All Comments on 'When We Were Married Ch. 05C'

I loved it!

Several chapters ago I suggested that DQS had painted himself into a corner with his word processor and that all the new characters and sub-plots were being introduced to let the paint dry (until we forgot what Debbie had done). As his story unfolds, I increasingly believe that I may have been right.

With a very skillful pen in the first few chapters, DQS gave us the arch-bitch Debbie who destroyed her husband’s marriage, publicly castrated him, and earned the enmity of thousands of loyal readers. She even fucked her lover in her husband’s bed while her teenage children listened to her grunt. DQS had created a monster.

Debbie is now his Frankenstein monster and we readers will pursue her with torches, like that crowd in the old movie, until we see her properly punished for her sins. We will not be diverted by charming stories about new characters, nor by Bill getting his much-deserved share of high quality pussy. We want revenge on that monster and regurgitating on her nice clean blouse or seeing Bill with a beautiful woman come nowhere close to what we have in mind (although seeing her naked was a great idea).

DQS keeps telling us that Debbie is gaining a new respect for Bill’s talents in the courtroom (if not the bedroom). That’s not nearly good enough for this angry crowd. We want to see her punished for her misdeeds before he puts Debbie and Bill back together (as we are all convinced he ultimately will try to do). Perhaps DQS has in mind a fitting retribution, which will satisfy this crowd’s quest for vengeance. But what he has in mind had better be damned ingenious – something approximating bamboo strips under her fingernails – before he can expect us to quench our torches.

LynnGKS

so good I put up with the wait--5

tom anon

I already had Bill and Aline getting to the restaurant and running into the family, but you, of course, are so much more ingenious. Considering some of the heroines that Lynn has produced and her writing some in the first person, I find her rather overboard in her diatribe against Debbie. I find your characterizations to be very real life. Just give us more of your very fine writing.

But these 4 and 5 week waits leave the story cold and make the excitement wane.

Where I was quite enamored while reading the first 13 chapters, these last 2 I have just approached, "ho-hum". I think that is because interest fades, life goes on and DQ's passion for drama amongst his readers tires me.

Besides all that, this is well written, interesting and very intelligent. I acknowledge what a great effort is involved knowing that you take such strides to cover all the bases.

Thanks for the entertainment.

Best regards,

Pultoy

Or take as much time as you need. I can't wait, but I suppose I must. 5

Way to go Bill, let Debbie eat a little crow. About time too, she didnt care about him when she was cheating with that other prof.

You keep playing with little tidbits about Debbie in recovery and it seems suggestive that you have Bill & Deb back together. DON'T DO THAT - PLEASE?

Aline, find a way, I know I can come up with a dozen ways.

I also noted your comments to another writer in which you referred to this story and made mention that it would be complete sometime next spring or in early summer?

I still favor Aline!!!

Thanks for the story

Take the time you feel you need to get it how you want it to be.

Loved the ending but also liked the realism of Aline remembering her family at times. Regardless of her (almost?) inevitable return to her life, she has given Bill so much and both deserve more happiness than they are likely to get from their romance. Others will see it differently but, even if they are destined to part, they will always remember each other with love and a certain amount of longing.

I enjoyed this, not least BJ's reaction.

not story but, reaction i got from myself, in the begining , everytime a new chapter posted, i would always find myself impatient to wait for next, but now it getting like -" OK , lets see what comes next, whenever it come" -- i think amount of time taken and quality are not proportional, author does not have any intention to finish it, so he is going to pull it as much as he can, well i'll keep reading, whenever you post. I read story from SirThopas, very touching but he always leave stories unfinished with unanswered questions, but hell of a writer, and very unpredictable. DQS, learn something from him, and do some unpredictable things, not again and again some big tit slut and small dick wimp ,married love story with lot of sex(not between them, silly), and I can almost tell you what is coming in your next chapter.

Why do i read it? because it seems interesting in start and I started it, so I will finish.

I have looked forward to each posting,however with this, when it was posted, I wondered with dread how long I would be checking the daily posts for the next installment.Now that I have read it, its an anticlimax because again I enjoyed it and now I have to wait with baited breath till the next posting........Keep up the good work.

a .345 magnum? It must be rare and expensive. I want one for my collection. Mr. Bill is a real piece of work isn't he? He is fucking the wife of a man he considers a friend. With friends like that... If the wonderful Aline misses her son so much why is she not at home trying to be a mother? Why doesn't she quit her job? I doubt they need the money. But no, she is half way around the world fucking Mr. Bill. What does that say about her? Mr. Bill thinks about his ex-wife all the time. He seems to be turning a little wimpy. Aline will return home. Mr. Bill will long for his ex. He will give in and take the whore back so he will have someone to wake up with in the morning. After all, she needs someone to protect her right? Debbie is jealous. The plan is coming together.

I like the set up with crooked cop and the wife murderer but I don't like the move towards a reconciliation. The cheating wife is still a cheating wife. She disrespected Bill for years and then cheated in her mind if not with her body.

You are most likely the best author to ever grace these pages. I don't care what some of these idiots say. WWWM is the best story on this website, bar none. Keep doing what your doing. I would be very suprised if you are not a published author. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

Along with many others, I waited and waited for this sub chapter. I found the first few pages a little boring and kept waiting for the shoe to drop. Well, it did! Aline and Debbie tradeing barbs was priceless. Aline kicked Debbie's butt with it then stomped on her ego. It was so good I got up, mixed myself a little Gentleman Jack and water and now I offer a toast to Aline - "way to go babe!"

DQS, pleae, please don't take so long with the next installment.

Thank you for sharing your talent with us...

will take a bone. I hope Bill understands that Aline has fucked around on her husband with more than a few men on the Bonne Chance. And she will fuck around on Bill. As the sages here on Lit say, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Please, when referring to a cheating slut in these comments, tell us which one you are talking about -- Aline or Debbie.

