early on in this tale, reconciliation will destroy it for me. I realize that not much 'real time' has passed since they split, but they're never going to make like water under the bridge.

What's your opinion now Size 14? Your comments are often wry. I hope you ain't been put off by Mr. minimal contribution above...Mancelt.

being the walking penis that he is. I can't believe the hatred he evokes in me. The guy needs to be cut down to size. He got off way too easy. Too bad. Like he said, "no justice. . .". Oh well. Maybe in another chapter what goes around will come around for the asshole.

This chapter has the same damn problem as most of the other chapters. We're supposed to believe he still loves Debbie, and she still loves him. For God's sake, why? She hasn't said or done a single thing in this story I can recall that would make him or anyone else want to love her. Lust after her, yes, but that's not the same thing. And there's absolutely nothing in how she's portrayed that indicates she has any true, deep love for him either. Sure, she has some superficial feelings for him. For instance, she looks at him in a new way when he gets in shape. But that just shows how superficial she is. She seems exactly like the kind of wife who would stick with him happily enough when times are good, but drop him like a hot potato when times are bad. True love? I don't see it. So when people like Doug talk about them still being in love, it sounds unbelievable.

I think a big problem is the story starts off right when things go pear shaped, so we have little to no idea what the "good times" in their marriage were like. All we see is the bad. But a good author could fix that, for instance by showing Debbie as more than a one-dimensional selfish and vain sex-obsessed bitch.

Blame the husband for turning the slut wife into a cheating whore. It's always the man's fault for marrying the stupid bitch, and god forbid he should have a career that pays well and actually makes him happy. Selfish slut can't share his joy or sense of accomplishment, if she can't be center of attention then she's going to make life miserable. She's fortunate she's pretty with big boobs, otherwise nobody would put up with her shit.

It was a good chapter, but not the best one of the series. This one seemed a bit rushed. Even though I anxiously await each installment I think I would rather wait another day or two and get them prepapred with your usual attention to detail, finesse, and style. As always, thank you for a very good story, and please keep writing!

Still a great story but deviating frm the romance and seems to be spinning into the realm of Novels or non erotica. But best to leave the plot lines in your capable hands

stop trying to get respect for wife,childred ,family,co workers and hubby see what a tramp she has become.she a selfish brat,that whatever happen to her she deserve it.she shit on hubby and kids,when she bring a lover into her home still married to husband.

Sometimes writers lose the passion to develop a story and finish with some narrative and do not follow their passion to finish the story. Excellent writing leads to an excellent story. Isn't that how human commicate their feelings?

I love reading stories, and try to avoid tearing one down, but this one is proving to be every cliche about why I hate amateur authors who don't understand what they are doing.

DQS, its become increasingly clear that you have an ending in mind, and each chapter however you number them, is merely seen as an opportunity to play with the characters while working to insure that you get the planned ending. Even if the characters personalities don't justify the ending. Just about every chapter has one or more moments setting up some Deus ex Machina manuever in the plot.

You should realise that the whole concept of Deus ex Machina is extremely derogatory. It comes from the Greek in the time before Christ. Their playwrights regualrly wrote their plays into impossible situations. What they did to fix the problem was have an actor dressed as a god lowered onto the stage by a system of pulley and levers. The "god" would offer a solution and then be whisked away by the same devide. He was the "god from machine" who saved the bad writing.

This story is full of such moments where a character suddenly has a moment where they devate from any established pattern and performs an action which allows you to try to nudge the plot toward the ending you want.

It makes for horrible writing and a terrible story. Honestly, I only read each chapter to see how many more of these devices you'll be forced to use in your quest to get some "perfect" ending that will probably upset most of the readers. Right now my guess is you are attempting to pull of some "reconcillation at all costs" The only problem is that its called that by readers because its almost always a poorly written and disappointing ending.

You might as well finish this disaster, but consider this practce in the technical aspects of writing and how not to develop a plot. Its already far to broken to be saved.

Sorry, but that's the way I see it.

And you should renumber your chapters. This 3A, 2B, 4A system is a joke. What connects all the chapter 3 entries other than your own need to avoid using real chapter numbers? Chapters 4A and 4B don't have enough continuity to justify their numbering. When the story moves to the next plot point, you change the chapter number completely, you don't just add a new letter to the end.

shit.... I could almost see it coming "reconciliation" zzzzzzzzz

So does Lazyloner. I cannot stop reading this story, but my head is spinning. We were introduced to two new maniacs that seemed to portend a fate worse than death for Bill. There is no doubt the shrink will become yet another character in your envisioned collection of stories with characters floating from one story to another. There are a few problems. Can you live long enough to cover all these characters, and can I last long enough to read them all? The new characters will all have parts, as will last chapter's new guy, Clint, or whatever his name was. Is there any limit to the people we need to remember in here? Now we have some sort of demon with superhuman strength tossed into the mix? Or will he be another good guy with a slut wife? Are they that common in Jacksonville? I will be there this weekend and will look around for some, while keeping a close eye on my own wife, of course! This is evolving into an X-Men sort of story. I like science fiction, but this did not start that way. It reminds me of "From Dusk till Dawn" which I really enjoyed. It began like a criminal caper type of movie and then the vampires appeared. Salma Hayek is a dark haired Debbie! Perhaps Debbie will learn that she, too, is a vampire and that is why she feels so strangely? The writing is superb, but the direction of the entire story is really becoming blurred. I will continue to look for each new chapter.

Sounds like both Bill and Debbie needs to see shrinks!

It should be very interesting to read about Debbie and the shrink. This is a great oppurtunity to lay it all out.

Well Doug at least told Bill that Debbie still loves him. That has to set some more skull time for Bill! It will be fun to read it.

Why was Superman Paul introduced with a hot slut wife?

Can't wait for the next part. I am frustrated I can't get more for my fix.

Thanks for writing!

This chapter is like previous ones - excellent! I find it difficult to single out any one or two chapters as being better or worst then others but, rather, tend to bump all the chapters together as forming an interesting and meaningful story. It was clear early on that Deb needed professional help but nothing was said or done. You can't behave as she has (and does) and not need psychological help. I assume that the doctor she'll be seeing is none other than Dr. Alan Teller, M.D. who has a private practice in addition to servicing as criminal lawyer at the courthouse. He has been introduced to Debbie's story though Bill.

The 2nd fighter between Bill and Doug was expected and so were the results. But what Doug said afterward to Bill is going to tip the scale more in favor of a reconciliation, for example, 'she is still in love with you, Bill.'

But how did Bill get the pierce of misinformation that Doug had sex with Kelly; from BJ who was in the next bedroom and heard by didn't see what was happening in "Debbie's Room" that morning?

In my mind I want to see Bill coupling with Jacksonville's best available gal For Him. Myra seems a ideal candidate for Bill at this point. She is well acquainted with what the state attorney's job entails. As a side note: Myra may actually require a beast reduction to take the pressure from the weight of the breasts off of her neck and back. DQS will probably provide us with a thumbnail history on her if she is now to play a prominent role in the continuing story.

I'm enjoying this story. To bad he didn't get some more payback from Doug. It'd be nice if he can trash his new job opportunity as well. I have to disagree with Doug, though, Debbie is a slut, and braindead as well. She may or may not love her husband, but in the end who cares? She's a viscious, lying, brain dead slut - with severe mental health issues to boot. He'd be better off if the drug dealer did kill her. He'd have to be an idiot to take her back. Even if he does still love her it'll fade with time, time he could be using to find someone worth his time.

