White Christmas Ch. 03

"Whatever you think is best," David admitted reluctantly.

David re-silenced his phone as soon as his call with Anna ended, for he knew it was highly likely that Sabrina was also still awake.

She was like him in that regard.

He turned his attention back to the bottle of rum, debating whether or not he'd allow himself a final shot before retreating upstairs.

But he knew there was no real use arguing with himself.

This was vacation, after all.

He refilled and extended his glass, toasting the empty room, but before he could shoot it, a soft, timid voice interrupted him.

"Mind if I join you?"

******

David seemed startled that she'd entered the living room, and Ellie felt her confidence begin to plummet. Perhaps she was already making a fool of herself.

But then she saw his eyes lower from her face, and pause in clear hunger on the thin chemise she'd decided to wear.

It was a far cry from the type of lingerie that explicitly screamed "sex", the racy, bold little things she'd used to love wearing for him to make him pant and salivate. But the short gown was revealing enough that Ellie hoped it would inspire some kind of lust in her husband. Made of sky satin, the delicate material hugged her body gently, falling in a pretty lace trim at her upper mid thigh.

David cleared his throat and brought his gaze back to her face, and Ellie actually found herself...disappointed.

She'd hoped he'd enjoy what he saw.

She'd hoped, even more, that he'd view her lingerie as an obvious hint.

Aninvitation.

"I thought you were going to bed," David said eventually. He seemed irritated, as if something had recently upset him. But he didn't necessarily seem additionally bothered byher, so Ellie chose to believe this was a good sign.

Shehad to believe it.

Ellie lowered herself onto the couch next to him, tucking her legs beneath her. And in an almost mindless gesture, David automatically extended his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders.

Ellie smiled.

This was how they used to always lounge together at home.

"I was...but I don't think I'm very tired yet," Ellie replied. She watched David's strong hands as he reached for a second empty glass on the coffee table, preparing a generous serving of rum for her.

"Well what would you like to do, love? There's a full library of movies to choose from," David mentioned.

With a deep breath, Ellie quickly swallowed the sweet, yet strong rum for courage, and she spoke with as much confidence as she could muster.

"Actually...I was hoping you might come to bed. With me," Ellie said quietly.

She could tell he was several glasses ahead of her, for it took her normally libidinous husband a beat longer than necessary to understand what she was implying.

His eyes darkened in lust and his mouth parted when he finally found the realization, and Ellie could tell David was growing aroused.

But to her surprise, he didn't move towards her, or even try to touch her.

And after a few heated moments, he actually shifted several inches away from her.

"It's been a long day of travel, Ellie. You should get some rest," David said. He spoke with a smile, but his voice almost sounded pained.

Did she...disgust him somehow?

"But...umm...earlier—"

"Was a careless move on my part, I admit. But you should get some sleep. I'll join you in a few," David said. His smile faded to a true grimace, his frown deepening as the moments passed.

David had never refused sex from her.

Ever.

But apparently now, he no longer found her attractive.

Perhaps she should have put on some makeup. Or perfume. Or even styled her hair.

Perhaps the modest gown wasn't enough to stir his interest.

She then wondered if he was refusing her because of how the miscarriage had changed her body, depleting her of the curves he'd used to love. She had lost a lot of weight, but she hadn't been able to muster the diligence, nor desire, to go back to the gym to try and gain it back.

Perhaps she looked exactly as she felt: weak, and sad.

Now that he could see her, in the most revealing clothing she'd worn in months, it was no wonder he now had no interest in sleeping with her.

Not wanting to let him see her wounded pride, Ellie dropped her empty glass on the table and swiftly stood from the couch.

"I'll be up in a minute, sweetheart," she heard David call.

She said nothing as she ran back upstairs, holding her breath to keep from falling apart.

It was only when she fell onto the bed that Ellie finally let herself cry.

She cried far longer than the minute David said he'd be joining her. It felt like she was crying alone for hours.

But to her sad relief, she cried so hard that eventually, she couldn't cry anymore, and her puffy eyes refused to stay open.

And then, she was she finally able to fall asleep.