There are several slice of life stories going on. Some are interesting, some not so, and some too early to tell. Unfortunately it feels like I am losing track of a cohesive story line. I thought it was supposed to be about their marriage? Besides the continuing twinges Bill has about "still loving his wife" and the goofy confrontation between Debbie and Aline there doesn't seem to be much going on in the "main" story line. Just a lot of side stories. Unlike other commenters have suggested I don't hate Debbie or think she deserves horrible things to happen to her. Debbie was a bitch and Bill was an ass. They are divorced, that should be sufficient. The development of Debbie is still weird. The session with her psychologist was much ado about what exactly? Sometimes Debbie seems like a sophisticated character, next she is having a confrontation with a person she just met about the respective size of their tits. Debbie's whole sense of self worth seems linked to the size of her tits and the power she imagines they give her. This is infantile and seems at odds with a middle age character. A vain person, OK. A woman totally defined by her big tits? Really?? She's a caricature of a real person. I guess at times Bill is as well. When he was confronting the murderer and his mother it was a comedy. How come all the bad guys are going to fuck his wife in revenge? Can't they get some new material? Threats against his family has already been used. I'm still not sure where this train is headed and I'm beginning to wonder if I want to stay on just for the ride.

on one hand you give poor Bill the shittiest people to deal with at work and of course with those criminals it's just a matter of time until the next drama strikes. on the other hand poor Bill has the next drama in his love life (a married woman)and of course to torture him even more you write the last scene. I would say every normal guy would be dead by now or completly apathetic.

I feel for Billy, at least I try to. But as each chapter progresses I find myself slowly loosing all apathy for him. Let's face it, Bill deserves some hot rebound action and Debbie needs to get a taste of the hell she put Bill through. But is what he doing any better? He is sleeping with a friend's wife. The cheated on has become the cheater.

Of course this could be because I just don't "feel" Aline. The woman has two weeks off but instead of seeing her son she spends it with Bill. Obviously she has done this many times before but this time there are feelings involved, at least enough to override her desire to see her family, and you just know it will end badly.

Wonderful twists and turns. You are a talented writer.

I enjoy each chapter and verse. Please tell your story and not the one the peanut gallery wants. The writing is delightful!

Thanks

this is by far the most gripping series i've read though it's not what i expect. Despite how compelling it is, despite it not being what might generally be expected for such a venue - i don't mean to slight literotica at all - I have no idea where it is ultimately going and that, to me, says alot. I noticed the time between submissions growing longer. It's perfectly understandable but I selfishly hope you'll get the next installments out expeditiously even if it doesn't go where I'd like it to. I'm a romantic

Another fantastic chapter. The best story on lit right now. Look forward to the next one. Thank you very much for writing it.

is significant. Keep in mind that Bill was and IS divorced... and Aline and her husband Phillp are french and have this open marrriage shit going on.

this story is extremely well written. My personal problem is that in the last two months, little has happened to advance the whole damn show. It is all very well, but not as riveting any more. The French chick is maudlin half the time and Bill is maudlin much of the time. I cannot remember who Cheryl is and really don't care enough to go back to find out. Two weeks can be forever! You may well be the best writer on this site, (although Marsh Alien is an incredible talent! Did he stop posting here?), but it just seems like you are in this for the writing and losing the actual story. Taking so long between chapters is hurting the story. Have you ever seen the TV show "24", which I love? It is told in "real time". This story is now in real time. The first chapter of the story was posted six months ago and the story is now at six months in story time. If we keep getting four pages for two days of action, Literotica may need more server space as well as more bandwidth! Lynn is right about Debbie, except we will forgive her since we cannot remember what the hell it was that she did way back when. She may have grown a new hymen by now. Her strange attack on Aline's chest size seemed odd to me. Is she, and everyone else in J-Ville, as obsessed as Steele and I with tits? I thought we were the exception and not the rule. It is also obvious that this is a novel, and far more than a story. You remain the man, and I remain impatient as hell!

Except in this case the name would be Maitland. That Debbie has serious mental issues is obvious but WHY the fuck is she confronting Aline about TITS?

Even after all this time Debbie remains a shatteringly shallow and self centered person.

Meanwhile it is becoming increasingly clear the resolution of this never ending story is connected with Sutton and or the bad cop. Both of them have PROMISED to go after Debbie.

This is getting really silly. The cop that is trouble going up to a high profile superstar DA and threatening to KILL or hurt him and or Debbie in public... is just so fucking stupid I dont know where to begin.

Sutton I get ... hes a serious mental case and a killer and very smart. He thinks he will get away with it and he might.

But the cop? threatemning the DA...placing his hand on his gun while talking to the DA? in public? with tons of witnesses?

laughable

You know, if it takes another month for the next installment to come out, the reasonable ones of us out here can no longer be responsible for your safety. When you create something this addictive, you've got to keep up with the demand.

Another fine chapter, those of us who appreciate a cerebral tale are thankful to DQSteel . Please ignore the comments from readers of the Enquirer who just want a quick, cheap, grammatically incorrect sad little story. Looking forward to the next chapter.

I have really enjoyed this story and am looking forward to many more chapters and hopefully very soon

DQS goes into fine details regarding the romance between Aline and Bill, which I greatly appreciate; however, both know it won't last because Aline must returned to her family in France and her job on the Bonne Chance. Aline's meeting Bill's family was well presented; I thought as many others, that Debbie would meet up with Aline and Bill in a restaurant or nightclub. The meeting in Bill's Condo was maybe the highlight of the chapter, although I'd regard the progress being made in Dr. Teller's attempts to unravel the mystery surrounding the gang bang in the men room at a local restaurant or night spot takes a second place. The notion that Debbie was not part of the gang bang but an observer gives more clarity, and maybe just one more session of hypnosis will solve the mystery underlying Debbie's recent behavior. WWWM continues to be extremely interesting and I look forward to the next installment, I assume soon to be posted (chapter 5D)

Very nice chapter, I could just picture the slow motion "noooooo..." moment of the family pouring unexpectedly in, and the bathroom door opening... There's a scene that teenage boy won't soon forget (or anyone else for that matter)

Quality over quantity; don't compromise good writing by giving in to the "faster, faster" complainers.