This "chapter" left me a little disappointed. It would have been interesting to hear the discussion between BJ and Bill that was referenced in chapter 4A as Bill was disembarking from the ship. What did Doug and Kelly do in the pool? This "chapter" just seemed to be be a saltatorial effort to bring the story nearer to its conclusion and was not a very smooth tranition from 4A.

Unless DQS' biography is fictitious, those people that keep referring to him as Ms. Steele and think he is a woman, you appear to be in error.

To HDK: When you visit us here in Jacksonville, be prepared to be bored. The Christian Right has tamed this city beyond belief. If you are under thirty, the club scene can be rewarding I'm sure, but the kind of bars where you might find some action are almost non-existant. My suggestion, visit Atlanta. Now there is a city that you can learn to love!

I'm sorry, first we have the total destruction of Debbie with the scene with Bill's lawyer were she's revealed as a airhead. Now we have Bill doing a Rambo on Doug, in his office!

On what planet? I stand in awe of the talent, but I've never been one to enjoy soap opera and this one reminds of one of those movies where the clueless dad ends up with rivers of suds three feet deep covering the house.

As kahn suggested, put a fork in it and move on.

Doug assertion after the fight that Debbie still loves Bill is well absurd.

His sole basis for saying that appears to be that ..." well if She threw me (Doug) out and left me...(DOUG)... it can ONLY be because she still loves Bill....."

Of course we KNOW what happend. SOME will say that debbie woke up to the danger that having Doug around her daughter . Some will say that Debbie being obessed with her own fading sexuality is JEALOUS of her daughter.

Maybe it is both. Either way... it doesnt matter... BOTH ideas are alien to Doug's ego.

That does NOT prove Debbie STILL love Bill because Doug and the 18 year old daughter might start fucking.

as a brillant smart district attorney there is NO way that BILL can agree for 1 second that Debbie still loves Bill. It would be totally inconsistent and very cliche for Bill to make that sort of leap of faith.

This story was over back when it was still good, now it is not. With each chapter it gets to be less and less believable

Sigh.

Please don't tell us you're setting up circumstances for Bill & Debbie to slowly get back together....NO NO NO!!!

Also, all of a sudden Bill is looking at women like a sex hound...come on!!

The death threats to Bills' family and Bill has mob connections...just how many versions of this story are you going to print...Debbie was a piece of unfaithful work, never tried to talk to Bill and explain her changing attitude, Bill was a workaholic and didn't pay attention...now, he met a real woman, falls in love with her and two paragraphs later you have him cooly referring to Aline as an experience past?...and...Bill checking out the chicks.

So, (and how long between chapters) when does the divorce become final, Debbie hooks up with Professor Abbott and Bill...Aline?

Don't RUIN a decent story......

.

So I can identify all the characters. You have introduced enough new secondary characters and possible storylines. FOCUS, it's time to work on this story. You really should have drafted an outline before you started. <P>

I'm over sixty; I figure I have to live at least another 10 years to see this story through to its conclusion. Thank God, I know where this is going. Debbie will go to dinner with Abbot and end up nursing on his cock like a baby calf with its mother. She will get a job with the public defender's office and proceed to fuck her way through the staff. Professional counseling will get to the root of her problem. She will have a moment of clarity and be cured. She will tell Bill she lied when she said she didn't love him. He will take her back in July 2019. <P>

DQS you seem like a smart feller, but if you want reconciliation to work. You have to ease up on Debbie. However, I think it's probably too late for that already. So go ahead and have her pull a gangbang or two. <P>

Bill and Doug will probably go have a drink after Bill’s cut man fixes both of them. They will bond and Doug will tell him again he is going to fuck Kelly. <P>

I know you are enjoying the hell out of all this attention. I've been enabling you like all the other readers on this site. No more, I'm out of here

I wondered about the boxing lessons and time in the gym so many chapters ago. Now we have been given a taste, but just a taste I think, of the why. I can see what DQS alluded to about his intent for 4B to be much longer, I think he mentioned twice as long. There is an incomplete here; to stay with the university metaphor, the term paper and final exam aren't in and graded yet.

Maitland is staring into some dark souls in this chapter, some dark parts of his own basically very noble soul included, and setting up conflicts that are sure to have impact on the story. It seems as though Debbie is also continuing her introspection. In spite of the painting of Debbie as Bitch and Bill as troubled Saint, it is clear both are very real human beings who have great strengths and great flaws. It is also quite clear that long term love does not die, certainly not of the simple flesh wounds that have been dealt to this point.

Bill and Debbie may continue to just drift apart as couples sometimes do, or they may find a tumultuous coexistance. That is for DQS to tell; I'll wait for the rest of 4B and then some to see where it is going.

"she walks out the classroom door shaking her tits and ass knowing of course that every body in the whole god damn collgee is thinking ONLY about her ....and her cunt and her huge perfect tits ....and every one is of course talking about HER all the time..."

`

EITHER that OR Debbie has a wicked sense of humor. She's seen most every swinging dick at UNF oogle her SOOOO she jerks their chain a bit by swinging her ass and jiggling her tits and giving her new professor friend some 'ups' with his students. How do we know she was putting them on? She stopped doing it as soon as she was past them. And why not jerk their chain if she wants to? After all, she’s a short-timer at UNF. Nothing to lose. She was thumbing her nose at UNF for firing her.

`

Debbie is a tenured professor at UNF but unfortunately she is also a beautiful and voluptuous woman. I'd think that Debbie might be getting a little tired of the male species -- with it's eternal attention on the female breast and derriere. I know I get tired of all the attention on my size 14 __. ;-)

Debbie will know about Bill beating Douge, she will goto Bill," You Bastard you hit him, He has nothing to do with us, you should be pissed at me not him."

Bill looked at Carlos and then ar Debbie and then started to leabe the room, "Debbie I dont hit woman, But...Carlos beat her, and throw her out of office."

Debbie : What? BIll I did not mean to...Ahh...

And she fell onto floor, with one punch, Carlos trew her out of office. After hour later Bill recieved a call from BJ.."Dad what did you do to mom, you are not nice guy..I dont want to see you ever...."

Bill: BJ where are you?

BJ : In hostpitol why do you care, mom is in ICU, dont come, we dont need you, anymore....good bye..."

BIll looking at carlos : Carlos goto hospital, beat the shit out of BJ put him in ICU, if Kell is there give her some too. I dont want any more calll from them, make sure they are not able to dial number.

Carlos left te office.

Week later Bill left the town with Myra. Debbie and her brats live in same town, they are laughing strocks in town, funniest family, they dont go out, Debbie never recoverd from damage on her face, she has funnies face in town. BJ always remain afraid, he piss everytime someone approches him, Kelly is professional slut now, she did not need beating, When Carlos went to beat her she used her mother's tech "Negotiate without letting them you are slut" but she winded up being professional.

Bill lives happily with his small family, he has 4 yrs old son Super BIll Junior, whenever they come to town he beat the shit out of BJ. last time When BJ saw Super Bj coming in house he tried to run to his room and lock, but SBJ was too fast for him, and stopped him before ducking, he gave punch in his stomach, BJ fell onto floor, he tried to getup, SBJ jit him again....bla..blah...blah...

make sense?

Sorry I tried to write more stupid but could not write more than this chapter. Will try next time. Still learning from DQS1.

I wish the noble intentions, and skillful writing of DQS in chapter 4B yielded a brilliant result, but they did not. IMHO, both Bill and Debbie are completely lost without a road map. I find it very difficult to imagine how adding a new character in the form of Paul, (a very short in stature, very unrealistic super human, with an exceptionally attractive slut wife, whom Paul is unaware is a slut) could add anything, other than prolonging what has now become a very long drawn out soap opera mellow-drama with the central character, a professional, his wife, and two children whom, after the last few chapters, I have come to not give a tinkers damn about.