******

******

It happened on a warm summer day in the beautiful town of Greenwich. The trees were emerald green.

The cloudless sky was bright turquoise.

Ellie had gone for a light jog in the forested acres surrounding their home early that morning, followed by her prenatal yoga class. She'd showered at the gym, as she always did, and had dressed in a pretty floral sundress with a pair of high heeled sandals.

She'd taken her time putting on her makeup and styling her hair, because she planned to surprise David at his office for lunch.

Andshe would be on the menu.

Her body had throbbed with excitement as she adjusted her sexy lingerie beneath her clothes, for she was eager to show her husband the new bra and panties she'd bought just for his pleasure. His favorite color was blue, and she knew he would love the lacy navy set.

David had tirelessly indulged her insatiable sexual appetites all throughout her pregnancy, for her lustful drives had never before been higher.

On most days, the first time they made love would be just before the sun rose. Ellie would still be half asleep, but her body would be throbbing and wet. She would softly coax her husband with needy whispers and moans to quickly rouse his interest.

David, even more asleep than she, would automatically roll over on top of her by her third plea, as if under a spell controlled by her desire. His eyes would often still be closed as he moved his hands over her body, pushing her panties to the side as he settled his erection between her legs, before gently penetrating her.

If she was feeling particularly energetic as the day progressed, even after her exercise, then she'd find an excuse to journey to the city for her second helping of sex for the day. And despite how demanding David's work was, he always found time to satisfy her, even if it was just a quickie on his desk.

Her libido would settle for the remainder of the afternoon, but would then sneak up on her with a violent attack as Ellie waited impatiently for David to return home from work. That final hour, between six-thirty and seven-thirty, was the longest hour of the day. She'd pace and fidget, and try to think of anythingbut sex, but every inch of her skin was so sensitive, her pussy so demanding, that her panties would be nearly soaked by the time David finally walked through the door.

She'd immediately lunge for him the second she caught sight of his muscular body in his tailored suit. And David, despite his exhaustion of the day, would always let her subdue him with a lustful smile on his face.

David would let her run the show for their evening sex, for he knew just how crazy her hormones made her by the end of the day. She'd ride his cock selfishly, desperately seeking her own pleasure, one hand on her clit as she teased her nipples with her other.

Ellie would finally be sated after her pre-dinner orgasm, or two, and sometimes even tired, but as the night continued to darken, David's dark lusts would take center stage, summoning hers for an encore.

He'd master her by night, yielding seductive authority over her body with the raw power and tender sensitivity to her condition that could only come from a dominant, yet loving, husband. Sometimes he'd push her to her knees and shove his cock inside of her mouth, with a soft hand on one side of her face, and a firm grip in her hair.

Other times, he'd tie her down on their bed, and hungrily lick her pussy until she was sobbing from so much pleasure.

Then, he'd push her onto her hands and knees, and roughly fuck another orgasm out of her.

Finally, with a nice hot shower, Ellie would be satisfied enough to go to sleep.

Until early the next morning, before the sun rose, when all would once more repeat.

David had often joked that he was lucky to have such a horny wife on his hands. It was indeed an exhausting duty, but he was all too willing to oblige.

And Ellie had loved him even more for it.

Ellie had gone to the local farmer's market laterthat one summer morning after leaving the gym, and had purchased some fresh herbs for the new pasta recipe she wanted to try for dinner. She'd run into Jessica Grayson, the wife of David's professional rival, and close friend, Peter Grayson, while idling by a stand of strawberries. Ellie had always been wary around Jessica, for she was usually a very conservative, even standoffish, woman, but something about her pregnancy seemed to put others around her in a better mood.

Or maybe, she was just seeing things with her joyful, but often forgetful, pregnancy brain.

Jessica had gently touched her belly, complimenting her with kindhearted envy.

"You're so lucky you're still in heels," Jessica had said. "I could hardly walk at all my second trimester!"

Ellie had stopped by the bookstore in town after her grocery shopping, and had picked up the newest release from one of David's favorite financial analysts. She'd then picked up her prenatal vitamins from the drugstore, and finally, she'd taken all of her packages home.