One request I have, though. I'm not positive, but I get the gut feeling that you might ultimately be working toward getting Bill and Debbie back together in the end. IF you do (and I'm not necessarily saying you should, just basing this on some of your other stories as well as clues from this one) please give Bill a realistic length of time to react; one of your other stories had the wife throw herself at the husband, who accepted her and the story was over in another 2 paragraphs. Bill wouldn't do that quite as easily.

Love your stories, though! Keep up the good work!!!

A lot going on in this section, a lot semi-finalized. The dirty cop who has been hanging around for several chapters finally stepped up to the urinal and pulled down his zipper. The sleaze ball, used car salesman - stock broker proved sick enough, and dumb enough, to get caught - A lot of unfulfillable romance between Bill and Aline. Debbie beginning to understand the tricks her mind has been playing on her life - The embarrassment of the end scene was hilarious, especially the verbal cat fight close. I was drawn by these few simple paragraphs smack dab in the middle of 5C.

"It was married sex. Easy, undramatic sex. No dining and dancing and getting a woman drunk until you get got into that pussy and rammed it hard while the woman under you screamed. There was no conquest.

Just two bodies together naked and comfortable together, drifting into and out of sleep. How much more boring and middle aged could that be. But I realized it was what I needed. What I wanted. Before it had gotten bad, it was what I had had with Debbie. And I hadn't realized until this moment how badly I missed it.

And then I was asleep again."

DQS gives a very good description and I can remember times like that even though I have been divorced fifteen years now. Waking at 2:30 to find yourself making love to a woman who is also just becoming awake and neither of you knowing how things got started but the action and climax are very satisfying typifies the best of married sex, passionate because there is passion between two. I recall a conversation with my then wife in our last year together wherein she described that scene that we had shared a number of times. She said she wanted the passion back, but we no longer had it together.

Good story, DQS, thanks for the memories as some old comedian used to say. I could be satisfied with things up in the air like this for an ending to the whole thing.

It's getting silly now. The final scene, with Aline emerging from the bathroom holding her pussy lips open for the delectation of the assembled multitude is your 'jumping the shark' moment. What a shame - the first few chapters were so good. It doesn't seem to me as if you have any idea where the story is heading, and so you are reduced to writing self-contained, action-packed chapters which are entertaining enough in isolation, but which don't really advance the story or enhance the characters. It's still entertaining, but the quality level is declining with every new submission.

I liked it. It was just right. It was just what I needed untill the next chapter comes out......NEXT YEAR!

I for one loved it. I love your writing and can't wait for more. Thank you.

i read this chapter at my JOB. i couldn't wait. i saw the meet the family moment coming...AND I STILL HOWLED!

think we will see the next installment before turkey day?

I'm caught in a dilemma! At once I'm pleased to have finished 5C, looking for the next installment and scared the story will end. Damn! It's that good. Thank you.

Moving on with someone else, yes. Reconciliation with Debbie, no way in hell!!!

Debbie deserves everything that Aline can dish out. I'm glad she walk of the stage with her tail between her legs.

RHinSC correctly pointed out that there is no such thing as a .345 magnum firearm. I did a Google search and found some car wax, some hot rod wheels, and some other paraphernalia with this designation, but no handguns of this caliber. But, despite this little flub and a few small grammatical errors, the story was very well written. The imagery and prose are perhaps the best and most consistent on Lit, as others have also commented.

But there is a little credibility issue with the way Bill baits the bad guys. Generally, lawyers don't like to show their hands too soon. And Bill knew that the cop (and the used care salesman) were too smart to say anything incriminating, so making threats, baiting them, and/or revealing his intentions makes for a dramatic moment or two (as we see in the show, "Law and Order"), but in real life, I doubt such confrontations actually take place. The perps do threaten the ADA's but generally, the ADA's remain dispassionate, at least until they are before the jury presenting their cases.

Bill is supposed to have quick wit and quick reflexes, now that he has had some boxing training, so I don't understand how he simply let his family into his condo the way he did. He must have subconsciously wanted a confrontation between Aline and Deb. I'd bet that Teller, given the chance, would have a field day psychoanalyzing this "coincidence!"

DQS, you promised at the beginning of the last chapter that you would not make your loyal fans wait so long for chapters in the future -- and yet, you did it again with this one. Do we need some New Years' Resolutions to set you straight (LOL)? Thanks for writing.

It's clear that Aline will be murdered by one of Maitland's slimeballs, and then he will wrestle with taking Debbie back or not....who knows, after all these chapters you might end it like JPB does...and then laugh out loud as you read all the bitching and moaning....

I have been impressed with your last two chapters. These installments are more complete in themselves than the previous chapters. I just wish that they would come at least once a month if not twice a month.

The quality of your writing is only rivaled by two or three others on this site. Please keep your passion so we can continue to enjoy your exceptional talent.

God I forgot how much I missed this! See you next month I hope.

Rob

But will it be because of a ghost, I wonder? A supernatural twist might add some interest to this heap.

Also, you already did the murderer threatens titcow bit. It's obvious you'd run out of material early on, but repeating yourself already? Are you going to magic negro him away like the last one, too?

P.S.: you're almost up to a page of extremely boring recap at the start of chapters now. Good work on picking up on the fact that people probably want to avoid reading all the shitty previous chapters.

I'm thoroughly enjoying this story. I like that it's got layers and sub-plots, and it's not just about the broken relationship between two people. I not second-guessing the author or trying to find little details to rip apart. I'm just enjoying this story.

Good comments by rooster1 and bartolo that I agree!