Bill doesn’t know what to do with himself; he fidgets and cannot settle into a stance to allow him to take control and make some very much needed decisions. This is not the body language of a leading, very effective, prosecutor in a personal crisis, but of a comic wall-mart greeter unsure of himself in a dramatic crisis of faith.

Several (IMHO), of the unneeded, yet added characters are overwritten in word count and underwritten in content.

Sorry DSQ, but IMHO, you have a wonderful talent for putting words together, but your story telling leaves more than a little wanting.

Not your best work, I think you might be rushing it a bit. You might consider not introducing any more new characters and just work with what you have. At the risk of pissing off everyone, I think maybe you should slow down even possibly take a break. <P>

I enjoyed the fight scene, Doug need a good ass kicking. I had to suspend disbelief though, no way could he have absorbed the punishment he took in the first few minutes and continued the fight. It did make for good drama though.

but now you start out to act like a journalist of a cheap gutter paper that tries to sell with violance and sex. next step is what? kind of like world war 4 where any insane man kills and rapes just for fun ?

way to much violance and outrages sex or at least insane sex-drive in this story. professors from universities acting like slum-kids who don't no anything else (I'm sorry for the comparison with poor people who have to live in slum but I guess you know what I mean) ? crown attorneys who instead of taking asshole infront of a jury for trying to fuck underage kids take everything in there own hand ?

what are you trying to tell us ? that where you live everybody is fucked up completly? no brain (put it in the drawer before you leave work ?) no decency, no respect is to expect from a human beeing ?

this story was nice to read, eventhough always a bit to tense from the beginning. but with this chapter you clearly went overboard all the way.

good writing does not mean anything if the content gets shitty.

Chapter 04A ends with —

“Hi, Dad?”

“Hey, BJ…what’s happening?”

Are we missing something? Exchange of “dialogs” between Bill Sr and Bill Jr? BJ informing Bill what all happened when he was on Bonne Chance…I was expecting chapter 04B to pick up from there, instead it starts with a scene that shows that Bill — Angel Of Death — do have a funny bone in him.

*-*-*

I remember a story by JBP. It was Shawna…something (I don’t remember the name) there the wife sleeps around, husband finds another woman — he too sleeps around, wife finds a “decent” man they have sex every possible way human beings can. Then one night both husband and wife bump into each other with their “dates”. Wife talks about “fate” and all…that they were meant to meet “again” she leaves with her date and both husband and wife have a “make-up” sex and they get back together.

I’m afraid this story is going on a similar track. Debbie has now found a “decent” guy — Clint Abbot, Bill, I think will get hook up with Myra. I’ll be more than happy if I’m proved wrong.

*-*-*

As a reader who has followed this story so far — I’m only interested to know about Debbie and Bill Maitland and their family. Who cares about macho man Paul Donnaly and his slut of a wife!

Also, there’s an interesting fact about WWWM — there’s not a single couple that has a “perfect” marriage.

Debbie – Bill Maitland — Marriage’s almost over.

Lew – Mona — The Last Goodbye.

Aline – Philippe

President Myers – his wife

Clint Abbot – Elise

Paul Donnaly – his wife and there are other “guest characters”

*-*-*

When We Were Married is a wonderful story, and to say it is getting boring will be slang. But it sure is loosing its charm especially after chapter 3D. The only good thing that happened in this chapter was Bill kicking Dougie’s ass. Let’s hope that in the next chapter Debbie gather’s her thoughts and act like a “mature” person *SIGH* I hope she does…

P.S — Byeeee Douggiee

~Kelly~

I just want to add one thing. I love retribution and reconciliation type stories. If I can only have one, I’ll take retribution every time. I loved seeing Dougie getting his ass kicked.

YOU dont get IT. and you never will. I dont know maybe you are simply nable to hold two thoughts in your head at the same time???

yeah I get that she was shaking and flaunting possible for the last time. and if debbie was a Normal woman I would have No problem with that.

but this is NOT close to a Normal situation and YOU never ever get that.

from the story you NEVER see debbie into teaching and has seem to have NO intellectual NON sexual side to her at all. IF DEBBIE HAD NO TITS SHE WOULD HAVE NO PERSONALITY.

you seem to be saying that debbie shaking it is somehow something NEW or different for her. She has been "shaking it" for YEARS at the college. Debbie has been LIVING for Gossip... for every man looking at her... and every woman gossiping about her .

but you dont see that do you? her out of control sex drive has cost her a LOT. Professor Abbot speaks good common sense to her....

saying " you need to slow down and rebuild your life...." (paraphrasing here)

she nods thoughtfully..... is amazed at his insight ..... then goes out and does EXACTLY what she has been doing for the last 10 + years.

Harry, I try to be clear in my writing. There is no hidden meaning. Nothing there that I am implying. It's all straight up. No need to try and figure what you think I "seem" to be saying.

`

You accurately point out that we don't get to see (read) Debbie in classrooms or other situations. We do know that she is a tenured professor at a mid-major university after a successful career in business. You don't get that shaking your ass and tits even though it does happen a lot on LW stories -- just like 12" dicks, 36EE tits and size 14 shoes.

Here's how it's going down: Bill gets a PI to track Donnally's wife and gets the evidence to Paul who goes crazy, kills his wife and gets sent to jail. Bill then "arranges" for Paul to be put in the same prison as Deavon and somehow altered photos of Deavon and Paul's wife get spread around - bye bye Deavon.

Bill realizes his lost his bearings and quits as DA. He turns down a private sector job (after his buddies wife [Mona?] screws him silly trying to entice him to partner up) and decides to teach instead, accepting an offer out of state.

Time goes by and who should turn up at his school looking to teach business - oh yeah.

Did I miss something, I thought she wasn't tennured.

Every chapter just hooks me in more and I cannot believe it. This is one of my all time favorite series on here. I may be anon, but I have followed many story series on here and this is by far one of the best.

I love it! (my moronic comment for the day.)

But I find that the commentaries are even more interesting than the

stories! Reading them through one gets the impression that half of the commentators think it is excellent and the other half say it is boring, stupid, or unreal. So if half voted 5 and half voted 1 the average score would be 3.0.

Is it? No! It is at the moment 4.48. How could we reach a score like that? Well if 50% voted 5 , 48% voted 4, while 2% voted 3, then the average would be 4.48. But many of those commentaries sound 1 ish which means that more than half of the readers who voted, gave it a 5.

Come on guys, this is a good story!

My bet is that Bill is dead in the end. He gets killed by the gang bangers and Debbie becomes the grieving & misunderstood widow. This works for her until Aline (and Bill's co-workers) come to set the record straight and exposes Debbie as the self centered slut she really is. Debbie ends up alone regretting her foolish behavior and the marriage she threw away. Her looks will eventually fade but her sorrow will not.

Bill is no saint but the part about fighting with Doug really doesn't fit with what he stands for and believes in, but I do like his character. Debbie has no redeeming qualities except for her looks, I have known women like her in my time and this doesn't help me like her character one bit. A pretty exterior with absolutely nothing inside.

Thanks to DQS for this story so far, It keeps me coming here every day to check for another installment.

=^..^=

The answer to the question - Is/was Debbie a tenured faculty member at UNF. The answer is NO; she is/was an Assistant Professor of Business without tenure.