It was after she'd put away the groceries, and before the scheduled arrival of her driver to take her to the city for her midday lovemaking, that Ellie felt the unmistakable, soft trickle of blood flow down her thigh.

For a moment, Ellie was certain her imagination was playing tricks on her.

There wasno way there was something wrong with her pregnancy. She refused to believe it.

All of the pregnancy books and guides had said that miscarriages mostly happened in the first trimester.

She was well into her second.

Those same books had outlined the exhaustive criteria for what made a pregnancy "high-risk."

Advanced maternal age.

Ellie still had a full decade before she'd even turn thirty-five.

Substance abuse.

Ellie even avoided ibuprofen.

Blood sugar. Blood pressure. Unhealthy weight. Lack of exercise...

Ellie worked out, every day. Light jogging in the morning for heart health, followed by her prenatal yoga classes. Sometimes Pilates. She cooked at home, using only organic ingredients, and she ate very healthy, especially after finding out she was pregnant. She'd even completely ignored her pregnancy cravings of ice cream andkanelbullar, forcing herself to settle her sweet tooth with fresh low sugar fruit instead.

No, there was no way she was losing her baby.

She'd doneeverything right.

But the faint trickle quickly grew to a pounding red river, so prolific that Ellie immediately collapsed from the rapid blood loss with a grating scream.

When her knees collided with the cold marble floor, instantly bruising, a pain far greater than Ellie ever could have fathomed immediately encompassed her entire being.

She felt it most in her lower abdomen, a merciless, violent stabbing, but the breadth of the pain seemed to travel all throughout her body, even to her fingers and toes. It was as if someone was butchering her from the outside, just as her body was destroying itself from the inside, a horrific collision of harrowing strikes so unbearable that Ellie was certain she would pass out, or lose her mind entirely. Even the act of breathing intensified the pain, so powerful Ellie felt as if it would kill her.

Or worse, kill her baby.

Baby Eira. Eira Lisbeth.

She couldn't sit and cry on the floor. She needed to get up, and get to a doctor.

She needed to save her baby.

The closest phone was her cell phone in her purse, still sitting on the kitchen island several feet above her.

Her driver wasn't due to arrive for at least another fifteen minutes.

Ellie was on her own.

She pushed herself off of the floor, swimming in a dark pool of her own life leaving her body, but the strain was so strong on her weakened limbs that Ellie immediately collapsed back onto the floor.

She had to get up. She had to call an ambulance.

Shehad to save her baby.

Ellie tried again, screaming in agony as her arms trembled, lifting herself a few inches off of the floor, but her palms slipped in her blood, and she fell down again, this time, her face colliding with the base of the kitchen island.

The sharp pain in her head temporarily distracted her from the pain in her stomach, and Ellie struggled to push herself off of the floor with all of the strength she had left in her body.

But as soon as she stood, the wound on her head burst, and Ellie was falling to the floor again before she could reach her phone.

It felt like hours that she was lying there, drifting in and out of consciousness. But the pain followed her, even as her body tried to pass out. The pain suffocated her with its heavy weight, shackled her with its invisible hold.

Ellie knew she needed to move, to try again to call for help.

But she couldn't even breathe.

There was a brief respite of darkness, followed by frantic calls of her name. It was her driver.

But Ellie still couldn't move or speak.

There was darkness again, and when her vision returned, her surroundings had changed. Bright white lights. Strangers in masks frantically moving around her. Sheets of blood being carried away.

It was chaos, so cold and loud and harsh, that Ellie began wishing for the darkness again.

"We're going to need to perform surgery. Heart rate is dropping," someone said.

No, surely they wouldn't. Baby Eira was still inside of her. Her perfect little baby. Ellie had doneeverything she was supposed to do.

"Has anyone gotten hold of the husband yet?" someone else asked.

Where was David? Did he know what these people were trying to do to her?

"They've been trying, but no one's getting through. Some big Wall Street guy. Should we wait for him?" another voice asked.

Yes, they had to wait for her husband. Theyhad to wait for David.

She couldn't survive this without him. Their baby needed him.