Others need to reread or remember that Aline couldn't go home no one would be there for her - no son or husband both off on trips she couldn't/wasn't allowed to accompany!!! I realize many details and storylines but if some of you pride yourself on your comments (it seems) you should get them accurate for the storyline.

As for me I am enjoying where ever you are taking us (the READERS not the many commenter’s back seat driving). This is your story (creation) you write it how YOU wish if others don't agree or like it - write there own (too many only comment and have never written - many a saying and quote concerning that subject)

Still a 5 star.

Just please don't stop writing or rush the ending. I have faith you won't based on your other writings. I am concerned that the end could be a JPB that leaves too much unclosed (Please NOT)

Do the best you can if 5 - 6 weeks is your best between chapters then I would rather have the turtle writer than a hare writer!!

Thank you for posting your story here for me to read!

In DQS1's earlier works he always had omens, foreshadowing, that was always obeyed.

Early on the omen was that Deb would one day realize what she lost, and want him back, only she'd be too late.

I had always thought it was set up to be the boss's secretary he'd be busy with. Now, well I fear for his French lover's husband's life. For the boss's secretary is now too minor a character to all of a sudden rise up and take center stage.

And I enjoy the writing of the last two chapters greatly. They were worth the wait.

And, as usual, I am left on the edge of my seat waiting for Mr Dickens, err DQS1, to release another installment.

(and if he'd finish off Literotica.com's Edmund Drood ((Sophia by CastleStone)) I'd be in heaven.)

The audacity of the idiot! Two of his dismal rejects that buy-in to that garbage might miss his pathetic incoherent excuses.

Do you ever think on a larger scale? Maybe you should. Why is she cruising around on a ship to start with? She has a small child at home who needs a mother. They are going to send him of to boarding school so they won't be bothered with the little fucker. They are probably a couple of selfish assholes. I agree with Harry that some of the bad guys will probably try and hurt someone in Mr. Bills family. That is a good way to bring the ex back into the fold. After having my nuts crushed by this writers endings a few times, I think that is the way it will go. After all, he said that Matt M. was his hero.

better with every chapter....

Maitlands people skills in court never seem as sharp in his personal life.

he is weak, his ladies are weak.

There are so many loyal, non cheating, sexy women out there that would love a nice man surely he has the brains to find one...maybe he is just not a nice man he treats his kids second hand and his women are dodgy...maybe he is a dope after all.

I dont think he deserves a happy ending maybe a bullet from Phillipe would resolve this story best.

I think a sad ending is now overdue, because if he finds a new and happy woman to love I would be sad for her.

time to finish..started well...but has lost the plot of life

sinicalman

One of the fun things about this story is that it works as a mystery.

Anyway, all of the people threatening to do damage to Bill and his family - if you reasonably assume that that has also happened in the past, then other plotting options open up. Which allows some unresolved plot points even more tragic resolutions.

Or maybe not.

I applaud the author, and hope he works this one through to a conclusion (unlike, say, Sophia... I thought I was the only one a bit sad that it seems to have stalled out.).

The fixation on body qualities as reflective of attractiveness is a bit annoying, but maybe this is also part of the story DQS is writing... in many of the LW stories it is the aging of the guy, the gain of weight, the lack of vigor that leads to the "loving wife", as happens here perhaps... I think that one of the underlying story elements that DQS incorporates is that his relationships tend to fail due to essential human incompatibilities... so the body part stuff may be another red herring for deficiencies of the soul. In this case, Bill is flawed due to bad self image wrt Debbie, and Debbie seems to have insufficient loyalty to her family responsibilities.

Or not... the earlier discussion-in-the-story seems to be leading to a "it had to happen, due to the duties and hazards of the job" resolution (and all of the threats against Bill/Debbie only reenforce that)... I don't think that Debbie will stay the queen bitch (since that would be a cheap sentiment) but I also think that Bill and Debbie will not get back together, due to their essential incompatibility.

Anyway, thanks again for the story.

...love it, love it!

Others have mentioned it and I will admit to being quite put off by the .345 Magnum line. I would hope that was a simple gaff and not a research failure. Also, most law enforcement agencies now days, including detectives carry high capacity semi-auto pistols rather than six shot revolvers. That being said though, I can see some cowboy detective from Palatka carrying a big old Colt Python .357 Magnum wheelgun.

I really liked the verbal Smackdown between Aline and Debbie at the end. I must admit I was expecting something more evil regarding who was at the door like the bitch mother or even the cop. BTW, bullet hole in the back...it goes to the Grand Jury, cop or not but especially with a cop.

Despite that and a couple of other things, it's still the best story on Literotica. Keep up the great work.

those last few paragraphs were fucking awesome! haha, im glad someone stoop up for bill and frankly, im glad hes movin on. i gave this story a three because of four reasons. 1-turns out deb wasnt a complete whore, she just witnessed her fucked up aunt being one, 2-bill is gonna try that asshole cop who killed his girlfriends hubby and tag alongs, 3-aline walked into the room naked, holding open her shaved snatch pretty much infront of bills entire family, showing them that only has he moved on but that he can get women just as hot if not hotter than his ex, and 4-aline pretty much took shot after shot at deb and it was fucking glorious. now, i got the impression when you first started out, this wasnt supposed to last 32 chapters or have bill get more pussy than a rock star ( does anyone else love that harddaysknight keeps knocking DSQ? that shit is funny) and frankly i was debating whether or not i should just stop but this chapter has me thinking i should see where you're going-unless it keeps on going like that fucking energizer bunny.

With a slight bit of research, I have found that Ruger makes a model now called the P345. It's not a magnum pistol since it takes .45 ACP (Automatic Colt Pistol) ammunition, the hardball (full metal jacket) version of which has been been available since before WW I. But it is a 345 so without comment from Daniel, we will just leave it as a mistatement. LOL My apology for not researching first.

I love the little side stories that the author introduces into the mix, that makes the life of Bill Maitland even fuller in my mind.