Some commenters say that Bill could not have fought as well as he did in Fight 2 with Doug. Remember that Bill's father instilled a feeling of pride in Bill as a boy and a sense of doing what is right. Moreover, recall that at the frat house the night he saved Debbie from further harm by drunken, horny fart guys, he was fighting off a pretty sizable bunch of frat brothers some of which were football players. I remember reading that one frat boy indicated to the police later that they could not keep Bill down. He kept getting up to fight again, and again. Bill will do what is right, this as his boss at the courthouse, Dallas Edwards, as stated. The 2nd Bill/Doug Fight was, in my view, also the right thing for Bill. He was prepared for this fight from training at Carlo's boxing studio and at Hurly's gym. I would have predicted the second fight to be a draw or a mild win for Bil, as it tuned out to be.

I've been following this since the first submission, and I am as hooked as everyone else. I want to first of all say you have done a great job, as evidenced by the passion of the commentators.

I have two comments. First, I agree with what appears to be a common sentiment that this chapter was incomplete. You said in your comment on 4A that this was half a chapter, and it ended up feeling like half a chapter. Take your time, polish it, sleep on it before you submit.

My second comment (and trust me, I have many more, but I want to keep this a reasonably-sized comment and this is one suggestion/request I haven't noticed made) is a somewhat baser one. You have made Debbie largely a sex object. She is supposedly the hottest MILF in northern Florida, loves sex, and wants it constantly. And yet, after tens of thousands of words of story, there's never been a real sex scene with her. The shower scene in Ch.1 doesn't really work, since it was told from Bill's perspective, and was mostly about his emotions. The closest I can think of is the scene where we enter her bedroom as Doug is cumming inside her (which was hot enough that I am sure you could make a real sex scene with her amazing).

You are a great writer, and part of the reason so many people are reading and commenting is how sexually desirable you have made her. This is a sex story site, lets see her having sex! Please?

Again, great job. I am as much on the edge of my seat as everyone else is.

Good story, but...you have a L O N G way to go to rehabilitate Debbie. She needs some real growing up. Bill has grown and changed a lot, but Debbie still still seems to think that she is the center of the world--and that Bill is the world's arm pit. Look forward to future chapters. Keep 'em commin'

The Cobbler

Professor bartolo please read the authors notes at the begining of chapter 4a. Debbie is in fact an Associate Professor and tenure I assume comes with the position with appropriate years of service.

DQS, this chapter is, in my mind, one of the most puzzling of all chapters. There are lots of things going on and gives the story sort of an omnidirectional path. Not being as astute as some of the other commentors, I elect to make no comment.

This, so far is a fine novel and I thank you for your time and effort and also for sharing it with us.

I would like to give a redneck opinon. When your adversary is standing over you and you are on the floor and can't get up that is an old fashion ass whipping not a Mexican Stand Off.

Stand off, I don't think so. Doug had a broken nose and a couple broken ribs, a good old fashioned ass kicking.

Jerry in Washington State, USA - I haven't read many of your other readers' comments because you get so much feedback, so I may be repeating comments other readers have already posted. First, this post. Bill using brass knuckles didn't feel right to me, but I could understand him trying to even up the fight plus Bill being so pissed about his daughter. I'm surprised Bill didn't lose total control and kill the guy or have him killed. I am enjoying that Bill is getting some female attention. I'm not sure where you're going with Debbie seeking psychiatric help but I'm interested in seeing what happens. Maybe I should reread the early chapters before making this comment, but it seems that Debbie has been cheating on Bill from very early in his marriage, long before he took this Assistant DA job. In my definition of unfaithful, she was unfaithful letting and even encouraging all these men to hump her on the dance floor and grab her tits and ass. So I have no liking or pity for her situation. Bill made a major mistake putting his job before wife and family, but he doesn't deserve the unfaithful wife she's been almost his entire marriage.

Shit! Tell me it isn't so! You've made Debbie feel real guilt, all but wish for a way back to to Bill (she thinks she's burned too many bridges), seek help, and now, Dear God, what's next? She's going to start really thinking about a way back, isn't she? And Bill, he hates Debbie so much 'cause he loooovvvves her, and she's on his mind all the time, he's still fighting battles over her (ostensibly over his daughter, but we know better), and he feels guilty over getting out of shape, neglecting his wife and pushing her into Doug's, umm, arms, err, well, OK, PENIS.

So! Admit it! You are going to do it. You ARE going to bring them back together!

Don't! Do Not!

Bill has to TRIUMPH over his cheating wife, not come to some saccharine detente with her.

He has to WINNNNNN!

Just my 2 cents.

Good story, though.

Especially if ends the right way ... LOL.

Semper XY, man!

DQS, if this is meandering, meander all you want. GaryAPB had what, 23? (or thereabouts) chapters and did not have as many characters. Keep on keeping on, we'll keep on reading on. Still five stars, despite the critics. I have never enjoyed the comments more, either.

I'm surprised no one (to my recollection) has speculated that this 'office affair' was contrived. Certainly Dallas' wife would not tolerate the real deal.. This is a farce (w/ Mrs. Edwards in on it & consenting).

Of course Bill would not attack Doug to defend Debbie's honor (that would be humor/satire category). He would go off half cocked to attack Doug for having sex w/ his daughter, though.

I guess 4A was so terrific, it is very hard to top it with another chapter. While the writing was good, there were more mistakes in this section. I think our main characters are becoming less sympathetic. Bill's move against Doug does not prove anything. Anyone can beat anyone else with a weapon, and brass knuckles qualify in my book.

Even if Doug practices boxing at the gym several times a week (and he certainly could not have had the time, considering he was fucking Debbie every minute he was not at work), he is not as young nor as tough as the boxer he once was. And I agree with another comment -- Doug could not have gotten up, let alone put up a fight, after the blows he absorbed at the start.

Our short, very fast martial artist (who probably is Aikido master based on his moves), would still have difficulty handling a trained fighter (Ernesto) who is much larger in size. Size is a significant advantage, as anyone who has ever been in a fight knows. That's why there are weight divisions, for boxing, karate, judo, you name it.

It does not mean a true expert can't take down someone larger, but it's definitely harder than defeating someone your size. Despite this lack of realism (at least from my perspective, and I've studies martial arts for a long time, so I think mine is an educated opinion), I'm enjoying the story and I must admit, often looking/searching the LW category for the next episode. Thanks for writing.

P.S. My response would have been a bit different in dealing with the dog-shit druggie who threatened my family. One possible approach would be to nonchalantly tell him that the wife and I are divorcing, and I now hate her for cheating on me, so he cannot hurt me by hurting her (this might at least protect her to an extent; he won't waste time by attacking someone whom I no longer love). But I would look him in the eye and tell him that attacking my children will result in so severe a punishment for those responsible, they will wish they had never been born.

Revenge attacks on law enforcement and/or their family do happen occasionally, but the members of law enforcement are in some ways just like a gang, although they have badges. Most bad ass crooks know this -- messing with an officer's family will bring down the whole fury of the brother cops and the officer victim will have an alibi sure as rain. That's why most such threats are empty -- acting on them is not profitable, and most druggies want profit, not a personal war with the police.

Coincidence or just plain spooky.

Anyway, if you have a opponent who has 8 inches in height, 6 inches in reach and outweighs you be 50 pounds, YEAH use the brass knucks.

to quite a few readers which I can understand because it has been their dream since Bill started having the boxing lessons and working out at the gym. However is it just me, who thinks the way it happened was absolutely unbelievable? Let’s see: In the middle of the business day a top ranked state prosecutor brakes in someone’s office accompanied by 2 accomplices and starts beating up on this person in front of a witness (the PA)? Come on, give me a break!