"No, let's prep her now. We're gonna have to operate without him. The fetus is long gone...let's make sure we don't lose the mother too."

******

******

David was startled awake by the sound of a harrowing scream, something straight out of a horror movie. It was so loud, so distressed, that he instantly entered defense mode, and launched himself off of the couch and ran upstairs two at a time.

The shrieks only got louder as David swiftly navigated the darkened hallways to the master bedroom. When he finally pushed the doors open, he found his wife, thrashing and screaming on the bed, her body covered in sweat.

David rushed to her side, pulling her against his chest with a tender, yet firm hold, so that she wouldn't hurt herself writhing around in her nightmare. It broke his heart to see her terror, to hear her screaming and crying, but he knew now that immediately waking her up would be even more torturous for her.

He had to wait for her to come back to him.

She'd only screamed like this once before, her first night home after her stay at the hospital. David had frantically shaken her awake from her nightmare, desperate to console her as quickly as possible, but even as her eyes opened, her exhausted mind still hadn't left the horrors of her dream behind.

It was as if she was still trapped in her nightmare, even while awake. She'd pushed him away, and had run through their house, sobbing and howling in desperate search of their baby.

David had tried catching her and holding her, and had tried telling her that their baby was gone.

But this had only made Ellie panic even more.

Now, David rocked her back and forth, holding her tightly as her screams eventually began to lessen.

And after a few minutes, her shrieks faded completely, and Ellie finally opened her eyes.

He knew better than to ask her about the nightmare. Ellie had completely shut down when he'd asked the first time. He wanted so badly to comfort her, to assimilate the pain she was feeling and bear it as his own, but he couldn't push her.

He had to continue to wait for her.

He wanted to tell her about the nightmares he'd been having, but he knew that was selfish. And weak.

He needed to be the strong one. He needed to be her knight.

And she didn't need to know how he'd been avoiding sleep for months because of how torturous his own nightmares had been.

"You never came to bed," Ellie said softly. She sounded small, and her sad voice pulled on his heart.

"Bit too much rum, love. I dozed off downstairs. I'm sorry," David apologized. Her brow gently furrowed, as if she didn't believe him.

"I wanted you to come to bed with me," Ellie said. Her words summoned his heart even more, as well as that mindless part of himself he knew he needed to ignore.

No sex. None at all.

"You're tired, sweetheart," David said.

"David, stop saying that...please. I need you to come to bed with me. Please," Ellie pleaded.

And to his surprise, she actually started to cry again.

He slowly shook his head, and the sadness on her face made him want to fall to his knees and beg her forgiveness.

But Dr. Cole was right — sex was the last thing Ellie needed. She was confused, hurting, and scared. He would not take advantage of her vulnerability to slake his own lusts.

No matter how delectable she looked in her flimsy nightgown, the hem pushed up over her hips, her tiny lace panties just begging to be ripped off...

No sex. None at all. Not even if she initiates it.

David strained to tear his eyes away from her, and stare straight ahead.

He knew it was wrong, perverse even, but the sight of his young wife, flushed and timid, was as heartbreaking as it was arousing.

The desire to comfort her was intrinsically linked to the desire to fuck her. He wanted to do both, at the same time.

He wanted to turn her screams of fear into screams of pleasure.

"Am I ugly to you now, David?" Ellie asked quietly. David's mouth fell open, shocked that such an absurd thought could even cross her mind.

Even on herworst day, she was the most beautiful woman in any room she walked into.

Surely she knew that.

"What are you talking about? Of course not! Why would you think that?" David asked incredulously.

"Because...David I'm really trying, and I don't understand why you're so uninterested in me all of a sudden," Ellie said.

David brought his fingertips to the bridge of his nose. This was not going the way he'd expected.

"I don't think sex is what you need right now, Ellie," David pleaded.

He could feel a shift in Ellie's fear. A ripple of sensation that seemed to strengthen her.

Wordless, she pushed herself out of his arms and stood from the bed, roughly gripping her shawl and wrapping it around her trembling shoulders.

"Love, I'm sorry, I—"

"Please don't humiliate me further, David. I think I've had enough for one night," Ellie said. David frowned.