All of the twists and turns is what makes the story a whole package for me.

I thought it was great when Debbie finally got it shoved in her face that Bill wasn't just setting around waiting for her crazy ass.

A great story and very exciting to read; Thanks.

Either the good doctor is looney, or dqs1 thinks readers will accept anything he says (just because he is a good writer, I guess). Actually both may be true because you are also the doctor. You never told us that Debbie was a great actress.

Debbie did not describe the rape scene, she recreated it. How did she do that? Did her aunt describe it to her or did she actually witness it. If the latter, why didn’t she do something to stop it. If she witnessed it, she must have seen it all, from what happen outside the bathroom. This stinks to high HELL!!

You seem hell bent on rehabilitating Debbie as a good girl. You had her saying that it was Bills fault that the marriage failed. But other than her complaining to Doug and her mother, nowhere do you spell out in detail what she did to save her marriage. I don’t recall you ever mentioning that she told Bill that if he didn’t shape-up physically, pay more attention to her in and out of bed, reduce his work hours so that he could spend more time with her and the kids that she intend to leave him. HA, HA!! She never complained about the good life that hard work by Bill gave her and the kids. I think the reason she didn’t issue a strong warning to Bill about their marriage being in trouble is because the previously mention complaints were not the real reasons. I think the impulse to be free to pursue other men resurfaced. Her behavior with DOUG, and her behavior and attitude toward Bill were design to publically humiliate and castrate Bill. Dqs1 are you a slut and believe it is ok for a slut to treat men like cucks.

Entertaining but some major plot holes. Murder, kidnaping, mayhem, and blackmail are just some of the crimes Bill & Debbie's pecadillos have left their whole family and friends open to. Author, how do you reconcile the private lives of Bill & Debbie with your story line that apparently the entire world knows Bill is a cuckhold including every sociopath the State's Attorneys Office deals with, some of which are cops, armed and trained to be dangerous, and that Bill & Debbie have family, business and romantic lives? Bill & Debbie have private lives and relationships, work, raise kids, have parties yet no one blinks an eye when physcos in and out of uniform tell Bill the sex history of him and his wife along with veiled and not so veiled treats. Could a uniformed officer under investigation for triple homicide really get away with threatening the DA who heads the investigation over lunch no less? Could Sutton really relate what everyone knows about Debbie's sex life and what he wants to do, and Bill and his whole family not get "Drivers" and security so that midnight sex at the beach and sneaking women in and out his condo are difficult to do at best? And if all these creeps are considering coming after Bill's family, how has this not hit the news? Author, the stuff you have these criminals saying is much more detailed than vague threats and its apparently common knowlege?!?! And Author, could you possibly ever consider getting Bill & Debbie reconciled after Debbie's insanity and Whorific behavior not only destroys their marriage, but Bill's reputation troughout every social circle in and around Florida and also puts the Maitlands and everyone near to them lives and safety in danger from every creep and his best buddy who has an ax to grind against the Angel of Death? AND MAKE IT BELIEVEABLE? I think not.

awesome story

I'm torn as to what I want to say. Let me begin by saying I am absolutely loving this series. Thank you so very much for your work. But I am torn...

On the one hand, I want you to take your time and continue to produce these wonderful installments at the same high quality level you are currently delivering. But on the other hand, I want to read more! And I want it now!

I know there has to be some happy median as to the appropriate amount of time to make us wait for the next installment. Some discreet calibration that authors use to tweek the literary experience and gets us salivating anxiously for more... But it sure is hard as a fan and follower of your work (at least the work you so graciously and kindly share with us here) to sit patiently week after week waiting for your next offering.

So what do I do? Do I ask you to hurry, and risk upsetting you and delaying the next release? Or do I just thank you for allowing me the priviledge of reading without having to purchase a book and then sit waiting (albeit impatiently) for your next installment?

I'll just wait. Patience is a virue, right? And there's ALWAYS the option of re-reading, isn't there?

Bottom line... Thank you for sharing! I wish there was a higher score than 5.

I APPRECIATE your telling YOUR story. Love the therapy sessions w. Debbie. It will be interesting to see if she becomes a deeper, empathic person than the largely narcissist she has largely been. I liked the "family meeting." Rock on. drmike

Debbie was slammed, and all you had him do was feel mixed about the whole thing while paragraphs ago he's going on about Ms Hot Nips Frenchy Babe. You big pussy, big tits over hot nips any time you fetish fucker! And don't get me started on your cucky tendencies.

This story started like a house afire. Now, it seems the author just keeps pouring more fuel on it, with an attempt to let it burn forever.

No question it is well written. And captivating. But when will his children be kidnapped? One at a time, of course, because that will add more length to the story. I suspect I can skip the next few month's of chapters, and return to find it is still chuggin' along, with more multiple story lines.

I hate to scan a good story just to see how it ends. That's what this one has become for me. A shame, because it began with such promise.

Again, as with the last chapter, I see the story losing steam. Rather than going in toward a landing, we seem to be circling the airport. And in circling, we are asked to buy some major implausibilities.

First, how does everybody and their brother know Debbie was a cheating slut who left him for a bigger tool? Think about it, we now have a brutal wife/baby killer who lives hours away who knows the nitty gritty of an assistant prosecutor's divorce case in a city of a million. And, like everyone else, he's now vowed to shag Debbie silly.

Second, we have Aline pining for her family, but doing exactly the opposite of what she needs to do to fix her own family situations. RHinSC hit that one right on the head: She's not some perfect love interest; she's a cheating tramp who is only digging herself in deeper. Fine, her husband is also a manslut, but that doesn't alleviate the fact that she's all but disappeared from her son's life by her own choosing.

Third, the nasty cop approaches Bill in public and threatens him. Really?

Fourth, the kids and Bill's parents and Debbie--who hates him still--and Debbie's sister and the whole gang just drop in on him? The kids and Bill's parents, fine. Debbie and her sister? With nothing to set it up? And I mean absolutely fucking nothing. Just repeated statements that she and the kids want to take him out, while the rest of Debbie's plotlines in every chapter to date have her still hating Bill with a passion.