This could happen only if the violator (Bill) has a major head case….even though so far we haven’t had any indication about that. He did it once a few months ago and back then he had a reason (and a good excuse) – realizing his wife had fallen out of love with him and his marriage of 18 years was going under, so he must have been out of his mind. Second time - hell no! This is definitely not the “modus operandi” of a person who has been successful in so many court battles or may be he deliberately wants to commit a “professional suicide”, who knows? Next question for what reason he did that?

A phone call from his teenage son who heard something but had seen nothing. Bill didn’t bother to call Kelly or his wife so I’m asking is this the way he does his prosecutor’s job

(not talking to witnesses and not seeking to proof the rumors he have heard)? So far I have been strictly on his side however I’m not sure about that any more.

Another point: What did he (Bill) achieved by the fistfight in Doug’s office? If you ask me - nothing! If he wanted to re-claim his lost territory (Debbie) he must have done that

one-on-one and without using brass knuckles. If he wanted to punish Doug and interrogate him about what eventually he did to Kelly – there would have been a lot more discreet and “safety” ways and places to do that. So all that is “A lot ado about nothing”

(except for risking his career). Actually I’m quite curious to find out what he’s going to tell his boss about his new “ID picture” 

Lastly: I’ve been following this story with great interest since the 1st chapter came out however it has slowed down a lot. Someone posted that last chapter had 4.5 pages but covered less than 44 hours and another poster suggested it may take us to 2019 to see the end. Having in mind 4B covers 2 hrs 45 min in ~ 3 pages (I feel like I’m reading a big corporation CEO’s personal time table), I say 2019 is a very optimistic forecast. I thought it was a story about Bull & Debbie relationship and marriage and the turnovers they had taken. Now I’m not sure anymore. They do everything but talk to themselves even about important matters (for instance about Doug seducing Kelly or whatever is the truth there). I personally believe good parents must put their kid’s interests above their own ones no matter what their relationship is at a given time. So we see they talk to everyone else but do not make any attempt to contact each other and see where they stay at the moment? One would ask “Why should they do that”? My answer is – then why anytime Debbie & Bill are about to do something they always asked themselves about “how their respective (ex)partners would have reacted or what they would have said? If they are through – that’s OK, just give us a closure. If they are going to have something together – move the story in that way, please. In reality (as many folks have noticed) we see a lot of new characters that come and go but they don’t contribute to the main story line (in case I still know what it is). I will also add that at this stage we are still “picking up fruits” from the first few chapters where the real action and development took place. It has been “adding some padding stuff” since then i.e. story has been getting too wide and diluted. Let’s clarify though – I’m complaint about losing the focus, not about the actual story length.

The author changes Debbie's title in the story. Sometimes she's an assistant professor and other times an associate professor. There is a difference with a distinction between the two. Attaining associate professorship with tenure is one of the great challenges in academia. I went though it when I was in my 30's. Remaining an assistant professor can be an end point.

I do not believe that Debbie possesses the academic credentials for being awarded an associate professorship at an established universities like UNF. 1) She does not appear to be a recognized leader in an area of business management (her field of interest according to Doug). 2) If she attends a national or international meeting on "business Management" she would probably not be sought out for her opinions as an authority in her area of expertise. 3) She does not have an active program that, for example, investigates different aspects of business management, and she probably lacks major publications on the subject appearing in peer reviewed journals. 4) While she has a men-tee (spelling?), Doug, she has no graduate students or other colleagues (besides Doug) studying with her in her area of interest, for example, improving methods of business management. Her research colleagues could be at UNF or elsewhere in the country or internationally. I am not in the field of business, and I know little about business management. I'm an neurobiology in my research and a teacher of neuroscienists and medical students. But no, Victoriangent, Debbie is not an associate professor in a true sense, though DQS sometimes does suggests she is. I think she would now do better, having had previous experience in private business, if she would go back to that, perhaps pursuing the potential opening recommended by President Myers. She'll be okay financially. She will also have her retirement money and probably she has a 403B account (academia's equivalent to a 401K) at a financial institution. Thank you for your comment. It really is greatly appreciated.

In broken marriages both sides lose except for those that have lasted very short and have no children and property involved (however they are very, very few). After 18 years of marriage plus some extra time for dating and courting what you can have to triumph over? Over the fact you haven’t been smart enough to find a good husband/wife or because you haven’t been wise enough to keep him/her at home? It always takes two to tango as Bill realizes their broken marriage isn’t just Debbie’s fault (don’t get me wrong I’m not advocating her actions). If one wants to triumph over his/her wife/husband of 18+ years that means he/she shouldn’t have gotten married to begin with or simply he/she shouldn't have waited that long (this only is in case he/she isn’t very stupid) :-0

I’ve just posted what I think about this 2nd fistfight but I haven’t said anything regarding its outcome. IMHO the only real thing about it is exactly who stayed on top. Do you know why? Not because Bill’s inherited pride or his natural physical endurance. It is not even the gym workouts and boxing lessons he has been taking for the last 3-4 months (no matter how intensive they could have been). You see these factors are important when the fight is close so they can become a tie-breaker however in our case it doesn’t even come close. Let’s see: Doug is 12-13 years younger and has been in shape. He is at least 6-7” taller (big advantage in boxing) and over-weights Bill by 30-40 lbs (mostly by muscles).

He has years of boxing experience - both practices and real fights. On the other hand Bill has never been in sports (al least it hasn’t been indicated in the story), he is over weight for his height (he’s still over the mark after all training and workouts) and lastly he has been doing that only for the last 3-4 months. For a comparison - these few months means as much as if you have to compare the writing of a 2nd grader to the one of a college graduate.

The correct answer is: Bill’s won because he had 2 decisive factors on his side – catching his opponent on surprise (by attacking him in the middle of the day in his own office before he had a chance to see what was coming) and ….the brass knuckles. Even with these 2 on his side it didn’t come easily. Believe me - after you got hit by brass knuckles straight in the face you are about half of the fighter you were a second before that.

This is from someone who had been using boxing gloves on a regular basis for 8 years and as a result of that got a crooked nose and numbers of scars on his eye-brows.

:-)

Author's note: ..."Another glitch is that Debbie is an Associate, not Assistant Professor at UNF." This author's note was 'well hidden' at the top of page 1, Chap. 4A. This info was first noted on page 1, paragraph 5, Chap. 1A.

`

Note to Anon.: Associate Professors are tenured. You say you thought she wasn't tenured. Are you reading the story or just "having thoughts" about it? Either way is OK.

People... after painstaking research and countless hours of analysis... (not to mention, my magic 8 ball and Ouiji board), I think I have come up with the answers that all of us have been desperately searching for ! ! !

Now, everybody sit down and pay attention... now... hold on to your seats... Rrrreeeaadddyyy... what for iiiiittttt... THERE IS NO Size14shoe ! ! !

I take your shocked silence as respect for my deductive reasoning. I am sure that there is still a small sliver of skeptics out there, and or a slight bit of doubt hiding in the back of a few of your minds. NEVER FEAR ! ! ! I shall explain and remove all doubt.

Harry, has spent years on these comment boards, he has taken on all comers and vanquished all foes. Like all superheros, Harry needs an adversary, an archenemy, someone to match wits with and fight the good fight. With no real competition, Harry has come up with the only answer he could... HARRY IS Size14shoe ! ! !

Those of you who have gasped too hard and are starting to hyperventilate, I have come prepared and have a stack of paper bags to breath into. Come up and get one, but do it quietly, so as not to distract the others from my oratory.