Fifth, Debbie's fixation with tits is now becoming nothing short of ridiculous. Let's face it, the whole scene--while perhaps emotionally satisfying for the reader--just doesn't add up. Why's she pissed? Is she jealous? Okay, I'll buy that. Nevertheless, remember that Debbie is a COLLEGE PROFESSOR. Now I'm sure we've all met professors who aren't the brightest, but Debbie continues to come across as the most incredibly shallow person in the whole fucking universe. A universe, by the way, that doesn't revolve around Debbie's tits.

I will grant that the new sideline story is interesting, but we've already had several of them in this story, and none of them appeared to advance the plot.

Thus, I'm stuck where I was last time. We've waited another month and Bill's no closer to getting over Debbie and Debbie's still a world class, self-centered, shallow, fucked up bitch.

Keep it up and I'll keep reading.

“I was in my apartment with a beautiful naked woman and I was missing my ex-wife.” Pure bullshit.

“I should have felt better at that moment than I did. I should have felt better than I had in the last five months since I'd first heard that phrase, "when we were married." I had a beautiful woman at my side. I should have felt better than I did.” FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE!

Okay! Okay! I understand this is a work of fiction, but Mr. Maitland is becoming more and more unbelievable. I think it's going to come out that he's been taking steroids during his work outs, causing brain damage and making his balls shrivel up. There is no other logical explanation except maybe this story is being written by some kind of man hating, ball busting women. Next time get your self a real gun like a .357 Magnum it's bigger, and bigger is better, right lady?

¨About the chapter as a whole:

I agree with LynnGKS: you are still trying to get out of that corner you painted your self into. Forced RAAC all the way as usual. It's not believable that any kind of man would take back a woman who has done to him what Debbie has to Bill, especially when everybody and their mother knows how she cucked him.

I agree with jasonh: why is it every bad guy Bill runs into wants to fuck his wife? Are they unable to get new material? This story is so much like a soap opera it's laughable, it's just one dramatic situation after another. Way too melodramatic. I'm just waiting for the chapter where he starts pulling some serious soap opera shit like thinking out loud while everybody's apparently unable to hear him speak. Cut the crap, the unnecessary sidetracks and the repetitions of scenarios it's become tedious and stupid.

----------------

About individual passages:

Debbie once again shows us just how shallow and self-centered she is with her comments about Aline. She and Bill are not a matched pair, never will be and they probably never truly were.

Can't wait for Aline to bugger off so Bill can finally find someone worth keeping. In the end Aline is no better than Debbie and just as unfit a wife for Bill as Debbie was. RHinSC and Rehnquist said everything that needed to be said on that matter.

Wonder if Debbie will still show up for the dinner when the kids take their father out to celebrate his birthday? Will she be grilling Bill for details?

----------------

Get on with the story, the ACTUAL story and not one of the multiple additional storylines...

Why would you have a woman in your flat, knowing that your kids had the keys to your flat.,and they could walk in at anytime. It was as if you were trying to get caught.

To show your wife,and family' she was not the only one ,that could play the field.

As commented by another reader, that you are trying to bring the whole town into the story, and milk the story as much as you can, and it's starting to look like a daytime soap opera.

I know that I sent you a E-Mail asking when this chapter was going to be posted, I was very dissappointed, that the story went nowhere.

This is, at least to me the best chapter so far!!! For a number of reasons, first the details of the cases were made clear and also why he thinks both of the men involved should get the death penalty, and I agree they both should, the details of the cases and how he can prove them guilty alone made this another great chapter, but then we get what I've been waiting for months to see. Debbie meet Aline, it's like the two fastest guns in town finally meet up up for a shoot out, or the two guys with the hottest cars in town play chicken, and god damn it

Debbie blinked. For those of you who've ever been dumped or divorced in real life, we can't go out and kill our ex spouses but most of us dream of finding someone better and then running into the ex. So she can just eat shit. And that's what he gave us. This is the best chapter so far. Now Bill only needs one more thing to get all of his self respect back. Let's face it the man needs a black Mustang. Great job as always!!

You are up to two weeks or more between postings now. You appear to be tiring. In my opinion you have a long way to go. You are putting great effort into rehabilitating Daffie (aka Debbie) into Ste Debbie once again by virtue of a clean bill of health from the shrink (who I think needs help himself). Your ability to put lipstick on this pig and reintroduce her to the lovesick champion wimp Bill will be a monumental task even a talented writer such as yourself will not be able accomplish to the satisfication of your readers.

I find it simply amazing that an author of your calibre would go to such great effort and present to the public a fine story such as this and then ruin it with a run of the mill, template LW RAAC.

If there is a reconciliation you will lose what respect I had for you as an accomplished story teller. I will relegate your name to the list of literary garbage spewers.

If you are tired, just turn the story over to Matt, he can fuck the rest of it up and well as you can.

that we have to wait between chapters. I am enjoying this story a great deal and like so very many others, I am already anxiously waiting for the next chapter.

the title pretty much sums it up for me.

you not writing now a days , man miss you. Please come up with some fine plot as you used to. I am sure when you posted your stories there were not as many LW readers we have now, you are hell of a writer.

I have enjoyed this chapter as well as the others. Ignore those trying to get a rise out of you by being negative. They have their own agenda or are jealous of your abilities. Please continue this great story.

DQS1,

We'll hang on tight. Please write on and we'll enjoy as you do. Read all positive responses and nothing to add just agree.

Thanks for sharing on Lit....very much.

x

I have to marvel at how well this author writes and wonder whether he goes by another name and has written books of which we'd be familiar.