Now that the truth is revealed, there is only one more question to answer. Does Harry know that he is Size14shoe? There is doubt, even amongst myself and my research team... okayokayokay... maybe not a 'team', just one other... my loyal assistant and pet rock, Mortimer. With this raging debate threatening to destroy all of our collaborative efforts. We have decided to present both schools of thought. (Mortimer has been pissed at me and has not spoken to me for 3 days, so to keep the peace you get to hear his stupid idea!) Mortimer has deduced that Harry is not only aware of his Size14shoe persona, and uses it to hone his skills, but also to have a good laugh at all of us who watch and even contribute to their debates. (Mortimer... you are one truly cynical bastard!)

I, on the other hand, believe that Harry has no idea that Size14shoe is inside him. A true Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, or Martin and Lewis, or Lone Ranger and Tonto, or even Shari and Lambchop ! (you younger readers, google it if you doubt my reasoning, you will be shocked and appalled.) I believe that the true fighting spirit, can do attitude inside Harry, has split and developed into a separate and worthy opponent for our intrepid hero. We mere mortals... yes even genius little old me, get to bear witness to the titanic and eternal struggle of good versus evil displayed before us on these pages.

Now that the veil has been parted for you, remember, mums the word... aware or not we must not let Harry know that we know ! Huh? Excuse me for one moment, please. (Mortimer... shut the hell up! I'm trying to type here... What? Hell no!!! Because its my computer!!! Well screw you, you glacial reject!!!) Pardon me for his interruption and crude language, I better go, this could take awhile.

Thanks again DQS1

Gus

P.S.

For the doubters and the crude commentators... remember... humor is the one thing that can keep us sane in this world. Hell... who does not believe that God is holding his sides and laughing at our expressions every time one of us stupid humans sees a platypus for the first time!

This 'seems' to be the general opinion of most commentary. Harry 'seems' to say this 2 or 3 times in comments after every chapter. Debbie has fucked 2 men in the last 20 years -- Bill and now Doug. Debbie kicked Doug to the curb because of the danger to her daughter, Kelly. Not only is she newly separated from her husband but also from her lover.

`

Debbie is experiencing what most newly separated women experience after separating from a husband of many (17) years. She is pissed at Bill for ignoring her, she is lonely, and at almost 40 years old, she could be in an identity crisis. It happens a lot. Her doctor wants her to see a therapist.

`

Sure, she likes to fuck. So do I. She likes to be around interesting people. So do I. She enjoys slow dancing with attractive members of the opposite sex. So do I. She seemed to enjoy Doug's big dick. I enjoy a big set of tits and a tight pussy. Until Debbie said, "When we were married..." and Bill picked up on something, her only problem with Bill was he was fat and out of shape. She was pissed that he had lost his stamina in bed. That may seem shallow but I can get it. I lost sexual interest in my wife when she let herself balloon up to 240 pounds. So I'm shallow too, I guess.

`

Debbie is an Associate Professor at a Mid-Major university after a good career in business. She will have zero problem getting another job. What's to rehabilitate besides Bill's gut and his interest in a very good looking, well built woman?

Bill is NOT Rambo, or a member of the Hells Angels "organization" who's known to have been in prison now and then over the years, for assult to drug possession, to possibly even murder. <p>

The fuckin' wimp --- despite his "training" at Carlos's gym --- is one of the ASSISTANT STATE ATTORNEYS in the city of Jacksonville, Florida.... NOT of "Gotham City," okay? He is an "officer of the court" of Florida and of the US... <p>

It is obvious I have never been to Jacksonville, or for thta matter, to Florida... but I would presume STATE officials don't go doing Dirty Harry-ing and Rambo-ing with the boyfriends of their whoring wives, IN PUBLIC, multiple times, and return to work and put on dark, deep lipstick, borrowed from Myra the secretary, and waltz into the BOSS --- the STATE ATTORNEY's --- office and give him a big kiss on the lips ("without tongue, of course.") <p>

When you are an official of the court, of the state of Florida, or any other state in the Union.... you don't go breaking nose and ribs, acting like FANS from Literotica land wants their heroes to do..... simply because your wife and daughter, under the wifey's care, are sucking the dick of the same man --- consecutively, not simultaneously --- in your former residence. <p>

Lest authors, even Literotica authors, forget: <p>

Writing FICTION is to make the UNREAL as real as you humanly can. If you want to write about a man or woman of Bill Maitland's career profession constantly fighting in public (or even in private, in secrete "societies") and NOT have to face the MUSIC, you go writing Science Fiction, Comics, or some other genre where anyone can walk to walls, or go through space and time, by snapping the fingers, or other shit like that.

Again, I know Literotica's fans (especially those who like Loving Wives) are so eager to find one hero/man who would kick the shit out of the men who have been NOT ONLY fucking his slut wife...but also making her denying him sex, and even make him "clean" her dirty parts, UNKNOWN and KNOWN, to him after she comes back from out outings.... I know that... and I know they are depressed and angry!, since 8 out of 10 Loving Wives writers write such nonsense all the time... <p>

And, hell, I myself have no problem with Rambo heros... But, again, the CHARACTER/hero must be the APPROPRIATE kind... I have no problem, again, if the hero/husband of the story is a known Hells Angels type character; some sort of an "agent" of some lose organization we, the audience, aren't being totally privy to knowing with certainty what the fuck he's really doing, other than what he says he is doing, etc. <p>

I have no problem with that. And I have no problem with a wife character, like Debbie, who is fucking every men and women she finds interesting, or who find her interesting, a wife who causes her teenage daughter to walk into her mother's bedroom, having having had sex with Debbie, and started sucking off Doug.... But she, Debbie, just CAN NOT BE AN ASSOCIATE professor of a major STATE university, okay?! LOLLLL Make her a simpleton housewife, or an escorte living a double life, or some Russian secret agent, or something MORE BELIEVABLE... <p>

Again, the goal to writing good fiction is to stretch credility but still stay within bounds of believability. You are not writing about a period after WWIII or building "star drive" and sailing to our closest neighboring sun system, Alfa Centauri... you're talking about characters living in JACKENSONVILLE, Florida, working at the STATE ATTORNEY's office, working every HOUR of the work day, planning prosecutorial activities, arguing in front of judges, etc., for crying outloud.......

You must be doing something right. This was a head spinning chapter or half or third of a chapter. I think Doug got off easy, But I'm still loving it. Thanks for all your amazing work.

Doug might of been chasing Debbie but she is the one who let him catch her. As for Kelly he was a sleep when she started and pushed her away when he knew who was blowing him. It does take two to tango but al least he tried to do right.

I have since started just naming the next chapter 1 2 3 4 5 etc. Now i just save as after date you post them . Next chapter will be numbered (after 8 3 2010) would have been a hell of a lot better Daniel, if you had just numbered the chapters like most other authors....

Professor, I don't know whether you are in denial or what. The FACT that the author has asserted that Debbie is an Associate and not an assistant is undisputeable.

Now this statement does not deny you the right to question her qualification or even to question as to how she gained that status. But all that is irrelevant to the fact she is an Associate professor.

Shoe, explain to me "well hidden". The first paragraph of a new chapter, clearly says "authors notes" which clarifies and corrects some errors the author feels he committed. If you feel this was "well hidden", I wonder what else in the story you have commented so freely on was well hidden from you.

Reading the presentation in its entirety is elementary to reading and comprehension. Try it sometime.

Stop being so critical of the man's story. Most of you couldn't put 2 sentences together to make a decent story. All you can do is tare down another mans work!!!! What's the matter jealous because he can write and you can't? IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE STORY DON'T READ IT.

BTW when do we get the second half of this chapter?

Yes you are right, about what you said about What Debbie wanting to do, and you said you would have wanting to do same, as same goes for everyone, but would you really do it, would you humiliate you spouse in public like Debbie did to Bill, will you act highly even after you are at fault, will you choose someone else over your spouse, while he/she is beaten. Size14 you definitly would do that? I guess so, that is why I does not matter what you think, No one is pisssed at Debbie because she wanted to have sex with others. or she wanted out of marriage, no matter what are the reason, (neglecting, bore-dum), you cant keep someone in relation against their will, she said she does not love bill anymore, nothing matters, if she doed her lost if she does not realise at time, but you cant be in relation after waht was said. Debbie is at fault because the way she treated Bill. If somehow if lost interest in my wife because she is FAT or became UGLY, (which I dont think are factors if you really someone, deciding factors to live with some are personilty, not physical appearence which has to change someday, if not now, then later), I WILL never treat her like Debbie treated Bill, if she came to fight for me, and I would be with her just for sake of all the time we spend (which was 18 yrs in this story), be with her, even if I had decided to leave her, I will be with her, not yelling at her, filing restraining order on her, making fun of her to other women, talking about her loose pussy or small tits, or her grown belly. for christ sake she would be mother of my kids. I had to be insane or really bad person to such a thing. Doing so Debbie proved she is not a good person, and about being slut, Yes she is, you dont need to confirm that, some may find it good or some may find it bad, but that is what we call slut, if that is not slut, you better give some definition what you think slut do. I wont say being that way (after marriage is over or is to be) is good or bad, but in your case it seems good, accept that, but Debbie is slut. And those who say Debbie loves Bill but has not realised yet, How do you know , these are not real person, these characters in story, you can comment on whatever was told in story, explicitly or implicitly but not about their innerselves,

size 14 shoe.... PHIL... This is WHY I have not return your emails. It is not that your opinion is different from mine or that I HAVE to be correct.

It is that you continue to LIE or ignore key facts about what actually has happened in the story.... Just to support your ridiculous positions.

For example back in the beginning of the story you insisted after every chapter that

*Debbie had done nothing wrong...

*that Bill over react... you called him a "drama queen"...

* that the e-mails did not mean anything except that she was lonely...

* that Debbie might have shaved her pussy for Bill.

well as we now KNOW ... in every instance your assertions turned out to be a COMPLETELY wrong . Yet that does not seem to stop you. You certainly have never admitted this.

here you are again attempting to do the same with absurd irrational crap. Your wrote

"....This 'seems' to be the general opinion of most commentary. Harry 'seems' to say this 2 or 3 times in comments after every chapter. Debbie has fucked 2 men in the last 20 years -- Bill and now Doug.....

You CERTAIN about that? Because you dimwit NO one else is. The problem here is that given how overpowering Debbie's sexual persona is.. how all encompassing her sexual NEED is.... No reader in this story would be a surprise in the least IF it turns out that over the 17 years of the marriage Debbie has in facted fucked other men.

*-*-*

Yout wrote:

...."Debbie kicked Doug to the curb because of the danger to her daughter, Kelly. Not only is she newly separated from her husband but also from her lover. ..."

Um ...No read the story you Moron. Kelly went after Doug FIRST. debbie ONLY kicked doug to the curb because she was afraid of losing Doug to Kelly her daughter.

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you wrote:

".....Debbie is experiencing what most newly separated women experience after separating from a husband of many (17) years. She is pissed at Bill for ignoring her, she is lonely, and at almost 40 years old, she could be in an identity crisis. It happens a lot. Her doctor wants her to see a therapist......"

Gee you left put several CRITICAL things... that are called .... wait for it... FACTS.

Sure she is Pissed at Bill.... but for how long? When is the anger enough?. For the past few months... as far Debbie knows... BILL is the one that is alone... he is out of the house... while she has a nice young hot stud worshipping the ground she walks on.

Debbie has for MONTHS refused to admit that she has ANY mental isssues at all. Only NOW when her life has turned to shit is she finally BEGINNING to admit that she MIGHT have a problem.

*-*-*

Your wrote:

"......Sure, she likes to fuck. So do I. She likes to be around interesting people. So do I. She enjoys slow dancing with attractive members of the opposite sex. So do I. She seemed to enjoy Doug's big dick. I enjoy a big set of tits and a tight pussy......"

Did you shave your pussy too Phil? did you engage in a long term emotional cyber sex affair through chat room/ emails?

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You wrote

".....Until Debbie said, "When we were married..." and Bill picked up on something, her only problem with Bill was he was fat and out of shape. She was pissed that he had lost his stamina in bed. That may seem shallow but I can get it. I lost sexual interest in my wife when she let herself balloon up to 240 pounds. So I'm shallow too, I guess....."

Phil again your pathetic strawman building is obvious. THAT is NOT the issue. Debbie fell out of love with Bill. FINE. She has every right to do so. BUT bringing Dougie home to fuck in their bedroom every night / afternoon even when the Kids actually say to her " Mom we are uncomfortable with this..." THAT is what is wrong.

Yet she is still angry at Bill. Tell me Phil WHY didnt they go to DOUG's place to screw? why did it have to be Debbie & Bill old master bedroom?

WHY?... because Debbie WANTED it that way.

If you think you can do something like that and NOT have your wife and kids get angry you are a bigger douche bag than I thought.

I don't know about you all, but I read Lit to be entertained, not to discover the greater mysteries of the universe. This story arc has been one of the few to capture my attention. Are there grammar and syntax errors? Sure. Could the proofreading be better? Sure. But, all things considered, I am drawn into the story. I like the asides. Not knowing where things are going, being suprised, that's what makes it worth while. It reminds me of a 40's pulp novel. I like it. Keep it up.

If you dont like comments stay the fuck away from these. dont you think. He is not saying story is not good or he didn't like it. They are discussing character moron. This is called criticism. If you dont like it, read story and Add comment "Good Story DQS1, Love you, Please Keep Writing" and Close and wait for next chapter.

Thank you again Victoriangent. I really like to be challenged by interested people as yourself. You know maybe Debbie is an associate professor, but I don't really think that DQS knows for sure himself. Plus my knowledge on the Florida state university system, OR for that matter also the university of Florida system, is incomplete. I make assumptions based upon "basic" criteria used to justify promotions to associate professor in California. And even in California, I don't know a great deal about the state university system; I do know the university of California system having been on the faculty of one of its campuses over 4 decades. I do however know that Florida has an excellent higher educational system from a colleague who is on a campus of Florida Atlantic University (also part of the Florida state university system). I realize that the standards for promotion there may not be quite as strict for becoming associate professor as they are in California; but for practical purposes that are pretty much in line with those in California.

Now we are faced with the fact that this is a story and the need to go by what DQS writes. He does refers to Debbie as an assistant professor in some places in the story - either that is true or I am dreaming when I read. I'd have to go through the story to find refer to his saying Debbie is an assistant professor of business. With what limited information the author does provides related to Debbie's academic activities I would find it hard to positively say she is not an associate professor. But when I fill in those lines that DQS does not write with facts about her non-teaching activities at UNF, e.g., is Deb actively involved in researching business management, has she received funding from governmental or private sources to finance her research, does she have colleagues who work with her on the research project (other than possibly Doug though this is not spelled out by DQS). When talking to President Myers she claims to be working on a draft of a manuscript to be published, but "drafts" of manuscripts do not mean that much toward a promotion. Its the originally of her published works that count; and the quality of the journal in which she publishes (in peer reviewed journals). There is nothing that DQS writes that leads me to believe that Debbie is associate professor/with tenure quality.