I like the way in which DQS likens one of his female characters to a Sandro Botticelli painting. I'd think Debbie would qualify, because of her overall beauty, back in the Italian renaissance to have also been a model for Botticelli. The way in which DQS describes Debbie she would be the 15th century equivalent of the then fashionable model of Botticelli, Simonetta Vespucci. She appears as Venus in perhaps Botticelli most famous painting "The Birth of Venus."

I feel that the family get together in Bill's condo on his 42nd birthday is one of the high points of the entire story. It's saying a lot. Just note BJ's reaction, and the other family members felt the same way as BJ did.

Please keep "them" coming......quicker. The long wait between chapters is driving all of us crazy.

Thank you for continuing your wonderful story. Even with the wait, I thoroughly enjoy each chapter.

Clarice shows up in the last scene at Bill's apartment--but supposedly Clarice was Debbie's sister who got divorced, turned bitter, and committed suicide, didn't she? (Or died of cancer?)

To tell the truth, after weeks and weeks since the last installment I can't remember. But I'm pretty sure that Clarice is dead.

As well as DQS writes, it's asking an awful lot to expect us readers to remember things like this from one installment to the next. And either he's made a large Clarice-blunder, or so much time has gone by that I no longer remember what happened to her. (Or are there multiple Clarices? Why not?)

ohio

No question that DQS1 can string sentences together in a very readable fashion and he can do that as good as any if not better than any other writer on the site. Kudo’s for that! As far as the story goes, maybe not so much.

It seems to me that DQS1 wanted to accomplish a couple of strategic things with this chapter and a couple of tactical things. He knows that the story needs infrastructure that he can use to give it the legs it needs to take it well into next year. To that end he brings the dirty cop back and we get several paragraphs of that story arc. Two additional side stories always work better than one, so DQS1 gives us the psychotic killing investment broker story arc as well and we learn more about him than we really wanted to know. Okay, that task is completed and we have the story extenders in place.

The next strategic thing that it appears DQS1 wanted to do was to carry on with the demolition of the character of Bill. As a part of his campaign to reform Debbie’s character (or perhaps change history), it seems pretty certain that he has got to make Bill less and less likeable. I think in this chapter that DQS1 did a great job of bringing Bill back down toward the level he has placed Debbie on the likeable character scale. Wasn’t it just a few chapters back (or months back depending on what is the easiest way for you to track the story) that DQS1 took pains to show us how Bill was trying hard to make amends with his children. He was honestly and honorably trying to reconnect with them or so we thought. Well, in this chapter, what better way to show your kids that you love them than to give them a bald face lie when they are asking you for some quality time? I guess that it is just a better use of that time if it is spent banging the married French chic who comes to town for a couple weeks than it is to honestly give a rat’s ass about your kids. So now DQS1 is giving us a story where both the hero and heroine aren’t much to care about. I am curious though to see what Bill does next to make us like him even less.

Now for the two tactical things in the chapter. First, the way the “confrontation” scene was tacked on to the end, it kind of seemed like it was an after thought. Granted it was an entertaining exchange with Debbie predictably showing that she is thirty-nine going on thirteen. But what is new about that in this story? I wonder if this confrontation would have appeared at all at this time if it wasn’t meant to appease the masses who have been calling for it in the comments following the previous two chapters.

The second tactical thing in this chapter appeared to be the “redo” that the good Doctor Teller had with Debbie. After the previous installment, there was a pretty loud clamor from many of the folks posting comments that the “rape” scene pretty much didn’t surprise anybody because after all, we are talking about Debbie Bascomb here. Well, for an author set upon rehabilitating the image of one of his main characters, that type of response had to pretty much “ball up the works” of campaign “Sympathize with and like Debbie”. So we have the “redo” where essentially Debbie was found innocent of the slutty conduct.

I honestly hope that ten chapters back, DQS1 really knew and planned that in this chapter Aline would slap Debbie down in a verbal confrontation and that Dr. Teller would go back into Debbie’s dreams and free her from the guilt of the rape. If he did not have at least a good idea about these events and when they would occur, then this story is starting to make me wonder if DQS1 really knows where it is going. If parts of the story are getting influenced by the commentary or if publication times are being affected by the angst level of the audience, then it becomes a lot less compelling.

If DQS1 is writing it off the “cuff” that’s fine, we will take it for what it is and enjoy his fine sentence structure and writing ability. But I guess then I am not as anxious for the next chapters anymore as I once was. But if they pop up I will take a look at them.

but I admit that it took me two days to get around to reading

it and not because there were better stories to read.

Ohio were you just underlining the time between chapters or did you really forget that there are two Clarices in Deborah's family? Her aunt who died of cancer and her younger sister who got to see the beautiful lips...

Really it would be most unfortunate for Deborah to be

suddenly cured of her strange world view where everything rotates around big cocks and big tits. Do we have to forgive mad ladies for all the pain they cause? I got the impression from a note posted at the end of the comments about 5B that the next one will be the last. I will not be unhappy if it is...

Whatever you do, don't let anyone tell you that you aren't a first tier writer. Don't let I or anyone else make you rush the story. This is one story that I'll just have to wait with baited breath for each chapter however long it takes to write them. To me it's so Ironic that I have found a first class wordsmith & storyteller on an "Adult" web site. What's really sad is that I find so few outlets any more for an author of your skill at this period in time.

Keep up the good work, I am finding this series most enjoyable.

THE ONLY ONE WITH ANY BALLS IS "Aline", BILL IS A WIMP, AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN. BUT AS WITH MOST OF THE STORIES ANY MORE THAT IS HOW THE MAN IS SHOWN.

Something that drove me crazy while reading this enjoyable, but belated Installment...the pseudo drama of the criminal being arrested and threatening Maitland's ex wife with all the bravado of a typical macho antagonist on so many Literotica stories...my point WHO THREATENS AN EX...and keeps referring to her as the ex wife. Ok you threaten a real wife or ones children or parents or siblings... But not an ex...and not with all the vitriol as described. The same thing occurred with the meeting of the cop in the diner. There was no credibility in the threats. Just a deus ex machina to add present tension and obviously future drama that did not ring true. Also I had the same reaction as someone else...who the fuck was/is Clarice. I loved the last section with the meeting of you know who's...classically brilliant! I hate the installments. This is the 21st century, not Dickens or Hardy's era...but you're in good company Mr. Steele. Thank you for a wonderful story. Just quibbles.

DQS, You continue your character development and intertwining plots. Some have expressed anxiousness for the story to end. I disagree and look forward to many continuing chapters. For RHinSC, you are applying American culture and mores to the conduct of a sophisticated European couple. Aline's actions are not wrong in her setting. You know that she said that her husband has companions regularly. Why should either of them go for extended periods of time without sex?

Comedy! Love it! And I really like the development of Debbie's psychiatric counseling. Well done. Loved the sex scenes and the love scenes; different and both well done vignettes. Now on the Improve side, if Bill really is a senior DA he should have some management responsibilities. Those are staff meetings, personnel issues, performance reviews, strategizing with subordinates on cases, counseling new attorneys, mentoring senior ones, that sort of thing. The court room drama frankly doesn't do much for me, though I know you feel bound to showcase that as the central focus of Bill's life. Point is, there's more to THE JOB than the court room. If he's THE JOB then...

One minute I am reading about a ruthless prosecutor and a (as yet unproven) homicidal maniac and my blood pressure is rising. The next minute I am reading a comedy and having a good laugh.

I keep thinking I am going to lose track of the plot and sub plots that make up this tale but you manage to stitch it all together in such away that I have had no trouble following the flow.

Oh and my personal favourite: a beautiful, sophisticated French woman. Oh la la.

Fantastic writing. My only problem is that I have to wait for the next installment. They say patience is a virture, bugger that, I can't wait for the next chapter.

Phew... i thought the next episode wasn't coming. i thought u'd forgotten.

was happy to read it... worth the looooooooong wait i guess....

but please hurry up..... :)

thanks for a really enjoyable story...

but moron like readers using it as forum.

as I read Bill's reality situation that I had to stop reading so I could laugh out loud . . . so loud that all eyes in the hotel lobby turned to me. I so love this love story of Bill & Debbie. My opinion of Debbie keeps rising. And Bill . . . well even heroes have their moments. Thank you, DQS1 . . . again! :-)

I really like your writing. I hope this isn't the end of the story. If it is please write something else. Don't worry about about the people that make stupid comments. They don't have to read your stories if they don't want to and if they think they can do better then they can have at it and post their own stories.

Just when I thought Debbie was showing signs of becoming a human being, she decides to rip Aline apart. Sigh. As others have mentioned, I hope Debbie finally gets her head out from between her tits long enough to realize there is more to life.

On the nitpicking side, I’d encourage the author to engage an outside proof reader. There have been many instances of sentences that seem (to me at least) to be missing words, or have had typos. I’ve read them repeatedly thinking I was just not understanding. But I haven’t been able to reconcile them. There was also a reference in an earlier chapter to Debbie’s 2010 Nissan. An interest display of time travel. I had to go back to check the time frame of the story, and see what I’d missed. Small things, I realize, but they break up the flow of the story, and decrease my enjoyment. Perhaps it is just me.

Overall, I’m really enjoying this story, and will watch for further chapters.

Your story is progressing nicely. A sure sign of great writing are the number of authors who are reading your tale and commenting on it.

Great work,

Mendon

The confrontation bewtween Debbie and Aline was entertaining but it seems a bit hollow. In a way, Debbie has been removed from the story. Her meetings with Teller for the last two chapters have been out of context with what else is going on. In the last chapter she got shut down when she came to Bill's office. We didn't find out how she felt about that. In this chapter, she has the confrontation with Aline and then she leaves. We don't know how she feels after going through that. I see that the "reconciliation hopefuls" and the "reconciliation haters" have read something in these pages that make reconciliation a certainty. Apparantly, there is more evidence in this chapter that proves it. I think that I will let DQS1 keep telling the story on that issue.

It did seem a bit strange that the bad guys suddenly know about Bill's divorce and that they are going after Debbie, his EX-wife, because why? They know he still loves her? I thought that Jacksonville was a larger town than that.

The other thing that seemed a little strange to me was that Bill's family, children, mom, stepdad, his ex-in-laws, and his ex-wife get together as one family unit and come to Bill's place to surprise him with plans to go out and celebrate his birthday. Really? I bet Debbie and her ex-mother-in-law, Bill's mom, wouldn't have sat together.

Finally, one of the earlier posts questioned Bill's relationship with his children. However DQS1 writes the story, I am still hopeful that Bill gets a happy ending. In my mind, it would be very disappointing and it would hurt the story if Bill turned his back on his children for his career, for his lover or for anything else.

Thanks for sharing the story with us DQS1!

This was a WOW chapter, the last scene was worth the wait. Thank you DQS.

I love this story. I'm not always sure which way it's going and you have enough story lines going that I don't get bored. I know you're busy, but I can't wait for the next one.

As a wantabe summitter, I can only hope to be able to write a fraction as well. Your characters come alive pimples and all. I look forward to each installment. Thanks for the pleasure you give me and many others.

Mr. Maitland (should have) said, "Oh Debbie, Aline is my guest and a very good friend. You have no right to be bitchy with her or to be critical of her. And just for your information I am very well acquainted with her breasts and they are absolutely perfect in every way.

"When she walks into a room everyone sees this beautiful woman. When you walk into a room everyone sees balloon boobs.

"Now I want you all to leave because Aline and I have plans. Kelly, I am sorry I lied to you about why I wasn't available for tonight but non the less I am not available. As I told you I would love to be available for a birthday celebration in a couple of weeks after Aline leaves.

"Kelly, I would love it if you and B.J. would join us for dinner one night in the coming week. I would like you to get to know Aline. I will give you a call. Now goodnight everyone."