Victoriangent, remember also that President Myers does not mention "tenure" when he speak with Bill that night just after the fight about what protections Debbie and Doug each had if Bill sued the university for alienation of affection. He basically indicated that Debbie had some as a straight line faculty but that Doug had little protection. You can take that for what's its worth but the protection provided by "tenure" was not mentioned.

I'll go along with you that she is an associate professor but without tenure. How's that?

As an aside, I like the comment by Quixote posted near yours this morning (Wednesday). Do we know when the next chapter is scheduled for posting?

All best wishes,

Bartolo

Harry, Since I could care less why you didn't return my email, I didn't bother reading your note. Have a nice day!

I feel you are in the wrong profession. I do in my heart believe that you are a polotician.

Being a borderline moron, I do not possess the mental acumen to debate this issue further with an esteemed professor such as yourself, however do not ever think that I will defer to you. I know what the author said in his notes and that is all I need to continue enjoying this fine novel.

regards

Please excuse the spelling error. "Polotician" should have been politician, but then again this correction of my error might be debatble, might it not professor?

Hi Victoriangent,

I'm eating lunch here on the west coast bent over my PC. I have two references to DQS's. In Chapter 02A the author stated, "For 17 years the former Debbie Bascomb had been my wife, lover, and best friend. We had two children, both navigating through the treacherous teen years and had been working our way up the career paths of our own choosing, myself in the law and Debbie in academia as an Assistant Professor at the University of North Florida."

and from Chapter 1, "She bent over to wave goodbye to the driver and in that instant I saw a youngish dark haired guy at the wheel. I wasn't sure, but I thought he was another assistant professor in the business department."

I guess you can't believe everything you read (whose credited with being the first to say this?). But no, seriously, I don't think that DQS would give this discovery any importance because whether Debbie's an associate or assistant professor of business does not affect the direction(s) of the story.

Regards,

Bartolo

In the initial development of the two characters Debbie Maitland and Bill Maitland, the author introduced them as being: Bill Maitland Assistant District Attorney of Duvall County; Debbie was introduced as an Associate Professor at UNF. This all occurred in the four and fifth paragraph of the story, prior to the infamous words WWWM ever being spoken.

Now, I do not deny that there were other references made that she was an Assistant Professor, HOWEVER, the author corrected these mistakes in the notes he provided in chapter 4a. Woe is me to challenge the author.

regards

Hi again Victorangent,

I looked at the beginning of chapter 4A and the statement you mention reads, "Another glitch is that Debbie is an Associate, not Assistant Professor at UNF. There are two levels, but Associate is the highest and closest to regular professor, and Associates do have job protections that Assistants usually don't. Victoriangent, the way I'm reading this the statement is incorrect. It's the other way around, namely that his wife is an assistant professor and not an associate professor.

That is, isn't the glitch "that she is not an associate professor but rather lower on the professorial scale, viz., an assistant professor." mainly what DQS is saying?

In my own opinion, with her credentials, Debbie is at this stage in her career not a good candidate to recommend for promotion to associate professor.

All best wishes,

Bartolo

....if anyone else had a problem with Prof Abbot(t?) rueing his singlehood loneliness when he had described his ex/late wife as a bitch, and they had no children as a focus of mutual interest? Has this been mentioned? It made no sense.

"For 17 years the former Debbie Bascomb had been my wife, lover, and best friend. We had two children, both navigating through the treacherous teen years and had been working our way up the career paths of our own choosing, myself in the law and Debbie in academia as an Assistant Professor at the University of North Florida." and from Chapter 1, "She bent over to wave goodbye to the driver and in that instant I saw a youngish dark haired guy at the wheel. I wasn't sure, but I thought he was another assistant professor in the business department."

`

We have the same problem here that we have with Debbie being a slut -- material read too fast with too little thought and too many assumptions made. Debbie DID work her way up the career path as an Assistant Professor. She is now an Associate Professor after being an Assistant Professor. On the other hand the dark haired guy at the wheel IS at this time an Assistant Professor.

`

Bill describes Debbie as a wife, lover, best friend for 17 years while doing the work necessary to gain Associate Professor status. She had her career at UNF ended by an inappropriate public display of affection when Doug tilted her head up and kissed her on the mouth. She sealed the deal by kissing him back. Had she been guilty of the type things she is being accused of by some here, she would have never lasted to Associate Professor status. We are let in on the fact that some, emphasize SOME men have rubbed against her while dancing and some have copped a feel occasionally.

`

She stated earlier that the reason she allowed it at all was she was afraid of what Bill would do if he knew. We now know just how on target her fears were. Bill is a man who takes the law into his own hands, a vigilante meting out justice with brass knuckles and 2 body guards.

`

None of this excuses her inappropriate conversations with Doug on the emails or in person -- although we don't know, or should I say, MOST of us don't know what she said or didn't say in person because DQS has not appraised us of those conversations.

`

Until Bill became the "injured husband" and began to do what injured parties do -- imagine worst case scenerios -- he saw her as something other than a sex driven slut.

I have treated you as a person due my respect. However, viewing how simple minded you are, I'll no longer debate with you.

You, sir, in my opinion are as I would expect from a university in california, an idiot.

You are a prime example as to why I am elated that my children graduated from Duke, UVA and Wellesley.

Good day.

regards

You have been more patient than I would have been under the circumstances. The man is an idiot. The story belongs solely to the author. He is writing it on the fly and doing a great job. Who gives a fuck if Debbie is an associate or assistant professor. Semantics matter only to children and teachers.

The second scene seems to indicate that Debbie may get better (and free) advice from Abbott than anyone else and almost certainly better than that given out by her fellow man-slagging therapist in scene 4.

I agree with Harry on Debbie’s behavior in general, but with Size14shoe on this occasion. Although her flirting and flaunting have been outrageous, I believe the stated intent on this occasion to be essentially humorous (“She wiggled her ass just enough to make Abbott a hero to his male students and when she'd left the classroom she started walking normally and grinned an evil grin.”).

The fifth scene – now here’s where I would need valium in order to suspend disbelief. A previous analyst (Petela?) commented on the unlikelihood of the setting – in a university at lunchtime, Bill, accompanied by 2 ‘civilized’ thugs, comes by to inflict damage on Doug. He may have got away with his behavior at the university awards ceremony but he’s really pushing the envelope on this occasion. No matter his right to be pissed at Doug for what he perceives as an attack on his daughter’s virtue (a laugh in itself from her own previous behavior), neither the time nor the place are appropriate or believable.

Although the time frame from beginning to end is just 180 minutes (allowing 15 minutes for the fracas) it’s a progression of sorts. It seems a tad rushed but still, given the pressure the author is under to satisfy our mad thirst for this story, a good read.

Finally, preface to chapter 4A, from the author -

Author's note: …….

……….

Another glitch is that Debbie is an Associate, not Assistant Professor at UNF. There are two levels, but Associate is the highest and closest to regular professor, and Associates do have job protections that Assistants usually don't.

……

…….

- when the author speaks, don’t you think we should believe him? Above all else, it IS his story.

Size14shoe's comment "well hidden = "SATIRE".

I like your style. I appreciare what you did for our country.

While I appreciate your support, I must say that it saddens me to come across such a purportedly educated man that denies reality. The only saving grace I have is he didn't have anything to do with the education of my children. And God be willing he will have nothing to do with the education of my grandchildren nor my great grandchildren.

In fact it actually scares me to think of how many young minds he has had the opportunity to influence with his way of thinking.......sad ain't it?

'

Please excuse me for misunderstanding an idiot.